Long Distance Competition/Ultracycling, Randonneuring and Endurance Cycling - Butt butter, how exactly do I use this stuff?

So this weekend I'm doing a 200 mile ride with 9999 of my closest friends. I've been advised to apply chamois cream for the ride so I picked up a bunch of little packets of the stuff. But I'm clueless on how to use this stuff and it didn't come with instructions.

So what exactly do I do? Spread it all over my shorts pad? All over my butt? How thick? Doesn't it get all slimy filthy and disgusting? Will it wash out of my shorts?

We're all friends here, you can tell it like it is without mincing words. Tell me what I need to know about this stuff!

Thanks

Spread it over the crotch and either side of the groin next to the scrotum. It will disappear
gradually and for longer rides a reapplication at 40-80 mile intervals is a good idea. Like sun
screen it goes away. My experience is that it is needed if you get skin irritation in the groin or
crotch, not otherwise. I have also found that there are shorts and there are shorts. For me
the PI microsensor/ultrasensor are well worth the $100 +/- they cost for longer rides. The stuff
seems to wash out of the shorts ok. FWIW a look at the ingredients is useful, if water is listed
in the first 3 ingredients the stuff is going to go away faster than if no water at all is listed.
Your skin supplies all the water needed.

I put it directly onto the chamois pad and cover about 3/4 of it from the front edge: That way I've got everything from the front to the sit bones taken care of. Like sch suggests, I reapply when necessary (which is usually every other stop for me.) I sweat a lot, so I lay the stuff in heavier than some people might prefer. Yes, it gets pretty gross after a day or so of riding; but it will wash out no problem.

I'm just hoping nobody posts photos in response to this thread...

I'm just hoping nobody posts photos in response to this thread...
..........agreed.:roflmao2:

Dave Zabriskie Method (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HtZv6Z53lFE)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ctLdtcqABw&feature=related

I only apply it at the sit bones and forward about 4-5 inches (on me, not on the chamois), nothing on the crotch per se. It does wash out.

I don't think it is a good idea to be using something for the first time on the big ride. This is partly what training rides are for - to try out new things and to know how to use them; this applies to bike equipment, nutrition, and clothing. On the big day, there should ideally be nothing new because that can only cause problems.

Also, if you aren't having any problems with irritation / soreness, then why are you trying to solve a problem that doesn't currently exist? Just because your friends find this stuff useful doesn't mean that it is right for everyone. I've done a lot of long day-rides (up to 11 hours in the saddle) and lots of touring, and never had a need for butt cream. I'm sure that it works wonders for other people, but it is certainly not needed for everyone. I would be very apprehensive about trying it for the first time on such a big ride.

Tell me what I need to know about this stuff!Yeah - I'd like to tell you what you can do with your Butt Butter - but I'd be kicked off the board again.