Foo - dating sucks

that is all. Oh and sorry for being a meanie in the other thread siu.

welcome to the crowd. maybe we should charter a bus
to a winery where we can drown our sorrows with libations
of good red wine.

yeah, dating is like playing russian roulette with live human
beings.

welcome to the crowd. maybe we should charter a bus
to a winery where we can drown our sorrows with libations
of good red wine.

yeah, dating is like playing russian roulette with live human
beings.

I am in.

I am in.For russian roulette?

For russian roulette?

Nein only wine tour with kv UA. We might never return back from such a trip tho!

some canadian ice wine perhaps?

Dating does blow. I went out with a girl about a week ago and had talked to her on the phone twice before. We talked for over an hour the first time, and I forget how long the second time. The dinner went well. We talked casually the entire time and left the restaurant when they were closing. Then got ice cream and were sitting outside even after they closed as well.

We went our separate ways. She texts me the next day saying she had a good time and such. We text a little more and almost plan on meeting to go to a movie, but she has to pack as she's leaving the state for the weekend.

I call her midweek this week and leave a voicemail seeing if she want's to go see the movie. She doesn't call back. I text her in the afternoon the next day to jokingly note, 'no on the movie, huh?' She texts back pretty quick that she was sorry. She was at work all day that day. So I text back if she's free this weekend. No text back. That was yesterday. WTF? She was the one who actually gave me her number. I don't know if she's not interested after meeting me or that she's just disrespectful enough to leave me in the dark.

Even if she's working all these days I'm sure she can at least text me to say no. This is why I don't like going on dates with people I never knew before going on the date. Lame.

mine is more of a dissonance between our expectations. The not calling back thing is something that I rarely even think twice these days. I just thought for the first time in a while that I thought it could go someplace. time heals I guess.

you sound desperate.
It's horrible, but it can be fun leading others astray. :innocent:

you sound desperate.
It's horrible, but it can be fun leading others astray. :innocent:

Not desperate. I've changed since entering the business world in that I want results now. Don't bother f'n me around. She's losing points if that's what she's doing because then she's probably the type that thinks I'm going to get in a fight over her. Forget that.

That was yesterday. WTF? She was the one who actually gave me her number. I don't know if she's not interested after meeting me or that she's just disrespectful enough to leave me in the dark.


Do yourself a big favor--if someone doesn't have the courtesy to let you know what is going
on and leaves you in the dark then don't afford them the opportunity to further lead you on--
just leave it and figure it is their loss. Failure to communicate during initial stages only means
failure to communicate at later stages--equals general failure of relationship. She ain't worth
it bro.

Don't worry about it, some people aren't worth it. Someone good will come you just haven't noticed that it is under your nose yet.

Dating does suck, which is why I don't do it anymore. Every time I think about it, I am reminded quickly why I quit. I certainly don't miss it.

Dating? Eh... I prefer catch and release.

Lookie...a dating sucks thread not started by me! holy crap....

Dating does blow. I went out with a girl about a week ago and had talked to her on the phone twice before. We talked for over an hour the first time, and I forget how long the second time. The dinner went well. We talked casually the entire time and left the restaurant when they were closing. Then got ice cream and were sitting outside even after they closed as well.

We went our separate ways. She texts me the next day saying she had a good time and such. We text a little more and almost plan on meeting to go to a movie, but she has to pack as she's leaving the state for the weekend.

I call her midweek this week and leave a voicemail seeing if she want's to go see the movie. She doesn't call back. I text her in the afternoon the next day to jokingly note, 'no on the movie, huh?' She texts back pretty quick that she was sorry. She was at work all day that day. So I text back if she's free this weekend. No text back. That was yesterday. WTF? She was the one who actually gave me her number. I don't know if she's not interested after meeting me or that she's just disrespectful enough to leave me in the dark.

Even if she's working all these days I'm sure she can at least text me to say no. This is why I don't like going on dates with people I never knew before going on the date. Lame.

Depends on how the date was. Unless she already had a lot of attraction towards you in the beginning, long conversations over the phone/in-person aren't enough to secure anything. If anything, if she wasn't all that attracted to you in the beginning, long conversations (especially over the phone) make any sort of relationship building (at least physical) LESS likely to occur because at that point, she is either considering you as a friend or as potential LONG-term relationship material that she may or may not consider after being with a few guys after you (unless she was looking for the same thing spot on, which clearly she wasn't).

You got her comfortable with you before you got her attracted to you, which will NOT work in the short term. On top of that, after the texting (which is usually supposed to be short and sweet, not long and elaborate), you texted her a few more times, which comes off as being desperate. Girls hate desperate guys.

Just my two cents.

---

As for me, I really don't like "dating" because unless you are a natural with women (and, hence, will not hate dating at all), it takes a lot of work (and the right people/materials) to become successful with it. On top of that, I believe that the "right" person will come your way regardless of how you seek her (or, conversely, how she seeks you). "Dating" other people (now a days, I just make plans with women and have fun; much less worrisome) can help fill the void in finding that person or even bring you to that person directly.

