General Cycling Discussion - Underwear Poll

Do you wear underwear under your bike shorts?

Get a life crotch gaurd.

Get a life crotch gaurd.

This is my life, fixie-boy! I shall not cease from mental fight, nor shall my sword rest in my hand until the last unsightly panty line has been erased from the sport of cycling.

Underwear Nazi
With apologies to William Blake






Crotch guard. Hmm. That's a good one.

Do you wear underwear under your bike shorts?

I never wear underwear in any situation- never, ever, never, EVER! Free-ballin' is absolutely the only way to go. You will never understand the liberation unless you give it a try. If you try it, you will like it. I repeat - IF YOU TRY IT, YOU WILL LIKE IT! What are you scared of, undie-peeps??? What are you scared of?

Do it, and thank me later. :)

I never wear underwear in any situation- never, ever, never, EVER! Free-ballin' is absolutely the only way to go. You will never understand the liberation unless you give it a try. If you try it, you will like it. I repeat - IF YOU TRY IT, YOU WILL LIKE IT! What are you scared of, undie-peeps??? What are you scared of?

Do it, and thank me later. :)
Never did have underwear under my bike shorts, and since last summer nothing under my jeans or whatever I'm wearing when I'm off the bike. ;)

The boys thank you and I thank you. :D

This is my life, fixie-boy! I shall not cease from mental fight, nor shall my sword rest in my hand

Lack of life noted.

But, you know, if you're not wearing underwear, something's gotta hold your sword.....


:D

"But, you know, if you're not wearing underwear, something's gotta hold your sword....."

Unless your sword is getting sharpened on your zipper.

Keeping the world safe from chafing and skid marks!

(Say, if you don't believe in underwear, why does your avatar wear it?)

This is my life, fixie-boy!
You had to go there...just had to go there. Tsk tsk tsk...
Okay-
To be so focused on such a disposable item and dedicate the amount of time you do to eradicating this cottony demonwrap makes me wonder if I might have chosen the wrong profession. I should be an anti-underwear forum troller. I need to champion this cause too, but I am committed to other forum needs elsewhere. When the task at hand is finished, I will be right by your side, forever shirking society's ever-oppressive underwear addiction: watch out Fruit of the Loom, Disco's dead....you're next. Yes, I killed off disco. And I am currently working on Blink182 and Green Day. Corporate "punk" has no place in this life or any other. Just like underwear. And this forum. And WK. And me. Wait...the last three things are cool. Except when you call someone "fixie-boy." We prefer "one-geared Nancy"...now gimme a tea, ya bastid.
In the mean time...just for you, Underwear Nazi: http://www.cafeshops.com/derailleurssuck.9349842
Ready Steady Go~

Mr Nazi I just want you to know that you are me and my boys hero :D

Let them be free!
They will love you for it

And to think some people pay to see threads like this.
It's fun to wear no underware!

Underwear Nazi, I need your advice! I'm kind of squeamish about going totally without underwear because....well....I just feel nekkid without something between me and my outerwear but I hate panty lines. What are your thoughts on a thong? Is this a good compromise?

Signed,

Hates lines on my ass

:roflmao:

p.s.
nothing comes between me and my bike shorts...ever!

Underwear Nazi, I need your advice! I'm kind of squeamish about going totally without underwear because....well....I just feel nekkid without something between me and my outerwear but I hate panty lines. What are your thoughts on a thong? Is this a good compromise?

Signed,

Hates lines on my ass!

Okay I'm not the underwear nazi but I got to answer this ones

Dear Hates lines on my ass

Please do not think of wearing that skimpy little thong under your bike shorts. One of the funniest sites I have experienced was following a rider wearing one on the Tour de Fat a couple of years ago. You could still see it and it wasn't pleasant. This is coming from someone who enjoys drafting a finely crafted female rear end (or should I say ogling) :D

Signed: Free and proud of it!

I have to agree, I was following a female rider last year and the sun was at our backs; I could count the stiches in her blue underwear through her black shorts. :eek:

Okay I'm not the underwear nazi but I got to answer this ones

Dear Hates lines on my ass

Please do not think of wearing that skimpy little thong under your bike shorts. One of the funniest sites I have experienced was following a rider wearing one on the Tour de Fat a couple of years ago. You could still see it and it wasn't pleasant. This is coming from someone who enjoys drafting a finely crafted female rear end (or should I say ogling) :D

Signed: Free and proud of it!

