Touring - Negative Warmshowers Experience

I live in a Western community that is not on one of the designated Adventure Cycling routes, but still has some through touring traffic. I have been on the Warmshowers website for about two years, now. I have never stayed with anyone - but have hosted about a dozen people. I have also had more than a few blow me off without so much as a cancellation. Including tonight.

First off, let me say that I have, perhaps, 75,000 miles of touring experience so that I know a thing or two about touring. I know that you cannot punch a clock and that unexpected things do come up. But I also know that I was able to make appropriate and courteous contacts in the days of pay phones and snail mail which now seem to be so difficult to do in this age of cell phones and e-mail. Or at least difficult to do if the person looking for a place has a change of plans. It doesn't seem that difficult when they are looking for a place.

This Sunday evening a person called who had just joined Warmshowers - most likely just to find cheap sleeps. She hardly identified herself, but I said that she and her sister could stay on Monday. I got a call on Monday saying that they would have to stay an extra day where they were so could they make it Tuesday. I said, "O.K." - but let them know that I had an evening engagement.

Now, it is only 68 miles from the town they were in to the town where I live. The temperature was in the low 70s today with very light winds - mostly side and tail. There were a few hills - but nothing outrageous. There is only one place to stop - halfway between - a rest stop with a tiny c-store. They called at 3:00 - supposedly from the rest stop - which would mean that they didn't leave until almost noon - but said that they would get in between 6:00 and 7:00. Even though there can be spotty cell coverage, the last half of the ride is on a ridge line so there should have been cell phone service.

I went to my evening meeting after not having heard a word from them. When I got back - still no message. I finally got a call a 9:30 asking if it was still alright to come by. I said, "No." She said that they had had a flat tire and that she had fallen from the bike - but it sounded too contrived to me. I've had plenty of flats - and they didn't delay me 3 hours. I also have had a slip or two - and although I may have gotten scraped, I got back on the bike. In either of these cases - a call would have been courteous and could have been a means of assistance.

I suspect that they didn't leave until mid-afternoon - even though I had said that I had the engagement this evening. Or that they decided to have a few drinks at some local bar before calling the chump on Warmshowers. It's not the first time - - but it will be the last. I'm tired of being mooched upon.

Good for you, I would have done the same. Example of a few messing it up for the many.

But I still feel bad. It's a cold and windy night.

I would have done the same, but near my place there are a few campings and hotels within easy reach so I would not feel so bad.

Hmm, interesting story. I wonder at the yarn the young woman was spinning. My first reaction as a rider if I have any problem is to contact the folks I am staying with so they know about any delay I might have. They abused their host by not doing so. I'd also plan for conservative mileages rather than long ones - the 68-70 miles the OP mentions would be a challenge for me, but not so much for other riders. Perhaps these women bit off more miles than they could chew?

It appears the OP's good nature was taken advantage of, and I'm sorry to read about it. I hope he's had enough positive experience with WS travelers that he reconsiders his decision.

I would have done the same, but near my place there are a few campings and hotels within easy reach so I would not feel so bad.


I don't feel badly about it after getting mistreatment from two "cause" riders early this month. First they announced they were coming days earlier than I had been led to believe. After rearranging my schedule to host them they fell short and stopped 25 miles from me - they'd gotten a late start (1:00 PM) and couldn't make the miles. (They said they were going to try to get a free hotel room so they could watch the Tour de France.) Next morning, they said they would stop by to meet me. Again I waited, and finally gave up.

The whole experience reminds me why my Warm Showers page gives 4 weeks notice as a requirement to stay here.

I don't feel badly about it after getting mistreatment from two "cause" riders early this month. First they announced they were coming days earlier than I had been led to believe. After rearranging my schedule to host them they fell short and stopped 25 miles from me - they'd gotten a late start (1:00 PM) and couldn't make the miles. (They said they were going to try to get a free hotel room so they could watch the Tour de France.) Next morning, they said they would stop by to meet me. Again I waited, and finally gave up.

The whole experience reminds me why my Warm Showers page gives 4 weeks notice as a requirement to stay here.

Not surprised though the popularity of touring will bring out more dishonest and rude people.