In all honesty, I think "dating" is overemphasized because of social pressure. Instead of dating, I meet women practically wherever, enjoy the conversation, and if all goes well, I schedule a meet with her and have fun then. It's just the natural progression of things. Arranging "dates" (i.e. forcing them) can only lead to failure.

Oh, and women are like dogs in one sense; they can feel and sense your emotions towards them. That's why good body language is touted so highly amongst dating and pick-up experts.

Confidence. Having it improves EVERYTHING, and drastically improves ones success with women. After I learned that, I could do almost whatever I wanted! :)

Lookie...a dating sucks thread not started by me! holy crap....Yeah, but you posted in it. Figures.

:P

Oh, and dinner dates blow harder. With most women that I've done it with, it was mostly free dinner for them and complete loss (and waste of time) for me.

Instead, I prefer the vastly cheaper Starbucks coffee meet. If that goes over well, then dinner *might* be in order.

I went out with this one woman who gladly let me take the tab. I pledged that next time this happens, regardless of how my accounts look, SHE is covering the tab.

^^^^

When I used to date, if she did not offer to pay her part of the tab, I didn't give her a second date... that was my litmus test to see if she was a human being, as opposed to a blood-sucking wench.

speaking as an old fart who's been there, I hope it helps to say you eventually can look back and laugh....I've had some really nasty ones myself (who hasn't?)

Think of dating as a pivotal part of a successful marriage. I think that when people get married, and both people have dated others in the past, they have something to compare to.

The only thing required in a marriage is complete and utter capitulation on the part of the Man to the needs and wants of the woman, forsaking in all respects any regard for his own personal or emotional needs.

My take on dating is that it teaches you to fail. Think about it, every time you go on a date and it ends badly you have taken another lesson in failure. I think the better solution is courting under the supervision of a parent or mentor.

So, for those of you older folks, just give Chipcom, or King Termite a call and have them fill in for the mentor. Give it a try.

Steven

i'm in...it sucks.

It's more like baseball as we all know...you swing and miss, you hit the first pitch, you foul out, ground out, strike out etc...and MAYBE you make it to home plate, or go extra innings...etc. hopefully you don't get rained out, or hit by a wild pitch...etc etc etc

I wouldn't mind getting to the fifth inning so it's at least official....

i'm in...it sucks.

It's more like baseball as we all know...you swing and miss, you hit the first pitch, you foul out, ground out, strike out etc...and MAYBE you make it to home plate, or go extra innings...etc. hopefully you don't get rained out, or hit by a wild pitch...etc etc etc

I wouldn't mind getting to the fifth inning so it's at least official....

What would be the real world scenario of getting hit by a pitch?

What would be the real world scenario of getting hit by a pitch?

I think you left the "B" out of Pitch.


When I was married I had the best of both worlds...an open relationship.


Any time I wanted to sleep with another woman, I was welcome to sign over all my stuff and GTFO.

^^^^

When I used to date, if she did not offer to pay her part of the tab, I didn't give her a second date... that was my litmus test to see if she was a human being, as opposed to a blood-sucking wench.


The only thing required in a marriage is complete and utter capitulation on the part of the Man to the needs and wants of the woman, forsaking in all respects any regard for his own personal or emotional needs.

are either of these posts serious?

>>dating sucks<<

So does marriage. I think that covers everything.

>>dating sucks<<

So does marriage. I think that covers everything.

And marriage is way more expensive.

And marriage is way more expensive.

That depends on who you're dating and how rich you are.

in the end dating sucks the most because something that seems simple--
i.e. the mutual desire to connect, have fun, etc. is crazy difficult

That depends on who you're dating and how rich you are.

and the state in which you live...

are either of these posts serious?

somewhat, though probably a bit hyperbolic...

Speak of the devil. I just started a relationship a few hours ago.

this makes me glad i'm too broke to date. :D

this makes me glad i'm too broke to date. :D

Yeah, I was going to say, not dating is the ****tiest.

I just go with the 3 strikes and she's out strategy. If I've made an attempt to invite 3 times and she either says something like "not tonight" or doesn't respond to a message, that represents strike 3 and I leave it at that. Not that I'm an expert on the subject or anything, but that way I'm not wasting my time as I have in the past.

The only thing required in a marriage is complete and utter capitulation on the part of the Man to the needs and wants of the woman, forsaking in all respects any regard for his own personal or emotional needs.


Haha. Now THAT is a rule to live by. No mincing words there. :)

it's all in how you approach it. Lots of people out there wanting to like you, that's not a bad pool to dive into, even if you can't find them all.

I wish I had dated more, I was way too easy...

Been there, done that, and yes it sucks.
I thought I had a secure marriage, but one day the wife told me I had to find a new place to live, so I was back into dating.
First problem is that it's a lot of work. You have to find someone you want to date, and that might want to date you. You have to get to know them, investing time. And then it might not work out and you have to start over. And maybe you really liked her.
Second problem is that it can be a real blow to your ego and self esteem.
Third problem is that we take it personally, I guess this is similar to the second problem. Through observation my theory is that some people have more magnetism than others, and even if you have a lot of magnetism you can't make a connection with just anybody. So you may have to date a lot of people until you find someone that you really connect with. I like to watch the TV show "The Bachelor", and I notice that with one guy and 25 girls, and 25 girls that say they like him, he can't end up with one that lasts much past the end of the show. So if one of us is out there dating and dates 25 girls, what are the odds that one of the 25 will work out.

As for the female that doesn't call you back, I've been there too and I didn't understand it at the time. There are reasons that people can't get back to you immediately, but OTOH I've also had the philosophy that if she says "yes" it means "yes", everything else means "no". So you accept rejection, accept the dead end, and go on to something else.

I still believe in dating, love, relationships, because I think humans are made for that. I know people that seem to be happy to be alone, and I guess some people don't need a significant other or don't want to go to the trouble of having one, but I think most people do. For people in more populated areas, maybe things like "e-harmony" would be more efficient.

Thankfully I'm back in the married world. I'm too old to be dating. I like my wife, I love my wife, I admire and respect my wife. The only problem is that she isn't a cyclist.

A lot of good points here.......

What would be the real world scenario of getting hit by a pitch?

hahah...depends where you get hit...

well it does suck but what's the alternative? not dating...unless you're in a relationship those are your options. Hey, what's wrong with being free to choose, and single and happy? I'm childless, single, free, but yeah, dating sucks more often than not...but even then, when i see people with bratty kids, who look miserable, or see people i know in horrible relationships, i'm like WHEEE!!!

speaking as an old fart who's been there, I hope it helps to say you eventually can look back and laugh....I've had some really nasty ones myself (who hasn't?)

God, I do that now and I'm nearing 21!

in the end dating sucks the most because something that seems simple--
i.e. the mutual desire to connect, have fun, etc. is crazy difficult

When one stops thinking about all of that as "dating" (i.e. evaluating the other as potential for a relationship) and instead starts thinking about it as "just going out" or something else, all of that gets crazy easy.

I talk to a LOT of people most days of the week (when I'm not commuting by car). Many many MANY women are defensive at being approached, and understandably so: most of the men that approach them have not the SLIGHTEST idea what to say, and when they actually go up to say something, they say something really lame like "What's up" or anything creepier...this even happens to okay looking women, so it's easy to imagine this happening more to more socially desirable women (I've seen an opening or two myself, and they were both pretty pitiful).

When someone goes up with something different, or something that just makes the woman laugh, the dynamic changes ENTIRELY. That's when communicating and maybe connecting become really really REALLY easy; they aren't as defensive anymore.

Most of the above also works on men, but it's not as difficult because a lot of us just simply aren't as defensive. Plus, what guy would mind a woman coming up to them and doing the same things??

Here's a guy (Paul Janka) who's not afraid to tell it like it is:

http://video.msn.com/video.aspx?mkt=en-us&vid=d7f501cd-6e14-491f-8d3a-79ff7bf120b5

http://blog.juliaallison.com/Images/Paul%20Janka%20-%20Getting%20Laid%20in%20NYC.pdf

Are there no intelligent girls left either? Or has our education system really gotten that bad? Or is it just Floridian girls (too much sun perhaps)? I'm moving back North as soon as I can afford to. Of the dozen or so girls i've met down here, two or three have been what I would call physically attractive to the point i'd consider dating them. But that goes out of the window as soon as they open their mouths. The whole 'intelligent' conversation aspect would be virtually impossible with them. Just their stupidity around computers ("uh, how do you add an attachment to an email?" (said by girl who had just GRADUATED from UCF) makes me want to...run away from them.

Are there no intelligent girls left either?

I hate to break it to you. We're all stupid and helpless.

Honestly, I know of a few women that like to play the helpless female, because in many cases it attracts men. I avoid this kind of woman, as I find it really irritating, but one of my best friends is like this. I think they've gotten so used to having men (or anybody) do stuff for them, so they no longer try to figure anything out for themselves.

Stupid and helpless... more like a brilliant ruse to sucker guys in. It's amazing how many free dinners and drinks "stupid and helpless" can get you.

"So, if you're nice to them, they bring you things?" This is probably the most insightful character development line in the entire movie (PCU, 1994, I think) as the man-hating feminazi realizes she can take advantage of guys for her own gain.

The point is, guys, don't believe the "stupid and helpless" bit for even a fraction of a second. It's just a game to take advantage of you.

I just don't understand why a woman would view it as a net gain to have a few nice dinners and drinks at the expense of not having them with someone she were really into.