Mountain Biking - Real mtbrs do not ....

1. Use water bottles..
2. Wear lycra shorts (they wear long baggy shorts)..
3. Have visor on their helmets..

Etc, etc... Did I miss anything?

Hello, roadie here who's trying out mtb. I need advice on the dos and donts so I wont get yelled/ laughed at on the trails. Please help.... Thank you....

1 wrong
2 wrong
3 don't care

a hardcore roadie who thinks they are riding fast XC will get eaten alive and left for dead by a real mtb'er

Real mountain bikers enjoy the ride and don't care what others think.

Uhh, last time I checked lycra and water bottles were the way to go. At least around here. But it does depend on the discipline; the downhillier and the more technical the trails the more you'll get laughed at in lycra. So it's great for XC, okay for AM, most likely bad for FR and DH.

Real mountain bikers:

1) Rob the elderly;
2) Sell drugs near elementary schools;
3) Eat the souls of the weak.

1. Use water bottles..
2. Wear lycra shorts (they wear long baggy shorts)..
3. Have visor on their helmets..

Etc, etc... Did I miss anything?

Hello, roadie here who's trying out mtb. I need advice on the dos and donts so I wont get yelled/ laughed at on the trails. Please help.... Thank you....

Um, no. Use and ride whatever works for you. Think function trumping form. If you're insecure enough to really worry that much about what other riders may think, may I suggest you take up Tiddlywinks?

Bottles? Sometimes. Longer rides when more than in the Camelbak bladder is needed, or racing. Or just when I'm going short and close to home and don't feel like lugging the pack. Or also think XC racing.

Lycra? Some do, some don't. Wear what you like. 99% of the time I'm in baggies, but have done some long enduro races in the past where baggies would have suuuuucked.

Actually, it's the other way 'round. Most "road" specific helmets are visorless, and most "mtb" specific helmets have visors. Again, wear whatever helmet fits and feels good.

It's ain't rocket surgery.

Real mountain bikers:

1) Rob the elderly;
2) Sell drugs near elementary schools;
3) Eat the souls of the weak.

now now, speak for yourself.

real mountain bikers don't mind getting dirty
real mountain bikers don't mind getting their bike dirty
real mountain bikers know how to do field repairs
real mountain bikers know first aid ;)
real mountain bikers don't have t-rex syndrome
real mountain bikers laugh

Real mountain bikers:

1) Rob the elderly;
2) Sell drugs near elementary schools;
3) Eat the souls of the weak.

Sometimes, you can combine 1 and 3.

Real mountain bikers......
Ride Bullits and answer to '66.

Real mtbrs do not .... take most all "advice" that they read on this hilarious forum seriously.

Lycra is only for h0m0s

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y117/patentcad/PcadMTBnofenders2.jpg

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y117/patentcad/WBcondom.jpg

The photos above are a Public Service Announcement from the Road Nazi Trail Division Go F Yourself Project.

Real mtbrs do not .... take most all "advice" that they read on this hilarious forum seriously.

Lycra is only for h0m0s

Hell, I didn't even know how to ride a bike until I started hanging out here.

Anxiously awaiting some Moab time next week. Tim tells me he's got something new to showcase.

wrong about the first two. i wear lyrca and i kick everyones ass on the trail(most of the time)and if people make fun of me i say who just kicked ur ass up that climb and then take off and laugh as they try and catch up...

The photos above are a Public Service Announcement from the Road Nazi Trail Division Go F Yourself Project.You just went up two notches in my book PCad. Moto F-ing Becane.

You really don't give an "S" do you?

Oh i think pcad gives a a huge S two infact.

Real mountain bikers:

1) Rob the elderly;
2) Sell drugs near elementary schools;
3) Eat the souls of the weak.

I knew I was doing it wrong. I was eating their souls and THEN robbing the elderly. duh.

just have fun!

just have fun!

Correct.

But technically speaking, there is no fun in cycling.

It's complicated.

wrong about the first two. i wear lyrca and i kick everyones ass on the trail(most of the time)and if people make fun of me i say who just kicked ur ass up that climb and then take off and laugh as they try and catch up...

Wow you must be really awesome! Are you pro? If you could spare the time I could round up the TGMBG and you could give us some tips on how to be fast.We could get up some money if you would be willing to do a demo on the proper way to laugh at people on the trail.If we had time at the end of the demo you could teach up how to be a internet badass........Yeah,that would be so cool.

Real mountain bikers care more about the trail ahead than what other people ride/wear/drink from.

wrong about the first two. i wear lyrca and i kick everyones ass on the trail(most of the time)and if people make fun of me i say who just kicked ur ass up that climb and then take off and laugh as they try and catch up...

I think you want the roadie forum......thats a couple of forums down

Real mountain bikers drink good beer.

that is all.

