Jokes & Humor - Old man going to doctor
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09-19-08, 12:22 PM
An old man in his mid-eighties struggles to get up
from the couch then starts putting on his coat.His
wife, seeing the unexpected behavior, asks,
'Where are you going?'
He replies, 'I'm going to the doctor.'
She says, 'Why, are you sick?'
He says, 'Nope, I'm going to get me some of that
Immediately the wife starts working and positioning
herself to get out of her rocker and begins to put
on her coat.
He says, 'Where the heck are you going'?
She answers, 'I'm going to the doctor, too.'
He says, 'Why, what do you need?'
She says, 'If you're going to start using that rusty old thing, I'm getting a Tetanus shot.'
09-22-08, 07:16 PM
Here's my joke version:
An 80 year old man was having his annual checkup and the doctor asked him how he was feeling. "I've never been better!" he boasted. "I've got an eighteen year old bride who's pregnant and having my child! What do you think about that?"
The doctor considered this for a moment, then said, "Let me tell you a story. I knew a guy who was an avid hunter. He never missed a season. But one day went out in a bit of a hurry and he accidentally grabbed his umbrella instead of his gun."
The doctor continued, "So he was in the woods and suddenly a grizzly bear appeared in front of him! He raised up his umbrella, pointed it at the bear and squeezed the handle." "And do you know what happened?" the doctor queried.
Dumbfounded, the old man replied "No."
The doctor continued, "The bear dropped dead in front of him!"
"That's impossible!" exclaimed the old man. "Someone else must have shot that bear."
"That's kind of what I'm getting at..." replied the doctor.
09-27-08, 05:38 PM
Gramps gets through his physical with flying colors. He says to his Dr., "So, Doc, I guess I can still chase women"?
Doctor says, "At your age, you bet!! Just don't catch any"!!!!
09-29-08, 05:29 PM
Here's another joke:
A physician passed away and was being screened for the destination of his soul's eternal afterlife. Unfortunately, he'd been a bit of a lout, a quack, and greedy to boot, so he wasn't quite certain what to expect. Upon arriving at the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter greeted him, and informed the Doctor that he would be allowed to choose from one of the doors before him, but that because of his greed and misdeeds he may find the choices rather hellish. Upon opening door #1, he witnessed fire and brimstone of truly Biblical proportions, a horrifying sight, and quickly closed it. Upon viewing the spectacle behind door #2, he was even more horrified to observe various tortured souls ravaged by plague, disease and other maladies to terrible to mention, while an evil guard stood watch. With trepidation he opened Door #3 to discover therein groups of white-coated male physicians, being waited on hand and foot by beautiful young women dressed in little more than nursing caps! He rushed excitedly back to saint Peter and proclaimed, "I'll take door #3!" "Oh, no, I'm afraid that's not possible," exclaimed Saint Peter. "That's NURSES' Hell!" :D
09-30-08, 08:02 PM
I've thought this one was funny for awhile.
Dr Dave had intimate relations with one of his patients. It was important
to him not to have that happen in his career but just once one thing led
to another and now he is feeling down and embarrassed.
Fortunately, he has a small voice working to cheer him up. "Don't even
worry about it. You're not the first doctor this has happened to and you
certainly won't be the last, and besides you're single so nobody even
cares. Just forget it."
He is starting to feel just a bit better until another really mean little voice
reminds him: "But Dave ...you're a veterinarian."
10-01-08, 05:45 PM
LOL, I liked jokes(posts) 5,2,1 in that order
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