Jokes & Humor - Truth in humor.

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View Full Version : Truth in humor.


Mr. Markets
03-02-09, 09:28 AM
A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in California when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you give me a calf?"

Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then the Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

"You're a Congressman for the U.S Government", says Bud.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cows...this is a

herd of sheep. .


Now give me back my dog.


making
03-02-09, 09:31 AM
:roflmao2:

dgodave
03-02-09, 09:42 AM
Whats a cowboy doing herding sheep?
.


making
03-02-09, 09:58 AM
musta been a sheepboy.

Mr. Markets
03-02-09, 10:00 AM
Probably Baawney Fwaank showing up there in his earlier days... BAAAAAAAA....

late
03-02-09, 10:06 AM
Fatty ought to be feeling sheepish. Too much bull, I guess

FXjohn
03-02-09, 10:10 AM
Fatty ought to be feeling sheepish. Too much bull, I guess

he's the new face of the GOP.

go fatty!!

Tom Stormcrowe
03-02-09, 10:50 AM
And this belongs in Jokes and Humor.

It is funny, though. ;)

dgodave
03-02-09, 10:58 AM
musta been a sheepboy.
Maybe the congressman didnt want to pop the shepherds cowboy fantasy. Dont alienate your constituents.
.

Mr. Markets
03-02-09, 07:18 PM
he's the new face of the GOP.

go fatty!!

right now I find him MUCH more inspirational that Team Obama. :thumb:

Mscott
03-12-09, 08:11 AM
:roflmao2::roflmao2:

Brillig
03-17-09, 09:21 AM
Weak. That's an old "consultant" joke with the word "consultant" replaced with "congressman".

It's actually a funny joke when it's about a consultant.

timothy002
03-17-09, 11:06 PM
:lol::lol::lol:

waldowales
03-27-09, 07:47 PM
Once, when I was acting as a consultant, a salty old boy explained to me what a consultant is: An overpaid ******* from out of town.

hendrick81
05-05-09, 04:20 PM
Lol...

joewey
05-11-09, 04:39 AM
LOL.

Q: What does a leprechaun call a happy man wearing green?
Ans : A Jolly Green Giant

cyclezealot
05-11-09, 04:51 AM
A government rant approved by all. Even , mostly right.. Whose to say, John Boehner might not have a pair of Gucci's and a YSL tie. ?. Fatta's on the right track.. Political humor exacts a higher price than a bag full of rants.

leroy37tz
05-19-09, 09:59 AM
LOL :) more more

leroy37tz
05-21-09, 08:53 AM
Brilliant i'm still chuckling my socks off give me my dog lol

flyntsharpstone
08-25-09, 01:36 PM
There's some funny stuff here. I thought you guys might appreciate a favorite humor site of mine http://thejfproject.com

folky
08-27-09, 05:20 AM
very good story.Put some more.