Fifty Plus (50+) - 50+ers and Hugs

Don't get me wrong...I love hugs but I am curious, when did all this hugging business start? Almost all my life no one hugged each other unless it was mothers hugging small children. Women sometimes hugged each other under certain circumstances. Men (gasp) never hugged each other lest they be arrested by the homophobe police. Men only hugged women if they were married to them or in a relationship with them.

Back in the 60's we had something like this going on briefly, but it was limited mostly to strung out hippies. The general public was way too uptight to ever hug another person and sneered at anyone who did.

Nowadays you see professional athletes hugging, politicians hugging, same sex/opposite sex, doesn't matter. My friends all hug each other, including me, and I'm lovin' it.


Your comments? And uh...:hug:

Keep away from me! I sometimes hug members of my family and that is pretty much it. As my family consists of my wife and 5 daughters, I honestly cannot remember having hugged a man in my entire life. Nor a non-family member woman.

When I was young, my grandmother used to complain that I didn't hug her.

Just not a hugger, I guess.

Hugging is pretty much regional I think. It is also a new evangelical movement. Men who are good friends and evangelical and secure in their masculinity may and often do hug both other men and women. People we see in manly sports like football and basketball, evangelical or not, and even in the Olympics seem to feel confident with hugging and not becoming romantically involved. I have even seen boxers and extreme fighters hug after a fight. It is no big thing. My son is 6’1” and is now serving in Iraq, for the second time. I am more than proud to hug him even in public.

However the new hug between men seems to be holding on to each other’s right hand as you bump your shoulders into each other. That seems to be less regional and practiced by more people evangelical or not. Just an observation.

Hugging has been pretty much normal activity as long as I can remember. People around here do a lot of hugging. I'll often greet a friend I haven't seen for a while with a hug. It's just a friendly thing to do.

Mostly I prefer to hug ladies, but if something really important happens, like Georgia clenching an SEC East championship by beating Auburn, I'll give a big ol' hug to anyone around. :)

Hugging has been pretty much normal activity as long as I can remember. People around here do a lot of hugging. I'll often greet a friend I haven't seen for a while with a hug. It's just a friendly thing to do.

Mostly I prefer to hug ladies, but if something really important happens, like Georgia clenching an SEC East championship by beating Auburn, I'll give a big ol' hug to anyone around. :)

I agree it is cultural I think. It is common practice among the people I know whatever the gender.

I agree it is cultural I think. It is common practice among the people I know whatever the gender.


I think it's even more than that (cultural). I think it has to do with families. Some families hug, some don't. I (raised as a non-hugger) married into a family of huggers. Talk about stressful! :)

Interesting topic, but don't we need to discuss something of greater importance ... like pie? :lol:

Huggers, like hand shakers, have a tendency to want to demonstrate a certain level of strength. I'm with Tom...........step away from the hug..........I've got a bad L4/L5.

I object to the proselytizing.

Huggers seem to have this thing about shameing others into their cult. I prefer to reserve my hugs for people with whom I'm genuinely close - mostly immediate family.

I think that over use of such token of affection, like hugging, renders them meaningless. If you get a voluntary hug from me you can rest assured that it came from my heart.

Hugging is God given....therefore good!

I'm a hugger.....it validates us as human beings. It comforts, it congratulates, it's intimacy without confusing sexual orientation or preference. I think that those who cannot/will not hug get a bad rap as being homophobic or lacking in humanity somehow. No one should be shamed into something they are not comfortable with. Those folks just need more space..........and a big hug!

Hugging is God given....therefore good!

I'm a hugger.....it validates us as human beings. It comforts, it congratulates, it's intimacy without confusing sexual orientation or preference. I think that those who cannot/will not hug get a bad rap as being homophobic or lacking in humanity somehow. No one should be shamed into something they are not comfortable with. Those folks just need more space..........and a big hug!

That's my problem..............I don't want a hug................so somebody's going to hug me untill feel different about it????????????????????????????

I hug back. That is, I rarely start the hug, but will respond in kind. I believe it is cultural in nature (which includes the influence of one's family), and that culture shifts and changes. Information is one of the key elements in any cultural change. And in today's world we get instant information. Consider that in the 19th Century it would be close to three months before you might learn that those in the royal court were now greeting each other with a hug. Today this information is instantly available.

What I find interesting is the number of kisses I get with hugs and when the relationships shift enough to move into the realm. I'm also seeing more men kissing other men.... not in the romantic vein, but in the European "on the side of the cheek" kind of thing.

