Tandem Cycling - Non spouse stoker

Anyone married and ride tandem with other members of the opposite gender? Any problems or benefits? I currently ride with my wife and recently a female friend started as a part-time stoker, just wondering about any issues that may arise.

Anyone married and ride tandem with other members of the opposite gender?

Yes. My daughters. :lol:

My wife is always happy when her sister stokes.

Anyone married and ride tandem with other members of the opposite gender? Any problems or benefits? I currently ride with my wife and recently a female friend started as a part-time stoker, just wondering about any issues that may arise.

I suggest marking your wife's seat position (and anything else you adjust for the "other stoker"); make sure you put everything back in the correct place after the ride...and never, ever tell your wife.

When your wife finds out, make sure you have prepared answers to questions like:

"Is she lighter than me?"

"Is she faster than me?"

["I don't think she even knows how to pedal," is a good response to anything your wife will ask.]

I have often ridden with different stokers: daughter, sons, niece, felow male cyclists, even once a female friend who would not be competitive in my wife's home turf, and once as a stoker (that was fun, I'd like to do it again). These have been one time rides and not recurring events, our children are in different cities except for our youngest son, who is 15 and very rarely accepts a ride.

I posted my name to an arganization that runs tandem races for blind stokers, but they did not come up with a stoker for me.

A female stoker who might be perceived by my wife as a competitor in her proper role would be an issue I would not care to tackle.

Good luck.

I wouldn't do it... haha. But that's just me.

Same here. Not in the cards. There's but one stoker for me!!!

Andy

Stoker with Benefits? I've heard of "freinds with benefits" but never a "stoker with benefits." Maybe that's not what you meant, and your wife may only mind for a little while (until she divorces you).

I've taken my wife's niece on a tandem ride, I've had other guys on the back, and even taken other peoples kids, but never another female stoker who wasn't my wife or a family relation. My wife has now lost her stoker position to my two oldest sons (7 and 4) so she may not get it back anytime soon.

My wife isn't the jelous type, but she can be rather competetive, so I'm not sure she'd be OK with another female stoker in her spot. I've got a number of female teammates with stoker experience, and though my wife really had to lay off riding for a while with back issues, I've steered clear of the whole issue.

I've got no desire to go there....although I have taken my 23 year old daughter a few times. Even though I like spending the time with her, I don't particularly like taking her riding because I feel like I'm doing her a disservice by not getting her properly fitted. She's taller than her mother and while I've raised the saddle for her, I refuse to touch the fore/aft adjustment or anything on the stoker bars, so I know it's probably not very comfortable for her. Even marking the saddle height seemed kind of sketchy in getting the saddle exactly as it was for the "real stoker" when I put it back.

My wife/stoker has permission to touch my.......seat......as desired. Not sure what kind of rules/privileges a non-wife-female/stoker would have.

Have taught hundreds of folks how to ride 'in tandem' over 33 years; so yes, have ridden with many different stokers. Male/female/kidz/blind/physically limited.
However my favorite is my wife Kay. Have covered many thousands of miles TWOgether.
Rudy/zonatandem

Not going there, buddy. :D

What would probably work best is if you just started out by taking the new stoker to shop for some new shoes.














<ducks and runs>

As the toast says.
Heres to my wife & girlfriend! May the two never meet!

Same here. Not in the cards. There's but one stoker for me!!!

Andy

Same here.

I can ride with my daughters, sisters, etc every once in a while. Call me old fashion, but a "female" stoker, no way! Why would I want to do that? I am sure my wife would tell me: It is OK. But I know she would feel hurt. If I want to ride and my wife does not, then I take my single.

On the triple we have taken several female and male stokers. And I have taken male/female stokers for short rides to show them how the tandem works, etc

Yes. My daughters. :lol:

My daughter and I are the tandemers, My wife won't get near it.

I'm very sure my spouse is relieved that both our daughters like stoking-so she doesn't have to! She feels here proper place is in control of the SAG minivan, only a phone call away! http://www.bikeforums.net/images/smilies/smile.gif

I am not married however I would never consider a different female stoker than the one I am riding with now. While I might be able to find one faster (only a little if at all since current stoker is pretty damn good, best stoker I've ridden with so far) it's not why I choose to ride tandem. "It's the journey, not the destination." I'm blessed to have found someone who enjoys riding as much as I do. If she chose not to ride one day that I wanted to ride, I'd be on my single like Cornucopia or Stoking for Cornucopia on his triple. My stoker keeps telling me I should give that a try.

