Foo - If a friend had a problem that they won't admit to, would you tell them?

My gf and I have this friend who seems to be having trouble holding on to a guy. Which is really not my problem but since she cares, I'm obligated to care. We both know what this girl's problem is. She has a really picky personality, gets too emotional, freaks out over the tiniest thing, and doesn't enjoy doing anything he likes.

Would you tell her about it, hope she changes, or leave her in the dark and let her crash and burn (or find some loser willing to put up with her).

You shut the hell up, get your girl to tell her instead.
No one freaks out on you for being a jerk, and if she freaks on your girl friend, you get to play the shining knight.

might just be my personality, but I'd flat out tell her what she's doing wrong or tell her to hop ship.

You shut the hell up, get your girl to tell her instead.
No one freaks out on you for being a jerk, and if she freaks on your girl friend, you get to play the shining knight.

+1

Apparently this isn't AllenG's first milkshake...

You shut the hell up, get your girl to tell her instead.
No one freaks out on you for being a jerk, and if she freaks on your girl friend, you get to play the shining knight.

Yup. When you are a man, stay out of women's problems. Let the women deal with it.

It's funny you guys bring that up because um... my gf's on vacation... and I was kinda getting tired of this girl's whining (and her subsequently whining that she's not whining) and told her straight up what her problem was... and um, she started crying?? Which for a 27 year old, is kind of weird, but... I'm f***ed?

Dumbass!

... and um, she started crying?? Which for a 27 year old, is kind of weird, but... I'm f***ed?

Crying on your shoulder while your girl is on vacation? Yep, the intention here is for you to be f***ed, one way or the other.

Dumbass!

So you're saying that wasn't my finest moment of diplomacy?


Crying on your shoulder while your girl is on vacation? Yep, the intention here is for you to be f***ed, one way or the other.

It was more of a "oh my god how could you say things like that? why is this happening to me? you're a horrible b*stard! oh mi gawd!!!". Doohhh....

You're supposed to either make excuses as to why you can't see her, or just listen to her whine, nod your head and smile...

I have a couple of girl friends that I wouldn't hesitate to be honest with, but they are some of my best friends and would look to me for answers rather than just someone to whine to. This chick wanted an ear, not a solution...

i'd tell her. no sense in wasting all this thought on a wierd woman.

Well, I knew better than to expect tact from you, but the deed is done, and your intentions were good. You told her once, and that's enough. Just let it go unless she brings it up again - in which case you can always say: "well that's what I thought then, but I'm not so sure now."

You're supposed to either make excuses as to why you can't see her, or just listen to her whine, nod your head and smile...

I have a couple of girl friends that I wouldn't hesitate to be honest with, but they are some of my best friends and would look to me for answers rather than just someone to whine to. This chick wanted an ear, not a solution...

So I
http://mypetjawa.mu.nu/archives/fail.jpg
?

Well, I knew better than to expect tact from you.

What the hell... I'm tactful!

What the hell... I'm tactful!

Maybe you are, but that avatar picture is hard to shake from the memory banks. :lol:

^ :lol:

If you too are concerned about her then I would say have your gf approach her about it. I would say it would be easier from one girl to another. They can have "girl talk".

^ :lol:

If you too are concerned about her then I would say have your gf approach her about it. I would say it would be easier from one girl to another. They can have "girl talk".

I thought it would be a good idea to open up a can o'
http://members.cox.net/smbump/OU/WhupAss.jpg

she is unbearable bore and burden

run away, or have a treesome

You're supposed to either make excuses as to why you can't see her, or just listen to her whine, nod your head and smile...

I have a couple of girl friends that I wouldn't hesitate to be honest with, but they are some of my best friends and would look to me for answers rather than just someone to whine to. This chick wanted an ear, not a solution...

Yesterday you are on the ledge. Today your doctor phil.

