Clydesdales/Athenas (200+ lb / 91+ kg) - Should I tell them?

OK, another post about me, but perhaps some of my thoughts might help others should they come to this crossroads:

I'm leaving on a tour with a dozen other guys in a week. Most of them are strangers to me. While many of them post to Bike Forums, they don't post often and don't post to the Clyde/Athena forum. They don't know that I once weighed 400 pounds and they don't know I didn't know how to ride a bike 2.5 years ago.

My question is, should I tell them?

My concerns are that by bringing these facts up I'm either dragging up something from the past that isn't relevant, or that I'm making excuses for my riding skills, or lack thereof. While I'm proud I taught myself to ride, there's been a lot of miles under the tires since then. And while I'm proud I've maintained 100+ pounds of weight loss for nearly 3 years, I'm still overweight. And I'm still not as skilled as many other riders.

So, folks, is my weight loss and late learning something I should continue to discuss, or something I should shut up about? And what point do you consider it excessive to talk about your weight loss?

If ir comes up, go ahead and talk. If not, then don't sweat it. :D

What would be changed for the telling?

If ir comes up, go ahead and talk. If not, then don't sweat it. :D

Then the follow-up question, and perhaps the point of the thread, is when do I stop thinking of myself as a former 400 pounder and a beginner bicyclist?

The interview with Bdinger in the Nebraska newspaper prompted these thoughts. At some point we all leave the fat guy behind. Not to pick on Big Ben, but does he think of himself as a former 567 pounder who lost 217 and now who needs to lose more, or a 350 pound guy who needs to lose weight?

Or maybe just a guy with a bike that wants to ride like the other guys with bikes. Your question is not an easy one to answer.

You're not a beginner, you're a Cycle Tourer. Enjoy the ride.

Then the follow-up question, and perhaps the point of the thread, is when do I stop thinking of myself as a former 400 pounder and a beginner bicyclist?

The interview with Bdinger in the Nebraska newspaper prompted these thoughts. At some point we all leave the fat guy behind. Not to pick on Big Ben, but does he think of himself as a former 567 pounder who lost 217 and now who needs to lose more, or a 350 pound guy who needs to lose weight?

I'd say you're long past being a beginner cyclist, Neil. No worries there. As to your history, well, it's part of what makes you, well, you! You've made accomplishments 98% of the population would never dream of.

Remember this.....cycling is a sport that you train your butt off for years and years to get merely mediocre. ;) It's not how fast you ride, or even how far, it's just that you DO ride. In your case, you also act as a gateway for other new cyclists, as well. Enjoy that, because anytime you touch anothers life and benefit them, it's a good in the grand scheme of things.

I'd say you're long past being a beginner cyclist, Neil. No worries there. As to your history, well, it's part of what makes you, well, you! You've made accomplishments 98% of the population would never dream of.

Remember this.....cycling is a sport that you train your butt off for years and years to get merely mediocre. ;) It's not how fast you ride, or even how far, it's just that you DO ride. In your case, you also act as a gateway for other new cyclists, as well. Enjoy that, because anytime you touch anothers life and benefit them, it's a good in the grand scheme of things.

^^^^^This.

There are so many here that should never be reluctant to share their story if the opportunity is right. What has been accomplished could well be a positive motivation for some one listening, or some one listening may share the story later with someone who will find inspiration.

I don't typically bring up the fact that I've lost 300 pounds. I usually don't think about that any more. Sometimes people will ask (politely) about the scars on my arms and legs from having excess skin removed. I tell the truth depending on my mood :)

I do get taken by surprise once in awhile. On a scenic ride like Skyline Drive if I'm at an overlook and I see a couple or a family taking turns getting pictures of one another, I will often volunteer to take a picture of them together. Once after doing this I got the question, "so, how much weight have you lost?"

WTF? I didn't think it was that obvious. I thought I looked like a tour de france racer... :(

WTF? I didn't think it was that obvious. I thought I looked like a tour de france racer... :(

:roflmao2: OMG It's not just me who dreams about what the will look like when they reach their goal. Gratz on reaching yours:thumb:

[QUOTE=The Historian;9045236]Should I Tell Them?QUOTE]


Whew Neil, I thought this had something to do with the pictures of the sheep you posted earlier this week :D

Sorry I couldn't help myself :lol:

Seriously though, you aught to be proud of where you have come from and you deserve every bit of credit for doing so. Part of camping with little amenities is story telling around the camp fire to help pass the time. I would say that it is perfectly fine to bring it up but only tell the story one time unless you are asked about it again. Have fun out on tour!

