Singlespeed & Fixed Gear - hilarious

worthy of another posting even if it has been up here before

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3210/3043600257_e91e22d968_o.jpg

i found this hilarious

thats great. that made my night.

that was really funny. it made my night

Lol

funny.

HAHA, sounds like some of my friends....or me for that matter. Hipster emo ****** bags don't throw punches round here though

"oozing machismo" :twitchy:

That's good stuff. Thanks for that!

:roflmao:
:thumb:

I hope that's not true...

I hope it is true! that was awesome!

Venom AND Slayer?!?! That kid's lucky to be alive! With name drops like that I'm suprised Man-dude didn't rip his throat out. Throw Judas Priest into the mix like that and the Kid is lucky he didn't get sodomized.

But punching a man in the forehead? What that Kid thought to accomplish by punching a grown-ass man in a place where force is distributed evenly around the cranium, I'll never know. Maybe cold-clocking that guy 3 inches to the side of the forehead would have yielded better results?

Funz.

I fail to believe that any man who acts like that runs his own company. The kid was out of line for hitting him, and probably deserved to get smacked a LITTLE, but the "man" was WAYYYYY more out of line. Hopefully that kid got the guy's license plate number, I feel a little less safe knowing there's someone like that driving around.

Also, Priest, Venom and Slayer? In 2009? Seriously?

i would like to know if that kid thought it would hurt him, or if he has really bad aim.

I fail to believe that any man who acts like that runs his own company. The kid was out of line for hitting him, and probably deserved to get smacked a LITTLE, but the "man" was WAYYYYY more out of line. Hopefully that kid got the guy's license plate number, I feel a little less safe knowing there's someone like that driving around.

Huh? If you punch somebody, it's on. Esp if it's true this kid ran the light, he isn't going to get a lick of help from the cops after instigating the fight, so he'd better keep that plate number to himself. And I used to work for the kind of guy who'd kick the snot out of someone if he had been the one running the light. Plenty of people fail at life but succeed at business.

I fail to believe that any man who acts like that runs his own company. The kid was out of line for hitting him, and probably deserved to get smacked a LITTLE, but the "man" was WAYYYYY more out of line. Hopefully that kid got the guy's license plate number, I feel a little less safe knowing there's someone like that driving around.
Also, Priest, Venom and Slayer? In 2009? Seriously?

Im feeling the same way, about the guy on the bike.

I feelm the same way, about the guy on the bike.

Werd. The guy in the car didn't start the fight.

if some kid punched me in the forehead, he is getting his ass kicked. and i don't fight. but if you start one, i will be obliged to help you get a smackin'.

I fail to believe that any man who acts like that runs his own company. The kid was out of line for hitting him, and probably deserved to get smacked a LITTLE, but the "man" was WAYYYYY more out of line. Hopefully that kid got the guy's license plate number, I feel a little less safe knowing there's someone like that driving around.

Also, Priest, Venom and Slayer? In 2009? Seriously?
Sounds like the idiot kid messed with the wrong guy to me. :lol:

I feelm the same way, about the guy on the bike.

Really?

Some skinny wimp probably riding around at 10mph who might flail at you with his fists after crashing into you isn't all that scary.

Someone who says "learn this lesson kid, I'm superior because I AM OPERATING A COMBUSTIBLE ENGINE VEHICLE MADE OF STEEL. Car wins over bike" is a problem. Especially if they think they're macho because they have "hair to their ass" and listen to slayer and venom (seriously, VENOM???) and basically beat up the equivalent of a 13 year old.

It was kind of funny for a bit, but then it just got pathetic and sad

this kinda macho bull**** is how "cool, beat your ass, make fun of 'hipster kid' on the internet dude", provoking a second meeting, gets shot by an obviously irrational thinking angry bikeless child.

it's pretty obvious this is a story of not one but two idiot *******s. one who punches people in the forehead, and one who validates his insecurities (that he doesn't have, right) over the internet.

anyone agreeing with machismo man must have a complex of their own... a bigger man would have left the already ****ed up kid alone- especially if he's making it sound like HE read Nietzsche and understood it, hahaha

so because i think it was a valid reason to beat the **** out of the kid because he A) ran a red and hits a car, causing $700+ in damage B) proceeds to yell, blaming the driver of the car, who was driving through a green light intersection and had the right of way C) Punches the man in the head and then shoulder after he offers to help you and call an ambulance. i have a complex?

the man was provoked and the kid deserved a beating. did he go to far, by smashing his iPhone and jumping on his bag, yes. But that does not negate the fact that the story was funny, or the kid got himself into a fight he could not compete in.

if i have a complex, for believing the man was sudo in his right to fight the kid, then you need to come of you white high horse and take a look back at yourself.

