Commuting - ripping the throat out of someone who buzzes you

ever want to do that?

last night on the way home someone buzzed me, and then this morning someone buzzed me. this morning the cager stopped long enough for me to catch up and we had a shouting match in the middle of the street in front of the post office. I totally gave him an earful and now I've lost my voice. ARGH I was pissed from last night's buzzing, pissed about the rain AGAIN this morning, and finally the straw that set me off was that I was going 20 mph (the speed limit) on a twisty road with blind spots and so I took the lane so cager wouldn't pass me and so what did he do? passed me right before a blind bridge crossing! but not only did he pass me - he buzzed me less than 10" from my left shoulder! I shouted "HEY!" and would have left it at that if I had not caught up to him. I live in a small town 5 sq miles, a lot like Mayberry. I'm sure I embarrassed myself in front of 1/2 dozen people who know me.

Been more than a few rude cyclists that I've wanted to do it to also.... I feel you.

When are people going to learn that you don't mess with MA. What small town? Alston? Brighton?

Maynard.

Have to admit though that I still have some New York in me ... been here since '84 and now a die hard Red Sox fan :-)

I feel really bad, I think I recognized the guy and I regret not blasting him about the buzzing. We spent most of our argument "discussing" when a bike can take a lane and when a car should not be passing.

I found that talking or arguing only make me more upset, when I really intend to do is somehow get them back. I now simply quote Dick Cheney by saying, "F U" and ride into the sunset/sunrise.

yeah, I'm not proud of myself. Dam I was so pumped that my left leg started to jump from the adrenaline. right there in the street. It happened within minutes of me leaving my house so I had the rest of my 13 miles to use it up. I was stronger for sure. In fact one section, about 1/2 way, that I'm usually in 5th gear for I rode in 10th gear. It surprised me cuz it's a tricky uphill section with potholes on route 20 and I have to one hand it to signal my right turn.

You should have skipped the argument and broke out a ulock.
j/k
or am I?

Do what I'm planning on doing when I get back to commuting and get an even louder horn than they have (I presume that's what you meant by buzzed anyways).

I can't be botheed with arguing, I have occasional hit the side of a van or caught up at the lights, tapped on the window, given them the finger and rode off.

no - by "buzzed" I mean they drove really really close to me on purpose.

If it's any consolation, I got buzzed yesterday, also. What made it even worse is they were in a big hurry to get to...a red light.

:mad: :(

yeah, this guy actually said I was in a hurry to get to the stop sign before you. I don't even understand why that would be a reason to threaten my life with a dangerous weapon ... (the car)

DOT3 or 4 brake fluid in your water bottle, dump on any painted surface.

be sure not to drink out of it.

alternative is to fill it up with vinegar and salt. it will stink for a while and it's safe if you accidentally drink out of it.

People get mad when they get scared, and being buzzed is scary. It's good to remember that this is happening -- just to remember that your buttons are being pushed. Also good to remember is that a driver, when confronted with an angry screaming person, is going to have their buttons pushed in the exact same way -- it's a threat situation, and the same scared -> mad thing happens. That's how the two of you end up going at it. Easy to say, not so easy to not act it out...the proverbial "count to ten" is probably about as good as it gets for breaking the scared->mad reaction cycle.

I've given up getting upset about it.
It's a daily occurrence and all the energy I could expend getting upset isn't worth it.

I just usually point at them so they see me in their rear view mirror and if I should catch them at a light I just stare at them.

That usually freaks them out and some won't even look at you.

Waste of time.....Otherwise there would be throats all over the streets of So Cal.

re: "Waste of time.....Otherwise there would be throats all over L.A."

OTFLMAO!

Waste of time.....Otherwise there would be throats all over the streets of So Cal.

I would need to get fenders.

People get mad when they get scared, and being buzzed is scary. It's good to remember that this is happening -- just to remember that your buttons are being pushed. Also good to remember is that a driver, when confronted with an angry screaming person, is going to have their buttons pushed in the exact same way -- it's a threat situation, and the same scared -> mad thing happens. That's how the two of you end up going at it. Easy to say, not so easy to not act it out...the proverbial "count to ten" is probably about as good as it gets for breaking the scared->mad reaction cycle.

Extremely well put, LBB.

How fast was he going?

I mean, I know it was enough to scare you and all, and you were there and I wasn't, and your fear is valid.

However, if you were doing 20 in a 20 zone...

I'm just happy to share lane space as long as the driver slows down. If I catch him at the stop sign, it's kind of funny. "Whatever, dude."

I think for many drivers, if they get a rise out of you, they feel like they've accomplished something. That is why (after many years of riding) I have taken to just completely ignoring drivers who buzz me or scream at me or honk or whatever. I used to more inclined to scream back and gesture wildly but I found that doing that just got me more worked-up and left me feeling frustrated and angry. I admit that I occasionally still get angry enough that I shout or gesture, but it's a rare occasion.

