Foo - The What Not To Do Thread ...

Do not leave an overripe banananana in your backpack all day and then unzip it 45 min. before you leave, expect a swarm of fruitflys to explode out of the pocket. :( You should see where I sit - I think there's about 30 of the buggers on my screen this moment.

Do not leave a largemouth bass in a cooler in the trunk of a car in Texas in summer for a week.

Don't go to a gas station and ask the clerk to appraise your handgun.

Do not leave your very gross smelly cycling shorts even close to the bed, let alone your g/f's pillow. She will think it was intentional and then place it in your pillowcase...:twitchy:

Is handgun some sort of euphemism?

Do not leave your very gross smelly cycling shorts even close to the bed, let alone your g/f's pillow. She will think it was intentional and then place it in your pillowcase...:twitchy:

hehehe

Is handgun some sort of euphemism?

no, real gun. Gas station attendants clearly don't know that value of a gun and will typically offer what ever they have in the draw at the time.

Do not leave wine in your car in the middle of winter in Alaska. It will explode and is damn difficult to clean off the floor, the windows, the seats, and the ceiling.

^^Oh god that is such a good point! My mom used to leave her white chardonnay bottles in the freezer by accident. I recall eating many a wine soaked ice cream sandwiches. Ah...youth...

Do not leave wine in your car in the middle of winter in Alaska. It will explode and is damn difficult to clean off the floor, the windows, the seats, and the ceiling.

if you have any wine, drink it!
I had to pour away a couple of half finished bottles a while ago as the only thing it was good for was 30 pounds of salad.
....and we call ourselves university students :(

you know :(

Do not leave beer in your friend's freezer overnight to "cool it off for a minute"

Do not participate in the CruiseAthong (http://www.cruiseathong.com/)with feet as white as Casper wearing thong sandals and no sunscreen...believe me. Ouch.

Don't ever try to wear a dress made of saran wrap.

do not pull someone's finger when they ask you to.

Don't drink old milk. Your stomach will not like you.

Do not eat 1 minute before you set off on a ride. At least take a tums if you do so. burp..

Do not eat 1 minute before you set off on a ride. At least take a tums if you do so. burp..

Don't drain a Naglene bottle full of water right before a ride, either. That was unpleasant...

Do not ever buy this pattern:

http://pzrservices.typepad.com/vintageadvertising/images/2007/11/07/mc_hammer_pants.jpg

Don't be a meanie stinky doody head

don't take a job where an engineer will be your boss

When you are running then suddenly fall, don't use your face to stop.

Do not try to pole vault while pregnant.

Do not throw chain lube in your backpack and expect it to stay in the bottle...

Do not leave an open can of soft drink on the picnic table during high summer.

During a winter bike commute, do not leave your balaclava on when popping in to the bank.

Don't leave a banana on top of a camera in a pannier on a long hot ride.

Don't ever assume no strings attached, they may just be hard to see.

Don't ever trust what Foosters have written :p

Do not sleep with a large dog if you are prone to any condition that could suddenly wake and scare the dog (e.g. massive leg cramps)...

Don't masturbate near a playful kitten.

Do not leave wine in your car in the middle of winter in Alaska. It will explode and is damn difficult to clean off the floor, the windows, the seats, and the ceiling.

On my first date (hundreds of years ago in Peace River, Alberta, right next to the arctic
circle in the middle of the winter) the damn beer froze in the trunk of the car, so we
opened all the bottles, turned them upside down in glasses, and about half of each beer
dripped into each glass (as we eagerly waited and downed it). We didn't finish and it was
only the next morning when the other half of the beer, only pure water was in the glasses.
Then I realized the alcohol and the flavor had melted first. Of course the water got dumped.
But it was a fun time.

Don't ever assume no strings attached, they may just be hard to see.

I really like that, goes into the quotes doc.
thanks and best wishes, lloyd

Don't ride with broken bar tape. It sucks.

Forgot:

Don't leave dark chocolate in your bookbag, in the same vicinity as your Bluetooth headset and other high-priced electronic items. The result may disappoint you.

Do not place two unwrapped 24 oz cans of beer in the same pannier as your cell phone, then ride up a steep, bumpy logging road.

Do not, under any circumstances, absolutely, positively make sure you do not arghhhhhh.............

Don't try to squeeze your oversized rear between two wooden pallets. Unless you want splinters the size of toothpicks. :(

Don't try to squeeze your oversized rear between two wooden pallets. Unless you want splinters the size of toothpicks. :(

Ouch, that sounds painful. Who do you know that that happened to? :)

Someone who was running from an out-of-control Big Joe. :cry:

If over 40, do not trust a fart.

Do not leave your very gross smelly cycling shorts even close to the bed, let alone your g/f's pillow. She will think it was intentional and then place it in your pillowcase...:twitchy:

Since farting while her head is under the covers is called a 'Dutch Oven', would this (shorts on the pillow) be a Dutch Frying Pan?

Don't try to squeeze your oversized rear between two wooden pallets. Unless you want splinters the size of toothpicks. :(

Please send my condolences to your co-worker... that must have been painful.

when you are on your bicycle, do not draft a garbage truck.

when you are on your bicycle, do not draft a garbage truck.

Ok, I don't understand this one. Except for maybe a large tractor-trailer, that ould be the best thing to draft off of, right?

Please send my condolences to your co-worker... that must have been painful.

It was VERY painful!! And I the bad part was, because I was impaled, my pants were "nailed" to my butt!! :cry:



But yeah. I'll tell her. Thanks.:notamused:

Ok, I don't understand this one. Except for maybe a large tractor-trailer, that ould be the best thing to draft off of, right?

Because of the funkified stank, UA. :rolleyes:*flicks UA in forehead*

Do not sleep with a large dog if you are prone to any condition that could suddenly wake and scare the dog (e.g. massive leg cramps)...


:lol:

That sounds a little scary !

Ok, I don't understand this one. Except for maybe a large tractor-trailer, that ould be the best thing to draft off of, right?
i ended up behind one the other day.
could not breathe for about 1 mile.

Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line. ...