Foo - Stuff White People Like

Not sure if anyone has posted this before, but check out this web site:

http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com

If you are a young white city living male like me all this stuff rings a little too true...

example, #87 - Outdoor Performance Clothes

"As white people get older, they like to make clear boundaries between their professional and personal lives. They don’t mind talking about their personal life at work, but they hate talking about their work life when they are enjoying a weekend or vacation. But with blackberries and laptops, white people could be working anywhere, at any time. So how do you know when they are off the clock? It’s easy, check their clothes.

When white people aren’t working, they generally like to wear Outdoor Performance Clothes. The top suppliers of these garments and accessories include North Face, REI, Mountain Equipment Co-Op, Columbia Sportswear, and Patagonia.

When you see white people wearing these, it is important that you do not discuss business matters. Instead you should say things like “where did you get that fleece?” and “what’s that thing holding your keys to your shorts?” White people will be more than happy to talk to you about their sustainably produced possessions.

The main reason why white people like these clothes is that it allows them to believe that at any moment they could find themselves with a Thule rack on top of their car headed to a national park. It could be 4:00 p.m. on a Saturday when they might get a call “hey man, you know what we need to do? Kayak then camping, right now. I’m on my way to get you, there is no time to change clothes.”

Though it is unlikely that they will receive this call, White people hate the idea of missing an opportunity to enjoy outdoor activities because they weren’t wearing the right clothes.

If you plan on spending part of your weekend with a white person, it is strongly recommended that you purchase a jacket or some sort of “high performance” t-shirt, which is like a regular shirt but just a lot more expensive."
---------------

After reading this I looked down and realized I was wearing a Mountain Hardware fleese...

yep. It's been posted before.

sadly, yes it has been posted, numerous times.

The article failed to mention the underground tunnels that join all our houses together. (That isn't still a secret is it?)

not anymore.

*goes and checks lock on trapdoor entrance/exit under bed*

I like big butts and I can not lie
You other brothers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with
an itty bitty waste
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung, wanna pull up tough
'Cause you notice that butt was stuffed
Deep in the jeans she's wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring
Oh baby, I wanna get wit'cha
And take your picture
My homeboys tried to warn me
But with that butt you got makes
Ooh, Rump-o'-smooth-skin
You say you wanna get in my Benz?
Well, use me, use me
'Cause you ain't that average groupy
I've seen them dancin'
The hell with romancin'
She's wet, wet,
Got it goin' like a turbo 'Vette
I'm tired of magazines
Sayin' flat butts are the thing
Take the average black man and ask him that
She gotta pack much back
So, fellas! (Yeah!) Fellas! (Yeah!)
Has your girlfriend got the butt? (Hell yeah!)
Tell 'em to shake it! (Shake it!)
Shake it! (Shake it!)
Shake that healthy butt!
Baby got back!

(Well...now I know why I couldn't open jsharr's trapdoor.)

I've been aware of this site for some time (never been on it, but my wife has).

It's convinced me of three things:

1. My wife is white. Very White. Not that there is anything wrong with that.

2. I, on the other hand, apparently am white in pigmentation only.

3. You really can find anything on the internet.

Don't believe everything that you read.

You'll get a parking violation and a maggot on your sleeve.

Old News.

I've seen it before, but much of it is so true. :lol:

Someone parked my maggot and violated my sleeve.

one of the stupidest sites on the web

You missed the completely obvious:

#61 Bicycles

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2003/2201790289_5773155fe7.jpg

A good place to find white people on a Saturday is at a Bike Shop. Bike shops are almost entirely staffed and patronized by white people!
But not all white people love bicycles in the same way, there is much diversity. First up, we have the younger urban white folks who absolutely love their fixed gear bicycles. These are seen all over college towns, Silverlake in LA, Williamsburg in Brooklyn, Queen West in Toronto, and Victoria, British Columbia. Fixed gear bicycles meet a lot of requirements for white person acceptance. They can be made from older (i.e. vintage) bicycles, thus allowing the rider to have a unique bike that is unlikely to be ridden by anyone else in town. They are also easily customizable with expensive things Aerospoke rims (http://www.aerospoke.com/order.php?cat_id=006), Phil Wood Hubs (http://www.aspirevelotech.com/Merchant2/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Product_Code=AVH400-RED-SLR&Category_Code=PWHFTFRONT), and Nitto Parts (http://www.benscycle.net/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=188_429_417_435_441&products_id=1895). The combination of rare bicycles and expensive parts makes it easy for white people to judge other white people on the quality and originality of their bicycles. This is important in determining if someone is or isn’t cooler than you.
White people also like Mountain Bikes because it lets them be in nature. It’s really not more complicated than that.
And finally, they love expensive Road Bikes and the accompanying spandex uniforms. This enables them to ride long distances and wear really tight clothes without any social stigmas. These types of riders will spend upwards of $5,000 on a bicycle and up to $400 on accessories, but will not ride to work. Perhaps because they cannot wear the spandex. It is important that you never question why someone needs a $5000 bicycle since the answer is always “performance.”
For the most part, these rules have been unisex. But there is a special category of bicycles that appeal far more to white women, the European city bike (pictured).

http://bikeportland.org/wp-content/jorgOlifBike.jpg

White women have a lot of fantasies about idealized lives, and one of them is living in Europe and riding around an old city on one of these bikes. They dream about waking up and riding to a little cafe, then visiting bakeries and cheese shops and finally riding home to prepare a fancy meal for their friends who will all eat under a canopy with white Christmas lights. This information can be used to help gain the trust/admiration of a white woman, especially if you can pull off a lie about how your mother told you about how she used to do all of these things when she was younger.
And of course, it goes without saying that white people who ride bikes like to talk about how they are saving the earth. If you know a person who rides to work, you should take them aside and say “Hey, thanks. Sincerely, The Earth.” Then give a thumbs up. That white person will ride home on a cloud.

one of the stupidest sites on the web
White people don't like this web site ;) :)

White people don't like this web site ;) :)

Bike Forums?

Bike Forums?

Dislike for BF crosses all ethnosocioecomonic boundaries

one of the stupidest sites on the web

Embrace your whiteness...

Embrace your whiteness...

*stands up and jerks rythmically while making strange face*

I was born a poor black man.....
http://thiswoman.files.wordpress.com/2008/01/the_jerk.jpg

*stands up and jerks rythmically while making strange face*

Where are your hands sir?

*stands up and jerks rythmically while making strange face*

Then sits down and lights a cigarette.

*stands up and jerks rythmically while making strange face*

Stop that or you'll Go Blind!

Stop that or you'll Go Blind!

what if he's already blind?

what is best for shaving your hands?

Don't believe everything that you read.

You'll get a parking violation and a maggot on your sleeve.

Soyyyyy un perdedorrrrrr,
Im a loser babyyyy, so why dont you kill me.

I like BBQ, Watermelon, loose shoes and a tight *****.

And I'm (mainly) Irish, so I look white!

Irish? I would have guessed German.

what if he's already blind?

Then he's going to have a lot of fun trying to clean up that mess.....

one of the stupidest sites on the web

I thought it was amusing at first, but then it just turned into a vehicle to sell their stupid book.