Clydesdales/Athenas (200+ lb / 91+ kg) - A possible solution to modesty

I know bike shorts/bibs are in my future, they just make sense, but as a clyde of typical clyde physical form I think of Lycra as an enemy. Yes, I want the comfort of a stretchy waistband and the flex of the bike shorts, but the grape-smugglers.. oh the horror and lack of modesty of it all. I don't wear a speedo at the beach and I'm just not comfortable in this body for that type of clothing.

Well I think I may have the solution to my woes... I'm thinking of getting 2 or 3 ping pong balls and tossing them in there when I have to be off the bike so that onlookers can really get something interesting to look at..

What do you think?

I think your nuts.....I'd use tennis balls :D

why not wear a pair of basketball shorts over the bibs?

A pair of socks in the back.

A Keilbasa?

There's a difference between bibs and the Speedo... Bibs cover a much greater area. Sure, they're still form fitting, but there's much more of ya covered with a pair of bibs than with a Speedo.
I've never felt any immodesty issues when wearing my bibs. If people wanna stare at my junk, fine for them.

The pad also gives you a lot of...wiggle room (sorry) :lol:. Don't forget that you also don't have to be seen by that many people without the bike between your legs. I know a modest guy that semi-casually carries his helmet in front of his junk when he walks through a public place like a store or gas station.

The other thing to consider is fit. I only purchase shorts made out of thicker fabric, and are not way-tight. That way, I avoid the "see everything" problems associated with thinner and sheer fabrics, and the "human sausage" look where your torso and legs looking like over-stuffed sausages in the shorts (not what you were thinking, you deviants ;)).

Black and not-shiny fabric also helps a lot.

Take the plunge. You'll never regret it.

There's a difference between bibs and the Speedo... Bibs cover a much greater area. Sure, they're still form fitting, but there's much more of ya covered with a pair of bibs than with a Speedo.
I've never felt any immodesty issues when wearing my bibs. If people wanna stare at my junk, fine for them.

How can most NOT stare at your junk when you are so dang tall :)

Bib shorts. No coverup needed because seriously no one cares. All there is to say.

Black and not-shiny fabric also helps a lot.

So I can't wear my pink bibs anymore? Bring it on I say!

I went though this back in the day when I 1st got more into cycling (mid/late 90's) and now that i'm back i'm fighting it again but this time another 100# up lol...

in the 90's i was 16 or 17 when I got my 1st pair of real riding shorts... I always wore something over them... untill one day i went out for a ride in the middle of summer mid day... just stepping outside i was like OH CRAP... slid my over shorts off and tossed em in the house and off I went... after that I never had an issue... even stopped off at a few school functions in them (unplanned... if i planed to stop i'd bring another pair of shorts to toss on over with me)...

last summer the same thing happend... it finaly got to hot on a ride that I took the over shorts off... now I just deal with it... it's not pretty but my comfort comes before the comfort of others :) haha

Just don't take Viagra and go riding and you will be fine.

Please, nobody post that photo. You know which one. :eek:

I actually got a comment from some D-Bag backseat cager saying "Nick Crack!"

For a big guy I have surprisingly no butt. So I am prone to plumber crack. i wear long Tshirts for whatever rides I can now, just to feel better that Im not exposing myself. Not that I care, but I felt pretty embarassed when he said it. My fiancee said at least Im outside working out.

Read the Sig.

Please, nobody post that photo. You know which one. :eek:

With the OP's name, and this concern, it was the first thing that came to mind...

but I won't be that guy today.

With the OP's name, and this concern, it was the first thing that came to mind...

but I won't be that guy today.

But I will be... :roflmao2:
http://cucinatestarossa.blogs.com/weblog/images/red_bike_shorts_1.jpg

But I will be... :roflmao2:

My eyes!

quod si oculus tuus dexter scandalizat te erue eum et proice abs te expedit enim tibi ut pereat unum membrorum tuorum quam totum corpus tuum mittatur in gehennam

What he said.

Mountain bike shorts?

http://www.performancebike.com/shop/profile.cfm?SKU=22781&subcategory_ID=1122

I started out using mountain bike shorts because of my modesty, but eventually got to the point of not caring and regular bike shorts/bibs are more comfortable.

TJ

A Keilbasa?

Then he would have to change his user name to BigPolishSausageJimmy wouldn't he.:lol: Honestly, if modesty is the concern, touring shorts are another way to go. They look like regular shorts, but have the chamois in them.

