These fit so well they should be in a dictionary.

ADULT:
A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.


BEAUTY PARLOR:
A place where women curl up and dye.


CANNIBAL:
Someone who is fed up with people.


CHICKENS:
The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.


COMMITTEE:
A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.


DUST:
Mud with the juice squeezed out.


EGOTIST:
Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.


HANDKERCHIEF:
Cold Storage.


INFLATION:
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.


MOSQUITO:
An insect that makes you like flies better.


RAISIN:
Grape with a sunburn.


SECRET:
Something you tell to one person at a time.


SKELETON:
A bunch of bones with the person scraped off..


TOOTHACHE:
The pain that drives you to extraction.


TOMORROW:
One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.


YAWN:
An honest opinion openly expressed.


WRINKLES:
Something other people have, similar to my character lines :innocent:

CHICKENS:
The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.


Awesome