And when I say I ignore them I mean I completely ignore them. There have even been a couple of instances where a driver has asked me a direct question (such as "What the hell do you think you're doing???") at a stop light, and I've just acted as though I heard nothing. One driver even followed that up with "Hey! I asked you a question" and I just looked at him (so he wouldn't think I was deaf) and shook my head slightly. I think this leaves the driver feeling frustrated and it leaves me feeling like I've taken the higher ground. Works for me anyway...

Get out your camera phone, and visibly take pictures of them and their vehicle. It completely freaks people out.

I've given up getting upset about it.
It's a daily occurrence and all the energy I could expend getting upset isn't worth it.

I just usually point at them so they see me in their rear view mirror and if I should catch them at a light I just stare at them.

That usually freaks them out and some won't even look at you.

+1. Not worth it. Staring, yeah, affirmative. Gets your point across.

I think for many drivers, if they get a rise out of you, they feel like they've accomplished something.

So you are postulating that there is actually thinking going on in those heads? Interesting.


That is why (after many years of riding) I have taken to just completely ignoring drivers who buzz me or scream at me or honk or whatever.

+1 for the most part, but I do fall off the wagon every now and then, usually after three or four knuckleheads in the same commute. I mostly get home with zero problems tho. The OP does not sound like he freaks out all the time. I recommend a rear-view mirror (don't start an argument please) if you can stand one on the helmet or eye glasses. Takes away the element of surprise for me. Otherwise, it's all part of the deal. You wanna ride your bike in the street, you will get buzzed. Remember...you're better than "them"!

I can't even imagine how irritating it must be to drive a car where I live. Any day I get home as a three-dimensional object I feel blessed.

looked for him on the ride home today, him and the other buzzer from yesterday. glad I didn't see either

I don't get like this with motorists.. yet. When my fuse blows its on. I've seen some pretty tough people wilt at my outofthisworld maniac yelling. Spittle flying nose to nose type stuff. Its really not worth it for some random joesmoe on the road. Save those reactions for some prick you have to see everyday.

I don't get like this with motorists.. yet. When my fuse blows its on. I've seen some pretty tough people wilt at my outofthisworld maniac yelling. Spittle flying nose to nose type stuff. Its really not worth it for some random joesmoe on the road. Save those reactions for some prick you have to see everyday.

This is the Voice of Experience speaking...
For the Voice of Wisdom consult a different post. :)

Grow up and get over it. Riding the bike should reduce your stress, not add to it. Relax.

Grow up and get over it. Riding the bike should reduce your stress, not add to it. Relax.

Very true! Even if you get hit, just pick yourself up, give a smile and a wave, and say "thank you for not killing me sir! Have a nice day"!

I don't know if it will help, but you could try ridicule to channel your anger. Rather than the finger or saying, "FU" you could try a smarmy golf applause or pout your lips and curl your hand into a fist while mocking a crying gesture. Beware, I had a motorist back up mid street and try to hit me following the cry gesture. It's much more potent than an FU or middle finger will ever be.

I try to stick with indifference now.

Learn to memorize license plate numbers. I like to chant them at the person who buzzed me, etc. No words, just XTC 101, or whatever. It gets the point across and the threat comes from the fear of cops, not fear of you. It generally pisses them off anyway.

buzzing me is like flipping me the finger and is an invitation for a "discussion" with me.

Arguing with the JAMs is like wrestling with a pig. You get frustrated and muddy, but the pig kind of likes it!

Very true! Even if you get hit, just pick yourself up, give a smile and a wave, and say "thank you for not killing me sir! Have a nice day"!

http://a.abcnews.com/images/Travel/nm_european_vacation_081125_mn.jpg (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hsM0CwqGrBs)

I'm guessing that most people that buzz you are not even aware it is a problem. So it is worthwhile pointing it out to them that it was a problem. Especially in a state with a 3' law.

buzzing me is like flipping me the finger and is an invitation for a "discussion" with me.

Why did you ask, then? Why did you even start the thread?

you talking to me ... :-)

I started it cuz it was a significant commuting event for me and I'm bored and I know this topic would get plenty of replies with other people commiserating. yeah I knew there would be a bunch of people calmly advising to turn the other cheek, etc. but I know there are plenty of other pissed off riders out there. one of the best ways to deal with stress and rage is to express it non violently and this forum and thread is perfect

justifying why I posted the thread is somewhat less than helpful to me but I like you

I started it cuz it was a significant commuting event for me and I'm bored and I know this topic would get plenty of replies with other people commiserating. yeah I knew there would be a bunch of people calmly advising to turn the other cheek, etc. but I know there are plenty of other pissed off riders out there. one of the best ways to deal with stress and rage is to express it non violently and this forum and thread is perfect

Maybe, maybe not. I observe a lot of people who repeatedly whip themselves into a frenzy over past events by graphically replaying them as you did.