I removed my name from the Warm Showers list after 2 unpleasant experiences with touring cyclists. One cyclist from Germany made an expensive phone call to Germany without my permission and without telling me. I found out when I got my next phone bill. This guy acted like a leech in other ways, as well. This was several years back before Skype came into existence and before international calls dropped in price significantly. I had another guy stay with me who was more of a vagabond than a tourer and who creeped me out a bit. I also had a couple of very positive experiences which cyclists who contacted me from the Warm Showers list.

I don't feel badly about it after getting mistreatment from two "cause" riders early this month. First they announced they were coming days earlier than I had been led to believe. After rearranging my schedule to host them they fell short and stopped 25 miles from me - they'd gotten a late start (1:00 PM) and couldn't make the miles. (They said they were going to try to get a free hotel room so they could watch the Tour de France.) Next morning, they said they would stop by to meet me. Again I waited, and finally gave up.

The whole experience reminds me why my Warm Showers page gives 4 weeks notice as a requirement to stay here.

I neglected to mention that these 'cause' tourers didn't contact me through Warm Showers. I'm simply mentioning them to point out that the OP isn't alone in having such rudeness thrust upon him.

If my memory is correct the European hostels, which is not the same thing but somewhat simular, has quite strict rules of when you can arrive.

I live on the ACA Pacific Coast route and when riding my bike I will often meet up with tourers that are either finishing their trip or have plans to cross the border. I help them negotiate the city, tell them where to stay if they want to enjoy the nightlife or where they can camp for little to nothing.

Once I invited a couple to stay with my wife and I. I drove them and their bikes to various bike shops to find parts, my wife cooked them two wonderful carbo laden dinners, they stayed in their own room and bathrom. After they left, we heard nothing from them, but when I stumbled upon their log and found no mention - not even a hint - that they had been hosted in San Diego, but lots of stuff about what they did (but actually what we all did toether), we felt taken advantage of.

If tourers take for granted the small kindnesses extended to them from strangers, they will become the exception rather than the rule.

is it possible they were very new to cycling and weren't really sure what they were doing? i'm fairly new and would probably have considerable trouble doing 68 miles in a day without frequent stops to rest, etc. maybe they bit off more than they could chew? just wondering out loud.....you said you got an off vibe from them on the phone. they do sound like they were trying to take more than advantage of your hospitality.

i guess i'm just not sure why someone would look a gift horse in the mouth, as they say.

I have not toured yet, but am astonished at the rudeness of not acknowledging a host with gratitude! My plan is to tour in a year or two. Believe me- anyone who hosts me will be receiving letters and care packages! I guess it was just the way I was raised.

Cyclesafe (Steve) - I hate to hear of your experience. Unbelievable- the rudeness!

Jamawani, I am sorry to hear it. Warmshowers is a wonderful resource, and it distresses me to hear of people abusing it. And when they do, they should not be encouraged. You did the right thing to turn these people away; perhaps they will decide Warmshowers isn't for them.

I've had a couple Warmshowers tourists camp in my yard, which has been perfectly painless for me. And I've stayed with a few, which has been a really wonderful experience. In fact I'm planning a short tour for this weekend, again relying on Warmshowers; otherwise, I fear I couldn't do it.

I have not toured yet, but am astonished at the rudeness of not acknowledging a host with gratitude! My plan is to tour in a year or two. Believe me- anyone who hosts me will be receiving letters and care packages! I guess it was just the way I was raised.

Cyclesafe (Steve) - I hate to hear of your experience. Unbelievable- the rudeness!

Hmm, I'm not sure I qualified as rude or not. I mentioned WS hosts in my posts about tours, but didn't use their names unless they already had a 'net presence. The one exception I made was Dan and his Lab Sadie, but I figured since he and the dog had been on FOX News they were public enough.

In response to a few comments -

Xilios - There are a few campgrounds in town, but the wind kicked up to 40 mph a half-hour after they called. I'm sure it was a brutal night.

Historian - These young women had already biked from New York to Wyoming - so I'm guessing that 68 miles on a 70-degree day isn't very much. And, yes, I had just had a delightful couple stay the week before. I guess I will have to set more stringent parameters - I don't want to look like Marine Corps boot camp - but for some people you have to.

Axolotl - I head you. I have had wonderful guests and people who I distinctly feel are trying to mooch as much as they can. With something like Warmshowers - it is a crap shoot.

