Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'Lisp'?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That hurt, you stupid idiot?'

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

And my FAVORITE.... ..


The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you. :twitchy:

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?

The harder one press, the longer the contact points between the button and remote are actually in contact. Thus increasing the chance of the battery surging enough juice to transmit one last final signal to the tv/cable box.

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money?

Because they want to make as much money off of you as they possibly and legally can.

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

One does not check to actually see if the paint is wet, rather glances at the wet paint just to view it. If someone were to come into my office and say there are 4 billion stars in the universe, I'd glance over at my poster of the Milky Way galaxy........

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Can't answer that one......

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Cause the gun is made of kryptonite, unbeknownst to the assailant.

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Well, 1 - the helmets contained headphones so they could hear orders over the radio. 2 - Some ww2 era planes had an open cockpit upon takeoff/landing so the helmet was to protect against rain. 3 - Back then helmets weren't used to protect you in case of a crash, they were meant to protect your head while manuevering so you wouldn't get knocked out and cause an unwanted crash. You were meant to complete the trip, not survive it.

Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'Lisp'?

That is indeed awful, but even worse is the clinical name for a lisp.......sigmatism.

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

If dogs evolved from wolves, why are there still wolves? If we all evolved from single celled organisms, why are there still single celled organisms! Not all of a particular species will evolve.

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

The bubbles will be white, but tinted whatever color the bath mixture was. It's the soap that actually creates the bubbles. Just like my green bar of Irish Spring makes white bubbles......who knew?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Yes.

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

I think they are hoping to see something they didn't see before or hoping that they will suddenly be in the mood for something they've already seen.

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

They want to see what was making it stick to the carpet, cause the vacuum always sucks up the string after you put it back down.

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

They solved this problem by including colored string in the top end of the plastic garbage bags......if you still use old ones, you're just unlucky.

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

Live bugs crawl through a tiny tiny hole in the back/side of a light fixture, then the heat from the light kills the bug because it is not smart enough to go back the way it came in.

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That hurt, you stupid idiot?'

I am going to pretend I didn't read that.

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

Cause you put so much energy and concentration into catching the first item that you no longer concentrate on anything else.

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

If you use oil for heating your house, I can guarantee you don't do this.

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

There are some, but society has dictated that mother in law jokes are funnier.

And my FAVORITE.... ..


The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

This isn't a question, why is this in this post?

Why is phonics spelled that way?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

People and apes evolved from a common ancestor that is no longer in existence.



On a lighter note, these are cute.

Did I say that I was looking for explanations???? sheessshhhhh ;-)