That's my problem..............I don't want a hug................so somebody's going to hug me untill feel different about it????????????????????????????

Of course not......hugs are freely given if wanted.........to force a hug on someone would be contrary to the whole "Philosophy of Hugging"!

Don't get me wrong...I love hugs but I am curious, when did all this hugging business start? Almost all my life no one hugged each other unless it was mothers hugging small children. Women sometimes hugged each other under certain circumstances. Men (gasp) never hugged each other lest they be arrested by the homophobe police. Men only hugged women if they were married to them or in a relationship with them.

Back in the 60's we had something like this going on briefly, but it was limited mostly to strung out hippies. The general public was way too uptight to ever hug another person and sneered at anyone who did.

Nowadays you see professional athletes hugging, politicians hugging, same sex/opposite sex, doesn't matter. My friends all hug each other, including me, and I'm lovin' it.


Your comments? And uh...:hug:

It's really been going on for a while:

http://i29.photobucket.com/albums/c282/panhead74/richard-nixon-sammy-davis-jr.jpg

Hippies? Candidates for arrest by homophobe police? Draw your own conclusions :)

BTW - not much of a hugger myself, either. I get uncomfortable hugging my MOM fer cryin' out loud (she's almost ninety so I DO hug her...but it gives me the creeps)

About the only thing that I hugged and really meant it was a can of beer.:D

About the only thing that I hugged and really meant it was a can of beer.:D
:roflmao2::roflmao2::roflmao2::roflmao2:

But seriously, there have been some very interesting responses so far.

My problem with this whole thing is knowing when to hug and when not to hug. It's often just not clear. With guys I'll pretty much always just shake hands, but with women I have to calculate how long I've known them, etc etc. It's a mess.

Hugging is fine and informal. Hand shaking is formal.
Born in Europe, it's not unsusual for friends to kiss on cheek, male or female.
A cultural and/or emotional expression of friendship.

i gets lots of hugs 'cause the wife unit's family is loving and embracing (no one on my side of the family except for a sister)...

hugs = good
groping = bad

:-)

I don't know but any woman that wants a hug can just ask and I'm there!

Hugs RULE!

Don't get me wrong...I love hugs but I am curious, when did all this hugging business start? Almost all my life no one hugged each other unless it was mothers hugging small children. Women sometimes hugged each other under certain circumstances. Men (gasp) never hugged each other lest they be arrested by the homophobe police. Men only hugged women if they were married to them or in a relationship with them.

Back in the 60's we had something like this going on briefly, but it was limited mostly to strung out hippies. The general public was way too uptight to ever hug another person and sneered at anyone who did.

Nowadays you see professional athletes hugging, politicians hugging, same sex/opposite sex, doesn't matter. My friends all hug each other, including me, and I'm lovin' it.


Your comments? And uh...:hug:

I'm a 57 year old southerner, who grew up in a working class neighborhood in Atlanta, to a poor but well fed and nurturing family. Hugs were not something which was done, although we really loved each other, and consequently the distance around me which therapists seem to call "social space" extends about five feet out in all directions.

But my late wife and all her friends were huggers, and my fiance and her friends are too. And I go to a church where the younger folks seem to hug. So I adapted. I just have to force a benign grin on my face, turn off my fight or flight impulses, and tell myself "these people are just trying to be warm and friendly, and aren't trying to steal my wallet".

It works, and none of them have used the proximity to stab me yet :)

...It works, and none of them have used the proximity to stab me yet :)

Yeah but you still check for your wallet, don't you? :)

I don't know but any woman that wants a hug can just ask and I'm there!

Hugs RULE!

I was gonna say, it's all about the babes. Huggin' the babes.

hugging big breasted women works for me!

:D:D

hugging big breasted women works for me!

:D:D

:notamused: I guess some never leave Jr. High.

I like to hug and touch but if I sense someone does not, then I don't.

Group hug!!!!!!!!!!!!

What does hugging have to do with (white) bikes?

What does hugging have to do with (white) bikes?

I find the connection to be obvious.

Have You hugged your bike today?

I object to the proselytizing.

Huggers seem to have this thing about shameing others into their cult. I prefer to reserve my hugs for people with whom I'm genuinely close - mostly immediate family.

I think that over use of such token of affection, like hugging, renders them meaningless. If you get a voluntary hug from me you can rest assured that it came from my heart.

My feelings exactly. I especially don't like it when someone I really don't feel that close to, hugs me and gives me that double slap on the back like they're trying to burp a baby. I guess the slap on the back is the "man hug."