Dear Free and proud of it,

I understand about the not wearing underwear under bike shorts. That I never do but my confusion comes from everyday apparel...business suits, jeans, shorts...well you get the idea.

Bike shorts are different because you already feel like you're wearing a diaper so who wants to add to that with underwear?

Can anyone offer me advice on my dilemma?

Hates lines on my ass

:lol:

The funniest thing about this poll:
There are now THREE DnvrFox members...1 original, 2 clones? Someone stop that man from replicating! :D

I never wear underwear in any situation- never, ever, never, EVER! Free-ballin' is absolutely the only way to go. You will never understand the liberation unless you give it a try. If you try it, you will like it. I repeat - IF YOU TRY IT, YOU WILL LIKE IT! What are you scared of, undie-peeps??? What are you scared of?

Do it, and thank me later. :)

I agree, undie-free for the last 3 months.

I agree, undie-free for the last 3 months.

You're getting there, boyfriend!

Now, gimme a smooch!

:love: :love:


(By the way, I voted that I never wear underwear. But then, I ride nekkid!)

Never did have underwear under my bike shorts, and since last summer nothing under my jeans or whatever I'm wearing when I'm off the bike. ;)

The boys thank you and I thank you. :D

You are very welcome. As I state to and and everyone - TRY IT YOU'LL LIKE IT!!! :D

I agree, undie-free for the last 3 months.

Another convert - and it's Joe no less! Let freedom roll! :D

Oh, wow! Now there are Seven DnvrFoxes!

I think we have a problem here. Dnvr is clonong at high speed now

DnvrFox votes Chicago-style: early and often.

Will the real Dnvrfox please stand up! :eek: :D

DnvrFox votes Chicago-style: early and often.
Hey! I represent that remark!

Underwear Nazi, I need your advice! I'm kind of squeamish about going totally without underwear because....well....I just feel nekkid without something between me and my outerwear but I hate panty lines. What are your thoughts on a thong? Is this a good compromise?

Signed,

Hates lines on my ass

:roflmao:

p.s.
nothing comes between me and my bike shorts...ever!

I gotta hear his advice on this one.
:D

Underwear Nazi, I need your advice! I'm kind of squeamish about going totally without underwear because....well....I just feel nekkid without something between me and my outerwear but I hate panty lines. What are your thoughts on a thong? Is this a good compromise?

Signed,

Hates lines on my ass

:roflmao:

p.s.
nothing comes between me and my bike shorts...ever!

Well, Rocky,

This is a little outside my jurisdiction. I really couldn't care less what you wear under your street clothes, as long as you're not putting undies under your bike shorts. I will say that when in doubt, it is best to do the Brooke Shields. And if you truly hate lines on your ass, don't wear corduroy.

Underwear Nazi
P.S. Good soldier!

Underwear National Socialist:

If it feels good, do it (on the bike.)

Underwear National Socialist:

If it feels good, do it (on the bike.)

LittleBigMan:

I never would have taken you for a hippie anarchist. Your "If it feels good, do it" ethical relativism is a danger to society and to the culture of cycling. There are moral absolutes and underwear, in cycling, is absolutely evil.

Underwear Nazi
Besides, going commando does feel good

Do you wear underwear under your bike shorts?

(and the choices given are: )

No way!

Never!

I never wear underwear!

Commando here!

I am DnvrFox

(seems just a bit biased!)

Goodness.

My very own category!

I am so impressed.

And I refuse to vote on this loaded and biased poll. All others claiming to be me are craven impostors. I am the ONLY DnvrFox!

The REAL DnvrFox has spoken!

Undies forever!

Saving your butt from the effects of infestations of literally millions of small creepy bugs that are unremovable from and multiply in those mobile petri dishes called "chamois," and using an easily washable layer (undies) to absorb all that "crap" (so to speak).

No udder butter, vaseline or other greasy substances needed with the DnvrFox method. Undies users UNITE and save your butts from the attacks of the devious UNDERWEAR NAZI!

(It wont be too long before some humor impaired nut starts taking all this seriously and writes some indignant response. It always happens that way!)

[B[I]Saving your butt from the effects of infestations of literally millions of small creepy bugs that are unremovable from and multiply in those mobile petri dishes called "chamois," and using an easily washable layer (undies) to absorb all that "crap" (so to speak).

So tell me just how does a thin layer of cotton or cotton blend prevent this from happening?

