Tandem Cycling - Rather rude, but funny

My poor Missus/stoker has to put up with my shenanigans all the time. For example, I sometimes cut it a little close to roadside bushes, careful to lean to the left while she gets pelted by the leaves. Nothing dangerous, of course. Just a little something to lighten up the ride.

The poor girl can't see a thing straight ahead with her 6'4" husband blocking the way.

So today at the beginning of our ride we were buzzing out of our neighborhood on a road lined with sycamore trees. If you're familiar with sycamore trees you may know that they actually bear fruit, in fact a 1-inch ugly green ball that does nothing except make for dangerous flotsam on the roadway when they fall from the tree.

Well, one such tree with one such fruit was dangling at the perfect height and position. So, naturally, I ducked and -- phwack!!! -- that baby hit the Missus smack on her helmet.

Now the fruit is rather light so I knew the Missus was going to be just fine. But damn did she left me have it!! I laughed so freakin' hard I thought I'd crash.

Just passing along a humorous anecdote for the day.

Andy

somebody needs to share with her what those COLD water bottles are for....:p

Your going to end up without a stoker, and you'll be doing all the pedaling yourself.

Oh, she was fine. Startled her for a second or two but she took it all in stride. I'd never let anything remotely injurious happen. But I did sleep on the couch last night!

Andy

Tell her that stick pins are very beneficial when placed in your cheek to correct inappropriate behavior. Hot bike is right on the money. You will lose your stoker, but you could ultimately lose your partner.

To Andy's stoker:
Pull down back of his shorts over the rear of his saddle!
You'll think it's funny. . . will he? Nothing like a bit of reverse cleavage on a tandem.

I am glad my wife is my stoker and not my captain... she would be having so much fun at my expense... she is a little bit of a joker, like Andy. We thought what Andy did was pretty funny. Just do not get carried away and compromise safety...

My wife use to bump my left hip to let me know that a car was approaching us from the rear. After my hip replacement I complained about being sore in that area and she usually hits me about the waist on the left side. If I ignore her and do not move over to the right of the road far enough for her taste... she bangs me on the left hip and laughs... me too.

OK, VaultGuru, try this one on for size.

It's been raining out here lately. But this doesn't stop us from taking our rides. So, on occasion, I slow down when I see a properly positioned -- wet -- branch, being careful to approach said wet branch at the proper speed so I can reach up and lightly grab it at a slight angle behind me.

Yup, you guessed it ... I'm dry as a bone while the poor Missus gets a few drops.

So why does she put up with this stuff, even if I do this kind of thing only very occasionally? Because it's harmless and actually adds to the fun of the rides we have together. Believe me, she jabs at me in her own way as well.

Andy

Maybe I'm missing something here but I doubt it. Your idea of "rude but funny" is most peoples idea of "abusive but no ones been hurt real bad yet". I doubt my comments will do any good but I feel like I am turning my back on a case of domestic abuse because it is inconvenient to get involved, or that I should mind my own business. Maybe if your wife occasionally pulled your chair out from underneath you or someone treated your daughters in the same way you would get the point.
I'm hoping your post was some type of social experiment and not actually the way you think your wife and daughters should be treated

^OK, whacked in the face is a bit extreme. But you've never tried to steer by a sprinkler close enough that just your stoker get's wet?

If I tried to get close enough to the sprinkler we both get wet and I would and have done it at times because it can be refreshing, if she tells me she does not like to get wet I will ask her before I do the next time. We have been tandeming for a year now and having lot's of fun without any body getting "whacked". Only punishment being dished out is by the hills.

Hey merlin, nobody got whacked in the face. Not even close. Don't excite the chichi's among us. His imagination is running away with him. My wife of 22 years wholeheartedly disagrees with chichi's assessment. She's even watching over my shoulder as I type, shaking her head in disbelief.

Now, for the next shenanigan: One time after a long ride I was tired, and so was the Missus.

I was tired, and pulled a tight left turn at the hotel right before a stop. And the poor Missus went ... down!!