Hey, I'm good at giving other people advice...It just takes awhile for my brain to deal with my own crap :p

From how you explain her, she sounds like she isn't gonna be changing anytime soon. Being a Biach isn't a problem like drugs or drink. When I read the title , I thought thas where it was going. Telling her she's a see u next tuesday isn't going to help either of you. Sounds like it's too late for that advise. Does she live with you guys. Why is she speaking to you when your girl's away. You didn't make it sound like you two were close.

Avoid her till your old lady gets back.

or have a treesome

Out of the question, she doesn't even like having the lights on when she's doing it.

Well since you told her once, I would do what the others say and just drop it. If she comes at you about it again, perhaps you could use that opportunity to say something like "... this is exactly what I was talking about!"

But, I would seriously dodge her until the girlfriend gets back and/or is apprised of the situation, lest she accuse you of picking on her and your girl defends her friend and gets mad at you in the process. Depends on how close THEY are, and all that other complex crap.

My gf and I have this friend who seems to be having trouble holding on to a guy. Which is really not my problem but since she cares, I'm obligated to care. We both know what this girl's problem is. She has a really picky personality, gets too emotional, freaks out over the tiniest thing, and doesn't enjoy doing anything he likes.

Would you tell her about it, hope she changes, or leave her in the dark and let her crash and burn (or find some loser willing to put up with her).

As someone with a male reproductive organ, you want to be as far away from this as you can possibly be. Do NOT get yourself involved in this, trust me. This girl sounds exactly like my ex-fiancée.

You are obligated to care, but you are not obligated to get involved. Just don't do it.

edit: I see now that it is too late. Good luck, man...

This girl needs some of this.
http://www.bikeforums.net/showpost.php?p=7275770&postcount=1

Ooooh yeah!

This girl needs some of this.
http://www.bikeforums.net/showpost.php?p=7275770&postcount=1

Ooooh yeah!

:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

. I'm f***ed?

No, actually, not for quite some time to come. :lol:

Girls are like attorneys. A smart man doesn't talk to attorneys, his attorney talks to attorneys. Same with wife and her friends. If she arrives on your doorstep again, safely putter around in the garage or something until the danger has passed.

A smart man doesn't talk to attorneys, his attorney talk to attorneys. Same with wife and her friends.
damn thats good.

It's possible that she suffers from ADHD, perhaps in combination with mild Asperger's. I'd suggest to her to read about these disorders and go see a psychiatrist to sort things out. Therapy and/or medication could help her, if she indeed does have either or both of these disorders.

If she arrives on your doorstep again, safely putter around in the garage or something until the danger has passed.

good advice.

Is it wrong that I laughed the entire way through this thread?

Good job svloid! You fell into one of the classic blunders, the first being never get involved with a land war in Asia but only slightly lesser known is this: never tell an effed up chick she's effed up. That only spoils her fantasy and makes you the villain. They enjoy the drama, the 'oh why me?' cries, the constant searching for the wrong. Nothing you say will change this.

She is trying to sleep with you, Svloid.
It's all a ploy, your girl is out of town-->she bursts into tears-->you show sympathy-->sex ensues.

She is trying to sleep with you, Svloid.
It's all a ploy, your girl is out of town-->she bursts into tears-->you show sympathy-->sex ensues.

We can only hope! :D

Telling her what the problem is (from your vantage point) will NOT change anything... those particular patterns are ones she has spent a long time building, and she's getting more out of keeping the whiny/needy patterns than she would (or thinks she would) out of changing. Someone telling her she has a problem? She'll interpret that as unfair and just another example of how nothing goes right for her.

Until SHE figures out that things are within her own power to change, and then decides to change them, you'll be beating your head against a particularly unpleasant brick wall.

(I have way too many acquaintances like this. They have stopped telling me about it though because all I ever do is nod and say, "wow, that sounds really hard. So what is your plan?"" and then if they insist on continuing in the "poor me, everything sucks" mode, I give them a counsellor's number. I'm not qualified yet, and when I am, I'm not counselling for free. My own close friends and family are different of course - it's not that I am a completely heartless person, I just can't expend that much emotional energy on people I don't know that well and who only ever contact me to whine.)