There had to be a better way to post this than a giant jpeg.

so because i think it was a valid reason to beat the **** out of the kid because he A) ran a red and hits a car, causing $700+ in damage B) proceeds to yell, blaming the driver of the car, who was driving through a green light intersection and had the right of way C) Punches the man in the head and then shoulder after he offers to help you and call an ambulance. i have a complex?

N.B. All this is according to the driver. I've been called a "fcking idiot" by drivers for banging on their window while they right hook me as well. You're going to take the word of someone who states he is automatically superior over a cyclist because he's driving a car? That's interesting....


But that does not negate the fact that the story was funny

It got pretty pathetic how many times the guy had to justify his own toughness.


if i have a complex, for believing the man was sudo in his right to fight the kid, then you need to come of you white high horse and take a look back at yourself.

Does not follow.

i found it online, not the original ad, but the text. here it is:

liberdade (http://www.reddit.com/user/liberdade/) 32 points 3 months ago[+] (3 children) (http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/7egl3/to_the_hipster_who_slammed_his_bicycle_into_my_car/#)
liberdade (http://www.reddit.com/user/liberdade/) 32 points 3 months ago[-] (http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/7egl3/to_the_hipster_who_slammed_his_bicycle_into_my_car/#)
To The Hipster Who Slammed His Bicycle Into My Car - 28 (Hipsterville) Reply to: pers-925630332@craigslist.org [?] Date: 2008-11-19, 12:57PM EST
Yesterday, about 11;30 am in Bushwick, about two blocks from the Halsey street stop on the L.
So here I am minding my own business, driving back home to the Island from an appointment.
And here you come, on you “vintage” bike, with a pretty little scarf around your neck and tight adorable little girl pants, white ipod earphones firmly implanted in your ears. You are not looking around too much I assume, as you ignore the fact that YOU have a red light and proceed to do a full frontal collision with my vehicle.
****. I pull over and get out like a good Samaritan I am. Yeah it’s about lunch time and I jus drove for an hour and a half each way just to have an hour meeting and haven’t eaten since 8 am. But I’m nice like that, I get out and ask you if you are ok and if I need to start calling an ambulance.
Here’s where **** gets f-ed up. Instead of grabbing the hand I offered to help you up, you jump up and punch in the forehead. What the hell? And it just gets worse from here. You must have mistaken my utter frozen expression of amazement as weakness and proceeded to follow it up with something even dumber. You hit me AGAIN, in the shoulder this time and bust out with this line of “You ****ing white trash piece of **** you hit my bike I’m going to kick the crap out of you, you ****ing redneck”.
Now, I’m not a violent man, I’m too old for that, I’m nearing 30. I operate my own company, which is WHY I was out in the middle of the day going through your ****ty neighborhood. And kid, I used to LIVE there, which is why I took the detour to come check out what has happened to my old stomping grounds. Needless to say, you idiot Midwesterner emasculated metrosexual jerkoffs moved in and opened up a coffee shop and what used to be a goddamn CHOP SHOP. What idiot would spend time in an old car shop in the ghetto, don’t you mongoloids know anything about toxic fumes? So I was already a in a bad mood, and you just caught me at a perfect time.
So I started hitting you. A lot. And possibly kicking you, I don’t know, it got a little blurry for a bit there. And at one time I might have picked you up and tossed you against those old NYPD/NYFD call stations.
Then you started crying like a little *** hipster ***** that you are. I’m not blaming you for that, it looked like it really hurt, man. But what gives you even the slightest IDEA that a guy who has 80+ lbs on you and at least 8+ years, has long hair down to his ass, wearing a flight jacket and combat boots is going to let you hit him? You are 110 lbs MAX and 6 foot tall. I’m 5’10 and a good 180 lbs and I eat my meat and protein before hitting the gym, so I’m obviously even visually MUCH bigger then you. Is it your height, which would explain why you would punch me in the forehead (which incidentally doesn’t hurt, in case you ever grow the balls to get in a fight with a man again)? Or was in the fact that I was wearing glasses, which I looked for after they fell off in my rage of boots bouncing off your head? Next time you pick a fight, make sure it’s with one of your own kind, the self-loathing socially-awkward losers who pretend they have actually read Nietzsche and Dostoevsky and understood them (I hear they don’t actually TEACH anything other then finger-painting at art school though).
And then you, while spitting out bloody mucus (I didn’t hit you all that hard, *****, I’ve been ****ed up worse in moshpits by friends back in the day) you call to the crack dealers who were watching your beatdown to call the cops.
See there’s stupid here on two different levels. First of all, you calling for negros slinging rock on the corner to call the cops? You slow or something? Secondly, while before I was turning away and walking back to my car to go get a Cuban sammich from the place I remember not to far from years ago, now I whipped around twice as pisses and did something I almost feel bad about. I snatched the cell phone from your hand and smashed it on the sidewalk with my boot. I probably should have sold your little iphone toy and paid off my electric bill, but **** it, I’ll work an extra hour or two to make up for it, the pleasure of knowing you cant call anyone to complain is just too much fun.
And you asking the chulo walking by to help you? Not too smart either, his poor broke border-hopping ass just got here last year and then your kind move in and his rent goes up. He ain’t going to help you, idiot, he wants you OUT of his hood. But yeah, he probably does speak English, but you screaming that a Nazi is beating on you isn’t going to sway him. Nor the black brothas who are still laughing at you and watching their mid-day entertainment of cracka-on-cracka violence.
So here’s the moral of this story, you ironic-shirt wearing, rent-raising, liberal hippy Midwestern piece of **** wanna-be artist. People like me, who grew up in NYC, are and will always be able to whoop your ass. Sure, I wasn’t BORN in this city, I came here as a child from a ****ty cold war-era soviet country and grew up in the Bronx, with meanest machete-wielding blackity-black crack-heads on one side and angriest drunkest Irish skinheads on the other of me. Don’t hit a guy who offers you a hand of help, I’m going to do a ****ing jig on your skull, boy.
And learn this lesson, kid, I am superior to you not just by the virtue of my rugged good looks, oozing machismo and not living off mommy and daddy like you do, but by the fact that I AM OPERATING A COMBUSTIBLE ENGINE VEHICLE MADE OF TONS OF STEEL. Car wins over a bike, you were THIS close from me killing you, doofus.
And as a side note, what sort of idiot wears an election t-shirt after the election? Yes I know you love your precious Obama, but the dude won, no need to display your zombie-like allegiance to a candidate WEEKS after it’s over.
And if you plan on filing a police report, I already called it into my insurance company and have the claim #, you owe me $700+ in bumper replacement.
But I feel bad taking all my frustrations of the day out on you, since you need a new phone, new bike, whatever was in your messenger bag that I heard crunch when I jumped on it and have at least two broken teeth that I saw you spit out. So here’s the deal: I have a garage full of older bikes in pretty good shape (I pick them out of the trash and donate them to abandoned children charities, stuff you don’t care about). I’m willing to part with one of them so you can get to your art gallery “gig” and make a few bucks for roofies so you can **** that fat short-haired lumpy-looking vegan hipster girl at the rooftop party you’ll be attending every night this week in Williamsburg.
I’ll be at the Agnostic Front show this Sunday at the Crazy Donkey in Farmingdale (That’s on Long Island, **** exists outside of Brooklyn and LES, go look into it). I’ll throw a bike into the back of my car for ya.
Send me a pic and I’ll send you mine so we know to look for each other. Just come and say hello at the show and we’ll work it out, bro.