One thing that is not clear is why you would want to ride with a different stoker. Do you feel you could go faster on the bike, does your wife not wish to ride or is not able to ride as much, or are you simply looking for a subtle way of telling her you would like a divorce?

If you are just curious to see how fast you can get your tandem going then find a male stoker for this. My guess is that since there still tends to be a greater number of male riders out there that you will be able to find one that is fast easier. When I bought my tandem, it came in with two other tandems, one of which was sold to someone who races pretty seriously. He bought the bike to ride with his wife, however after fitting the bike with a 56 chainring, stuck a teammate (male) on the bike to see how fast they could get it to go. They claim over 40MPH on flat ground.

This question falls under, "If you need to ask, you already should know the answer."

As the toast says.
Heres to my wife & girlfriend! May the two never meet!

A nice variation is ....May they always be the same

I say, the more people you can get interested in the joys of riding a tandem, the better. I brought my tandem to a late night bike ride last weekend without my wife (too late for her), and it was a huge hit. I rode with several different female (and one male) stokers--pretty much all the way there with one of the women, and all the way back with another, and the others while we were taking a break in between--plus the male stoker riding captain with his wife a bit. All of them loved it. Does this make me promiscuous? I say it's my duty to share the love.

I also got some valuable stability/control experience out of it--riding successfully with inexperienced stokers seems to have really boosted my confidence about the kind of things we'll be able to do when I hop back on with my wife soon.

I can find an alternate stoker any time I wish to. I am well know at the local center for the vision challenged. It is just off of a major local MUP.

Besides, since the stoker is in front I can't be groped and have a much better view of the stoker ;)

I say, the more people you can get interested in the joys of riding a tandem, the better. I brought my tandem to a late night bike ride last weekend without my wife (too late for her), and it was a huge hit. I rode with several different female (and one male) stokers--pretty much all the way there with one of the women, and all the way back with another, and the others while we were taking a break in between--plus the male stoker riding captain with his wife a bit. All of them loved it. Does this make me promiscuous? I say it's my duty to share the love.

I also got some valuable stability/control experience out of it--riding successfully with inexperienced stokers seems to have really boosted my confidence about the kind of things we'll be able to do when I hop back on with my wife soon.

We agree with you. But we sensed the OP was talking about a secondary stoker as opposed to a one timer or novelty/introduction deal.

I recently moved my office to my home. I am learning that my supposedly quiet neighborhood is not so quiet from 9 to 5! Time + alcohol are about all it takes. Just take care.

We agree with you. But we sensed the OP was talking about a secondary stoker as opposed to a one timer or novelty/introduction deal.

Yes its an on going deal, I have plans to ride twice this week without my wife do to her work and no sitter this weekend. The weekend ride was her idea, she even called to set it up, or to set me up? My second stoker is married and our families do things together so I don't see a problem.

The fit is close enough that I just lower or raise the seat no bar movement has been needed.

For anyone who was thinking this was behind my wifes back, even I'm not that crazy.

Yes its an on going deal, I have plans to ride twice this week without my wife do to her work and no sitter this weekend. The weekend ride was her idea, she even called to set it up, or to set me up? My second stoker is married and our families do things together so I don't see a problem.

The fit is close enough that I just lower or raise the seat no bar movement has been needed.

For anyone who was thinking this was behind my wifes back, even I'm not that crazy.Doesn't matter. Spending long periods of time alone with a beautiful, athletic, fascinating member of the opposite sex other than your wife may not be the smartest thing you ever did. And they're all beautiful and fascinating, or become so. Biking is pretty sexy and tandeming even more so.

I sent an email to Christie Brinkley, thinking the timing might be good and tandeming might help lower stress, but she has not gotten back to me yet.

Hmmm... Is this a trick question?

Doesn't matter. Spending long periods of time alone with a beautiful, athletic, fascinating member of the opposite sex other than your wife may not be the smartest thing you ever did. And they're all beautiful and fascinating, or become so. Biking is pretty sexy and tandeming even more so.

I agree that tandeming is very sexy. I enjoy riding behind my husband every time I go out. The two of us together powering a single unit can't be beat.

Doesn't matter. Spending long periods of time alone with a beautiful, athletic, fascinating member of the opposite sex other than your wife may not be the smartest thing you ever did.

If it makes you uncomfortable, don't do it. But please don't generalize.