:roflmao2: OMG It's not just me who dreams about what they will look like when they reach their goal. Gratz on reaching yours:thumb:

No, a lot of guys do this, although probably few admit it.

I don't typically bring up the fact that I've lost 300 pounds. I usually don't think about that any more. Sometimes people will ask (politely) about the scars on my arms and legs from having excess skin removed. I tell the truth depending on my mood :)

I do get taken by surprise once in awhile. On a scenic ride like Skyline Drive if I'm at an overlook and I see a couple or a family taking turns getting pictures of one another, I will often volunteer to take a picture of them together. Once after doing this I got the question, "so, how much weight have you lost?"

WTF? I didn't think it was that obvious. I thought I looked like a tour de france racer... :(

Interesting. When did you stop thinking of yourself as a former 500 pounder?

How about just thinking of yourself as just another dude on a bike and quit worrying about categories and former categories and other such nonsense? Your former and present weight are neither a crutch nor an albatross. Same goes for your time in the saddle...people like me who never quit cycling are the exception, not the rule. Most have little more experience than you do. Sometimes you way over think things, my friend. ;)

How about just thinking of yourself as just another dude on a bike and quit worrying about categories and former categories and other such nonsense? ;)

Yes, that's best, and what I'm trying for.

Yes, that's best, and what I'm trying for.

Cool, relax, enjoy yourself, have fun! :beer:

Sometimes you way over think things, my friend. ;)

Well, I did play tournament chess. :)

I'd say you're long past being a beginner cyclist, Neil. No worries there. As to your history, well, it's part of what makes you, well, you! You've made accomplishments 98% of the population would never dream of.

Remember this.....cycling is a sport that you train your butt off for years and years to get merely mediocre. ;) It's not how fast you ride, or even how far, it's just that you DO ride. In your case, you also act as a gateway for other new cyclists, as well. Enjoy that, because anytime you touch anothers life and benefit them, it's a good in the grand scheme of things.

and ^^^^this^^^^ is why Monsieur Stormcrowe is a moderator here. Well said!

[QUOTE=The Historian;9045236]Should I Tell Them?QUOTE]


Whew Neil, I thought this had something to do with the pictures of the sheep you posted earlier this week :D



Thanks MTBLover for the caption....

Historian, for me there is a simple formula for knowing when you are no longer a beginner cyclist. If you have the ability to keep with the pack, if you have the ability to go faster than other people you are not really a beginner any more. Then again on the other hand I still think of myself as a beginner and I can pass people *LOL*

On the weight thing. I think its difficult. If I make it down to my goal weight I will still be a fat guy with a fat guy mentality, I will just be in a skinny guys body *LOL*. The problem with being a "fat guy" is that we are predisposed to putting the weight on a lot easier than skinny guys so need to constantly work at it and hence will never lose the mentality. Even though I started this time at 309lbs I still look at myself at my biggest of 323lbs. I think you keep looking at the biggest weight because it gives you a sense of accomplishment. If I get down I can look and see that since my heaviest I have lost 55lbs......(41lbs for this journey) and it helps me see the big picture.

Steve

It's a tour not a race yes? If you can hang with the pace then it's not important to disclose, but you may want to tell them after the 1/2 way mark if you just feel like bragging. yes I said bragging, because you sir have earned bragging rights. What you've done is an accomplishment to be proud of. I know I'm not up to the point where I could keep up with you and I've known how to ride since I was a little kid and weigh a tiny bit less but I know you'd still smoke me. nuff said

If ir comes up, go ahead and talk. If not, then don't sweat it. :D

Tom, you sir, as always are wise well beyond your years. This is exactly the route I take, I used to talk about it - but now I just keep it quiet unless someone asks. Most of the time they figure it out on their own, I think :) - actions speak louder than words, etc.


Then the follow-up question, and perhaps the point of the thread, is when do I stop thinking of myself as a former 400 pounder and a beginner bicyclist?

The interview with Bdinger in the Nebraska newspaper prompted these thoughts. At some point we all leave the fat guy behind. Not to pick on Big Ben, but does he think of himself as a former 567 pounder who lost 217 and now who needs to lose more, or a 350 pound guy who needs to lose weight?

Yeah, I've considered that question - leaving the fat guy behind - and it's a tough one. I certainly am not at all the same person that I was 4 years and 200 pound ago, but to some extent I still am. The past is what makes you who you are, and so I've learned that inside I still have to accept that. It's a tough pill to swallow at times, three years ago I couldn't say how much I weighed out loud - now it's public information.

I've honestly struggled with this very thing for the past couple days/weeks/months and it boils down to the fact that I'm who I am. I'm the sum of my past experiences, and as such, if someone wants to know I'll tell them. From now on I'm just a guy who rides his bike. If people want to know, I'll tell 'em. If not, I won't :).

Interesting. When did you stop thinking of yourself as a former 500 pounder?

Not till a couple of years ago. My high weight was six years ago.

Having the excess skin removed made a big difference. That was a series of 4 or 5 operations that took a year and a half to complete however. Having all that excess stuff flapping around was a daily and unpleasant reminder.

I guess I fall in the who cares if nobody brings it up. Enjoy the ride, enjoy the fellowship of riding with new friends.

Historian,

First, you absolutely should be proud of your accomplishments.

If you guys have not decided on the pace and miles goals for the tour, certainly it makes sense for each of you to know the others goals and comfort levels to ensure everyone has a good time. Otherwise, the past is not important to the success of the tour.

Consider your lost weight like an ex-wife that you don't care for. It's better for you that it's gone, but if you talk about it enough and it still impacts your life daily, perhaps that's not the best. Look ahead...

no ex-wives were harmed n the making of this post

in my own experience it doesn't matter what your past is when your riding with a group. its really about right now. what shape are you in right now. can you finish what we are doing right now. the only relevant thing from the past is medical history if it could be an issue during the ride/ tour.

talking about my shape from the past usually either seems to come across as bragging or a source of second thoughts of my abilities for them. now if someone asks about it then when i tell them its more ooo's and ah's.

when i look back at it. i am not that large compared to others but, i think the only ride where there was larger people than i was last years MS 150. other than that i am always the largest person there. i used to over hear comments before rides all the time. i guess i must be more known now because the comments have stopped for the most part. either that or the punishment i have put some through :D

I'm with the others. The goal here is to finish the tour, and enjoy each day as it comes. The only pace that matters is the one your comfortable with. Your past experience on these trails outweighs any weight you may carry on the bike. You know what it takes to get from campsite to campsite, so teach the others to take the time to smell the roses (or take a lot of pics, which we know you will).

I'm probably going to drive directly home after my Indy T d C ride with Mr Stormcrowe & Team. So depending on how the legs feel, I may be joining you guys for a while on the Sunday leg of the tour. I'll have to take a look at the intinerary, or call Spin to see where you folks will be.

Have fun,

Denny

First, I think it ironic that someone with the user name of "The Historian" is concerned about discussing the past. I would think that during the course of a tour there may be times when you all sit around getting to know each other. As mentioned before, your past is what makes you who you are so I would be open and unapologetic as the occasion arises. The fact you have made the move from where you were to where you are should be inspiring to your fellow tourers. For what its worth, I think you have a right to be proud of the progress you've made and should make no excuses for the person you have become or, I should say, the person you are becoming.

OK, another post about me, but perhaps some of my thoughts might help others should they come to this crossroads:

I'm leaving on a tour with a dozen other guys in a week. Most of them are strangers to me. While many of them post to Bike Forums, they don't post often and don't post to the Clyde/Athena forum. They don't know that I once weighed 400 pounds and they don't know I didn't know how to ride a bike 2.5 years ago.

My question is, should I tell them?

My concerns are that by bringing these facts up I'm either dragging up something from the past that isn't relevant, or that I'm making excuses for my riding skills, or lack thereof. While I'm proud I taught myself to ride, there's been a lot of miles under the tires since then. And while I'm proud I've maintained 100+ pounds of weight loss for nearly 3 years, I'm still overweight. And I'm still not as skilled as many other riders.

So, folks, is my weight loss and late learning something I should continue to discuss, or something I should shut up about? And what point do you consider it excessive to talk about your weight loss?

If someone asks a question, answer it, how much information you want to provide, is up to you. Remember that the answer "none of your business" is still a legitimate answer. :D

I'm with the others. The goal here is to finish the tour, and enjoy each day as it comes. The only pace that matters is the one your comfortable with. Your past experience on these trails outweighs any weight you may carry on the bike. You know what it takes to get from campsite to campsite, so teach the others to take the time to smell the roses (or take a lot of pics, which we know you will).

I'm probably going to drive directly home after my Indy T d C ride with Mr Stormcrowe & Team. So depending on how the legs feel, I may be joining you guys for a while on the Sunday leg of the tour. I'll have to take a look at the intinerary, or call Spin to see where you folks will be.

Have fun,

Denny

Oh, I'm unconcerned about the tour. After my August tour I don't have anything to prove to anyone. It's that I'd rather not be tied to the memory of a fat persona that I left behind long ago. Or be tempted to use my lack of experience as an excuse.

It's that I'd rather not be tied to the memory of a fat persona that I left behind long ago. Or be tempted to use my lack of experience as an excuse.

Why not just let it go and just wait and see what happens. If your story comes out, so what? If you don't want to be tied to the memory of a fat persona, then don't bring it up. By bringing it up you're not leaving it behind. I have to agree with the categories thing... you're over thinking this honestly, just get out and ride and leave the minute details behind.

V

I think yer thinkin' too much! Shaddup and ride. Having said that, I have a deep respect for what you've accomplished thus far and look forward to what is to come.

The stories of wieght loss and riding on this board are really inspirational.

I have always thought of myself differently. As an 'average guy, temporarily trapped in a fat guys body( although I've been heavy for 7 years). High of 310, now at 255, on the way to 215.

My great inspiration comes from hearing about not just losing weight, but keeping it off for years. We all hear stories about 90% of people gaining their weight back. That doesn't seem to be the case on this board.

So keep on riding, don't apologize and realize you are motivating many other people

The Historian, overthinking something? Naw, never!:innocent::D

First, it's not likely that you will be dropped on a tour.

When the question of surprise that you are able to keep up happens, the perfect time will be present.

The Historian, overthinking something? Naw, never!:innocent::D

:deadhorse2: This is the closest thing I could come up with to "overthinking a horse to death"


:lol:

V

Historian, just be yourself and everything is good. I'm sure some things will come up as campsite conversation, some may be about you, some about some scenery or pics you took along the way. Have fun with it.

This is a really interesting thread. I have struggled with this very issue for a few months now. For a long time I was doing great for someone who used to way 329 pounds, and then I was doing great for my size. At some point, I would just like to be doing great. When I do races it is really difficult not to compare myself to people who have been in shape and riding or running for years. Today, I went out for a 67 mile group ride. About mile 40, it hit me that I was hanging with the fast group pretty easily. I thought maybe I am becoming just a cyclist instead of a fat cyclist. Then I died around mile 45 :notamused: and realized that I am still a fat cyclist, but I am getting a lot better.:D


Then the follow-up question, and perhaps the point of the thread, is when do I stop thinking of myself as a former 400 pounder and a beginner bicyclist?

The interview with Bdinger in the Nebraska newspaper prompted these thoughts. At some point we all leave the fat guy behind. Not to pick on Big Ben, but does he think of himself as a former 567 pounder who lost 217 and now who needs to lose more, or a 350 pound guy who needs to lose weight?

If you're touring with them, you need to discuss how far and how fast you ride, how you've done on similar tours, and make sure things will work out there. Whether you've ridden for 2 years or 20, or whether you're gaining weight or losing weight, are kind of immaterial. Okay for conversation, but no reason to specifically bring it up.

You mention learning to ride fairly recently. I learned when I was a kid, and, in my mind, rode quite a bit as a kid. But, for example, I rode my bike to school, and that seemed like a ways, but it was really only about a mile. I'll bet in the last 6 months, I've ridden more miles than I did in my first 18 years put together. There's some old guys that have probably been riding 75 years or so. Nobody cares about that, what's impressive is that they're still riding, not when they started.

:deadhorse2: This is the closest thing I could come up with to "overthinking a horse to death"


:lol:

V

Sorry, I'm a former psych student, a writer, and a chessplayer. I can't NOT analyze stuff. :)

This is a really interesting thread. I have struggled with this very issue for a few months now. For a long time I was doing great for someone who used to way 329 pounds, and then I was doing great for my size. At some point, I would just like to be doing great. When I do races it is really difficult not to compare myself to people who have been in shape and riding or running for years. Today, I went out for a 67 mile group ride. About mile 40, it hit me that I was hanging with the fast group pretty easily. I thought maybe I am becoming just a cyclist instead of a fat cyclist. Then I died around mile 45 :notamused: and realized that I am still a fat cyclist, but I am getting a lot better.:D

Yes, that's my point. I rode a 384 mile tour last year. When I finished, I didn't think "384 miles is great for a former 400 pounder." I didn't reflect, "this is a great distance for someone who didn't know how to ride a bike three years ago." And despite my shoulder pain, I didn't consider "this is a long ride for someone with scoliosis." All I thought was "I did it!" No asterisk or footnote to my accomplishment. Lance Armstrong doesn't race to be announced on the podium as having turned in the best result by a cancer survivor.

Sorry, I'm a former psych student, a writer, and a chessplayer. I can't NOT analyze stuff. :)
That reminds me of a quote by the great philosopher, Steve Martin who once said something like this." If you study math, it is just numbers, facts and figures, and you forget it all but, if you study psychology or philosophy, you remember just enough to screw you up for the rest of your life. ":lol:

That reminds me of a quote by the great philosopher, Steve Martin who once said something like this." If you study math, it is just numbers, facts and figures, and you forget it all but, if you study psychology or philosophy, you remember just enough to screw you up for the rest of your life. ":lol:

Steve Martin definitely never studied math. It's none of the above really.

OK, another post about me, but perhaps some of my thoughts might help others should they come to this crossroads:

I'm leaving on a tour with a dozen other guys in a week. Most of them are strangers to me. While many of them post to Bike Forums, they don't post often and don't post to the Clyde/Athena forum. They don't know that I once weighed 400 pounds and they don't know I didn't know how to ride a bike 2.5 years ago.

My question is, should I tell them?

My concerns are that by bringing these facts up I'm either dragging up something from the past that isn't relevant, or that I'm making excuses for my riding skills, or lack thereof. While I'm proud I taught myself to ride, there's been a lot of miles under the tires since then. And while I'm proud I've maintained 100+ pounds of weight loss for nearly 3 years, I'm still overweight. And I'm still not as skilled as many other riders.

So, folks, is my weight loss and late learning something I should continue to discuss, or something I should shut up about? And what point do you consider it excessive to talk about your weight loss?

I followed the general advice and stopped worrying about it. When the subject came up - and it came up surprising often - I was able to discuss the weight loss and learning to ride casually. A couple of times I was too talkative and enthusiastic, but I thought I handled it well, not bragging or using my inexperience or structural problems as an excuse. I even felt comfortable enough to accept a campground discount for 'being disabled' - normally I get bent out of shape at having the "D word" applied to me, but instead I pocketed the discount and walked away thinking it's a strange world that considers someone who can ride 60 miles pulling a heavy bike trailer "disabled."

Interesting question Neil. For me I think it was telling recently that I have met some new people and have not mentionend..."Hey I used to be fat" - as one of them was very attracted to me and thought I was sexy (go figure). Anyway - I was thinking back to the night when I met these new friends /people as part of a social event- and was sort of proud of myself for not saying hey I lost 50 lbs.....(man it sounds yucky just writing that I would actually once do that.)

For me - the unbecoming reason I would tell people about it at times was because it's what i thoughtis best about me...and I hopefully kno am beginning to realize there is so much more to me than what i stick in my mouth or exercise off. So for years I have been identified by losing / gaining weight. It's all I was. So for me,I see it as great recovery that I don't mention it.

Though when people here you started riding a few years ago they may naturally ask how much weight did you lose...as it seems many people lose weight while riding.

Also I think your fellow bikers see how you ride - and know your ability, etc...no background story needed.


Just my 2 cents.

So, folks, is my weight loss and late learning something I should continue to discuss

Only if you're on Oprah.

Or a woman.

Or a woman on Oprah.

Or Richard Simmons.

Otherwise, just go ride.

Interesting question Neil. For me I think it was telling recently that I have met some new people and have not mentionend..."Hey I used to be fat" - as one of them was very attracted to me and thought I was sexy (go figure). Anyway - I was thinking back to the night when I met these new friends /people as part of a social event- and was sort of proud of myself for not saying hey I lost 50 lbs.....(man it sounds yucky just writing that I would actually once do that.)

For me - the unbecoming reason I would tell people about it at times was because it's what i thoughtis best about me...and I hopefully kno am beginning to realize there is so much more to me than what i stick in my mouth or exercise off. So for years I have been identified by losing / gaining weight. It's all I was. So for me,I see it as great recovery that I don't mention it.

Though when people here you started riding a few years ago they may naturally ask how much weight did you lose...as it seems many people lose weight while riding.

Also I think your fellow bikers see how you ride - and know your ability, etc...no background story needed.


Just my 2 cents.

That two cents seems to be a coin we have in common. Thanks for sharing.

BTW, did the fellow who thought you were sexy say, "If I told you you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?" :)

That two cents seems to be a coin we have in common. Thanks for sharing. Your :WELCOME:

BTW, did the fellow who thought you were sexy say, "If I told you you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?" :)

Ya know he didn't mention it in words.... good line though.

Race them and beat them handily (within the range of humility).

No more questions will arise.

Roll fast, Historian!