Falchoon
03-25-04, 04:31 PM
EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY
8:00 a.m. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favourite!
9:30 a.m. Oh, boy! A car ride! My favourite!
9:40 a.m. Oh, boy! A walk! My favourite!
10:30 a.m. Oh, boy! Getting rubbed and petted! My favourite!
11:30 a.m. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favourite!
12 Noon Oh, boy! The kids! My favourite!
1:00 p.m. Oh, boy! The yard! My favourite!
4:00 p.m. Oh, boy! To the park! My favourite!
5:00 p.m. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favourite!
5:30 p.m. Oh, boy! The yard! My favourite!
6:00 p.m. Oh, boy! Playing ball! My favourite!
6:30 p.m. Oh, boy! Watching TV with my master! My favourite!
8:30 p.m. Oh, boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favourite!
EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY
Day 283 of My Captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre
little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am
forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope
of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional
piece of furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant. Today my attempt to kill my
captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost
succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to
disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to
vomit on their favourite chair, must try this on their bed.
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt
to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into
their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little
cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in
solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the
noise and smell the food. More importantly, I overheard that my
confinement was due to my power of "allergies." Must learn what this is
and how to use it to my advantage.
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The
dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is
obviously a half-wit. The bird (Sammy??), on the other hand, has got to
be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports
my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety
is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time.
8:00 a.m. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favourite!
9:30 a.m. Oh, boy! A car ride! My favourite!
9:40 a.m. Oh, boy! A walk! My favourite!
10:30 a.m. Oh, boy! Getting rubbed and petted! My favourite!
11:30 a.m. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favourite!
12 Noon Oh, boy! The kids! My favourite!
1:00 p.m. Oh, boy! The yard! My favourite!
4:00 p.m. Oh, boy! To the park! My favourite!
5:00 p.m. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favourite!
5:30 p.m. Oh, boy! The yard! My favourite!
6:00 p.m. Oh, boy! Playing ball! My favourite!
6:30 p.m. Oh, boy! Watching TV with my master! My favourite!
8:30 p.m. Oh, boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favourite!
EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY
Day 283 of My Captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre
little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am
forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope
of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional
piece of furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant. Today my attempt to kill my
captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost
succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to
disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to
vomit on their favourite chair, must try this on their bed.
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt
to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into
their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little
cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in
solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the
noise and smell the food. More importantly, I overheard that my
confinement was due to my power of "allergies." Must learn what this is
and how to use it to my advantage.
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The
dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is
obviously a half-wit. The bird (Sammy??), on the other hand, has got to
be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports
my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety
is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time.