So tell me just how does a thin layer of cotton or cotton blend prevent this from happening?

Because you can wash those bugs right out, as it is thin. Even washing a chamois does not get the germies out. You even see posts about "Hanging my chamois out in the sun" to try and kill the little buggers. You also see posts about bleaching, etc., etc., all in vain attempts to get rid of those little devils. Undies wash easily, and you can even don a new pair in the middle of the ride if so inclined, but I have never needed to do this.

You have never seen a post from me about how to get rid of one of those terrible rashes! Nor will you ever!

Because you can wash those bugs right out, as it is thin. Even washing a chamois does not get the germies out. You even see posts about "Hanging my chamois out in the sun" to try and kill the little buggers. You also see posts about bleaching, etc., etc., all in vain attempts to get rid of those little devils. Undies wash easily, and you can even don a new pair in the middle of the ride if so inclined, but I have never needed to do this.

You have never seen a post from me about how to get rid of one of those terrible rashes! Nor will you ever!

But what stops those bugs from penetrating the cotton barrier? My thoughts are that the critters move freely between the two sides of the undies, so why wear the garment equivalent of the Maginot Line? And just because you washed em out of the undies, the ones that live in the chamois are still free to surge through the cotton and plunder your backside like the Mongol Invasion.

Besides, undies don't belong on a bike. Everyone knows that!

You have never seen a post from me about how to get rid of one of those terrible rashes! Nor will you ever!

Um nor I and I don't use Butt Butter either. Your use of germ combat still has one problem since cotton doesn't kill germs and it absorbs all that nasty germ infested liquid you are worried about. All the Chamois does is absorb that so you still have the dreaded germ problem. Personally I wash my shorts after them and in 20 years of wearing them have never had a germ problem. Again I ask why buy something at a high price when you are not using it for what it is designed for save your money and where your undies.

Umm!!

As I predicted, this is once again starting to get serious!

Bye now.

LittleBigMan:

I never would have taken you for a hippie anarchist. Your "If it feels good, do it" ethical relativism is a danger to society and to the culture of cycling. There are moral absolutes and underwear, in cycling, is absolutely evil.

Underwear Nazi
Besides, going commando does feel good
Mr. Underwear Nazi,

Just as there are moral absolutes in cycling, there are also moral absolutes in
privacy.

So get out of my shorts!

:D

Mr. Underwear Nazi,

Just as there are moral absolutes in cycling, there are also moral absolutes in
privacy.

So get out of my shorts!

:D

Come on, Petey! YOU get outa your shorts and RIDE NEKKID with me!

:love:

I think this UWN stuff is a joke taken to far.... it's old and not even silly now.

I think this UWN stuff is a joke taken to far.... it's old and not even silly now.
Underwear Nazi, let these words ring soundly in your ears--

...whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender...

:)

I think this UWN stuff is a joke taken to far.... it's old and not even silly now.

Attention! Attention, good netizens one and all! Hail, hail to King Karstens. BikeForums reigning crankiest member has spoken. He is not amused, therefore you should not be amused, either. All Hail King William the Wetblanket, and note that by royal decree, henceforth and forevermore underwear shall be spelled as two words.

So, William, do you covet the title of Humor Nazi? What makes you think I'm joking, anyway?

By the way, if you don't like the show, change the channel.


Mr. Underwear Nazi,

Just as there are moral absolutes in cycling, there are also moral absolutes in
privacy.

So get out of my shorts!

:D

So, LittleBigFella, have you forgotten that I am a Nazi? Your right to privacy is superceded by the rights of the state to dictate the good of its citizens' asses.


Underwear Nazi, let these words ring soundly in your ears--

...whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender...

:)

Well, that explains the annoying ringing in my ears! O.K. my Y-fronted friend, bring it on!

To arms! to arms! ye brave!
Th' avenging sword unsheathe,
March on! march on! all hearts resolved
On victory or death! (Rouget de Lisle)

Underwear Nazi
It is a good day to die.

(snip) King William the Wetblanket, a(snip) By the way, if you don't like the show, change the channel.

So now name calling is ok? (read forum guidlines, moderator in disguise)
Where did I tell anyone not to post on your post? (didn't.. you just decided to make it specious)
Where is telling my opinion (that your post are drivel like, and the joke is old) something that garners the joy of being labeled a wet blanket by someone who insist on telling others what to wear? (That's the pot calling the kettle black).