Cyclesafe - It's amazing, isn't it? To get the kind of service you gave these people, they would have had to have stayed at a micro hotel with personal concierge service. In San Diego. And yet, they don't even bother to thank or acknowledge you. I go out of my way to offer help to cyclists. I don't do it with the expectation of high praise - but a little consideration goes a long way.

jgsatl - The thought did occur to me that someone could put a couple of bikes in a van and really scam a host badly. 68 miles isn't much for someone who has ridden from New York. My sense is that these two may be drinking and, possibly, drugging their way across the country on bicycles. Not very smart for two young women.

Talarspeed - And you will be welcome if you come thru.

In response to a few comments -

Xilios - There are a few campgrounds in town, but the wind kicked up to 40 mph a half-hour after they called. I'm sure it was a brutal night.

Historian - These young women had already biked from New York to Wyoming - so I'm guessing that 68 miles on a 70-degree day isn't very much. And, yes, I had just had a delightful couple stay the week before. I guess I will have to set more stringent parameters - I don't want to look like Marine Corps boot camp - but for some people you have to.

Axolotl - I head you. I have had wonderful guests and people who I distinctly feel are trying to mooch as much as they can. With something like Warmshowers - it is a crap shoot.

Cyclesafe - It's amazing, isn't it? To get the kind of service you gave these people, they would have had to have stayed at a micro hotel with personal concierge service. In San Diego. And yet, they don't even bother to thank or acknowledge you. I go out of my way to offer help to cyclists. I don't do it with the expectation of high praise - but a little consideration goes a long way.

jgsatl - The thought did occur to me that someone could put a couple of bikes in a van and really scam a host badly. 68 miles isn't much for someone who has ridden from New York. My sense is that these two may be drinking and, possibly, drugging their way across the country on bicycles. Not very smart for two young women.

Talarspeed - And you will be welcome if you come thru.

If they were drugged or drunk they might not have noticed the wind. :)

Jamawani, no need to run a boot camp. Simply ask for a couple of week's notice before agreeing to host. For a cross country tourer it's not unreasonable to expect.

It's interesting how just a few people in any community can ruin it for everybody else. Look at how a relatively small number of spammers have managed to almost completely cripple email - nowadays I can't even count on my messages getting through, spam filters are so strict. Similarly, hospitality for tourists can get ruined for everybody by the moochers and leaches who are only interested in taking. What we need is some kind of online reputation management system, you might think. But even that would get gamed - remember eBay, where they tried this, and what people started to do was threaten you with negative feedback if you criticised their service... it seems that humans will find ways to game any system. I'm relatively socially liberal, but I completely recognize that more liberal areas and towns tend to attract people who are only interested in mooching off the system. It's a tough nut to crack - on the one hand you want to help people who are really in need, but on the other hand when you institute a system to do that, almost immediately you'll get other people trying to take advantage of that. Here in Eureka CA there are so many "homeless" people around town bugging you for spare change. It's frankly annoying, and reminds me of NYC, where I was effectively trained by the homeless there to avoid eye contact, since if they ever caught your eye then they would immediately try to exploit that by striking up a conversation (which would inevitably always lead to the sob story and appeal for money). Like I said, I'm socially liberal and want to help people out, but what to do about these people? There really are those in need, but when I was on the subway in New York going to work, every morning the same guy would come down the cars telling people that he had just been kicked out of his apartment and hadn't eaten for 3 days etc etc. For six months he had just been kicked out of his apartment. And I volunteered in the soup kitchens (with New York Cares) and I knew it was pretty much impossible to go without eating for 3 days in that town. There were places to go to get a free meal if nothing else. These "homeless" were simply exploiting people's better nature.

I've not listed myself on the Warm Showers or hospitality on crazyguyonabike currently, in part because of all the weird "homeless" people here in Eureka, and also because there are just so many people who come down the Pacific Coast, I fear a constant stream of moochers looking for a free meal and place to stay. It's better when you're off the beaten track, you're more likely to see "real" tourers, but there are just too many people around here who appear to have made mooching a lifestyle choice rather than an emergency measure.

Whenever I see a perfectly healthy young person standing around begging for money, I have to ask myself why and how they came to be here. Drugs? Mental illness? Simple desire to "drop out"? Laziness? That's probably a major reason, but it would certainly make for an interesting documentary, to really get these people's stories. In any case, most of the young, apparently healthy "homeless" people who I see hanging around Eureka seem to be completely self absorbed and really very concerned with cultivating a certain grungey "look" - the clothes, the hair artfully arranged in dreadlocks etc. This makes me wonder how "needy" these people really are. It especially makes me sad when I see them using an animal (usually a dog) to try to get people's sympathy. They put out a sign for dog food. One part of me says I'm being mean, maybe they're just lonely. The other, more cynical New Yawker tells me they are using the dog as a prop. Poor dog.

