Foo - Foo Soap Opera # 389873: My ex-gf got married all of a sudden, WTF?

Long story short (for now)...so there was this wonderful woman I was dating last year. Then we became "just friends". Then we started dating again. Then I became "one of her closest friends".

Then she and I chilled for a month with no communications. It was Ramadan. She is muslim. I respected her quiet time to fast.


Okay, so she calls me frantic the other day to say "your inbox is full...I couldn't reach you!" Yeah, I was happy. See, I kind of held out hope that we would start back dating since we had grown so close. I was taking my time, decided that the relationship started off shaky because I moved too fast.


Wrong!

She calls me today to tell me she is married. Went to the courthouse. TODAY.

Apparently, the next time I fall in love with someone, I need to just run to the courthouse and tie the knot before someone else does, WTF?:twitchy:


Once again, I am lost. How do you people manage anyway?


For future reference, yes..this IS a pity party!:bday::wtf::bang::saweeet::winter2::banned::injured:

Sorry Dipper.

Sorry Dipper.


Me too.:(

I'm speechless....got nothing.

Sorry your going through that.

I'm speechless....got nothing.

Sorry your going through that.



Me too.

She said that she really needs me at the reception tomorrow, since we are so close. I'm one of her best friends, she said. She doesn't want me to be shocked or surprised, she said.


How's that going for me, I wonder?

I'd say you dodged a bullet.

Do you really want to be with someone who would make a rash decision like that? From your post it looks like she married some guy after knowing him just a couple of months. Unless she was seeing him the same time she was seeing you.

http://i243.photobucket.com/albums/ff240/commentcherry/cherrytap/comment_graphics/im_sorry/images/115sorry9.gif

I'd say you dodged a bullet.

Do you really want to be with someone who would make a rash decision like that? From your post it looks like she married some guy after knowing him just a couple of months. Unless she was seeing him the same time she was seeing you.


If it's the guy I think it is, then she's only known him for a couple of months. We met at her birthday party. I left with her, he didn't. She fell asleep in my arms that night, not his.


If it's someone else, then I can see why she asked me not to be shocked. I would be surprised if it's the guy she barely knows. I would be shocked if it's someone I haven't even met. Did I mention that we were/are close?

Time to HTFU and aboandon romance. Time to be callous and just bag women by the baker's dozen.


Chivalry is dead.

I'd say you dodged a bullet.

Do you really want to be with someone who would make a rash decision like that? From your post it looks like she married some guy after knowing him just a couple of months. Unless she was seeing him the same time she was seeing you.

+1

Sounds like she has issues. I'd not go to the reception, say it would be too awkward to meet her new husband at this point since you'd been dating only a couple months ago.

bummer man

I'm sorry Dipper, but it does sound like you are better off. :(

Are you going to go? It seems that the two of you have different ideas on where your relationship stands.

Weird dude...did you post this (http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/wdc/630019049.html) on CL?

I'd say you dodged a bullet.

Do you really want to be with someone who would make a rash decision like that? From your post it looks like she married some guy after knowing him just a couple of months. Unless she was seeing him the same time she was seeing you.

+1

And don't get too down. If she follows form, she may be back on the market within six months.

Did I mention that we were/are close?

From an outsider's perspective, it looks like you thought you were closer than she did. If she really considered you a close friend she would have confided earlier that she'd met this great guy and was head over heels, she wouldn't have sprung it on you the day she got married.

She said that she really needs me at the reception tomorrow, since we are so close. I'm one of her best friends, she said. She doesn't want me to be shocked or surprised, she said.It's a good thing she gave you a whole day, then! I mean, it takes at least forty-five minutes to acclimate to and be okay with these kinds of things.

:rolleyes:

I'm sorry Dipper, but it does sound like you are better off. :(

Are you going to go? It seems that the two of you have different ideas on where your relationship stands.




"Better off alone..."


Yeah, I guess. Differences on where we stand. You betcha. I don't kiss my close friends in the mouth, etc..

That's why I think that she really liked me, but I moved too slow and blew it. It's all about timing. This guy just swooped in and...bang! MARRIED HER.

It's a good thing she gave you a whole day, then! I mean, it takes at least forty-five minutes to acclimate to and be okay with these kinds of things.

