Mountain Biking - Read the fine print (legal disclaimers)

I just recently bought my very first Surly single speed cog.

http://i156.photobucket.com/albums/t24/Rollopics/surly20T.jpg

It came with a very eco-friendly package (recycled cardboard printed with soy ink??) but I just had to laugh when I read the legal disclaimer inside the packaging... so when did lawyers start using "cool english" of the sudden, instead of legal gibberish? :) I kinda like it, it's refreshing.

Here are a few excerpts:

Please read all these instructions before you...

... our trusty legal counsel compels us to point out that if this installation isn't done properly, YOU COULD DIE riding your bike, which would make us sad.

What this warranty doesn't cover is damage resulting from any sort of riding other than "normal"... we're hip to the "just riding along" phenomenon - and frankly, we're just not having it.

Lastly, if you modify or neglect your cog or lockring we can't be responsible for the product or what might happen to you while you're using it. We hate to spell it out, but hey, it's the 21st century.

:D



BTW really well made cog, it's really stiff too. I bought a 20T because the one I pinched from a 9speed cassette was flexy when being hammered and prone to shifting - OUCH!! My chain "pulse" also disappeared because this thing is just perfectly centered. Real happy with it... :thumb: except for the price... :( but quality always has a cost I suppose.

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Surly makes great stuff. Running one of their stainless steel 50tooth chainrings on my pista and a singleator on the dmr.

They sure do Dan... I expected it from the price tag, but the quality still surprised me with item on hand.


Re the topic... have you seen any funny disclaimers lately?

What get's me is this "death" thing that seems to be creeping in some of the legal disclaimers nowadays. This one from a basketball hoop label in big bold letters:

"WARNING: Improper installation or swinging on this ring may cause serious injury or death."

I mean :) the last word I would want to see on a label would be the word "death" and I'm amused as to why it really needs to be mentioned.



I've seen some other funny stuff on bike frames and components too, I'll have a dig...
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Just the stuff with surly.

My Giro ski helmet came with some pretty funny writing.

My Giro ski helmet came with some pretty funny writing.

I believe this is the part where the OP wants you to share what it says...but I could be wrong.

:)

I believe this is the part where the OP wants you to share what it says...but I could be wrong.

Oh, but that would require me looking for and finding the manual. Actually, I was going to write it but I couldn't find it. Once I do, I'll write up a couple of the phrases.

Well, I didn't see any shinanigans:

http://www.giro.com/site/newfiles/pdf/Manual_Snow_US_Multi_Sport_09.pdf

Well, I didn't see any shinanigans:

http://www.giro.com/site/newfiles/pdf/Manual_Snow_US_Multi_Sport_09.pdf

This is a sample of what I found amusing.


HOW TO ADJUST THE STRAPS
The front of your helmet should fall just above your eyebrows. If the front is
too low, you won’t be able to see hazards like cliff edges and young freestyle
prodigies. If the front is too high, you’ll look like a geek and your helmet will not
provide as much protection as when positioned properly (Figure 1). Try strapping
your goggles on.

You’ve no doubt noticed the straps hanging off your helmet. As plush as they
are, they’re not there just to warm your cheeks. They are designed to keep your
helmet on by buckling under your lower jaw.

:lol:

This is a sample of what I found amusing.

...as much protection as when positioned properly (Figure 1). Try strapping
your goggles on.

Goggles?!??

Is it a full face DH helmet?

Goggles?!??

Is it a full face DH helmet?

Snow helmet.

Goggles?!?? Is it a full face DH helmet?Aviator's lid I believe.

http://premierpetnutrition.com/images/dog%20with%20goggles.jpg

...shinanigans...

shEnanigans

:)

......this thread rocks hard!

......this thread rhubarbs!Fixed.

Im a law student and all i can tell. is it seems to me the new thing in the legal profession is to disclaim every thing.. Kinda like the drowning warning on a bucket or if you notice laptop computers are now called notebooks. this is because people were getting there laps burned and won a bunch money.

lol...i love warning labels like this

Im a law student and all i can tell. is it seems to me the new thing in the legal profession is to disclaim every thing.. Kinda like the drowning warning on a bucket or if you notice laptop computers are now called notebooks. this is because people were getting there laps burned and won a bunch money.You are a law student? :eek:

Im a law student and all i can tell. is it seems to me the new thing in the legal profession is to disclaim every thing.. Kinda like the drowning warning on a bucket or if you notice laptop computers are now called notebooks. this is because people were getting there laps burned and won a bunch money.

They're still called laptops, they just have a warning about them getting warm.

I still find it worrying when you see bikes advertised as mountain bikes, and then when you take a closer look there is a sticker somewhere saying "not for offroad use".

I'm just waiting for the day when a mountain bike warning label would include "do not use near high-tension electric towers!" seeing as there's so many threads here about them... :lol:

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Here's one from a 50mm Stem I picked from a catalogue, MTB section. Besides being real "short" it also had 4 bolts up front, which to me are the features of a proper DH or freeride-able stem. Notice the first part about the warning that talks about the owner's manual... for a stem?!?



http://i156.photobucket.com/albums/t24/Rollopics/stem-label.jpg



Second part was what got me stumped until I noticed that the 4 bolts up front were only 5mm size!