Sorry to get off-track, but this is something that has bugged me for a while. It seems that any time you try to make a system for being nice to people, it will immediately be taken advantage of by someone. And yet, does that mean you completely withdraw the service? It's a tough nut. Online communities tend to be very nice and congenial when they start off, but then as they grow and become more popular, you get more of the people coming in who don't feel so responsible, you get the trolls and attention seekers and the ones who just don't care. The collective IQ seems to plummet. When you're in a small room with people you know, it's good, but when you're in a huge hall with thousands upon thousands of other people, then things tend to go downhill. Digg and reddit are falling into this trap as they grow, it seems to happen everywhere. Crazyguyonabike is fairly lucky in that the community is fairly self-limiting - there will never be so many people there that it becomes unmanageable, I think. You can still get a handle on who's there and what's going on. Same with this forum, you keep running across the same people, and you get to know them and some of their foibles over time, which is nice.

I don't know how to address the "moochers vs real people" problem, except by perhaps screening people by phone before agreeing to offer them a place to stay, and then laying out strict rules as to what they can do and how long they can stay, etc. There's really no other way to be sure - you can just throw your home open to them and offer everything you have, but then eventually one of them will come along and just take it, and then you'll be another soured individual, ruined for everybody else by one selfish asshat. "Good fences make good neighbors", and similarly "Good rules make good guests".

Neil

well, kudos to those that put themselves out there to host bike tourers. sucks to try to help people that are only out to take advantage.

Over the years I have hosted many bike tourists that I have met while riding through Santa Barbara. I meet them while I am riding and give directions and/or ride with them. If I feel like it I offer them a place to stay clearly outlining my rules and expectations. I have not been disappointed yet.

Somehow I have never signed up at warmshowers or couch surfing hosting mainly because I want to directly assess the person in person before providing the hospitality offer. This probably reflects my age and curmudgeon status but it has worked for me. Unfortunately I have most likely missed out on many more positive contacts from hosted links than my hit or miss direct method!

I can't say that I've hosted people on tour, nor am I member of warmshowers. I do however, empathize with how you were treated (I have to be honest, one of my hot buttons is when people don't have the courtesy on craigslist to simply reply that an item is sold/no longer for sale or simply remove the ad -I mean, c'mon, how much effort is that? Hit the reply button? It really disgusts me.) It really is sad how some people just take for granted when others extend themselves for you. Hopefully no one will ever say that about me if I can help it.

Trying to look at the "positive" side, perhaps they really did suffer a mechanical? And maybe their cell phone didn't work? Or perhaps one of them got ill and was too embarrassed to go into detail? It might really have happened. However, if that was true, and assuming they'd really not been able to contact you, I would have been extremely apologetic -and to be honest, probably not called at that late hour and waited until the next day anyway. My guess is that you had the right read on them.

I understand and you're right, but knowing you I am still surprised you didn't cave in, go get them, and make them breakfast. :)

Any regrets the day after?

Nothing is going to happen if you don't post comments on warmshowers positive or negitive.

Historian, I have the warmshowers name of the 2 "cause" riders, if you would like to post a comment please let me know. My apologies since I sent them your way but they seemed to be pretty decent guests when they stayed with me. But post stay I had kind of mixed feelings. I had asked for their picture taken on the Montour Trail and never got it from them. I think that is little to ask for a two night stay. I have a contact for them in India and I am not going to forward it to them.


BTW feel free to post a comment on staying with me on my warmshowers on your stay with me. But after reference of the cause riders, maybe I would rather do not post anything. :)


But people please post those comments positive or negative on hosts and guests. It is probably not a good idea to agree to host anyone without first knowing their warmshowers name.

What I like to do on tour is to bring several refrigerator magnets from Pittsburgh. They are small and light. I give one to someone that goes above and beyond to show me a kindness. Not much but a nice little token of appreciation.

It WAS extremely difficult.
As soon as I hung up the phone -
I wanted to call back and say, "Oh, alright!"
You have me pegged, my friend.

XOXOXO to the kids.