:rolleyes:

I'd tell her I was washing my hair that night, and I shave my head.

It's a good thing she gave you a whole day, then! I mean, it takes at least forty-five minutes to acclimate to and be okay with these kinds of things.

:rolleyes:


+1 That's the kind of pity party I wanted to throw. Thanks x136! I need some anti-crazy talk in my life right now.

I mean, I don't get the whole "I will feel really bad if you aren't there" talk. That's crazy talk, isn't it? Shouldn't she be saying "I met someone really wonderful that I want you to meet" or "there's this guy that likes me, will you check him out for me, your opinion really matters"? And shouldn't these things be said way earlier? Like last year earlier?

Weird dude...did you post this (http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/wdc/630019049.html) on CL?

That's great.

I really'd suggest to the OP that he maybe avoid the reception. Sometimes grooms have pals who don't understand exactly why the bride is so "close" to you. An honest assessment of why the OP was so close will probably not sit well with these fellows. Best to avoid trouble.

On another note, I wonder whether the OP has begun sleeping with all of her friends yet.

She shouldn't try to guilt you into going like that. Its pretty manipulative, imo.

I'd say you dodged a bullet.

Do you really want to be with someone who would make a rash decision like that? From your post it looks like she married some guy after knowing him just a couple of months. Unless she was seeing him the same time she was seeing you.


+1

Sounds like she has issues. I'd not go to the reception, say it would be too awkward to meet her new husband at this point since you'd been dating only a couple months ago.


+1

And don't get too down. If she follows form, she may be back on the market within six months.


She shouldn't try to guilt you into going like that. Its pretty manipulative, imo.

correct.

I mean, I don't get the whole "I will feel really bad if you aren't there" talk. That's crazy talk, isn't it? Shouldn't she be saying "I met someone really wonderful that I want you to meet" or "there's this guy that likes me, will you check him out for me, your opinion really matters"? And shouldn't these things be said way earlier? Like last year earlier?


Yes, if you were her close friend she would have confided in you. The "I feel bad" speech is because she is feeling guilty about not telling you, or leading you on when she was interested in this other guy.

She treated you badly, her conscience is is telling her that, she's trying to dig herself out of a hole.

On the plus side, I put out a request for a recipe for Romulan Ale in the cocktails forum. If any good ones turn up you can drown your sorrows.

Yes, if you were her close friend she would have confided in you. The "I feel bad" speech is because she is feeling guilty about not telling you, or leading you on when she was interested in this other guy.

She treated you badly, her conscience is is telling her that, she's trying to dig herself out of a hole.

On the plus side, I put out a request for a recipe for Romulan Ale in the cocktails forum. If any good ones turn up you can drown your sorrows.

Yup. She's trying to hide her own guilt by making you feel guilty. What a nice "close" friend there. I would cut off ties with this chick and find someone else. She sounds like way too much drama

Ah, an excuse to post the monkey burning bridge pic...at last.

http://bp2.blogger.com/_3leSG9FwszA/R60LxoNZWzI/AAAAAAAAAHY/PbQY7VEr2Kc/s400/bridge.jpg

On another note, I wonder whether the OP has begun sleeping with all of her friends yet.


Her friends are hot. I was too content being a gentleman and not really focused on punnany for most of my life. I thought those qualities were appreciated in a man. I had my priorities ass-backwards. Pun intended. Ass was last.

Yup. She's trying to hide her own guilt by making you feel guilty. What a nice "close" friend there. I would cut off ties with this chick and find someone else. She sounds like way too much drama



She's actually very sweet in person. Very quiet. Maybe she hid all the drama from me , too?


It's weird how people lie and manipulate in order to earn trust and respect. Does not compute in my mind, which is already failing on epic MS Vista levels as we speak.

On the serious tip, you're not actually thinking of going, are you?

Tell her you'll go, but only if you can bring your husband and three kids.

This sort of stuff happens to me all the time. I just figure there are red flaming signals I'm missing in some way. Sigh.

Chivalry is dead.

It's only dead if you let it be. While she may not have appreciated it, being chivalrous is still the appropriate/respectful way to be. However, I'd ditch the reception if I were you. It won't make you feel any better, right?

