General Cycling Discussion - What to do when Significant Other Not Into Bikes?

My girlfriend of 9 months couldn't care less about bikes. While I don't expect her to become as fanatical as myself, I don't like that I am not able to share my main hobby and a big part of my life with her. She tolerates my hobby with no complaints, and has never even come close to scoffing at it. Honestly, I'm not even sure if she knows how to ride a bike. I try and explain to her the merits both as exercise and transportation (as we are both car free, and she obsesses over weight), but to little avail. The other day we saw a metallic green old beach cruiser and she said she would ride if she had a bike like that, I got so excited I almost tried to buy it off of the guy who was riding it! Have any of you had a partner who you wanted to share your love of bikes with? Any suggestions on how to do so?

Don't push the biking thing too much with her. It may have the opposite effect. Be thankful that she tolerates your hobby with no complaints. My wife has a bike and we occasionally ride together, but it's not the same as a real group ride, if you get my drift. (think: riding as slow as you possibly can)

Rejoice and count your blessings.

Maybe she is just bringing a wider perspecftive to your life. Enjoy both. bk

Don't force it. Enjoy her for who she is--

Tread carefully. Ultimately if she's into it you can help her, but in my opinion if you try to push her it will backfire.

I had a girlfriend that wanted to get into biking when she saw how much joy (and fitness) it brought me. I helped her in shopping and choosing a bike as well as starting to ride. She was doing great and even switched to clipless pedals. Then she had her first crash as pretty much everyone at that point does. It wasn't bad and she was even able to finish another 8-10 miles of riding that day, but she never rode again. I would surely enjoy riding with a significant other again, but also enjoy my time on my own. My advice is be careful what you wish for. :)

Sign up for a charity ride, somthing big like the Tour de Cure or maybe an M.S ride. Family friendly type stuff. She might catch the bug when she sees how fun this stuff can be.

What to do when Significant Other Not Into Bikes?
Sever.

Tread carefully. Ultimately if she's into it you can help her, but in my opinion if you try to push her it will backfire.

I had a girlfriend that wanted to get into biking when she saw how much joy (and fitness) it brought me. I helped her in shopping and choosing a bike as well as starting to ride. She was doing great and even switched to clipless pedals. Then she had her first crash as pretty much everyone at that point does. It wasn't bad and she was even able to finish another 8-10 miles of riding that day, but she never rode again. I would surely enjoy riding with a significant other again, but also enjoy my time on my own. My advice is be careful what you wish for. :)


My wife followed this EXACT trajectory. Everything was all fine and good until clipless pedals. Now she won't even use the clipless when the bilke's on the trainer.

If she's not jumping in on her own, don't force it, but support her activities that you don't necessarily enjoy. Give and take :)

My girlfriend of 9 months couldn't care less about bikes. While I don't expect her to become as fanatical as myself, I don't like that I am not able to share my main hobby and a big part of my life with her. She tolerates my hobby with no complaints, and has never even come close to scoffing at it.

Don't look now but GF isn't the right one for you.

Why?

If GF isn't your friend enough to share your interest now she never will be. Move on. :rolleyes::rolleyes:

Marry a friend but just "enjoy" a lover before moving on. You see if your mate isn't a friend there is
nothing left when the 'fun' stops. Believe it...............

My wife bought a cruiser bike at Walmart, we rode around the block once, that was the end of it. If she's got the least weight problem and you have the least hills, that'll do her in unless she actually has some interest in it.

And don't go signing up for some 20 mile ride unless she's been riding quite a bit anyway. That's a good way to change her from "don't care about bikes" to "hate bikes".

Edit: My wife has never shared my hobbies- not a reason to change, though!

Rejoice and count your blessings.

Amen brother!! I love being with my wife, but time on the bike is [B]MINE[B]!!

You can't change your mate. And this is truth. You will never change her.

If you are willing to devote your life to something *she* loves to do, do you expect a tit-for-tat exchange? If so, you're a fool. Even if you could find someone with the same hobbies, who's to say that you two could get along besides the superficial cruft?

If you really like her, just be happy for that...

Find something else you have in common, and enjoy that as your special time together.

Cycling is a bug, it's either you've got it or you don't.

Would you start making clothes together if your wife bought you a high-tech, top-of-the-line sewing machine?