I have not stayed with a Warmshowers host, but my wife and I have been the recipients fo many act of kindness from "angels of the road", e.g., we were invited to lunch at a person's home near Cleveland. After taking pictures, giving them our blog site address, we noted their house address on the way out. They received a thank you note a few days later. Bike shops that helpe us out also get the same treatment.

My wife and I hosted frequently from 1994 until 2002. We met a lot of great people from all over the world, many of whom we still correspond with. But the last two summers we hosted it seemed we attracted all the moochers and weirdos. Some other hosts had the same complaint and Roger( the list owner) worked to clean things up and things greatly improved from what we heard.

Now if we host cyclists it is those we meet while out riding, from BF , Phred list or CGOAB

Ouch! That reminds me of when I cycled in the Czech Republic and had to have my bb tightened up at a store. Even with the language divide I got the message of no charge, and I think I got it through to the guy I would at least send a postcard and a thanks..... It was easy, I thought -the guy gave me a sticker with the shop name and address on it which I promptly stuck on my bike, so I didn't write the address down.

Got back home and you guessed it, the sticker had been scraped making it illegible. Still bugs me to this day I couldn't keep my word.



I have not stayed with a Warmshowers host, but my wife and I have been the recipients fo many act of kindness from "angels of the road", e.g., we were invited to lunch at a person's home near Cleveland. After taking pictures, giving them our blog site address, we noted their house address on the way out. They received a thank you note a few days later. Bike shops that helpe us out also get the same treatment.

Which is one reason I kind of stayed away from WarmShowers, which at the time (maybe its changed?) that there was not much commenting/rating going on. Hence I have stuck to hospitalityclub which has a much larger user base and not just cyclist orientated and have had pretty good luck with that site. But I think it goes both ways. I use the rating system so I dont get stuck hosting any odd balls and/or staying with any if I do a tour.

Nothing is going to happen if you don't post comments on warmshowers positive or negitive.

Historian, I have the warmshowers name of the 2 "cause" riders, if you would like to post a comment please let me know. My apologies since I sent them your way but they seemed to be pretty decent guests when they stayed with me. But post stay I had kind of mixed feelings. I had asked for their picture taken on the Montour Trail and never got it from them. I think that is little to ask for a two night stay. I have a contact for them in India and I am not going to forward it to them.


BTW feel free to post a comment on staying with me on my warmshowers on your stay with me. But after reference of the cause riders, maybe I would rather do not post anything. :)


But people please post those comments positive or negative on hosts and guests. It is probably not a good idea to agree to host anyone without first knowing their warmshowers name.

What I like to do on tour is to bring several refrigerator magnets from Pittsburgh. They are small and light. I give one to someone that goes above and beyond to show me a kindness. Not much but a nice little token of appreciation.

It seems pointless for me to post anything about the Orphan riders to Warm Showers, since they didn't actually stay with me, nor contact me through the website. And besides, the probable "Fakin' Ryan" aspects of their ride has nothing to do with WS.

My son and I stayed with a Warmshowers host on our three-day tour/ride in April. Could not have asked for more generous and kind hosts, and they were also a lot of fun to hang out with. The man collects vintage bicycles, and they have a collection of peppermills on their dining table. Here's a photo of a peppermill I sent them, several months later, as a "thankyou." I made it myself, using bike parts I scavenged from the trash, and a peppermill also scavenged from the trash (but it's a Peugeot!).
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3423/3717070922_ac2a8a1474_b.jpg

RHM: That's the coolest visitor gift I've ever seen, both in creativity and thoughtfulness.

Let me know when you and your son are planning to tour Texas.

RHM: That's the coolest visitor gift I've ever seen, both in creativity and thoughtfulness.

Let me know when you and your son are planning to tour Texas.

Thanks! Yeah, I wish I could to something like that for everyone who's done something nice for me... sadly my gratitude sometimes exceeds my creativity.

I am on both Couchsurfing (my fave b/c of the references and user friendly aspect of the website) and Warmshowers site as well as some others. I have only hosted once from Warmshowers and it was a fantastic experience - we loved them so much, we wanted them to stay! One of my favorite guests of all time from Couchsurfing, came to stay for a night with his dog and stayed for a month and I live in a small apartment, but he fit right in and he could have stayed forever!

