Air Travel

[TrekRider]

Bert and George, two baggage handlers at Atlanta's airport were getting off work and decided to get a beer or two. The only problem was both were flat broke.

Bert had the idea of drinking jet fuel. He had heard it tasted great, gave you a buzz, and you had no hangover.

So they stole a gallon and drank it all. The next morning, Bert called George and asked how it was he felt. George said he felt great, no hangover, no upset stomach, just great.

Bert then asked "Have your broken wind yet?" George admitted he had not.

Bert then said "I would be careful."

George asked why, and Bert said "Because I'm in Phoenix."

[james Haury]

I feel sorry for whoever was behind him when he broke wind. As a former airport mail handler I have seen videos illustrating what happens when you get behind a running jet engine.Great Joke.

[Bobatin]

No wonder my bags were lost / sent to the other side of the country :D

[TrekRider]

Speaking of flatulence -

Ma Kettle bought a new, very powerful and highly inflammable cleaning fluid. She cleaned everything on the farm within an inch of its life. When she was finished, there was about an ounce or two left. She didn't want to keep it around, so she dumped it in the outhouse.

Later Pa went down for his evening constitutional, paper and corn-cob pipe in hand. He settled in, opened the paper, then struck a match to light his pipe. There was a huge explosion. The outhouse was completely destroyed.

When they finally found Pa Kettle, it was three wheat fields away. He was laying near an irrigation ditch. When they asked him if he was hurt, he said "No, but if I had cut one that in the house, Ma'd have killed me!"