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05-26-04, 07:33 AM
>The following questions and answers were collected from last
> > >>>year's GCSE exams, and are some of the answers given by British
> > >>>students writing their GCSE Exams last year. These are genuine
> > >>>responses!!!
> >>>
> > >>>Geography
> > >>>Q: Name the four seasons.
> > >>>A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
> > >>>
> > >>>Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to
> > >>>drink.
> > >>>A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large
> > >>>pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
> > >>>
> > >>>Q: How is dew formed?
> > >>>A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
> > >>>
> > >>>Q: What is a planet?
> > >>>A: A body of earth surrounded by sky.
> > >>>
> > >>>Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
> > >>>A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water
> > >>>tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the
> > >>>moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in
> > >>>this fight.
> > >>>
> > >>>
> > >>>Sociology
> > >>>Q: What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
> > >>>A: If you are buying a house, they will insist you are well
> > >>>endowed.
> > >>>
> > >>>Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections?
> > >>>A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an
> > >>>election.
> > >>>
> > >>>Q: What are steroids?
> > >>>A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
> > >>>
> > >>>Biology
> > >>>Q: What happens to your body as you age?
> > >>>A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get
> > >>>intercontinental.
> > >>>
> > >>>Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
> > >>>A: He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his
> > >>>adultery.
>
>
> > >>>
> > >>>Q; Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
> > >>>A: Premature death.
> > >>>
> > >>>Q: What is artificial insemination?
> > >>>A: When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.
> > >>>
> > >>>Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
> > >>>A: Keep it in the cow. [He got an A]
> > >>>
> > >>>Q: How are the main parts of the body categorised? (e.g. abdomen.)
> > >>>A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the
> > >>>borax, the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the
> > >>>borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity
> > >>>contains the five bowels, A,E,I,O and U.
> > >>>
> > >>>
> > >>>Q: What is the Fibula?
> > >>>A: A small lie.
> > >>>
> > >>>Q: What does "varicose" mean?
> > >>>A: Nearby.
> > >>>
> > >>>Q: What is the most common form of birth control?
> > >>>A: Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.
> > >>>
> > >>>Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section."
> > >>>A: The caesarean section is a district in Rome.
> > >>>
> > >>>Q: What is a seizure?
> > >>>A: A Roman emperor.
> > >>>
> > >>>Q: What is a terminal illness?
> > >>>A: When you are sick at the airport.
> > >>>
> > >>>Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
> > >>>A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like
> > >>>umbrellas.
> > >>>
> > >>>English
> > >>>Q: Use the word "judicious" in a sentence to show you understand
> > >>>its meaning.
> > >>>A: Hands that judicious can be soft as your face.
> > >>>
> > >>>Q: What does the word "benign" mean?
> > >>>A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
> > >>>
> > >>>Technology
> > >>>Q: What is a turbine?
> > >>>A: Something an Arab or Sikh wears on his head
> > >>>year's GCSE exams, and are some of the answers given by British
> > >>>students writing their GCSE Exams last year. These are genuine
> > >>>responses!!!
> >>>
> > >>>Geography
> > >>>Q: Name the four seasons.
> > >>>A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
> > >>>
> > >>>Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to
> > >>>drink.
> > >>>A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large
> > >>>pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
> > >>>
> > >>>Q: How is dew formed?
> > >>>A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
> > >>>
> > >>>Q: What is a planet?
> > >>>A: A body of earth surrounded by sky.
> > >>>
> > >>>Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
> > >>>A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water
> > >>>tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the
> > >>>moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in
> > >>>this fight.
> > >>>
> > >>>
> > >>>Sociology
> > >>>Q: What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
> > >>>A: If you are buying a house, they will insist you are well
> > >>>endowed.
> > >>>
> > >>>Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections?
> > >>>A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an
> > >>>election.
> > >>>
> > >>>Q: What are steroids?
> > >>>A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
> > >>>
> > >>>Biology
> > >>>Q: What happens to your body as you age?
> > >>>A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get
> > >>>intercontinental.
> > >>>
> > >>>Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
> > >>>A: He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his
> > >>>adultery.
>
>
> > >>>
> > >>>Q; Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
> > >>>A: Premature death.
> > >>>
> > >>>Q: What is artificial insemination?
> > >>>A: When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.
> > >>>
> > >>>Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
> > >>>A: Keep it in the cow. [He got an A]
> > >>>
> > >>>Q: How are the main parts of the body categorised? (e.g. abdomen.)
> > >>>A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the
> > >>>borax, the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the
> > >>>borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity
> > >>>contains the five bowels, A,E,I,O and U.
> > >>>
> > >>>
> > >>>Q: What is the Fibula?
> > >>>A: A small lie.
> > >>>
> > >>>Q: What does "varicose" mean?
> > >>>A: Nearby.
> > >>>
> > >>>Q: What is the most common form of birth control?
> > >>>A: Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.
> > >>>
> > >>>Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section."
> > >>>A: The caesarean section is a district in Rome.
> > >>>
> > >>>Q: What is a seizure?
> > >>>A: A Roman emperor.
> > >>>
> > >>>Q: What is a terminal illness?
> > >>>A: When you are sick at the airport.
> > >>>
> > >>>Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
> > >>>A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like
> > >>>umbrellas.
> > >>>
> > >>>English
> > >>>Q: Use the word "judicious" in a sentence to show you understand
> > >>>its meaning.
> > >>>A: Hands that judicious can be soft as your face.
> > >>>
> > >>>Q: What does the word "benign" mean?
> > >>>A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
> > >>>
> > >>>Technology
> > >>>Q: What is a turbine?
> > >>>A: Something an Arab or Sikh wears on his head