Commuting - 'Twas I, who went forth...

... And bestowed upon Bikeforums, the lastest pearl of idiotic stupidity at which everyone could poke fun and have someone to look down upon.

For those who haven't a clue what I'm talking about, the situation is this. As the resident Gold Coast commuter on bikeforums, I have a huge responsibility. That, of course, being to observe all of the great nonsensical situations in the world (after all, this is where they all happen), and bring forth my observations.

Like tonight for example, when these two morons were fighting over one parking space, just ten metres away from a row of totally vacant parking spots (rare admittedly, but true on this occasion). They basically blocked the Esplanade in Surfers Paradise, and evidently kept it up for quite a while, because after picking a gap which nobody else could get through, I saw hardly any traffic at all on the other side of their squabble. It was as quiet as the nuclear holocaust, in contract to the gridlock just before I hit their little set to.

However, this comes not for free, for there is a price for everything in life. I henceforth request that thou take a vow of silence, for I shall say this quietly...

Sometimes even morons serve a purpose.

Every living thing has a purpose in the universe, now that those two motorist's purpose has been fullfilled they can cease to be . :eek:

Why am I reminded of the old Dr. Seuss book entitled The Sneetches and Other Stories?

Anybody remember the story of the The Zax (http://www.cs.rit.edu/~mmr/OS/zax.html)?

:)
Jay

Thanks for that story. It made me smile. I'm always amazed how people will drive forever in a parking lot to not walk an extra 10m. Hmmm, I wonder when they are being driven to the hospital for their 2nd coranary bypass if they will drive around for 10 minutes looking for the best spot. Silly people.

So Chris, Is it true that you work for the Queensland Tourist Board and you post all these great stories of bicycle community adventure in hopes that we will come and visit and increase tourism revenues?

Or just maybe is it really paradise on earth (Passion Fruit Capital of the Universe) and you're just trying to keep us away.

Or are you really surrounded by the biggest bunch of yahoos in Oz? (Maybe it's just the Australians who have been tourists or workers in the USA that I've met, but I haven't met an Australian I haven't liked.)

Oh my gosh, that is too funny! I'll be chuckling about that one all day. G'day.

So Chris, Is it true that you work for the Queensland Tourist Board and you post all these great stories of bicycle community adventure in hopes that we will come and visit and increase tourism revenues?

Nope, I just call 'em as I see 'em.


Or just maybe is it really paradise on earth (Passion Fruit Capital of the Universe) and you're just trying to keep us away.

Or are you really surrounded by the biggest bunch of yahoos in Oz? (Maybe it's just the Australians who have been tourists or workers in the USA that I've met, but I haven't met an Australian I haven't liked.)

I've had plenty of rides around here that could be described as paradise on Earth, but we also have the biggest bunch of yahoos in Oz, so it's a bit of both really.

...these two morons were fighting over one parking space, just ten metres away from a row of totally vacant parking spots (rare admittedly, but true on this occasion). They basically blocked the Esplanade in Surfers Paradise, and evidently kept it up for quite a while, because after picking a gap which nobody else could get through, I saw hardly any traffic at all on the other side of their squabble.

Just when I thought I'd seen the height of motorist stupidity, someone surpasses it.


It was as quiet as the nuclear holocaust, in contract to the gridlock just before I hit their little set to.

I never thought of a nuclear holocaust as being particularly quiet. The post apocalyptic hush that is the silence of the grave would be quite peaceful though.


However, this comes not for free, for there is a price for everything in life. I henceforth request that thou take a vow of silence, for I shall say this quietly...

Sometimes even morons serve a purpose.

Of course they do. They allow the rest of us to feel talented and intelligent and good looking. Reality TV serves a similar purpose.

So Chris, Is it true that you work for the Queensland Tourist Board and you post all these great stories of bicycle community adventure in hopes that we will come and visit and increase tourism revenues?

The last thing the Gold Coast needs is more tourists.


Or just maybe is it really paradise on earth (Passion Fruit Capital of the Universe) and you're just trying to keep us away.

I have no desire to return there, and I only live up the road. I lived there for a while some years ago. It's like heroin: fun in small doses for a short period of time, but if you stay it'll kill you. (not that I've tried heroin, but you get the point)


Or are you really surrounded by the biggest bunch of yahoos in Oz? (Maybe it's just the Australians who have been tourists or workers in the USA that I've met, but I haven't met an Australian I haven't liked.)

O they're likeable enough in social situations. Doesn't mean they're not yahoos. If you're in the right frame of mind, yahoos can be a lot of fun. Traffic isn't one of those situations though. Traffic is more like a business negotiation, and yahoos tend to suck at those.

I never thought of a nuclear holocaust as being particularly quiet. The post apocalyptic hush that is the silence of the grave would be quite peaceful though.

Isn't it effectively the same thing?


They allow the rest of us to feel talented and intelligent and good looking. Reality TV serves a similar purpose.

I've never actually sat through an entire Reality TV show, so I'll have to take your word for that. However, I understand that Warwick Capper appeared on one recently. If so, it explains a lot.