Foo - How Many Of You Were Never Taught How To Have Sex?

Just a question.:innocent:

Mom taught me..............

Mom taught me..............




:eek:



Odin's beard!

Define "taught". :p

I was taught in a tent at the age of 14 ... she was 16. I was poking around like an anteater looking for lunch. Most awkward.

Dude!
:eek:
:D

There's classes for that? Can I enroll at my age? :p

Seems like it COULD be lockable.

I never got any talks.

I could never afford the course.

Mom taught me..............

with my Dad's help!!

Seriously, how could you "learn" how to do the duty? I figured that you learned by getting your girl to say yes and just doing it to the best of your knowledge...

My first time was funny as hell.

Define "taught". :p




"Sally did it so much she was no longer taught".


There. I used it in a sentence. Hope that's within the rules (unlike a crass definition).

:roflmao2:

I wasn't, and did't actually know the mechanics of it till the 4th grade (health class), and was 100% sure on it till maybe the 6th grade (lousy student).

Then the internet came...

I wasn't, and did't actually know the mechanics of it till the 4th grade (health class), and was 100% sure on it till maybe the 6th grade (lousy student).

Then the internet came...


...15 years later (for me).:o

...15 years later (for me).:o

That is a bit old for the 6th grade, but I congratulate you for staying the course and finishing elementary school.

Hillary_2016 taught a couple of sheep back in High School. You see, we had Future Farmers of America at our small school and the school raised sheep and cows. Hillary was a dare devil and was into some pretty strange stuff back in the day. Man, whenever Hillary got around those sheep the looks on thier faces was chilling.

Couch

Each time you do it, you learn a little bit more.

That is a bit old for the 6th grade, but I congratulate you for staying the course and finishing elementary school.



Where else can you get those little cups of ice cream with the flavor-saver wooden spoons?

Each time you do it, you learn a little bit more.

Well, the actual act of having sex is pretty dead simple.

It's everything around that act that takes a long, long, long time to learn and appreciate.

It's everything around that act that takes a long, long, long time to learn and appreciate.



Like helping to pay her bills, wash her clothes, and clean her dishes. Sexy.

Well, the actual act of having sex is pretty dead simple.

It's everything around that act that takes a long, long, long time to learn and appreciate.

It can be simple, but there are ways to make the act itself more fun and interesting.


Like helping to pay her bills, wash her clothes, and clean her dishes. Sexy.

:lol: You forgot fixing her car.

:lol: You forgot fixing her car.



Even more sexier...I'm teaching her how to drive.

Like helping to pay her bills, wash her clothes, and clean her dishes. Sexy.

Who said sex comes with those responsibilities??

:D

Who said sex comes with those responsibilities??

:D



This is why you're single and chaste, pilgrim.

It's everything around that act that takes a long, long, long time to learn and appreciate.Like all the horrified, sobbing kindergarten students wondering what teacher is doing with that ugly naked man?

Who said sex comes with those responsibilities??

:D

Yeah, the only responsibility that should come with sex, is her getting off first. :p

Like all the horrified, sobbing kindergarten students wondering what teacher is doing with that ugly naked man?



So you're still dating that kindergarten teacher, X?:)

Yeah, the only responsibility that should come with sex, is her getting off first. :p


Actually, recent studies have shown that the woman experinces better orgasms when she is relaxed and not under pressure to perform....in other words, after he comes, not before.

This is why you're single and chaste, pilgrim.

Tell that the pick up artists of the world.

Yeah, the only responsibility that should come with sex, is her getting off first. :p

Someone that gets it!

Tell that the pick up artists of the world.




I forgot that you believed in them and their crap.:roflmao2:

aren't there home learning videos?

aren't there home learning videos?


Not since the dawn of free porn on the internet.

Yeah, the only responsibility that should come with sex, is her getting off twice. :p

fify. :innocent:

Actually, recent studies have shown that the woman experinces better orgasms when she is relaxed and not under pressure to perform....in other words, after he comes, not before.

Is this from your own personal experiments? ;)

I forgot that you believed in them and their crap.:roflmao2:

I'm allowed three mistakes in my life. That was number two.

Someone that gets it!


fify. :innocent:

These guys know what their talking about. :D

Sex is just better after she gets off. It just is. :)

The hardest part about sex is convincing her that it was her idea after all.



That means pretending that you would rather be helping her do stuff that isn't sexy, all the while warming her up with suggestive flirting.

For example, I helped my gf wash her porch and outdoor furniture which led to me "accidentally" throwing a bucket of water on her. :D

These guys know what their talking about. :D

Sex is just better after she gets off. It just is. :)

That's lesson number 10: Wait until she gets off before you (as the guy) does.

Lesson number 11: Knowing when she did.

These guys know what their talking about. :D

Sex is just better after the guy learns how to have multiple orgasms. It just is. :)

This thread is ripe with FIFY possibilities. :D

Is this from your own personal experiments? ;)



My entire life is one huge personal experiment.


If there is an afterlife, I will finally get to see the results. Until then, I'll be in the lab.

This thread is ripe with MILF possibilities. :D


:thumb:

That's lesson number 10: Wait until she gets off before you (as the guy) does.

Lesson number 11: Knowing when she did.

I would hope number 11 would be obvious.

This thread is ripe with FIFY possibilities. :D

Guys have multiples, or guys learn how to give multiples? Or both? Either way, its awesome. :D

I wait for my wife sometimes. But the wind has to be to our back, people have to cheer us on, objects have to be plugged into the wall, the humidity low, the temps normalized, the dog staring at us, kids gone, lights dimmed perfectly, me touching here, biting there, leg over this, bathed, teeth brushed, eyebrows trimmed ... it's a friggen production.

Sometimes I'm like: Look. Go get your little friend that plugs in and let me know when you're done. I'll come in for sloppy seconds. In the meantime, I'll watch all the TDF stages I've DVR'd.

My entire life is one huge personal experiment.


If there is an afterlife, I will finally get to see the results. Until then, I'll be in the lab.

I wish I could take a peek at the teacher's edition sometimes.

I would hope number 11 would be obvious.



Least obvious thing about sex is knowing if she is enjoying herself.



Two things intrigue women about sex: pleasing you and pleasing themselves. Sometimes this is a conflict of interest, so she'll fake it. Convincingly. Shivers and all.

So you're still dating that kindergarten teacher, X?:)Off and on. The thrill just isn't there since the school started posting guards.

I wait for my wife sometimes. But the wind has to be to our back, people have to cheer us on, objects have to be plugged into the wall, the humidity low, the temps normalized, the dog staring at us, kids gone, lights dimmed perfectly, me touching here, biting there, leg over this, bathed, teeth brushed, eyebrows trimmed ... it's a friggen production.

Sometimes I'm like: Look. Go get your little friend that plugs in and let me know when you're done. I'll come in for sloppy seconds. In the meantime, I'll watch all the TDF stages I've DVR'd.

OCD sex?

The hardest part about sex is convincing her that it was her idea after all.



That means pretending that you would rather be helping her do stuff that isn't sexy, all the while warming her up with suggestive flirting.

For example, I helped my gf wash her porch and outdoor furniture which led to me "accidentally" throwing a bucket of water on her. :D

metaphor?

I wait for my wife sometimes.



The more you slow down and relax, the faster she will be coming around the mountain when she comes.




Great. I will never be able to listen to that song the same way again.