Your New Friend
P.S. I accidentally picked up an ipod too that day, which is strange because I never owned one. Bunch of crappy emo music on it, so erased it all and uploaded some Judas Priest, Venom and Slayer onto it. If you ask nicely you can have it back.
* Location: Hipsterville* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

I agree with eltwitcho, too many generalizations and examples of machismo. It was funny for a while but that guy is no less messed up than the kid if all he said was actually true.

so because i think it was a valid reason to beat the **** out of the kid because he A) ran a red and hits a car, causing $700+ in damage B) proceeds to yell, blaming the driver of the car, who was driving through a green light intersection and had the right of way C) Punches the man in the head and then shoulder after he offers to help you and call an ambulance. i have a complex?

the man was provoked and the kid deserved a beating. did he go to far, by smashing his iPhone and jumping on his bag, yes. But that does not negate the fact that the story was funny, or the kid got himself into a fight he could not compete in.

if i have a complex, for believing the man was sudo in his right to fight the kid, then you need to come of you white high horse and take a look back at yourself.

pseudo...

It'd have been much more funny if that whole post was for him selling the iPod.

N.B. All this is according to the driver. I've been called a "fcking idiot" by drivers for banging on their window while they right hook me as well. You're going to take the word of someone who states he is automatically superior over a cyclist because he's driving a car? That's interesting....

i guess you didn't really read my post. i wasn't talking about any of the things the man said about his "Machismo" or how tough he thought he was. i was defending the fact that i thought he wasn't in the wrong to beat the kid up. go head, you can go back and read what i wrote, I'll give you the time (yes, that is sarcasm).