The only concern I have when wearing the bike shorts is that I might see some hottie on my ride, or worse when I am off the bike :eek::o


quod si oculus tuus dexter scandalizat te erue eum et proice abs te expedit enim tibi ut pereat unum membrorum tuorum quam totum corpus tuum mittatur in gehennam

So that's why there are so many one eyed Pirates! (arrrghh Me eye!):thumb:

I wear wicking shorts over my Lycra. Lycra keeps everything in place, the wicking shorts keeps me modest.

Mountain bike shorts?

http://www.performancebike.com/shop/profile.cfm?SKU=22781&subcategory_ID=1122

I started out using mountain bike shorts because of my modesty, but eventually got to the point of not caring and regular bike shorts/bibs are more comfortable.

TJ

Yep, MTB shorts are the answer for the disciminating Clyde about town.

Leave the Lycra to the models. Try mountain bike shorts.

They have baggies with an inner liner - rather like mini bloomers - so folks cannot be peering where they should not. They are loose, so your Manly Assets are not on display.

<http://www.pricepoint.com/thumb/1-Clothing-16-Shorts/MTB-False.htm>

What I wore at 18 in my Adonis-like body period is not what I wear at 65 in my Formerly Adonis-like body period. (Same Adonis-like body - but there is more of it.)

Saw a pair of road bikers at a light which illustrated the aesthetic issues. On the right, the young stud in Lycra - a fine looking figure in bibs. On the left, grandpa clyde with Lycra outlining those rolls of stored food reserves, etc..

The thought: Some folks should not wear Lycra. It does not flatter.

I wear mtb shorts, a construction worker long sleeve lime green shirt and a surveyor vest in lime. Loose, flowing, cool. Good aiming point for cars. Don't look like a lollypop.

@@@

There may be some regulation that roadies wear Lycra. In that case, allow me to add a pair of lemons to the fruit salad suggestions. Goes good with a wurst.

On the left, grandpa clyde with Lycra outlining those rolls of stored food reserves, etc..

The thought: Some folks should not wear Lycra. It does not flatter.

I don't wear it to flatter. I don't wear it for other people. I wear lycra because there's no way I'm wearing baggies on a 400k ride. The very thought of the chafe incurred from such a venture makes me cringe and head sprinting for the lycra and chamois creme.

Not a clyde but pretty modest anyways... I wear mtb shorts (unpadded) over liner shorts and can handle any kind of distance with these.

I have nice bibs and when I use those I still pack shorts for the time I am off the bike.

You gotta think of the women and children who may be permanently traumatized.

i don't wear it to flatter. I don't wear it for other people. I wear lycra because there's no way i'm wearing baggies on a 400k ride. The very thought of the chafe incurred from such a venture makes me cringe and head sprinting for the lycra and chamois creme.

+1!

I don't wear it to flatter. I don't wear it for other people. I wear lycra because there's no way I'm wearing baggies on a 400k ride. The very thought of the chafe incurred from such a venture makes me cringe and head sprinting for the lycra and chamois creme.

+1

I'll never understand why people care what they look like on a bicycle or that someone might look at them.

Just wear what works.

I don't wear it to flatter. I don't wear it for other people. I wear lycra because there's no way I'm wearing baggies on a 400k ride. The very thought of the chafe incurred from such a venture makes me cringe and head sprinting for the lycra and chamois creme.

:thumb: +1 Lycra shorts are design for a practical purpose whether you are a racer or a weekend tourist.

Just get over the modesty thing. All males in the human race have the equipment, just different sizes/styles. BTW, females are aware of this fact too. :rolleyes:

Not a clyde but pretty modest anyways... I wear mtb shorts (unpadded) over liner shorts and can handle any kind of distance with these.

I have nice bibs and when I use those I still pack shorts for the time I am off the bike.

You gotta think of the women and children who may be permanently traumatized.

LOL

If I'm on the bike, I have no issue with my appearance. However, when I stop at a store for rehydration, I'll put my helmet over my front to hide my "gear".

I was getting all kinds of looks (from all kinds) before I decided to be a little more modest.

Michael

I just wear Wrangler cargo shorts and do just fine but I only ride a few thousand miles a yr

OMG I have never seen that picture before, pretty humerous given my username. Thanks for all the good suggestions, All I can say is some things just can't be unseen.

+1

I'll never understand why people care what they look like on a bicycle or that someone might look at them.

Just wear what works.

I don't think most people even pay you enough notice to care what you are or are not wearing.

I must not be on here enough to know about that picture. When you all started talking about a picture, I thought you were talking about this guy.

http://www.gadgetreview.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/tron-costume.jpg

I really don't mind if anyone notices when I'm smuggling plums :D

I really don't mind if anyone notices when I'm smuggling plums :D

Thinking small, eh? Grapfruits FTW!! :roflmao2: