Foo - Annoying Co-workers

The guy in the next cube over is loud and disgusting. Every day at lunch, and usually for a mid-afternoon snack, I hear him chewing with his mouth open, smack-smack-smack. This guy is at least 45 years old.

Grow up, and close your damn mouth!

you should hear my boss when he eats plums. Sucking & slurping on the damn things. It turns my stomach.

I have a room mate like that, only on the phone in her room. You can hear her downstairs. Its really annyoing when its after midnight and you're still awake cus she been on the phone for a damn hour already and, argh, want to kill her!

I hate it when coworkers trim their finger nails (and sometimes their toenails...save that for home, please!)

I have a coworker that sounds like he's coughing up a lung...can you say "dead man walking"?

Yeah my cube-neighbor does the same thing... manners aren't that important to him. God forbid he sits down at our lunch table. He talks with food dribbling out of his mouth. It's pretty damn nasty...

Ugh...

My roommates do that! First time I ate with them was an experience - surprised any food stayed in their mouths the way they chewed! - and he finished by unabashedly licking his plate.

I'm sure some are annoyed at me for my sudden outbreaks of imaginary drum playing!
However, no-one has come up to me and complained yet...so I guess there's nothing wrong.

i used to work with a guy who would crack walnuts at his desk.

and then another who would sip coffee doing the "ahhhh" thing after each sip.

My coworkers get annoyed when I leave at 2pm every day to go ride my bike for 5 hours. Yay for coming in at 5am... :)

and then another who would sip coffee doing the "ahhhh" thing after each sip.

omg I just almost spit my hot tea out.

I'm sure everyone else in the room loved the snorting sounds.:o

omg I just almost spit my hot tea out.


Did you make a really loud aahhhhhh sound afterward?

Coworker that is a 'space invader.' I have to place things around me to deter him from sitting on my f'ing lap. He's real touchy too. And he moves my stuff around. I so want to punch him in the brain.

yes....coworkers are annoying. Won't say much more on the subject except:

:bang::bang::bang:

Yes, I enjoy annoying my coworkers. Next question?

sorry,:(

Oh, I thought this thread was how to annoy Co-workers.

I'm sure some are annoyed at me for my sudden outbreaks of imaginary drum playing!

Gah! I have another co-worker who does that, too. It wouldn't bother me, but the way the cubes are set up, every time he does it, an earthquake erupts in MY cube. I'd say something to him, but he would actually do it more--so I have to deal with his BS. :mad:

The guy in the next cube over is loud and disgusting. Every day at lunch, and usually for a mid-afternoon snack, I hear him chewing with his mouth open, smack-smack-smack. This guy is at least 45 years old.

Grow up, and close your damn mouth!

You should tell him it sounds good and all the other co workers agree that next time he should bring enough for all of you.

The woman in the cube behind me is constantly getting calls on her cell phone throughout the day, and she has this LOUD Mozart piano sonata ring tone. Our office is dead quiet, so everyone can hear it. It seriously goes off like 4 or 5 times a day. It was even addressed at one of our department meetings, but she continues to do it. How oblivious can you be?

She also has this loud yawn that drives me crazy.

you should hear my boss when he eats plums. Sucking & slurping on the damn things. It turns my stomach.

This reminds me of a line from "I Love Lucy". Ethel is noisily eating chocolates, and Lucy tells her (this may not be the exact wording):

"When you eat it sounds like a cow pulling its foot out of the mud."

one of my co worker used to almost throw up evey time someone would belch. I did not like her so I drank diet cokes all day and every time I seen her I belched real loud. She went clear up the chain of command around here. Seems there is no rule about it. She quit. And I quit belching. Kinda fun.

The guy in the next cube over is loud and disgusting. Every day at lunch, and usually for a mid-afternoon snack, I hear him chewing with his mouth open, smack-smack-smack. This guy is at least 45 years old.

Grow up, and close your damn mouth!

Say something... Politely.

Dang, I thought you wanted advice on how to annoy co workers.

Maybe you should eat a very high fiber diet and then walk around the office and cut the cheese in their cubes. I've heard it does wonders for making them stay away from you :innocent:

As a kid after a few slaps upon the head I learned not to make any funny noises when I eat...

My children have learned the same thing...it's all about parenting.

As a kid after a few slaps upon the head I learned not to make any funny noises when I eat...

My children have learned the same thing...it's all about parenting.

You wanna come to dinner and show me the correct way to slap?

You guys need to work in a bar.

The annoying people pay you for making them throw up and feel like **** for the next two days.

My list of annoying cow-orkers:

1: The guy who proudly displayed his clear Sprite bottle he used for a spit cup, slowly filling up with foul tobacco, and always would drool into it in conversations.

2: The guy who played the same movie soundtrack on repeat day after day until the CD mysteriously was shattered into pieces and replaced in the drive.

3: The guy who refused to shower or bathe, claiming that soap messed with his skin, and was proud of the fact that you could find him in the building just by his scent trail. Multiple encrusted layers of what he ate in his facial hair added mystique as well.

4: The conspiracy theorist who was always paranoid that someone was always getting in on his work computer. Only time he shut up was when I told him that if a "they" wanted to "get" him, the job would be finished long ago.

5: The political talker who yaks my ear off. Politics are great, but I don't care to hear about them at work, when I am more interested in making sure the secured check printers in payroll are operable come pay period time, that sales has extra staff on site so all their figures make it on the books before end of quarter falls.

6: The two-faced guy who follows you around asking tons of questions when doing sysadmin work, but yet mentally logs any mistake you made to tattle on you to management.

7: The person who doesn't have a presence in any known division of a company and is not a contractor or auditor, but still gets a big office, a fat payroll, and access to everything. Said person is usually very full of themselves, and you cannot figure out what they actually do to save your life.

8: The guy who runs around with a Bluetooth earpiece talking on it... and gets mad when you point out that the earpiece is flashing the sequence for "ready", not "call in progress", which means he was just babbling to himself to appear busy.

9: The guy in support who whines for an unfiltered connection to connect to customer machines or installations... then when you look at router logs, he's either running a BitTorrent for some random movies, or downloading pr0n. Of course, he is one of the better tech guys, so if you pull his plug, he'll ditch and someone even more inept will replace him.

10: The developer who codes in a deliberate obfuscated style because he wants job security. His code is lousy nonetheless, but the only reason he hasn't been pitched out the door is because he is the only one who understands the core module your company's stuff runs on completely.

Gah! I have another co-worker who does that, too. It wouldn't bother me, but the way the cubes are set up, every time he does it, an earthquake erupts in MY cube. I'd say something to him, but he would actually do it more--so I have to deal with his BS. :mad:

Oh see! Then it'd be time for me to pull out the airguitar. Can anybody say Crazy Train? :D

Corporate accounts payable, Nina speaking, Just a moment!
Corporate accounts payable, Nina speaking, Just a moment!
Corporate accounts payable, Nina speaking, Just a moment!
Corporate accounts payable, Nina speaking, Just a moment!
Corporate accounts payable, Nina speaking, Just a moment!
Corporate accounts payable, Nina speaking, Just a moment!
Corporate accounts payable, Nina speaking, Just a moment!
Corporate accounts payable, Nina speaking, Just a moment!
Corporate accounts payable, Nina speaking, Just a moment!

Well, I do make smacking sounds when I eat. It doesn't matter if the mouth is closed. Maybe is just the tooth geometry or something. I can't help it. Specially with potato chips (those are designed to make sounds... crunch). I had a coworker once who was very angry with me due to the sounds I almost had to report him to HR... it was that bad. For that one, I would say, get an ipod.

You wanna know what's really annoying? The ones that sit by your side the whole day, and wait till you are on the phone to ask you something. Can't they just wait till I finish the call? You talk to me really loud, now I hear you and NOT the guy I have on the phone... then I have to ask the guy on the phone "can you repeat that?". After a few of those, ppl start thinking you can't understand english very well, or you are deft or you are dumb or something... I realy hate that.

I once worked in the same office with this creepy loser who:
- was a porn addict and surfed porn sites AT WORK...
-did cocaine, so he was always sniffling
-would jiggle, twitch, click his pen

He was revolting. The thing was his mother got him the job and she was in total denial...she knew he was a loser but it was either give him a job or he sits at home all day jerking off. He also would ignore calls and let them go to voice mail so he could read porn sites. His mother lost clients because of him. She was a really nice woman and I felt sorry for her.

NOw I work at my home office and I'm happy.

I thought you were talking about me until you got to that mom part. Mom never got me a job.

I hate it when coworkers trim their finger nails (and sometimes their toenails...save that for home, please!)

+1,000,000, I don't want a frickin' toenail clipping shooting over the cubicle wall and landing in my yogurt!



I have a coworker that sounds like he's coughing up a lung...can you say "dead man walking"?

We must be in the same office :D There's this guy that's had a lung busting cough for OVER FOUR MONTHS now. Go see a doc... they have a cure for TB now.

another thing that i can't stand is really short and unhelpful (or completely non-sensical) replies to emails.

for example, when you send an email detailing several points and asking for clarification on a few things and the response you get back is something like:

"yes, i work on"

drives me crazy.

oh, another one:

this guy who sounds smart, uses big words and some kinda strange logic - but is just plain old fashion wrong about a lot of stuff.

i hate that pseudo intellectual BS. the door is blue. it's not an entry portal with a blueish surface area.

oh, another one:

this guy who sounds smart, uses big words and some kinda strange logic - but is just plain old fashion wrong about a lot of stuff.

i hate that pseudo intellectual BS. the door is blue. it's not an entry portal with a blueish surface area.

Brother speaks like that.
He also uses words such as "grok" and will not use articles.

I once worked in the same office with this creepy loser who:
- was a porn addict and surfed porn sites AT WORK...
-did cocaine, so he was always sniffling
-would jiggle, twitch, click his pen

He was revolting. The thing was his mother got him the job and she was in total denial...she knew he was a loser but it was either give him a job or he sits at home all day jerking off. He also would ignore calls and let them go to voice mail so he could read porn sites. His mother lost clients because of him. She was a really nice woman and I felt sorry for her.
NOw I work at my home office and I'm happy.

Is that wrong? :lol:

How about:
During your lunch hour you pick up a gift for a friend's birthday. You pay to have it gift wrapped, and leave it in the shopping bag tucked under your desk for the rest of the day. While you are at a meeting, your co-workers get to gossiping about the purchase and decide to peak inside the bag, notice the gift is wrapped and figure to open the wrapping a bit to look at it. Pretty much the gift is unwrapped, opened up and then stuffed back in the box, clumsily re-wrapped, back in bag. You have no idea until the next day when you want to give the present to your friend. This happened to a former co-worker. She was a pretty mild person, not prone to fits or arguing, but this totally pissed her off. The co-workers laughed it off and tried blaming it on the custodial staff. I hated working there. So glad I quit!!

I work in a cube farm with 4 ft walls, chosen by the company President who has an office with a door. There was a guy who sat 2 rows over and every day at lunch he belched loud enough for me to hear it, announcing things like "Boy, I almost cracked my sternum with that one!"

Bose noise canceling headphones or an iPod with the volume cranked work wonders.