In reading your account, it seems to me that you are putting the worst possible interpretation on this driver's behavior. You are assuming that he deliberately did a dangerous thing -- passing too close -- for the sole purpose of intimidating you. Other possibilities are that he really wasn't that close -- subjective estimates aren't always that reliable when someone gets closer than you're comfortable with -- or that he was that close, but as a result of a misjudgment in distances and how to best overtake you, rather than a deliberate action. You further admit that your own anger was partly due to an incident the previous evening and to the weather conditions, neither of which were this driver's fault. I'm not telling you not to feel what you feel, but unless there is some kind of a pattern or definite sign that tells you this was a deliberate attempt to intimidate, you might consider letting it slide off your back rather than rehashing it. At the end of the day, he didn't hit you. Dwelling on fantasies of "ripping his throat out" seems calculated to get you in an even more agitated state to blow up at the next driver who does something you don't like.

he had been tailing me for some time and was pissed that he had to wait behind me and he was going to teach me a lesson by nearly side swiping me. since I caught up to him he was gonna hear about it

re: "you might consider letting it slide off your back"

yeah, I agree, I should probably cancel getting notices to this thread


re: "blow up at the next driver who does something you don't like"

next time someone threatens my life with a dangerous weapon they'll get the same if I can catch them

BTW: being uninvolved and exceptionally passive and judgmental is annoyingly manipulative of you. you seem to like pushing buttons too. I expected more of you

re: "grow up and get over it"


http://blogs.tampabay.com/breakingnews/images/2008/07/19/pt_291763_roth_death_2.jpg

http://sportscracklepop.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/cyclist-crash-3.jpg

http://www.streetsblog.org/wp-content/uploads/2007/08_13/bikeaccident08150701pop.jpg

http://www.naparstek.com/uploaded_images/deadagain-787269.gif

http://media.insidetoronto.topscms.com/images/0c/b8/23628e5c44f98f5908761494dacb.jpeg

re: "grow up and get over it"


http://blogs.tampabay.com/breakingnews/images/2008/07/19/pt_291763_roth_death_2.jpg

http://sportscracklepop.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/cyclist-crash-3.jpg

http://www.streetsblog.org/wp-content/uploads/2007/08_13/bikeaccident08150701pop.jpg

http://www.naparstek.com/uploaded_images/deadagain-787269.gif

http://media.insidetoronto.topscms.com/images/0c/b8/23628e5c44f98f5908761494dacb.jpeg

All of those were purposefully caused by angry drivers?

no silly - but it reminds us what a dead cyclist is all about. it's no small matter and when cagers play games with our lives we have every right be be angry. it's very very real for us

Eh, life is too short to be angry or afraid all the time. I don't feel the need to blow a gasket over just one more moron on the road, whether I'm on the bike or in my car.

I stopped yelling at people.

I'm not afraid & angry all the time.

Hasn't any reader hear had a near death experience? What makes this worse is that it was at the intentional hand of someone else.

he had been tailing me for some time and was pissed that he had to wait behind me and he was going to teach me a lesson by nearly side swiping me.

Did he say so in your subsequent "discussion" when you caught up with him?


re: "you might consider letting it slide off your back"

yeah, I agree, I should probably cancel getting notices to this thread

That wasn't what I said.


next time someone threatens my life with a dangerous weapon they'll get the same if I can catch them

One more time. In your "discussion" with him, did you establish that he was attempting to "threaten your life"?


BTW: being uninvolved and exceptionally passive and judgmental is annoyingly manipulative of you. you seem to like pushing buttons too. I expected more of you

I don't know why you would "expect more" of me -- you don't know me from Adam -- but it's annoyingly manipulative of you to try the "Miss Connie of Romper Room says tut-tut I expected more of you" child psychology. As far as being uninvolved? Dude, no one on this forum was involved but you! You're the one who brought it here, and maybe you should be asking yourself why. What exactly where you looking for? You didn't ask for advice and you certainly don't seem receptive to any, so what were you after -- attention, validation, what?

You need to get an airzound. A good blast of it to anyone who buzzes you sends your message loud and clear. Two things will happen:

1) They hear it and will avoid buzzing you in the future
2) They do not care, in which case confronting them would be pointless

It also makes you more like a vehicle and less like a toy, which is how most perceive bikes.

he had been tailing me for some time and was pissed that he had to wait behind me and he was going to teach me a lesson by nearly side swiping me.


Mindreading?

well, I didn't come here for you. see you on another thread

There's plenty opportunity for commuting cyclists to get angry (inconsiderate drivers, busy roads, etc. etc.) But it's just not worth it. If every morning you're upset & seeing red & starting the day in this ****ty way... you either should stop commuting, pick different routes, or change your attitude (even though it's the other traffic participants who are in the wrong). Commuting saves gas and is good exercise, but it's just now worth this much of a hassle.

I think for many drivers, if they get a rise out of you, they feel like they've accomplished something. That is why (after many years of riding) I have taken to just completely ignoring drivers who buzz me or scream at me or honk or whatever.

+1. On the few occasions where I've gotten hassled, I smile and wave. One guy flipped me off again, I smiled and waved again. He started making all manner of interesting hand gestures; I smiled and waved again. By the time he was getting a hundred or so feet in front of me, I swear he was about to have an aneurysm or drive into a tree or something; I was very amused, still smiling.