Foo - Marriage - a solution to citizenship

What do you think of people that marry someone to allow them to stay in this country?
Is it OK, even if they don't plan to spend the rest of their lives together?

Discuss.

It is illegal to do so in many countries, including the US. Recently a major league baseball player was deported for taking part in a scam marriage.

:notamused:

How much were you offered?

Seems like you're asking to let some tramp from Russia force you to pay alimony.

I wouldn't do it, but other reasons.

I used to work with a guy who had done an Asian mail order bride at one time. He said he knew she was only marrying him to get to the U.S. and get her citizenship. He wasn't surprised or even angry when she divorced him. His response was, "hey....I got to have sex with a smokin' hot woman for about 5 years for <x> dollars....it was worth it."

I used to work with a guy who had done an Asian mail order bride at one time. He said he knew she was only marrying him to get to the U.S. and get her citizenship. He wasn't surprised or even angry when she divorced him. His response was, "hey....I got to have sex with a smokin' hot woman for about 5 years for <x> dollars....it was worth it."

That's disgusting in so many ways.

That's disgusting in so many ways.

Uh-Huh! :thumb:

definitely not thinking of doing it; I know someone, and our discussion always gets heated. It just pisses me off, she always gives me crap because of my divorce, etc. like the pot calling the kettle black.

That's disgusting in so many ways.

then again... HOW hot??

what was that website again?

I'm surprised that no one has mentioned the sanctity of a marriage, IMO stuff like that takes away from it.

I'm surprised that no one has mentioned the sanctity of a marriage, IMO stuff like that takes away from it.

:lol:

Anyway, I've got a friend who married a chick from South America so her daughter could get good medical care for a heart condition, it works out well for both of them.

I'm surprised that no one has mentioned the sanctity of a marriage, IMO stuff like that takes away from it.

:roflmao:

Anyway Id never do it. Call it a matter of principle.

I'm surprised that no one has mentioned the sanctity of a marriage, IMO stuff like that takes away from it.

As does Britney Spears, trophy wives, and getting married because someone finally asked you.

What do you think of people that marry someone to allow them to stay in this country?
Is it OK, even if they don't plan to spend the rest of their lives together?

Discuss.

bfd.


I used to work with a guy who had done an Asian mail order bride at one time. He said he knew she was only marrying him to get to the U.S. and get her citizenship. He wasn't surprised or even angry when she divorced him. His response was, "hey....I got to have sex with a smokin' hot woman for about 5 years for <x> dollars....it was worth it."

speaking about yourself in the 3rd person again, i see.


I'm surprised that no one has mentioned the sanctity of a marriage, IMO stuff like that takes away from it.

:roflmao2::lol::roflmao::lol::roflmao2:

I'm surprised that no one has mentioned the sanctity of a marriage, IMO stuff like that takes away from it.Been married long?

I'm surprised that no one has mentioned the sanctity of a marriage, IMO stuff like that takes away from it.

I think that went out with poodle skirts.

then again... HOW hot??

what was that website again?

http://www.bigbadchinesemama.com/

http://www.mailorderhusbands.net/order/

I like these: http://www.russianbrides.com/

I love it when some pot-bellied 45 year old bachelor with a scuzzy mustache who enjoys working the closing manager shift on Friday night at the local pizza joint (surrounds himself with 16 year old high school girls) thinks that the Maria Sharipova lookalike mail order bride will stick with him after whatever the minimum time is for obtaining her citizenship.

I have a buddy who did that. It started out as a financial situation. Years later, they seem like a happily married couple.

I suppose you could say the same for me as well. We've lived in both of our native countries and enjoyed being able to do so legally. 15 years and counting.

To me, if you don't gain some sort of financial or legal benefit from getting married, then you might as well just forget it. (not to say you can't have a committed relationship, but there is no point in getting the government involved unless it'll benefit me personally).

I like these: http://www.russianbrides.com/

These advertisements are like those for hamburgers. In the glossy ads the burgers look stacked, plump and juicy. When you get one for yourself, it's flat, dry and disappointing. Just sayin'

These advertisements are like those for hamburgers. In the glossy ads the burgers look stacked, plump and juicy. When you get one for yourself, it's flat, dry and disappointing. Just sayin'

Personal experience?

