Northern California - What are your favorite trash-talks while riding?

I chuckled the other day when I heard one guy passing his buddy on Page Mill saying "maybe you need to start riding". Instead of focusing on how painful it was climbing Tunitas later that day, I started to compile some of the possible zingers. I couldn't come up with too many, since I'm rarely in the situation of dishing out and not getting any back. But I'd be curious to hear yours.

...But I'd be curious to hear yours.

That's a pretty good one. It's not a zinger, but more of just playing around. Last week on our second climb up Diablo, I was sitting on my friends wheel for a bit. He was showing signs of weakness. Before he could dig deep into his suitcase of courage, I started rapidly "clicking" my brake handle creating a sound of something awful happening with his derailleur. It wasn't until another mile when he figured it was me.

BR

Sometimes at the Junction of Mount Diablo, first timers ask me about Summit Road. I tell them there's a false flat right at the top.

My main one is "Is this your first ride or something?!?!" when they make a dumb move.

I also like "Hey, nice climbing, Sally!!" I find that to be highly effective.

"Ride often?"

And, though I don't get to use it nearly as often as I'd like:
"I'll wait at the top."

And, though I don't get to use it nearly as often as I'd like:
"I'll wait at the top."I think that'd be even funnier coming from the passee.

*pant* *gasp* I'll... *gasp* wait for you at *pant* the top!

A guy passed me on either OLH or Tunitas the other day, and said, "It's a good day to die."

A guy passed me on either OLH or Tunitas the other day, and said, "It's a good day to die."

I feel like I would remember exactly where this happened...

:lol:
Sometimes at the Junction of Mount Diablo, first timers ask me about Summit Road. I tell them there's a false flat right at the top.

"Move over ladies! Men coming through"

That one is like a rock in a hornets nest!

Sometimes at the Junction of Mount Diablo, first timers ask me about Summit Road. I tell them there's a false flat right at the top.

That's just cruel!:lol:

Speaking of Mt. D. - I was riding up it my first season, just back on the bike after a 15 year break and someone comes up behind me and says, "I always admire it when some of you bigger guys can climb this mountain!" :notamused:

JB

"Move over ladies! Men coming through"

That one is like a rock in a hornets nest!

LOL - there are certain TNT alumni events where I do NOT admit I know you!

OH, BTW, frame pumps are now standard equipment for those cyclists:innocent:

JB

A guy passed me on either OLH or Tunitas the other day, and said, "It's a good day to die."

Did he look like this?

http://www.emse.fr/%7Eyukna/WOIf/worf.jpg

"Enough of this Sunday stroll... Let's hurt a little!"

And

"you can't die. You've got like a moustache and everything."

:d
This was supposed to be a grin, but for some reason the emoticon didn't work.
Anyway, I just like to look over and grin before I attack.

One day when I was touring in Ireland, it was pouring rain (heavy downpours, poor visibility) all day with winds so bad they shut down all the ferries. (Actually every day was like this.)

I rode by someone and said, "Hello! Beautiful day!" He looked a surprised and said, "It's a bit wet." :p

"Enough of this Sunday stroll... Let's hurt a little!"



Ouch. I'll steal that one and use it very soon.

I also like "Hey, nice climbing, Sally!!" I find that to be highly effective.

This just reminded me of this one: "Does your husband also ride?" says one guy passing another guy.

Ouch. I'll steal that one and use it very soon.

Don't tell Muzzin that I ripped off his line.

http://www.starz.com/titles/AmericanFlyers/PublishingImages/american_flyers_1985_685x385.jpg

I didn't know Bruce Campbell raced for 7-11. That guy can do anything!

slap a Huffy sticker on, ride up next to them, and tell them 24 hour fitness has cheap enrollments right now

My favorite for someone who rides an expensive bike, but can't hang - "more money than leg"

"we've got a break!"

"You have a flat"

My favorite for someone who rides an expensive bike, but can't hang - "more money than leg"

That's good. Reminds me of the texan saying "All hat, no cattle"

A lot of my cyclist buddies are also co-workers. As you can imagine, smack talk is rampant here. We are a competetive bunch (amongst each other). I don't talk much smack (prefer to let my legs do the talking) but I hear some funny things....

Mike is a beast in the flats and loves to hog the front of the paceline. He will also drop anyone and not think twice about motoring off. At this year's Wildflower a part of the group fell behind. A few miles later, they catch up and Mike says "What happened? Who flatted?"

John is a 2-time Ironman. He is a monster in the hills. Sometimes he'll ride with us at a "coversational" pace (while everyone else is at 100% HR). When he gets bored with it, he simply says "I think I'm going to push off now. See ya later" He's not talking smack. Just saying it like it is.

Tim is a major sandbagger. He shows up for centuries and doubles and exclaims how out of shape he is. He'll reiterate this at the bottom of every climb and proceed to attack and hammer up the hill. Everyone's like, WTF? Now, I know better and just halfwheel him until he blows up. It's pretty fun.

A few miles later, they catch up and Mike says "What happened? Who flatted?"

This is my favorite so far :)

a few miles later, they catch up and mike says "what happened? Who flatted?"



this is my favorite so far :)

+1

"All hat, no cattle"
Or, in horse racing - "all lick, no stick".

Or, in horse racing - "all lick, no stick".

That doesn't seem to apply only to horse racing! :innocent:

"Keep riding."

A couple of years ago, I was out doing a long ride on a very hot day (90+ degrees). I was climbing OLH in my 4th hour of riding and sucking wind. A guy in full kit passed me, looked at me and said "I feel your pain, dude", and continued whizzing past me.

He didn't mean it as trash-talk, but it could easily be turned into one by yous guys.

Not exactly trash talk but when riding this evening with my friend, he kept dropping off my wheel. I kept slowing down till he caught back up then asked him "Are you OK?".

That must get old after the 3rd or 4th time.