A lawyer died and was offered a choice of Heaven or Hell, so he asked if he could tour them both. Heaven seemed pretty boring and of course, he didn't know anyone there, so he was interested to see what Hell would be like. It didn't look good at first - a dimly lit dungeon corridor - but they let him look in one of the cells, and to his surprise, there was one of his former colleagues in there, having a great time having sex with the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. "How long does this go on for?" he asked the guard. "For all eternity" was the reply.

So naturally, he opted for Hell, and told them so.

Immediately, they grabbed him and threw him in the adjacent cell and chained him to the wall over an intolerably hot pit of lava. As the pain seared through him he cried out in torment and anger - "This is not fair! I wasn't such a bad sinner - how come I get so much worse of a punishment than next door?"

A booming voice replied: "How dare you compare your punishment to that woman's!"