OK, fair enough, times have changed and I wasn't paying attention to the fact that XC stem designs (and roadie stems too) had adopted the 4 bolt design up front. So next time I'll be more careful... but a 50mm shorty stem for XC use???

Times have really changed! :rolleyes:

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I use a 65mm for XC and I love it. I'd never go back. Plus mid-air handling is a good bit better.

Yeah, same here... I'd never go longer than a 75mm as far as stems is concerned.

Funny you mentioned about mid-air handling, which is one of the reasons why I go "short-stem." But doesn't "getting air" cross into the realm of "aggressive off-road riding?" which amuses me about the product I have :)

... but a 50mm shorty stem for XC use??? Times have really changed! I know - - and riser bars and disc brakes . . . what the heck? :).

Yeah! :) ... what about external BB bearings and with oversized hollow crank axles... not for DH use? haha

Yes I'm a Law Student... Didn't know i was graded on spelling and grammar on a forum. I guess I'll treat it like a law review article. No more contractions sorry professor

shEnanigans

:)


shEnanigans

:)

Thanks for correcting my spelling...was your second (nearly duplicate) post intentional or should I correct that for ya?:lol:

Yes I'm a Law Student... Didn't know i was graded on spelling and grammar on a forum. I guess I'll treat it like a law review article. No more contractions sorry professorGiving you a bad time . . . BUT, take every writing opportunity seriously and an opportunity to write clearly and effectively. Besides, you'll get a bit more cred if you're legible ;).

Thanks for correcting my spelling...was your second (nearly duplicate) post intentional or should I correct that for ya?:lol:

there was a duplicate post?

Hmmm...

Anyways, thanks for telling! I'll go delete it now!!


Yes I'm a Law Student... Didn't know i was graded on spelling and grammar on a forum. I guess I'll treat it like a law review article. No more contractions sorry professor

Yes, punctuation is included too.

A period after professor, please!!

:p :D

Yes I'm a Law Student... Didn't know i was graded on spelling and grammar on a forum. I guess I'll treat it like a law review article. No more contractions sorry professor

You could do with adding a comma or two. Also a full stop at the end wouldn't go a miss and I'm a bit confused by the double spacing after guess.

Sorry, I just had to, dw about it.

Rrrrrring, ring. "Hello, you have reached the voicemail for martyg6. Martyg6 has voluntarily left the premise for an undetermined length of time. If you'd like to continue leaving messages for martyg6...feel free to do so, but he won't be responding due to the ultimate heavy-handed abuse that he has suffered by all of the terrible and unbearable people that live in this neighborhood...Beeeeeeep.":rolleyes:

he won't be responding due to the ultimate heavy-handed abuse that he has suffered by all of the terrible and unbearable people that live in this neighborhood

Oy, I had to put up with the same, you still call me Ralph. I'm sure he'll get over it.

It's a term of endearment. I can't call you "D"...that's reserved for Doug.

It's a term of endearment. I can't call you "D"...that's reserved for Doug.

I know, your all love and squishyness really...

I do have to admit, Dheorl is a bit of an awkward one. Mind you, at least no one on here has called me Oheori yet :twitchy:

Would it matter? Does either one mean something where you're from?

Legal Warning/Disclaimer:
Flirting is not permitted in this thread. In such situations where endearment (including terms of endearment, not withstanding other forms such as abbreviations and acronyms of aforementioned endearments) are expressed, the offending parties shall be fined a minimum of minus 3 posting privileges however not exceeding minus 6 posting privileges, unless the following conditions are met;
a) get a room,
b) refrain from all forms of future endearments or flirtations,
c) keep to the topic,
d) forgiveness to be wholeheartedly attributed to the OP for this stupid post in particular, and
e) all of the previous options or any two or more variations thereof as long as item "d" is included.
Failure to comply may cause injury or even death of this thread. This thread contains moving parts that can pose as a choking, gagging and/or reaching hazard and is therefore not recommended for mountain bikers over the age of 3.

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Well...maybe term of "endearment" was a bit harsh, Ralph.

I guess I was just old fashioned...slamming you to the ground with a rude obnoxious nickname :thumb:

Whenever I see it, my mind says "D-Whirly."

I think I've got a bit lost somewhere along this thread.

The reason I don't like Oheori is because it makes me sound like a cookie. It was a name which was designed to look normal but be awfully hard to pronounce though so I geuss it works.

I'm confused as to what your last sentence is on about Chel. All I think of when I hear the name Ralph is the character from Lord of the Flies.

Anyways, back to legal disclaimers please people.

... you could die riding your bike, which would make us sad.

I lol'd.

See if the 'you' had died, they wouldnt have any sales from the 'you'!!


YOU COULD DIE riding your bike, which would make us Mad.

Fixed.

nurd