Personal experience?

Not even close. My wife is home grown, volumtuous, loving and sassy. My hamburger analogy was just an observation. Oh, when my wife and I argue, I always get in the last word. It's, "Yes dear."

What do you think of people that marry someone to allow them to stay in this country?
Is it OK, even if they don't plan to spend the rest of their lives together?

Discuss.

Marriage is a bond between two people that confirms a joint agreement to lifelong commitment to each other. If that virtue is upheld, I'm fine with it however which way it's arranged.

Unfortunately, "nationalization" marriages don't always end the best. From the stories that I've read, some people have gotten seriously screwed from them, both financially and emotionally.

90% of people that marry do not spend the rest of their lives together. Most people divorce anyway regardless of country of origin. Those who do know they will divorce, are not criminals. They just understand statistics. The rest are very lucky or in denial.

Marriage is a bond between two people that confirms a joint agreement to lifelong commitment to each other. If that virtue is upheld, I'm fine with it however which way it's arranged.

Gee, thanks for defining marriage for all the people in this world. We certainly wouldn't want anyone to be allowed a difference approach to life, with different expectations for what they are committing to, and not committing to, when they join in the legal arrangement know as marriage. (personally, we take it one day at a time, and have never made any declarations of "lifelong" commitment or forsaking all others to death do us part, or any of that other stuff that christian types seem to think ought to apply to all marriages.

I think that went out with poodle skirts.

Truth :thumb:

Agree that more than half of all marriages in this country end up in divorce (sometimes twice, three times).
Other parts of the world, marriages are pre-arranged. Some marriages are for convenience . . . o-o-o-p-s, got pregnant, kid needs a daddy/mommy. Lifelong commitments do not necessarily need a piece of paper or ceremony.
Been married (Happily!!!) for only 54 years.

I have a buddy who did that. It started out as a financial situation. Years later, they seem like a happily married couple.

Did she only get her into Canada?

Agree that more than half of all marriages in this country end up in divorce (sometimes twice, three times).I think the stat is half within 3-years or some such. In the long-run, it's much higher than that.

Did she only get her into Canada?

The original plan was to marry my buddy to get citizenship, yes. They did not plan on staying together. He has tried to talk me into it. I really dont want any part of that.

Marriage is a bond between two people. I'm okay with whatever they do as long as there's no physical, verbal, or emotional abuse.

What do you think of people that marry someone to allow them to stay in this country?
Is it OK, even if they don't plan to spend the rest of their lives together?

Marrying someone to help them out (i.e. keep them from being deported someplace where life is much harder or possibly more dangerous) is better than the common practice of marrying someone because of their wealth, youth, or position. Going out on a limb for others is a good thing.

Agree that more than half of all marriages in this country end up in divorce (sometimes twice, three times).
Other parts of the world, marriages are pre-arranged. Some marriages are for convenience . . . o-o-o-p-s, got pregnant, kid needs a daddy/mommy. Lifelong commitments do not necessarily need a piece of paper or ceremony.

I've seen these stats. One thing that drives divorce numbers up is that people who can't keep married keep trying and failing. The percentage of people who make it stick on one try is actually quite high.

Prearranged marriages have very high success rates. They're a misunderstood custom in the US, as at least in the ones I'm aware of (which is quite a few), achieving a good match is a major concern of the families. Also, people who enter a relationship with the expectation that they will need to work to make things happen do better overall than those who bail as soon as they think they're facing something they didn't bargain for. The commitment comes from the attitude, not the paper.

Gee, thanks for defining marriage for all the people in this world. We certainly wouldn't want anyone to be allowed a difference approach to life, with different expectations for what they are committing to, and not committing to, when they join in the legal arrangement know as marriage. (personally, we take it one day at a time, and have never made any declarations of "lifelong" commitment or forsaking all others to death do us part, or any of that other stuff that christian types seem to think ought to apply to all marriages.

I respect your opinion, but I hold and (will attempt to) abide by the traditional definition, which is a lifelong commitment. If I'm going to marry knowing that divorce will be a possibility, I might as well not do it unless there are clear benefits for doing so.

I've seen these stats. One thing that drives divorce numbers up is that people who can't keep married keep trying and failing. The percentage of people who make it stick on one try is actually quite high.