(figuratively speaking of course :) nothing wrong with sewing :) )

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My wife has no interest in riding. She does like to go on a family ride like once a year.
I am perfectly fine with my ride time being me time.
However, I will see if I can get her to start riding short jaunts to baskin robbins with my son and I when it warms up. Maybe something will come of it. Maybe not. No issue either way.

i agree with nightshade on the "marry a friend" bit, but not necessarily with the "drop the gf" bit.

so what if she's not interested in biking? you can still have fun with her otherwise, eh?

my current gf can't ride with me. she's interested in it, but has a permanent shoulder problem that would cause her serious pain on a bike (at least with a standard flat bar handlebar setup). i'm not going to drop her because of it, though!

To get my cycling fix and not cut into family time, I started commuting. Perfect solution. It doesn't matter that my better half isn't into it like me. That doesn't mean we don't do some riding together.

I could be golfing the 19th hole or chasing women. She counts her blessings.

You are still in a position to do something about it. Is she a keeper? In spite of her non-cycling? Then live with it. It is not a deal breaker like you truly know you do not want to raise kids and she does.

My wife has no interest in riding. She does like to go on a family ride like once a year.
I am perfectly fine with my ride time being me time.
However, I will see if I can get her to start riding short jaunts to baskin robbins with my son and I when it warms up. Maybe something will come of it. Maybe not. No issue either way.

Yeah, I wouldn't force any issue with your wife, if that's her on your avatar, Datajunkie. Is that a knife she's holding?!??


:D :thumb:

If she is interested in, say, quilting, she wouldn't expect you to get involved with it, would she? Same difference.

i feel your pain, as my wife doesnt ride either and i have like 7 bikes in our house. not at, in. she puts up with my obsession an/or hobbie and i am thankfull for that.

She tolerates my hobby with no complaints, and has never even come close to scoffing at it.

Why not be happy with that? I think it's healthy to have separate interests. :)

Yeah, I wouldn't force any issue with your wife, if that's her on your avatar, Datajunkie. Is that a knife she's holding?!??


:D :thumb:

lol

No. I doubt I could handle the lady in my avatar. She is a wee bit aggressive for my tastes.

Even though there are different takes on this scenario, I think the responses here have more in common than any other topic I've read here on BF. Interesting. :)

Being able to lie about how much you spend on bikes is a big plus when shes none the wiser.
I'm a jerk though so this is probably not the best idea.

Sever.

In this case I disagree. As long as she tolerates his cycling and tries it every once in awhile even if she doesn't make a habit of it is good. By pursuing her own hobbies it give them something to talk about.

My rule is the 80-20 rule. Whatever in life is truly important to you, look for a partner that can give you 80% of what is really crucial. The other 20% you'll have to give up on. Over a lifetime you might 5% back but that's about it. (You'll also have to give up on 5% of the 80 so it balances out).

If Bikes are something you can't live without and something the S.O. can't live with, you'll have to bail. Otherwise, it might be a solo pleasure. (And as others have said, that can be a good thing too!)

Not sure if biking is just a hobby in this case since you are both car free. Makes a lot of things a bit more difficult.

Only you can decide if you should try to push her. She has indicated that the type of bike makes a difference. What about a cool folder? Practical to take on a bus or into shops, and some peopel find the small wheels less scary.

To make my son like biking I made sure when he was younger I did not give him any bad biking experiences. What about biking approx one kilometer down to a great lunchbar on sundays? I used to take the bikes on the car and go to a place with a great wiew, a nice beach (or shops since this is a young woman?) and so on. If I pulled him up a hill that was too steep then we sat down for an icecream and a proper rest. We brought food and made dinner and he and the dog was swimming.

Personally I would find a man who did not like bikes (both innside and outside the house) uninteresting in the long run. On the other hand a "full blooded roadie" that spends all his time on bikes and all his money on same would make me run in the oposite direction. :D

Buy an Electra.

My wife and I have been married 34 years. We go out every Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday night.
She goes out on Fridays and Sundays and I go out on Thursdays and Saturdays.

My wife and I have been married 34 years. We go out every Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday night.
She goes out on Fridays and Sundays and I go out on Thursdays and Saturdays.

LOL! I've tried and tried, can't get my wife of 30yrs to ride. Well, she will ride once in a while around the suburb. I think she does it to appease me though. Fortunately my brother will ride with me, but his "motor" dwarfs mine! :lol:

I've seen couples with identical interests whose marriages are unhappy or have failed.

I've seen couples with completely opposite interests that are happy, in stable healthy marriages.

There's a lot more to it than riding bikes together.


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Having a girlfriend may also mean getting married and having children. Its all about your view of marriage and family. Its not about the bike.

