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View Full Version : Things you really do not want to know!



MsVicki
01-08-04, 08:07 PM
A friend sent this to me this morning. I had seen it before, but it still makes me chuckle!

THINGS YOU REALLY DO NOT WANT TO KNOW!

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it.)

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that's more like it!)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet. (OMG!)

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.) (I'm still not over the pig.)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Do not try this at home!!!...... maybe at work.)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. ("Honey, I'm home. What the....?!")

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field. (30 minutes ... lucky pig ... can you imagine??)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)

Butterflies taste with their feet. (Something I always wanted to know.)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmm........)

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump. (OK, so that would be a good thing....)

A cat's urine glows under a black light. (I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like that.)

Starfish have no brains. (I know some people like that, too.)

Polar bears are left-handed. (If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (What about that pig??)

Allister
01-08-04, 09:22 PM
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it.)
However they could hook up Gilbert Gottfried to the grid and power a small city.

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that's more like it!)

Just call me Mr. Oppenheimer.

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.

The male or the female?

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Do not try this at home!!!...... maybe at work.)

It's known as the Cubicle Dweller's Workout.

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. ("Honey, I'm home. What the....?!")

At least she'll know if he's been cheating on her.

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field. (30 minutes ... lucky pig ... can you imagine??)

How did the football field become the standard unit of measurement for really big stuff?

Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)

Butterflies taste with their feet. (Something I always wanted to know.)

They must be real conscientious about keeping their sock clean.

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.

Shouldn't that be elephants and white men?

A cat's urine glows under a black light. (I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)

Paid? People figure out this kind of stuff for free after a couple of doobies. It's only the cleverest ones that remember to write it down.

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like that.)

You know some ostriches?

Starfish have no brains. (I know some people like that, too.)

What possible use for a brain would a starfish have anyway? On a scale of usefulness they're only slightly above game show hosts.

Polar bears are left-handed. (If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.)

Yes. All other bears are right handed. There was a time when lefthandedness was thought to be wrong, and all the lefthanded bears were shunned by bear society and eventually retreated further and further north to escape persecution.


Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (What about that pig??) not to mention the lions?

SamDaBikinMan
01-08-04, 09:23 PM
Lucky pig ;)

jeff williams
01-09-04, 02:06 AM
Quote:
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Originally Posted by MsVicki
A cat's urine glows under a black light. (I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)
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Paid? People figure out this kind of stuff for free after a couple of doobies. It's only the cleverest ones that remember to write it down.

Thanks MsVicki-
oh man Allister, had to laugh into a shirt, everybody is sleeping. :roflmao:

Zub Zub
01-15-04, 05:15 PM
The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet. (OMG!)



I wanna try I wanna try!! :p