Foo - Verge of a breakdown

So over the past 6 months a lot has happened. Divorce, shift in job responsibilities, etc... I've managed to keep it completely together. Never fretting or worrying as there are some things that just are what they are. So I called my mom this morning, as I call her every other day to check in. Apparently my dad had a stroke this weekend. I'm a nervous wreck. I wanna hop on a plane stat and get back home, but apparently I'm the only one who knows besides my mom. My dad doesn't know that I know and my mom insists that I don't mention anything to him or any of my siblings. Not really sure what to do here. Sitting idle in situations like this are not good for me.

Sorry to hear that CJ.
I don't understand why he wouldn't want you to know though. Its not like he voluntarily beat up a helicopter salesman, you know.

sorry man. I hope the best for you and your family.

:hug:

dang! sorry, Man.:(

try to chill for a sec and respect his wishes. Maybe get more info from your mom? Can you speak to his doctors? Might be hard these days (confidentiality, etc.)

Bummer.

Why in the world do they want to keep it a secret?

My dad is stubborn and doesn't want to worry us. The only reason my mom told me is that I'm the only one that can keep a secret and I'm closest to my dad. She's going to fill me in on the rest when she gets out of court. I'm thinking about saying eff it and hopping on a plane anyway. I spent the first 17 years of my life not listening to them. Might as well pick that trend back up.

this armchair observer thinks you should just go.

My dad is stubborn and doesn't want to worry us. The only reason my mom told me is that I'm the only one that can keep a secret and I'm closest to my dad. She's going to fill me in on the rest when she gets out of court. I'm thinking about saying eff it and hopping on a plane anyway. I spent the first 17 years of my life not listening to them. Might as well pick that trend back up.

Maybe wait a day or so and see how he's doing first? If he's improved a lot, then maybe you stay put?
Again, I hope for the best for you and him.

Sorry to hear, man. I don't know what to tell you. Find a helicopter salesman and take out some frustration, maybe?

Sorry to hear, man. I don't know what to tell you. Find a helicopter salesman and take out some frustration, maybe?

maybe just take it out on Chipcom? He's pretty close to a helicopter salesman.:p

sorry to read about this... but agree with other OP regarding severity of the stroke... however, if you haven't visited in a while, have some vacation time, then perhaps it can be good to get away and do the family thing?

all the best...

this armchair observer thinks you should just go.

that's what I was thinking too...

don't really want to piss off a guy who just had a stroke, do you?
I've been through a few of these situations. Unfortunate fact is, going will make YOU feel better but might not be the best for everyone involved. After all, there's nothing you can do to fix things once you get there- IMHO, respect his wishes at least at the immediate moment, and plan a trip for the near future.

of course, this unsolicited advice is coming from someone who would be all "no, don't come see me I'm fine"

I hope that the decision you make is for the best!

You and my family are in my thoughts and prayers man.

Couch

You should go. If its not serious you can reverse immediately and secret kept. If it is serious it won't stay a secret and you'll be there that much sooner. Call from the arrival airport before showing up.

take care cracker. i would go if only to support the mum.

As someone who cares for patient's with strokes all the time, I would suggest that you go. Not necessarily for your father; more for your mom. She likely needs the support. If your dad gets mad, tell him you needed to help mom and he can just deal with it (he won't stay mad long).

Best of luck.

Sorry to hear about your Dad.

I hope you find your way to making the right decision for all parties concerned.

My dad is stubborn and doesn't want to worry us.

Dealing with this now. My Mom did the same thing - didn't tell children as not to worry us. She's now been in the hospital for 8 weeks with various infections, etc. Had surgery two weeks ago to remove abscesses from liver and also to remove a huge portion of her large intestine. Still 50-50 on survival.

If we would've known earlier, we would've have made sure she gets taken care of, rather than being rushed to hospital with 80/40 BP. She's had (minor) issues we understand for a couple years. Never told anyone other than my Dad.

Follow your heart and do what you think is best. As parents get older, they don't always make the best decisions.

good luck

Thanks all. Tickets were acquired moments ago. I'm going under the ruse of a visit to the ex.

Good luck CJ. I second all of the comments about being there to support your mom.

Thanks all. Tickets were acquired moments ago. I'm going under the ruse of a visit to the ex.

Good move. :)

Thanks all. Tickets were acquired moments ago. I'm going under the ruse of a visit to the ex.


brilliant! and best to you and your family.......

Thanks all. Tickets were acquired moments ago. I'm going under the ruse of a visit to the ex.

Exactly the correct choice. If nothing else, your mom could probably use someone to lean on right now. I hope he recovers quickly.

My brother had a mild stroke last year.
They are scary but he has recovered well.

Sorry, Crackerjab.
Best wishes to you and your family.

Make sure your mom knows what meds he's supposed to be taking, and see if she can make sure he's actually taking them. My Dad went through a series of small strokes before having a big one and passing away - all because he never told anyone that he'd been prescribed blood pressure medication. He also had Parkinsonism, which made it virtually impossible to tell when he'd had the small strokes.

Bottom line - be especially attentive to these stubborn people, as they tend to disregard what the doctor tells them - even when it could mean shortening their life by a number of years, or having to live in a miserable state because of something preventable.

Thanks all. Tickets were acquired moments ago. I'm going under the ruse of a visit to the ex.

Good, excellent choice. :D I was going to suggest fabricating a good, valid sounding coincidental reason. ;)

Don't sit there. Just go. I've been there before.