There's definitely a cultural component to this, I think. My grandfather was born in Italy and he hugged and kissed my father every time they said goodbye--and they saw each other almost every day. My father always kissed me goodbye, in that European way, as well. But when I got to be about 14, I told him I didn't want to do that anymore. I can still remember--it really hurt his feelings.

I hug my son (and he's 6'4 and a member of a somewhat notorious cycling club..not bicycling )
I hug cute females (especially in the 19-30 age group:o)
I hug older ladies..(just cause it's a warm fuzzy)
and I hug my dog...

If anyone tries to hug me I usually back away like a scared rabbit. I can't stand being touched by strangers. The worst are those people that insist on putting your arm in a death grip while they talk to you.

"Nobody touches the Fonz"

I think it's even more than that (cultural). I think it has to do with families. Some families hug, some don't. I (raised as a non-hugger) married into a family of huggers. Talk about stressful! :)

Interesting topic, but don't we need to discuss something of greater importance ... like pie? :lol:

I'm a hugger who married into a family of non-huggers. I kinda freaked them out, because my wife's father, well, was a cheating, lying, SOB. The first time my mother-in-law saw me hug a female friend, she about blew every circuit. Bless her, she waited until we were alone to tear into me, but it wasn't until she got to know my family (and saw that hugging was the standard form of greeting regardless of sex) that she understood.

It takes some practice when you're a hugger to identify who's a "non-hugger", but it's an important skill. I screwed up many a relationship before I got good at it...

It takes some practice when you're a hugger to identify who's a "non-hugger", but it's an important skill.


That's the key! I'm a hugger by nature, but I've also developed that 6th sense to know when the other person is receptive to a hug or not. I can't explain it, I can just tell. And I'm not into giving out some 1960's wrestler-type death clench, it's just a moment to tell you that I appreciate seeing you and hanging with you for the day. I find it sometimes takes a bit of "bonding" before a hug is dispensed. I might meet you for a group ride but there won't necessarily be a hug before the ride unless we're already on "huggable terms." It's more likely that saying goodbye after the ride is over will elicit a hug for the thanks that I got to know you and enjoy your company. I see nothing wrong with all this, but I'm also alert to those that are not "hug-a-holics." :D

Originally Posted by Cactuskid hugging big breasted women works for me!



:notamused: I guess some never leave Jr. High.




:roflmao2: Classic!

That's the key! I'm a hugger by nature, but I've also developed that 6th sense to know when the other person is receptive to a hug or not. I can't explain it, I can just tell. And I'm not into giving out some 1960's wrestler-type death clench, it's just a moment to tell you that I appreciate seeing you and hanging with you for the day. I find it sometimes takes a bit of "bonding" before a hug is dispensed. I might meet you for a group ride but there won't necessarily be a hug before the ride unless we're already on "huggable terms." It's more likely that saying goodbye after the ride is over will elicit a hug for the thanks that I got to know you and enjoy your company. I see nothing wrong with all this, but I'm also alert to those that are not "hug-a-holics." :D

You hug after rides? Yuk:D

You hug after rides? Yuk :D

LMAO...if I'm willing to get your cooties on me, then turn about is fair play. :lol:

I did not grow up in a hugging family. We just didn't. In fact, I never really saw it in our neighborhood either. Once I moved away from home in the mid 70's I still didn't see folks hugging one another. Then in 1983 I moved to Colorado and suddenly folks are hugging me - men as well as women. I've gotten ued to it. In fact I like it OK. giving and receiving. Its not how I would greet a stranger or someone with whom I don't have a history of some sort but most of our female friends get a hug from me when leaving. And male friends whom I have not seen in quite a while (say a year or so, 6 months?) are apt to get hugged. No one complains.
I thought it was a colorado/boulder thing when I first encountered it.

If we ever hold a 50+ convention and group ride, we are going to have to have a couple of different colored ribbons to wear.

Originally Posted by Cactuskid hugging big breasted women works for me!





:roflmao2: Classic!

I'm not normally a hugger. At a high school reunion a woman was there that was hugging most everyone. She hugged my friend and asked him how he was. Then she came to me and tried to hug me. But I didn't want to hug. Instead of backing away, she just kept on hugging me. She was pleasant and pretty and in fact I had a crush on her more than 40 years ago. But I didn't want to hug her. Finally, I gave her a hug with one of my arms and she finally released me, sortof. She held on to me with one arm around me and asked " You look familiar, but I don't really recognize you. Who are you?" Why do people do that?