It got pretty pathetic how many times the guy had to justify his own toughness.

again not justifying the man stating his "toughness."




Does not follow.

i am being told i have a complex because i think the kid deserved part of what he got. he instigated a fight, and lost, badly. (if you go back and read i also stated the guy went to far by smashing the kids phone and jumping on his bag). i was implying that i was not the one with the complex was helloamerican for getting up on a high horse talking down to me.

That was great. Reading stuff like this makes me want to get rid of my fixed. The novelty wears off real quick.

i was defending the fact that i thought he wasn't in the wrong to beat the kid up. go head, you can go back and read what i wrote, I'll give you the time (yes, that is sarcasm).


I don't know if it's always a good move to jump right to condescension before being totally sure you follow the conversation.

I know you think he wasn't in the wrong to beat the guy up. I said you base this assumption on the driver's version of events, which isn't always reliable.

Maybe if you waited until you finished reading before trying to come up with a sarcastic response you'd avoid this confusion in the future.


That was great. Reading stuff like this makes me want to get rid of my fixed. The novelty wears off real quick.

Totally. What's the point of having a bike if other people have totally negated whatever cool points you would have scored for riding said bike...

Esp if it's true this kid ran the light, he isn't going to get a lick of help from the cops after instigating the fight, so he'd better keep that plate number to himself.

If you run a red light in your car, and I hit you with my car, then proceed to get out of my car, beat the crap out of you, break your phone, destroy your belongings, and steal your iPod, I'm fairly sure that the judge is going to side with me. The worst I'd get is a ticket for running a red, and maybe I'd have to pay for your car to get fixed, which wouldn't matter to you much because you'd be in jail.

Same thing goes for the kid on the bike. He's got a ton of legal recourse, and this mongoloid is even stupid enough to tell the kid where he's going to be at a given time. If I were the kid, I'd get the cops to go to the Agnostic Front (once again, it's 2009, what the hell?) show, arrest this "man", and press charges. The ticket for running a red light would be more than justified by the thousands to millions of dollars of compensation and knowing that this person won't be a danger to society any longer.

It's also important to note that we're only seeing things from the driver's perspective, and even from his perspective, it's difficult to sympathize with him. I'm willing to bet that the kid didn't hit him until this 30-something high school dropout at least pushed him or threatened him.

If you run a red light in your car, and I hit you with my car, then proceed to get out of my car, beat the crap out of you, break your phone, destroy your belongings, and steal your iPod, I'm fairly sure that the judge is going to side with me. The worst I'd get is a ticket for running a red, and maybe I'd have to pay for your car to get fixed, which wouldn't matter to you much because you'd be in jail.

That's not the situation in the CL post -- you left out the part where the kid punched the driver. If the driver's story is accurate, you can bet the cops, judge, and most anyone else won't side with the kid on the bike unless he's in traction.


It's also important to note that we're only seeing things from the driver's perspective, and even from his perspective, it's difficult to sympathize with him. I'm willing to bet that the kid didn't hit him until this 30-something high school dropout at least pushed him or threatened him.

If the driver's story is true, then I can sympathize, even if he could have shown more restraint, and even if he doesn't sound like the sort of guy I'd hang out with after work. But sure, he might be lying, in which case he's an asshat for what he did.

So some kid decides he's going to assault a big scary looking hardcore dude, who kicks his ass and then goes off to his computer to write about it on the internet??? Come on now.

This is BS.

[quote=elTwitcho;8459453]I don't know if it's always a good move to jump right to condescension before being totally sure you follow the conversation.

I know you think he wasn't in the wrong to beat the guy up. I said you base this assumption on the driver's version of events, which isn't always reliable.

Maybe if you waited until you finished reading before trying to come up with a sarcastic response you'd avoid this confusion in the future. QUOTE]

we are all basing our responses on the drives version. so your re-buttle to me is coming from the same story of the events that took place as mine. also i am not the one that is confused, you were in fact that person. and my comment that confused you was not directed at you.


this story could all be bunk. but it was still funny

Why was this guy wearing combat boots and flight jacket with hair down to his ass?

Sorcery.

That was great. Reading stuff like this makes me want to get rid of my fixed. The novelty wears off real quick.

Wat??

That was great. Reading stuff like this makes me want to get rid of my fixed. The novelty wears off real quick.

So it's like a haircut or something?

Whatever happens legally and otherwise, I really hope that the hipster gets together with that fat short-haired lumpy-looking vegan hipster girl at the rooftop party.