Prearranged marriages have very high success rates. They're a misunderstood custom in the US, as at least in the ones I'm aware of (which is quite a few), achieving a good match is a major concern of the families. Also, people who enter a relationship with the expectation that they will need to work to make things happen do better overall than those who bail as soon as they think they're facing something they didn't bargain for. The commitment comes from the attitude, not the paper.

I talked to someone I used to work with about this. He was from India, and prearranged marriages are the norm there. He, of course, was pre-arranged with his wife, whom he never met before the arrangement. From what he explained to me, pre-arranged marriages ultimately work because the two people have no other choice but to co-exist with each other, and accept each other's differences. This is the key divide; "modern" marriages are less stern about this, from what I can tell.

Prearranged marriages have very high success rates. They're a misunderstood custom in the US, as at least in the ones I'm aware of (which is quite a few), achieving a good match is a major concern of the families. Also, people who enter a relationship with the expectation that they will need to work to make things happen do better overall than those who bail as soon as they think they're facing something they didn't bargain for. The commitment comes from the attitude, not the paper.

You do have a point that people start off with the idea that they are going to make it work, but dont underestimate the taboo that it is to get a divorce. Speaking from the Indian perspective, divorce is still taboo and talked under hushed tones and with great shame. Another factor to consider is that the traditional role of women has been to start a family and be a housewife. Couple this with the fact that women used to be undereducated and dependent on the husband for income, one can see why the women were under pressure to make it work. Things are changing rapidly though. Women are more and more independent, educated and many of them can support themselves if they get out of a marriage that they don't want in. The social taboo still exists but the way I view it, its only a matter of time before the nation gets more progressive. I wouldnt be surprised that a couple of generations from now, divorce rates increase and the number of arranged marriages decrease as well.

Things are changing rapidly though. Women are more and more independent, educated and many of them can support themselves if they get out of a marriage that they don't want in. The social taboo still exists but the way I view it, its only a matter of time before the nation gets more progressive. I wouldnt be surprised that a couple of generations from now, divorce rates increase and the number of arranged marriages decrease as well.

Hardly progress. Baby..bath water

"arranged marriages" is a bit of a misnomer. from what i saw with indian friends, the marriage isn't arranged. it is more like family arranged dating service. they get to date from a number of family approved choices, so they are matched in terms of family background and the dating decides if the emotional match works.

Hardly progress. Baby..bath water

"arranged marriages" is a bit of a misnomer. from what i saw with indian friends, the marriage isn't arranged. it is more like family arranged dating service. they get to date from a number of family approved choices, so they are matched in terms of family background and the dating decides if the emotional match works.
Uhhh, maybe it's different in different areas. My wife's friend/colleague is part of an arranged marriage. She met her husband on her wedding day, literally, and didn't do any pre-approved dating prior to that.

Hardly progress. Baby..bath water

"arranged marriages" is a bit of a misnomer. from what i saw with indian friends, the marriage isn't arranged. it is more like family arranged dating service. they get to date from a number of family approved choices, so they are matched in terms of family background and the dating decides if the emotional match works.

I assure you its not dating in any definition you would find in the western world. You may get to meet the person once or twice and then you get engaged and then you may hangout a bit. There is not a chance of sampling the goods either, if you know what I mean.

Its a pretty backwards ass system based sometimes on astrology bull**** and basically a means of keeping exclusivity.

I assure you its not dating in any definition you would find in the western world. You may get to meet the person once or twice and then you get engaged and then you may hangout a bit. There is not a chance of sampling the goods either, if you know what I mean.

Its a pretty backwards ass system based sometimes on astrology bull**** and basically a means of keeping exclusivity.

i guess there must be regional variations. i know 3 indian friends who dated a selection of people formally introduced to them by family. then dated their prefered choice for about 6months to a year before setting the date.

i guess there must be regional variations. i know 3 indian friends who dated a selection of people formally introduced to them by family. then dated their prefered choice for about 6months to a year before setting the date.

that might very well be and your friends might be a lot more progressive.

I think the stat is half within 3-years or some such. In the long-run, it's much higher than that.

No, it is 50% of all marriages end in divorce. The others stay together. In fact, the clumps are at 18 months or so, 7 years, and when the kids leave.

All for different reasons.