^^ I guess Im not real then..
Darn.. I was fooled for so long.

Sometimes, you can combine 1 and 3.

Very true. Just like Bubba Ho-Tep.

Pcad, are you still sporting the bottle condom? I thought you were going to pick up one of those bottles with the cover?

wrong about the first two. i wear lyrca and i kick everyones ass on the trail(most of the time)and if people make fun of me i say who just kicked ur ass up that climb and then take off and laugh as they try and catch up...

+1.....take no prisioners

real mountainbikers leave before the pumpkins get sick.


83459

:D

Got moderated, so I deleted.

^ real mountain bikers only wear the team kit on race day.

Only one do and one don't in mountain biking:

DO - Have fun.

DON'T - Worry about what others: wear; think; do; ride.

Only one do and one don't in mountain biking:

DO - Have fun.

DON'T - Worry about what others: wear; think; do; ride.

And PLEASE try not to eat the yellow snow. It's not lemon flavored.

And PLEASE try not to eat the yellow snow. It's not lemon flavored.Ahhh . . . but you never know what flavor it might be:

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/1804624/yellow_snow_miller_lite_commercial.flv

Only one do and one don't in mountain biking:

DO - Listen to junkyard.

DON'T - Cheeto your bike.



Fixed it

Real Mountain bikers do: Bust awesome rapper rhymes
"and need I point out your lycra pants
The team kit outfit, and helmet, you pansie ass.
Whatcha thank, you gonna represent and earn respect
you can take that that crap you wearin, down the highway, Roadie


Real mountain bikers don't:
Listen to anything B2B say's

Real mountain bikers enjoy the ride and don't care what others think.

that should have been the end of the discussion. i road and mountain bike but many road bikers are very gossipy and worry about the way others look, perform, and the equipment they use. don't look down upon someone because you can afford a better bike or because you can wear a bib, enjoy the ride. mountain biking is only about being out there and doing it and having a good time, nothing else. basically, you can be out on the trails on a nice schwinn granny cruiser with a luxury bike seat, and no one cares. i enjoy camel backs over water bottles though mountain biking -keep your hands on the bars.

Real mountain bikers wear what they have and ride on dirt.

Am I alone in that baggy pants catching on a seat through a bit of technical and drops has caused a crash?


I dont care how gay lyrca makes me look..

^^No, my baggies have caught the seat a few times, making for some creative adjustments to my riding style. For me it depends on the trail I'm riding and how fast I need to ride it.

The photos above are a Public Service Announcement from the Road Nazi Trail Division Go F Yourself Project.

Real MTBers dont care if the top of their waterbottles get dirty.
Real MTBers like the taste of dirt.

(I keeeed, I keeeed)

Real MTBers dont care if the top of their waterbottles get dirty.
Real MTBers are not worried about their intestinal parasites having a little more company.

Fixed.

I don't wear shorts. Just fruit of the looms and a helmet, grip the pedals with my toes. Keeps me sharp and looking good in the event there are ladies on the trail.

I don't wear shorts. Just fruit of the looms and a helmet, grip the pedals with my toes. Keeps me sharp and looking good in the event there are ladies on the trail.

Hahahaa, Lucky ladies.

Btw, liking your Display Picture. Bruce Lee is the man.

I don't wear shorts. Just fruit of the looms and a helmet, grip the pedals with my toes. Keeps me sharp and looking good in the event there are ladies on the trail.

thank god you're in the forest.

Am I alone in that baggy pants catching on a seat through a bit of technical and drops has caused a crash?


I dont care how gay lyrca makes me look..

I wear jeans when i ride for the leg protection and don't have a problem. For the brief period of time i wore baggy shorts ('till the jungle struck back), i didn't have a problem.

Hah, i've actually had more problems WITH the lycra. there was a time i was waiting at a set of lights straddling my top tube. as the lights were about to change i hop back onto the bike, and the seat hooks the lycra!

Hahahaa, Lucky ladies.

Btw, liking your Display Picture. Bruce Lee is the man.

Incorrect. Bruce Leroy is the man. Or Reloy, as the case may be.

^ real mountain bikers only wear the team kit on race day.

Thus ruining 6/7ths of the point of a team kit.

Incorrect. Bruce Leroy is the man. Or Reloy, as the case may be.

Bruce Lee is the master of the universe.
http://bum.net/pics/bruce-lee.png

I wear baggy lycra.

Bruce Lee is the master of the universe.
http://bum.net/pics/bruce-lee.png

Bruce is not a member of the TGMBG so there is no way he could the master of the universe,the man, or much of anything else.Most folks don't know this but Junkyard did all the fighting scenes in Enter the Dragon.Santiago did the same for Fist of Fury.