I think these sites are a fantastic way to make the world a smaller place - in fact we had a traveller show up early this morning. We are out of town this weekend, but she will be crashing at our place. I can't even say how many have stayed at my place over the years. Most have been amazing, a couple of duds, but in the span of my life I have met way more than a few duds! Definitely leave feedback regarding the guests even if you didn't end up hosting them, just explain the situtation so that others are made aware of it and can decide for themselves.

I have also been hosted many times and have met so many wonderful folx along the way - many, many incredible stories along the way.

Have hosting and surfing!

There's no such thing as a free lunch ...

To me, the network of 'Vrienden op de Fiets' is a better alternative. You stay with private people, you share their bathroom and you pay something to cover the breakfast and the fresh sheets. And at least, you stay in a real bed. Quite important if you're not anylonger a twentysomething and need to be fresh for the next day. Every year, all the hosts in the booklet are contacted by the organisation by phone, to hear how everything goes, and if there are complaints from guests, hosts are removed.

By the way, if you'd like to host cyclists this way, fill in the form 'Aanmelden overnachtingsadres' on their website. If you do so before the 1st of september, you will get mentioned in the 2010 booklet. Except for the Netherlands, Belgium, the number of hosts is still rather limited.

http://www.vriendenopdefiets.nl

Sounds like everything happened the way it should. They were disorganised and a bit presumptuous. They didn't get free accommodation. There's no harm in having firm rules up front and enforcing them.

I find the idea of a "late start" kind of funny. I was once in a group that didn't start until 10:30 one day due to a big breakfast at a very busy cafe, and I thought *that* was bad. Normally we're going by 9.

Steve

There's no such thing as a free lunch ...
To me, the network of 'Vrienden op de Fiets' is a better alternative. You stay with private people, you share their bathroom and you pay something to cover the breakfast and the fresh sheets. And at least, you stay in a real bed. Quite important if you're not anylonger a twentysomething and need to be fresh for the next day. Every year, all the hosts in the booklet are contacted by the organisation by phone, to hear how everything goes, and if there are complaints from guests, hosts are removed.

By the way, if you'd like to host cyclists this way, fill in the form 'Aanmelden overnachtingsadres' on their website. If you do it before the 1st of september, you get mentioned in the 2010 booklet.

http://www.vriendenopdefiets.nl

I used this, it was extremely nice where I stayed one night. Trying to book the second night in the next town, too many people had been asked to be taken off the list and had not been taken off it, so I gave up and used commercial properties instead.

User beware!

Thanks! Yeah, I wish I could to something like that for everyone who's done something nice for me... sadly my gratitude sometimes exceeds my creativity.

When we tour in places other than Australia, Rowan buys up a collection of Australian pins (little kangaroos etc.) and passes them out to anyone who has been particularly helpful ... even with directions to a campground or something when we're completely lost.

It's not anything big, and they are not heavy or bulky to carry around, but it's one way to say "Thank you" with a bit more impact than just saying the words.

I've also done things like sending nice Canadian calendars to people I've stayed with, with beautiful scenes from across Canada.

I think leaving someone out at 9:30pm is a bit harsh.

I've never used warmshowers but I've hosted people, given long rides and went out of my way to help hitch-hikers. I've received help many times as well. I don't expect anything more than a "thank you" on the spot and hope they'll return the favor to someone else. Don't send stuff, I garantee it will end up in a landfill.

I think leaving someone out at 9:30pm is a bit harsh.


Thank you for making my decisions for me.

Considering that I had been given the run around the day before - and that they were probably lying when they said that they were 30 miles out from town at 3:00 in the afternoon - I feel perfectly fine about saying, "No". It may come as a surprise to you, but other people do have lives, as well. And I can say this as someone with 100,000 miles of cycling - so I've been on both sides of the equation. If someone cannot show up remotely close to when they said they were going to be there - if they do not bother to call and let the host know of delays - then I have no obligation to wait around until they decide to appear.

It's something called courtesy - - look it up.

PS - There are campgrounds and motels in my community within a few blocks.

Kudos to Spinnaker - even something as small and seemingly insignificant as a fridge magnet shows appreciation.

My partner and I have hosted two WS cyclists for several days at a time, cooked them dinners and breakfasts, opened up the fridge to them, washed their clothes, driven them to the local shop for bike repairs. Neither offered a tiny token of appreciation.

I don't want to suggest it's about compensation - just about recognizing the kindness a perfect stranger shows by opening their doors.