Did she marry someone who's Muslim? Could it have been her parents pressuring her to marry this fellow?

She certainly didn't take your feelings into consideration--I think I would politely decline the invitation to the reception.

Man, that's cold....:( .

East Hill

I wouldn't go to the reception if I were you. I'd be worried that I'd introduce myself to the groom as her boyfriend.

But seriously, if you guys were that close, you'd think that she would have mentioned this other guy, right?

Did she marry someone who's Muslim? Could it have been her parents pressuring her to marry this fellow?

She certainly didn't take your feelings into consideration--I think I would politely decline the invitation to the reception.

Man, that's cold....:( .

East Hill
That is what I wondered- family pressure? Pregnant/shotgun wedding?
I'd only go if you value her friendship despite all the shenanigans... not just because she values you.

That's messed up. :(

I'd probably go - but only cause I'm masochistic that way...

Dipper! Wassup dude! She wants you at the reception cuz she'll need a backup man in case her husband doesn't work out. She wants you to be the getaway driver. She also needs to show her husband who she was dating before so he knows that he should feel lucky to have her. Basically, she's playing games. So go to the reception and get it on w/ all her hot friends at the same time in the fountain in the lobby.

I'd say you dodged a bullet.

Do you really want to be with someone who would make a rash decision like that? From your post it looks like she married some guy after knowing him just a couple of months. Unless she was seeing him the same time she was seeing you.

yes.

first, I am sorry - regardless of the rationale stuff, this must hurt. :(

I'm sure she is someone special if you liked her so much but she sounds confused.

If you have the strength to do so, it'd be awesome to go there and be supportive (she is a friend, after all, even if she did spring a surprise on you), but I doubt anyone would fault you if it was just a bit too much. I don't know that I could do it.

Yup. She's trying to hide her own guilt by making you feel guilty. What a nice "close" friend there.

I hadn't seen that part - I amend my earlier post. Skip the reception. Drink Romulan Ale.

If you do go, get drunk on Romulan Ale first, and enter late, swinging the nearly empty bottle and screaming demands for Saurian Brandy. Bonus points if you arrive dressed as James T. Kirk. When all the groom's friends try to bodily eject you, grab for their trapezius muscles and pinch them really hard.

Tell her you'll go, but only if you can bring your husband and three kids.

:lol:

go to the reception and get it on w/ all her hot friends at the same time in the fountain in the lobby.

NOW we're cookin' w/gas!:thumb:

Are you really her friend, or were you only keeping up appearances while you tried to secure your boyfriend status? If the former, go to the reception. If the later, don't.

That is what I wondered- family pressure? Pregnant/shotgun wedding?
I'd only go if you value her friendship despite all the shenanigans... not just because she values you.



Of course I value her friendship...but damn.


I doubt if this guy is muslim. She was non-traditional and if it's the same guy I met at her birthday party, he's from Israel. So she married a nice jewish boy? Oy vey.

I hadn't seen that part - I amend my earlier post. Skip the reception. Drink Romulan Ale.

If you do go, get drunk on Romulan Ale first, and enter late, swinging the nearly empty bottle and screaming demands for Saurian Brandy. Bonus points if you arrive dressed as James T. Kirk. When all the groom's friends try to bodily eject you, grab for their trapezius muscles and pinch them really hard.

Check it (http://www.videovat.com/videos/977/paris-hilton-phone-sex.aspx)...may be NSFW

Are you really her friend, or were you only keeping up appearances while you tried to secure your boyfriend status? If the former, go to the reception. If the later, don't.


Good point, but we really had a lot in common. She was a nerd. A hot nerd, but a nerd.


Of course it was about a romantic relationship. Ouch.

Of course it was about a romantic relationship. Ouch.
Then going would be more trouble than it's worth.

Various Romulan Ale recipes:

1 part Bacardi 151
1 part blue Curacao
1 part of one of the following:
a) Everclear :eek:
b) Vodka
c) Sprite <eh, not strong enough>

I choose option b)

Check it (http://www.videovat.com/videos/977/paris-hilton-phone-sex.aspx)...may be NSFW

wow...if no one's actually done this yet for real, I think I finally found a way to make million$

sometimes its hard but be magnanimous...it's better for your soul :)...

as her friend....wish her well in her marriage and move on