It's funny you guys bring that up because um... my gf's on vacation... and I was kinda getting tired of this girl's whining (and her subsequently whining that she's not whining) and told her straight up what her problem was... and um, she started crying?? Which for a 27 year old, is kind of weird, but... I'm f***ed?

What the **** were you thinking?

You fell into one of the classic blunders, the first being never get involved with a land war in Asia but only slightly lesser known is this: never tell an effed up chick she's effed up. That only spoils her fantasy and makes you the villain. They enjoy the drama, the 'oh why me?' cries, the constant searching for the wrong. Nothing you say will change this.
Listen to Vizzini

Now you've gone and tracked it all over the carpet too, you fool!

It's funny you guys bring that up because um... my gf's on vacation... and I was kinda getting tired of this girl's whining (and her subsequently whining that she's not whining) and told her straight up what her problem was... and um, she started crying?? Which for a 27 year old, is kind of weird, but... I'm f***ed?

http://www.dobossy.com/pb_forehead.jpg

DOH!

Oooohh, I'm gonna have to agree with a few others, tellin her was a bad move. Your girl will be pissed you pissed off her friend, and then no sex for you. I never get involved with any of my GF's friends problems. What she's really doing is using you to listen to the ***** her BF won't. You have to sit back, and when your GF comes to you and complains, the only words that you utter are " uhhu" and " i'm sorry that happened to her". Otherwise, The ark opens indiana jones style and everyone buys a farm, right then and there.

Now you've gone and tracked it all over the carpet too, you fool!

That's some funny ***** right there.......:roflmao2:

What the hell are you doing alone with your girlfriend's crazy friend! That can only lead to sex you're gonna regret. Keep yourself busy and unavailable for consultation until well after your girlfriend returns to comfort her crazy friend.

If you get any heat from your GF about this when she gets back; umm, well, how attached are you to your GF? My GF and later wife, would never have made friends with a flake like that in the first place.

It's possible that she suffers from ADHD, perhaps in combination with mild Asperger's. I'd suggest to her to read about these disorders and go see a psychiatrist to sort things out. Therapy and/or medication could help her, if she indeed does have either or both of these disorders.

Assburger... that's gold!


She is trying to sleep with you, Svloid.
It's all a ploy, your girl is out of town-->she bursts into tears-->you show sympathy-->sex ensues.

Well I got to step 2, partial success?

My advice...Get on yer Bike and ride,ride like the wind,fast and far,for when this s**t hits the fan its gonna splatter everywhere!!!

When women tell you something, they want you to listen, not porpose a solution. Plain and simple. In this case there might be a little making with the sexes too.

Oooohh, I'm gonna have to agree with a few others, tellin her was a bad move. Your girl will be pissed you pissed off her friend, and then no sex for you. I never get involved with any of my GF's friends problems. What she's really doing is using you to listen to the ***** her BF won't. You have to sit back, and when your GF comes to you and complains, the only words that you utter are " uhhu" and " i'm sorry that happened to her". Otherwise, The ark opens indiana jones style and everyone buys a farm, right then and there.


Too true, and who wants their face to melt off and their eyeballs to fall out?

flat out tell her.

You screwed the pooch on this already. Your only real option now is to start thinking of excuses for the GF. Maybe finding some temporary/permanent living arrangements wouldn't be a bad idea either.

You screwed the pooch on this already. Your only real option now is to start thinking of excuses for the GF. Maybe finding some temporary/permanent living arrangements wouldn't be a bad idea either.

I'm sure there will be some serious penance involved. I'll bet the girlfriend makes him match up psychogirl with one of his friends or relatives. :lol:

Typical red blooded American girl, who will do anything, for 50 bucks.