They sound like such a cute couple.

Why was this guy wearing combat boots and flight jacket with hair down to his ass?

its required when listening to slayer and venom nowadays...

if i have a complex, for believing the man was sudo in his right to fight the kid, then you need to come of you white high horse and take a look back at yourself.

I don't think he had any right to fight the kid. I think he had a right to defend himself, yes. Is that what he did? No. Definitely 100% no.The man (being the +80lbs and whatever other dick enlarging bull**** he spewed) could have neutralized the fight faster than it took him to break the kid up- and his ****.

and you certainly have a complex if you are literally excited by the idea of fighting someone in such a way as this racist illogical **** did.


oh an ps, you realize if this is real, that the idiot in the car is facing much heavier criminal charges than the kid who ran the light. (if he really did run a light and gorilla man didn't just jump his)

I don't think he had any right to fight the kid. I think he had a right to defend himself, yes. Is that what he did? No. Definitely 100% no.The man (being the +80lbs and whatever other dick enlarging bull**** he spewed) could have neutralized the fight faster than it took him to break the kid up- and his ****.

and you certainly have a complex if you are literally excited by the idea of fighting someone in such a way as this racist illogical **** did.


oh an ps, you realize if this is real, that the idiot in the car is facing much heavier criminal charges than the kid who ran the light. (if he really did run a light and gorilla man didn't just jump his)


so because the man listened to Agnostic Front now he is a racist. Hmmmm, seems like you are trying to make him out to be a villain here, and not just some "assshole." Now who said i was excited? now you are going and putting word in my mouth, thank you, but i do not appreciate it. not when it is something i didn't even imply. I said i found the whole story funny. i said i thought the man was in his right to beat the kid up, he was the one being assaulted. i said he did go to far by smashing his phone and bag and taking his iPod. could he have ben a little more "gentle", yes. did i ever say he shouldn't "face charges?" nope, in fact i did not. i never defended his behavior, i never really defended his action. i said his action in beating the kid up after he was hit 2 times (once in the face. how would you yourself react if someone punches you in the face?)was warranted. and in that i did say he went to far. the only thing i ended up defending was myself against your comment that i had a complex. and to conclude, we are all basing our responses by the story we all read, from the drivers point of view. if you want to skew that in you mind to make me look and seem like an *******, that is you prerogative. i hope it helps you sleep better tonight. if i read the story from the bikers point of view, my response would probably be different, due to the fact that i am sure his story would state the guy in the car ran the red, or hit it to early.
i wait your response, through you may not get mine until tomorrow, i do have a lot of work to do, and i have spent far to much time online today.

p.s. thank you for only quoting and reacting to half of what i said to you, and basing your response on me defending myself to your accusations against my person.

edit: i stand corrected on the racism issue.

Seriously the guy listens to slayer judas priest, and VENOM. Why on earth would that make him cool. Plus he probably does that "push me i push you back for an hour" crap. Agnostic front Are they even around anymore, I was at one of their shows in wilmington a long time ago. But Seriously the guy needs to cut his hair, take a bath, and move out of his moms house, and get a job.

so because the man listened to Agnostic Front now he is a racist.


uhhh...listening to AF doesn't make him racist so much as the random litany of racist stuff in the post, no? Maybe you missed it.

uhhh...listening to AF doesn't make him racist so much as the random litany of racist stuff in the post, no? Maybe you missed it.

i stand corrected. rendering is taking longer than i expected so i stopped back in. i skimmed the article again and saw a few words i had forgotten were said. he did in fact say racist things.

That was great. Reading stuff like this makes me want to get rid of my fixed. The novelty wears off real quick.

In this entire, ridiculous thread what you said irritates me the most.

^second that

Really?

Some skinny wimp probably riding around at 10mph who might flail at you with his fists after crashing into you isn't all that scary.

Someone who says "learn this lesson kid, I'm superior because I AM OPERATING A COMBUSTIBLE ENGINE VEHICLE MADE OF STEEL. Car wins over bike" is a problem. Especially if they think they're macho because they have "hair to their ass" and listen to slayer and venom (seriously, VENOM???) and basically beat up the equivalent of a 13 year old.

It was kind of funny for a bit, but then it just got pathetic and sad

No, some little skinny wimp (or anyone) probably riding around at 10mph, who might flail at you with his fists after crashing into you, that also thinks he's right no matter what getting his ass kicked is pretty ****ing funny, no matter who kicks his ass!

as much as the guys probably an *******, I sure wanted to kick the hipsters ass as well.