Tandem Cycling - How do you "train" a stoker to not be scared?

How does one "train" a stoker? Especially one who is frightened out of her wits when the bike leans even a little?

My 10-yr-old son loves to be stoker. Works out OK, except he tends to lean this way and that way randomly. Makes the bike quite a handful when I'm not in the drops. But we survive.

But my wife grew up in China, riding various clunky single-seat bikes. She consented to ride the back of the tandem, ONE time. I kept the speed low and gentle, and the scenery familiar. When we went around a gentle curve, I could hear her whine and groan, and she said she was very scared. She also locks a leg on the pedal sometimes, which tightens the turn abruptly and does very little for her peace of mind.

How does one "train" a frightened stoker? She is obviously ill at ease since she has no steering or balancing control, stoker handlebars are rigidly fixed of course. She's not used to that on a bike, and reacts all the wrong ways.

I could use some advice... if I can ever get her back on the bike again!

Get her a single with a position similar to that of her stoker compartment? Have her ride singles with you for a while, then try the tandem again. Maybe ride the singles on a bike path at first, so no car fear or chance of a serious accident. My stoker and I rode singles for several years before we tried tandeming.

CFB, she and I have ridden singles together a fair amount, she's quite used to them and has no problem. But as soon as we go around even one corner on the tandem, and she feels the stoker handlebar NOT moving where she tries to tell it, panic sets in.

Telling her to relax and go along for the ride, just doesn't cut it. Slight language gap, but it's more the different feel of a stoker bar, I think.

I'd sure like to find a cure, but no luck so far.

You must earn their trust and confidence...

Talk about riding before you ride.... (ask her if there's anything that you could do to make her feel more comfortable)... while you're riding (tell her to share her thoughts and feelings and keep the dialog going)... and then after you ride (what was better or worse today).

Remember, whenever someone is clearly facing an uphill challenge when trying to come up the learning curve for something new it needs to be approached as a learning experience. Early bad experiences tend to handicap many newbies who haven't set clear goals and boundaries for their early tandeming experiences.

Some wanna-be captains go out and rip the legs off their would-be stokers when they fail to appreciate their different performance levels and experience. Your situation could be equally as terminal if your wife's mental image of cycling is a sedate and leisurely ride along a bike path and you've got her out on public roads.

First of all, how tall is she, and most importantly how tall are her legs? If she is short with short legs and has been used to cycling at a very low cadence, you'll need to ease her up into higher cadences.

Second of all, try to make the experience as non-threatening as possible. Amongst possibilities:
– Coast in turns, with the inside pedal up; slow down and lean your body, so that your bike and stoker stay more upright.
– Ride in a straight line.
– Stay away from cars, trees, rocks and other obstacles. By that I don't mean to ride only in the middle of an empty baseball field, but rather to stay 1-2 m away from these obstacles. They are always more frightening when seen from the back seat.
– Take downhills slowly.

Tell her to close her eyes. It worked for me when I stoked...

I do a variety of things and consider it progress to no longer scream on hills or curves. That doesn't keep me from reminding my captain to slow down (he never brakes early enough or far enough for me). And I have confidence in my captain too. But the narrow things we have to go through - I close my eyes...
Shelly

Little,

My late wife rode on the back of my motorcycles, all over the Western US, at some insane speeds, and in ridiculous weather, and loved it. We toured thousands of miles every year. But she freaked out first time on a tandem. We got less than a block from home and she walked back to the house. I was considerate, rode slowly, under control, but it just freaked her out. Go figure. She never got back on it either. LOL

Sometimes it's best for a stoker not to be a rider. I'm fortunate that my fiance, also Chinese, hates riding a single, but is very comfortable on the tandem. I asked her about it, and she says it's trust...she has seen me ride and knows I have alot of experiance on two wheels. Plus, she's crashed while riding together, and I haven't. That, probably has more to do with it than anything else.

Try letting her Captain? Might be worth a try. Good luck.

Kevin

Xanax and clip in pedals?

I tell folks who are thinking tandeming might be for them is to set it up so the captain is the less daring rider.

You must earn their trust and confidence...


A few drinks couldn't hurt either.;)
For her not you.:D

Xanax and clip in pedals?

I tell folks who are thinking tandeming might be for them is to set it up so the captain is the less daring rider.

I was going to say Klonipin...slower onset, longer duration of action. Put it in her cereal, and she won't even know you drugged her.

I have known only two, maybe three women that could even ride a single in my long life. Of them, exactly zero had any interest in being on the back of a tandem, or at the front of one for that matter. In the twilight of my life I met 'J'. Supremely fit from swimming and running (treadmill) but unable to ride a bike alone (blind). 40 mph downhills don't faze her but any amount of traffic scares her silly. In NYC and nearby NJ traffic is a way of life and cleaning and jerking a 60lb (later 40lb) tandem over subway turnstiles to get to the park instead of simply riding there got old fast. She could not be 'trained' to trust, her fear went too deep. I did what any considerate, loving partner would do in my situation and moved us to Portland, OR. She loves how respectful the drivers are compared to Brooklyn. We have put more miles on the tandem in two months of being here than in two years in NYC. My point: the op may never get his sweetie to love tandeming. At least she can ride and will ride a single. Failing that the chemical solutions suggested though offered tongue in cheek.. ...

H

I'll pass on the advice/lecture the tandem shop owner gave me and my wife when we got our first tandem.
"If you want a riding partner for a long time, do the following. Tell her when you are shifting. Tell her when you are braking. Ask her if you are going too fast, following someone too close, etc, and respond accordingly. Give her a crotch break all the time. Have a destination in mind when you start out (coffee shop, etc). Gradually extend the distances."
It worked for us. My wife is very comfortable, even at 60+mph (if the road is clear and smooth)
Cheers

Have your wife let go of the handlebars . . .that's right . . . and hold you, the pilot, by the hips.
Good communication will also help: shifting, braking, coasting, pedal, turning, stopping.slowing, bump all come to mind.