And, are you telling me that I should look at your post? I could make it my very purpose to see that your points be debated on every front.

You take silly things to far, and you hold your greivance (from other places) to deep.

So now name calling is ok? (read forum guidlines, moderator in disguise)
Where did I tell anyone not to post on your post? (didn't.. you just decided to make it specious)
Where is telling my opinion (that your post are drivel like, and the joke is old) something that garners the joy of being labeled a wet blanket by someone who insist on telling others what to wear? (That's the pot calling the kettle black).

And, are you telling me that I should look at your post? I could make it my very purpose to see that your points be debated on every front.

You take silly things to far, and you hold your greivance (from other places) to deep.

William, William, William...this is your STALKER typing (as I recall you calling me.....err, who did you say seems to think name-calling is ok??).

Chill and put the Underwear Nazi on ignore if you do not want to read his posts. Wouldn't that make the most sense?

You are much too serious about all this. CHILL!! After all, the Underwear Nazi is all is fun, William. Anyone with a sense of humor can see that. Just ask Cyclochica. :)

And remember that I love you, William! ;)

Lady Jane, I did applogize about the stalker comment via PM, and as well, there was a winkie with the comment. The most sense is not something that's applicable.

As for love.. what's love got to do with it? ;)

Because you can wash those bugs right out, as it is thin. Even washing a chamois does not get the germies out. You even see posts about "Hanging my chamois out in the sun" to try and kill the little buggers. You also see posts about bleaching, etc., etc., all in vain attempts to get rid of those little devils. <snip>


you could always nuke em in the microwave if your really worried about it....

*giggles*

So, um, is it okay like if you don't wear anything under the bike shorts but you wear Hanes boxer-briefs (y'know, like Michael Jordan?) over the bike shorts?

I, um, kinda like it.

you could always nuke em in the microwave if your really worried about it....

*giggles*

Just as long as you are not wearing them when you nuke em! :D

Ok Nazi, Here's one that may fall in a gray area. What if someone wanted to try bike shorts on for fit in a bike store? Humm I have to wonder does the no under ware (separating the two words for the King) rule apply?

-SinGate looking for loopholes wherever they may be

Ok Nazi, Here's one that may fall in a gray area. What if someone wanted to try bike shorts on for fit in a bike store? Humm I have to wonder does the no under ware (separating the two words for the King) rule apply?

-SinGate looking for loopholes wherever they may be
I can easily think of more than one loophole. Nazi's always were narrow-minded.

When I get a 30 minute lunch break and I want to bike over to the store, or credit union, I don't have time to change into any kind of bikewear. I just go.

Ok Nazi, Here's one that may fall in a gray area. What if someone wanted to try bike shorts on for fit in a bike store? Humm I have to wonder does the no under ware (separating the two words for the King) rule apply?

-SinGate looking for loopholes wherever they may be

Apples and oranges here you will not be riding with them besides I haven't tried on a pair of shorts for years I know my size. :D

you could always nuke em in the microwave if your really worried about it....

*giggles*

That might sterilize them.


Just as long as you are not wearing them when you nuke em! :D

That might sterilize you.


So, um, is it okay like if you don't wear anything under the bike shorts but you wear Hanes boxer-briefs (y'know, like Michael Jordan?) over the bike shorts?

I, um, kinda like it.

I, um, kinda worry about you. But, yes, it is permissible to wear your underwear over your bikes shorts.


Ok Nazi, Here's one that may fall in a gray area. What if someone wanted to try bike shorts on for fit in a bike store? Humm I have to wonder does the no under ware (separating the two words for the King) rule apply?

-SinGate looking for loopholes wherever they may be

OK SinGate, how would you know they actually fit if you had underwear under them in the bike store?

Think about this: a vocal minority of men in this forum claim to be full-time freeballers. Next time you try on a pair of any kind of pants, think about who might have tried them on before you.

If this thought worries you, carry a can of Raid with you and spray those shorts down good before you slip them on in the fitting room. Otherwise, be a man, drop the briefs and try on the shorts the way God intended.


I can easily think of more than one loophole. Nazi's always were narrow-minded.

When I get a 30 minute lunch break and I want to bike over to the store, or credit union, I don't have time to change into any kind of bikewear. I just go.

No bike clothes, no bike shorts. No bike shorts, no worries. Wear bike shorts, no underwear. No exceptions. Got it? Good.

Underwear Nazi
Closing loopholes everywhere