Why did the chicken cross the
road?


JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized
the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the
other side of the road.

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change!
The chicken wanted change!!

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We
just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is
either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little
chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -
right from Day One! - that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves
to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite
image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your
definition of chicken?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

Sarah Palin: I saw the chicken from my house. I told it to go on home!

Bill Clinton: I did not have sex with that chicken. What chicken?

Sarah Palin: BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!

Sarah Palin: What aspect of the chicken, Charlie?

RALPH NADER
The chicken's habitat on this side of the road has been polluted by unchecked industrial greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed beneath the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

COLIN POWELL
Now on the left side of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

HANS BLIX
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

PAT BUCHANAN
To steal the job of a decent, hard-working American.

RUSH LIMBAUGH
I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet that somebody out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars. And when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took from you to build a road for chickens to cross.

MARTHA STEWART
No one told me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was gay , isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to "the other side". That's what they call it, "the other side". Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like " the other side".

DR. SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road,
but why it crossed I've not been told.


ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die. Alone. In the rain.

MARTIN LUTHER KING JR.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road. Stay with me, won't you?

JOHN LENNON
Imagine all the chickens crossing the road in peace.

ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX
It was an historic inevitability.

RONALD REAGAN
Chickens aren't the answer. Chickens are the problem.

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has ever gone before!

LOUIS FARRAKHAN
The road, you will see, represents the Black Man. The chicken crossed "the road" in order to step on the Black Man and repress him!

SIGMUND FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

MACHIAVELLI
Who cares why? The point is, the chicken crossed the road. The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.

BILL GATES
I have just released Chicken Coop 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Explorer is an inextricable part of the operating system...

ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

FOX MULDER
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?

COLONEL SANDERS
Did I miss one?

Oh man, crack ups.....

To get to the other side.

In North Carolina, to show the possum it could be done.