Foo - Help at work

I need a list of irratating and obnoxious things I can do at work to bother people. Not that can be punished by management, by still irritating. like belching. Mouth noises, snorting ect.

Body odor

I am a commuter, I already got that going on. I am looking for creative irritating ways to make my supervisor want me to get a better job. They can write me up for singing loudly.

I am a commuter, I already got that going on. I am looking for creative irritating ways to make my supervisor want me to get a better job. They can write me up for singing loudly.

You might want to think again about your plan. This crap economy is not a time to be risky with your job.
You are not likely to get good results from being annoying. Promotions usually go to team players and
people who visibly subscribe to the company culture.

The easiest thing to do here is to get MV to turn on the web cam on his office PC. Now all you have to do is tap into the stream and mimic his every movement. You could do this with me as well, but as I work alone, all you would end up doing is sitting at your desk with your legs up, drinking coffee and browsing BF.

just be yourself ...

:roflmao2::lol:

:innocent:


just be yourself ...

Maybe you could start wearing a headband and telling everyone you found religion.

Constant throat clearing, cutting your fingernails, tapping on desk, mindless humming or whistling, scuff your feet, wear some annoying hard heeled shoes and take lots of walks

Chewing ice. i only say that because I do it and it drives people nuts.

Tourette syndrome (also called Tourette's syndrome...

eat Indian food.

do a search for the "spin doctors" thread or just PM Hos13 for interoffice email tips.

KY jelly on phone recievers.

If you're serious. Heat up some bagoong (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shrimp_paste) in the microwave. Do it every day for a week. I promise, you'll get the response you're looking for.

Fire, and lots of it.

(Management can't punish you if they've been burnt to a crisp.)

They can in Hell.

Microwave fish at lunch....every day. Don't eat it, just microwave the crap out of it.
Same with popcorn everyday about 3:00 pm....until black smoke pours out of the microwave.

slurp your coffee

Habenero sauce in the office coffee pot.

Promotions usually go to team players and people who visibly subscribe to the company culture.

what a bunch of short-sighted yes people

Same with popcorn everyday about 3:00 pm....until black smoke pours out of the microwave.I take back my earlier, oversimplified post about fire. You should burn the place down by very much overcooking popcorn. Then their nostrils will be offended as their skin boils off.

Insult, meet injury!

I take back my earlier, oversimplified post about fire. You should burn the place down by very much overcooking popcorn. Then their nostrils will be offended as their skin boils off.

Insult, meet injury!

Can you add gasoline to the pipes that feed the sprinkler system? That would insure success. :innocent:

http://www.instantrimshot.com/


Turn your speakers up, and when ever someone tells a joke, press the red button

You might want to think again about your plan. This crap economy is not a time to be risky with your job.
You are not likely to get good results from being annoying. Promotions usually go to team players and
people who visibly subscribe to the company culture.

All these years I have played by the rules, been a team player. I have done my job and often times someone elses too. I have embodied the company culture, really not to suck up, it was just me. I have been loyal and innovated new procedures house wide. I look around me and I see these whiny, sniveling suckups getting the promotions and big raises. I thought to myself why o why. Then it dawned on me. All of the scumbags that are getting ahead around here have one thing in common. They are freaking irritating. So I intend to be innovatively irritating. See you at the top.

Folks, he's going to get in trouble with this stuff.

Look, it's all about the farting. Body odor stays and it can be traced. The masterfully placed fart will incapacitate your coworker and then there will be no evidence. In fact, you can even get a collective farting group going, where you have White Castle burgers for lunch and then visit various parts of the office depositing SPDs for those vile coworkers. They won't know what hit them. Fart on 'em and then ask them out on a date. Then, if you get 'em in bed, pull the sheet over their head and deliver the goods.

http://www.graphicsdb.com/data/media/580/Funny%20Fart%20Illusion.jpg

Can you add gasoline to the pipes that feed the sprinkler system?Brilliance. Especially if it's the type of system where you have to pull the lever.

Folks, he's going to get in trouble with this stuff.

Look, it's all about the farting. Body odor stays and it can be traced. The masterfully placed fart will incapacitate your coworker and then there will be no evidence. In fact, you can even get a collective farting group going, where you have White Castle burgers for lunch and then visit various parts of the office depositing SPDs for those vile coworkers. They won't know what hit them. Fart on 'em and then ask them out on a date. Then, if you get 'em in bed, pull the sheet over their head and deliver the goods.

http://www.graphicsdb.com/data/media/580/Funny%20Fart%20Illusion.jpg

Antics such as this is how people become executives where I work. when I make it big I wont forget you guys.

Some nifty techniques, John Cleese reveals it all for you.

Keep a block of limberger cheese open in your drawer.