Why not be happy with that? I think it's healthy to have separate interests. :)

:)

My wife goes out on her StingRay once every six months. I understand her
interests to her are more interesting to her than mine are, to her......
Conversely, she lets me engage my two obsessions without question.
I encourage her interests, she encourages mine. At the end of the day we get
together over a cup of coffee and discuss our separate adventures. Works here ! :)

If everything else is good, I don't see her non-cycling as a deal breaker. OTOH, if you want her to ride, go very, very slow. My wife was very active and outdoorsy (we were both big backpackers and hikers) and she showed some interest when I got a new bike. She'd been primed to be a gear freak from all the backpacking (what's the lightest tent? etc.), so she was interested in bikes. I bought her a cheap road bike for her birthday, and let her set the pace for rides we did together. Soon, she was riding more and more on her own, and, because she loves a challenge, she decided she wanted to train for a century. Now, almost nine years later, she races about 20 races a year and is training for her first triathlon in May.

Let her set the pace. Encourage her interest, but don't push her to do more than she wants to do. Make sure she sees other women riding, as that can be one of the most discouraging thing for women--the m/f ratios at races and charity rides are pretty skewed.

I think the OP had the right idea - that cycling is a hobby - and I also think that it's good for a couple to have separate interests. People who are attached at the hip through too many similar interests will get bored with each other much faster than people who have a variety of interests.

If the OP really really wants to go riding with his SO, go on vacation and rent cruisers for a few hours with plans to go not very far - see how that goes. Of course,the OP should also be prepared to spend an equal amount of time doing something the SO enjoys that the OP couldn't really care about!

Or, blast forward & get her a shiny green cruiser for x-mas & DO NOT complain when it collects dust!

Mrs. Doohickie and I did a bunch of our Christmas shopping today. We also went over to Whole Foods so she could stock up (she's doing a vegetarian/non-processed foods diet). On the way home we stopped at my LBS so I could show her some of the cold-weather gear I'd like to get for Christmasd. She even remarked that, "Debbie [the LBS owner, who goes to our church] has a nice little shop there." As we were driving, she said, "You know, it's really nice spending the day together."

Part of this, though, is that she works, I work, she has her hobbies and I have mine. In the end, we don't spend as much time together as maybe we'd like but that's good; it leaves us wanting to spend more time together. I wish I could get her on a bike, but she has some health problems that make this impractical.

I don't see it as a major deal breaker. If was wanted to ride more it would be tough, but my most regular ride is my commute, and usually once a week (but not necessarily every week) I do a breakfast ride with a club. There come times, I think, where Mrs. Doohickie thinks I'm spending too much time in the saddle, but then again I can see her point. We've got several remodeling jobs in work.

If you see a lot of "not quite this, but that" in my post, I think that says something about my marriage; there's a lot of give and take between us. It's worked good for us for 24 years so far.

My wife hates cycling, or more exactly, hates the traffic zipping by her when I tried to get her to ride.
We've been married over 30 years, would be great to have her join me on some long rides. However, she's very agreeable to stay home, and come pick me up somewhere if I want to do a one-way ride.
I can usually find someone else to join me for a ride.

My gf wanted to ride with me as I got back into cycling. This made me very excited as we would go to local restaurants and starbucks to get around. Only problem is that she is much much slower than I am. To a point I have to ride in the granny gears on flats! I appreciate that she rides with me but on my free time I haul ass.

We've been married 17 years, I like cycling, sailing, hiking, and camping. She likes none of those things. But that doesn't stop me from asking her every weekend if she would like to go for a ride. ;)

I don't see why it is a problem unless she doesn't support or at least tolerate it. You don't need to do everything together. My wife doesn't ride with me (she did back in the 70's), but she is always supportive of my crazy trips and never complains if I want to go ride, even when I took the summer off to ride coast to coast. What is important is that you are supportive of each other's interests not that you share all of them.

My wife of 3+ years had less than no interest in cycling when we met. Even when we were married she said she'd never come on a cycling tour - it was not her thing. Well, next week we're packing up the bikes and cycling in Cuba for 2 weeks. Have patience and don't force your cycling on her.

B

Partners who don't ride can make fantastic road crew. My husband is not biking at themoment - not because he's not interested but because of a long standing injury. He is a great roadie for myself and the kids. Of course he still has the biking interest, which helps.

Find an alternate SO???

Buy her a bike.
A while back I bought my girlfriend a bike.
She really got into it.

Now she is my wife and now she has six bikes