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01-29-04, 04:50 AM
50°F (10°C)- New Yorkers turn on the heat. Chicagoans plant gardens.
40°F (4°C)- Californians shiver uncontrollably. Chicagoans sunbathe.
35°F (2°C)- Italian cars won't start. Chicagoans drive with the windows down.
32°F (0°C)- Distilled water freezes. Chicagoans water gets thicker.
20°F (-7°C)- Floridians wear coats, gloves & wool hats. Chicagoans throw on a T-shirt.
15°F (-9°C)- Californians begin to evacuate the state. Chicagoans go swimming.
0°F (-18°C)- New York landlords finally turn up the heat. Chicagoans have the last cookout before it gets cold.
-10°F (-23°C)- People in Miami cease to exist. Chicagoans lick flagpoles.
-20°F (-29°C)- Californians fly away to Mexico. Chicagoans throw on a lightweight jacket.
-40°F (-40°C)- Hollywood disintegrates. Chicagoans rent videos.
-60°F (-51°C)- Mt. St. Helen's freezes. Chicago Girl Scouts begin selling cookies door to door.
-80°F (-62°C)- Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic. Chicago Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough.
-100°F (-73°C)- Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Chicagoans pull down their earflaps.
-173°F (-114°C)- Ethyl alcohol freezes. Chicagoans get frustrated when they can't thaw their kegs.
-297°F (-183°C)- Microbial life survives on dairy products. Illinois cows complain of farmers with cold hands.
-460°F (-273°C)- ALL atomic motion stops. Chicagoans start saying "Cold 'nuff for ya?"
-500°F (-296°C)- Hell freezes over. The Chicago Cubs win the World Series.
40°F (4°C)- Californians shiver uncontrollably. Chicagoans sunbathe.
35°F (2°C)- Italian cars won't start. Chicagoans drive with the windows down.
32°F (0°C)- Distilled water freezes. Chicagoans water gets thicker.
20°F (-7°C)- Floridians wear coats, gloves & wool hats. Chicagoans throw on a T-shirt.
15°F (-9°C)- Californians begin to evacuate the state. Chicagoans go swimming.
0°F (-18°C)- New York landlords finally turn up the heat. Chicagoans have the last cookout before it gets cold.
-10°F (-23°C)- People in Miami cease to exist. Chicagoans lick flagpoles.
-20°F (-29°C)- Californians fly away to Mexico. Chicagoans throw on a lightweight jacket.
-40°F (-40°C)- Hollywood disintegrates. Chicagoans rent videos.
-60°F (-51°C)- Mt. St. Helen's freezes. Chicago Girl Scouts begin selling cookies door to door.
-80°F (-62°C)- Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic. Chicago Boy Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough.
-100°F (-73°C)- Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Chicagoans pull down their earflaps.
-173°F (-114°C)- Ethyl alcohol freezes. Chicagoans get frustrated when they can't thaw their kegs.
-297°F (-183°C)- Microbial life survives on dairy products. Illinois cows complain of farmers with cold hands.
-460°F (-273°C)- ALL atomic motion stops. Chicagoans start saying "Cold 'nuff for ya?"
-500°F (-296°C)- Hell freezes over. The Chicago Cubs win the World Series.