This was in fact the first time the poor girl went down. We ended up sitting next to each other laughing because we executed this maneuver in full sight of the check-in desk.

Andy

Andy, read the comments. How many are supporting you and how many are telling you to clean up your act? Haven't heard from your wife (significant other) on this one. If she weighs in as OK, then (I presume) that the comments to your original post are wrong.
I'm done with this one. "Putz" comes to mind.

I think "Andy" is one or all of:
1) a jerk
2) a troll
3) really Andy Capp and his wife is Flo in that British comic strip of yesteryear.

Whatever, I would not want to ride on the back or his tandem or anywhere near him on the road. He gives me the creeps.

And I thank chichi for speaking out most forcefully.

OK, I bow out. Sorry for offending anybody.

Andy

Andy,

You have ben married for 22 years.... We have been married for 31... We think what you do is funny and we will ride with you and you wife any day.

One thing I do to my wife every month or so is to scream: DOG!!! never fails, she jumps on the pedals and we accelerate harder than at most sprints.. LOL I pay for it later one way or another...

Andy,

Thanks for sharing. We have been married for 12 years together for over 20.. We also got a kick out of your story and would ride with you guys any day. We believe in having fun and try not to take things seriously. We have only been riding the tandem since July and I have already tried the sprinkler thing, and the tree branch thing however she is much lower than me and just laughs when I get clipped. She is not shy about a pinch in the rear to keep me inline. We are having fun and it keeps us going back for more.

Andy,
You and your wife fell of your bike accidentally, nobody got hurt and you laughed it off, sounds like human nature to me. My hats off to your wife, it might have been easy for her to blame the fall on you and get p.o.’d about something you had no control over, again hats off to your wife.

For the record, while I winced a bit as I first read your post I quickly realized it was because I couldn’t imagine doing that to Debbie. That’s just ‘not me” or “us”.

However, as I thought about it I realized I have done far worse things to Debbie… even putting her at risk of serious physical harm both on-road and while riding off-road. In fact, riding off-road she’s been slapped in the face by branches that have left welts on her face and scratches on her eyewear, she has been dumped in creeks, bashed up against trees, literally thrown off the tandem and has the scars to prove it. On the road tandems we routinely hit speeds in excess of 50 mph on mountain descents, ride on roads where the slightest lapse in attention by me or a motorist will most certainly put her in the hospital, and mix it up with other tandem teams at Rallies... but have thankfully not had any incidents on the road that have caused any physical harm. We have friends who have not been as lucky and their stokers have the scars to prove it as well.

Clearly, it’s never been my intent to harm my wife or to scare the crap out of her but that’s clearly happened in the past and will likely happen in the future. Therefore, to an outsider looking-in who did not have an appreciation for our relationship and her willingness to put her trust in my judgment, experience, and skills would they too assume I was being abusive and putting my relationship on and off the tandem at risk?

So, having taken time to pause and consider the relationship I have with my wife as it relates to tandem cycling and the things to which I subject her…. your little pranks pale in comparison: that is, assuming in doing those things you and she have some level of understanding they merely acts of mischief and done so without malice. The mere fact that you posted the anecdote and the various caveats you used clearly conveyed this to be the case.

Therefore, after due consideration I’m thinking I’ll just trust you to know your stoker and the strength of your relationship better than me and in that regard I’m clearly not bothered by your posting. By all means, do what ever it is that you two do to keep your tandem cycling and marriage fun and we'll do the same.

So... i also sign off. We are celebrating our 37th year of marriage tomorrow. Guess I just got too stiff spined on this one. Keep on rollin, stay in love for ever and grow old together.
Cheers

OK, I edited and softened up the post above. Thanks, chichi and VaultGuru, and others. VG, enjoy your 37th. It's a terrific thing to hear especially in this day and age.

Andy

I enjoy turning around and slapping my wife across the face when she isn't pedaling fast enough.
If she complains, I just tell her she's not being a team-player.

I enjoy turning around and slapping my wife across the face when she isn't pedaling fast enough.
If she complains, I just tell her she's not being a team-player.

You have a strange sense of humour--or do you?

East Hill