As a professional opera singer (married to another professional singer) who spends significant amounts of time on stage getting paid to actually *kiss* attractive women who are not my wife, riding a tandem with one is no big deal at all to me. I suppose not everyone is used to that sort of thing, but do you see how ridiculous it is to generalize that extended tandem-riding is a straight path to divorce? I'm sure if you and your tandem partner were already in the market for an affair, those rides could get you there faster, but if not, what are you worried about?

I"ve begun putting my almost 10 year old son on the back as my stoker. He's quite excited about it and I think we're going to end up being a team. I also put my nephew on the back, who happens to be a Cat-1 road racer. I never knew how fast the bike could actually go!

As a professional opera singer (married to another professional singer) who spends significant amounts of time on stage getting paid to actually *kiss* attractive women who are not my wife, riding a tandem with one is no big deal at all to me.

That's what Jennifer Aniston thought (only without the singing)...

If it makes you uncomfortable, don't do it. ......, but if not, what are you worried about?

"Entre santa y santo, pared de cal y canto"

Interesting timing for this thread...

We bought our tandem from a friend b/c he hated tandeming; his g/f stoker loved it. She started stoking for his best friend because best friend's wife doesn't ride much anymore.

Fast-forward 11 months and friend's g/f is now best friend's new g/f. Left in the dust are our friend and the wife, neither of whom saw it coming.

Yes, other issues existed, but those are beside the point.

Wherever your relationship is heading, the tandem will get you there faster.

Took out a cute 26 yr old on our club ride, 40 km of city riding at night. We were doing well, final sprint to the light on Dorrego and Libertador (on the outside of the Hipodromo de Palermo), got us to only a few meters behind the two lead sprinters on singles @ 50.5 km/hr. With my official stoker we are at best 50 meters behind. Great fun, but you know what? I want my wife back from her trip, I like her breathing on my back.

"Entre santa y santo, pared de cal y canto"

Good one!

I just wish someone here could give me the successful recipe on how to get my wife to enjoy tandem riding to start with. I have led a very active life from childhood to now, I'm 47, my wife has never been sporty, but will occassionely ride solo with me, she dislikes the tandem. Maybe I should sell it? :cry: or I shouldn't have bought it in the first place?

I just wish someone here could give me the successful recipe on how to get my wife to enjoy tandem riding to start with. I have led a very active life from childhood to now, I'm 47, my wife has never been sporty, but will occassionely ride solo with me, she dislikes the tandem. Maybe I should sell it? :cry: or I shouldn't have bought it in the first place?

Tough situation you're in...maybe talk to her about riding tandem and possibly selling it before actually doing so? At least she rides with you; maybe you could build on that.

Cgallagh and I went through a number of sports (bikes, roller blades, kayaks, hang gliding, etc.) before we got the tandem.

I hope you and your wife find an activity and an intensity that you both can enjoy.

I just wish someone here could give me the successful recipe on how to get my wife to enjoy tandem riding to start with. I have led a very active life from childhood to now, I'm 47, my wife has never been sporty, but will occassionely ride solo with me, she dislikes the tandem. Maybe I should sell it? :cry: or I shouldn't have bought it in the first place?

Start with short rides, go get a coffee and back, no cycling clothes, not cycling shoes, go with what you have on. Do what she likes, trade a ride for something she likes...Don't look at it as sport think of it as pleasant transport. Maybe you have the wrong bike, check out tis one:

http://www.bikeforums.net/showthread.php?t=445535

I tell my wife that she is better off that I like to spend money on tandems rather than on two seater convertibles, we get the same looks as if we were on a convertible, but the women are less willing to hop on if I ever where to ride it single.

Hope some of this helps.

One of the things that helped me was that my captain/sweetie understands that I don't want to *work* when I'm on the bike. I was willing to get on and toodle around initially - ride up to Dunkin Donuts and things like that. It helps that we're on bike paths for the most part as well - I would NOT do well on the street. I'm not a strong rider - I have no desire to be in control of things, so it works well for me to just pedal along. And we've gone from starting like that to commuting 3 days/week or so in to work. But I have complete faith in his ability to control the bike and we communicate really well too. He lets me know about every bump, hill, turn, etc. And I no longer scream when we go down a hill. Progress. But initially, sure, it was scary as all get out and I let him know about it. He adjusted way down and we've increased capacity gradually. Is this a great workout for him? Hardly. (although he does have more work to do since I don't match his level of input...) But we enjoy being together and outside of our first flat this weekend an hour and a half from home, we've done fine.