Hey Spin, next time you have some of those refrigerator magnets made up, why don't you incorporate this photo of a RANDOM cyclist who seems to be walking his bike up a tiny hill even though it looks like he has already shed some panniers to a sag vehicle :roflmao2: :roflmao2:

http://i299.photobucket.com/albums/mm320/robow7/DSCN0209.jpg?t=1249595450

Thank you for making my decisions for me.

Considering that I had been given the run around the day before - and that they were probably lying when they said that they were 30 miles out from town at 3:00 in the afternoon - I feel perfectly fine about saying, "No". It may come as a surprise to you, but other people do have lives, as well. And I can say this as someone with 100,000 miles of cycling - so I've been on both sides of the equation. If someone cannot show up remotely close to when they said they were going to be there - if they do not bother to call and let the host know of delays - then I have no obligation to wait around until they decide to appear.

It's something called courtesy - - look it up.

PS - There are campgrounds and motels in my community within a few blocks.

Geez, why so touchy?
Nobody made a decision for you, and I'm sure Erick is perfectly aware of what courtesy is. He just happens to disagree with you, and so do I. I think it's a tad harsh as well. No need to get upset.

And for the record, is it 75,000 or 100,000 touring miles? I can't keep up. ;)

Kudos to Spinnaker - even something as small and seemingly insignificant as a fridge magnet shows appreciation.

My partner and I have hosted two WS cyclists for several days at a time, cooked them dinners and breakfasts, opened up the fridge to them, washed their clothes, driven them to the local shop for bike repairs. Neither offered a tiny token of appreciation.

I don't want to suggest it's about compensation - just about recognizing the kindness a perfect stranger shows by opening their doors.

In my case it was reading a blog about all the things our touring couple did in San Diego, never once mentioning that they had been hosted by locals who spent the weekend squiring them around. Not mentioning that they had support during their stay made the entry a bit of a fiction. No compensation or specific recognition is wanted, just some sense that the good time they had involved the goodwill of strangers.

It seems we all have to step up and make the few bad tourists not outshine the grateful tourists!!!


I think maybe Neil has some conservative in him??:rolleyes:


I'm relatively socially liberal, but I completely recognize that more liberal areas and towns tend to attract people who are only interested in mooching off the system.
Neil

Geez, why so touchy?
Nobody made a decision for you, and I'm sure Erick is perfectly aware of what courtesy is. He just happens to disagree with you, and so do I. I think it's a tad harsh as well. No need to get upset.

And for the record, is it 75,000 or 100,000 touring miles? I can't keep up. ;)

Beg your pardon -
Erick stated, "I think leaving someone out at 9:30pm is a bit harsh."

That is pretty, damn judgmental as well as presumptuous.
Erick didn't have to assume any risk or make any personal accommodations.
So what do I do - hang around with my thumb up my whatever until they decide to show up?
Or do I just tell them where I live and leave the door open?

It's all fine and good to be left/liberal - And BTW I was in Birmingham in the 1960s, worked to free the Wilmington 10, and organized for textile workers' rights in the Carolinas - so I think I have a few progressive bonafides, thank you very much.

But when people call the day before when I have asked in the website for two to three days notice - then change their mind and put it off for a day - meanwhile, I continue to say, "Yes" even though I have a previous engagement - then fib about when they started and where they are even though I have asked them to arrive before 7:00 - then not even bother to inform me that they will be way late - - right.

Then, yes, I think I am perfectly in my rights to say, "No, thank you."
And people who are so quick to judge those who offer genuine hospitality only add to the negative perception of this process.

As I said before, it's called "courtesy" and these young women had none.

Being hospitable doesn't mean being a doormat.

Jamawani, you have all the rights to say no but I still find that a bit harsh. Personnally, I would not have invited them with one day's notice in the first place but since you did offered them a roof, does it matter that much if they arrive late? You found them rude, fine. "Having a life" is a poor excuse since you were expecting them anyway.

Don't call me judgemental when you wrote them off as drinking and drugging their way across the country. You "assumed" there were cell phone coverage. I live in a big city and get disconnected sometimes. They told you they had a flat and fell but you didn't buy it. Have you considered that they didn't call you because you told them you wouldn't be there in the evening? What if they were really in trouble? If your experience should have thought you anything, it's that you haven't experienced everything.

I understand it sucked big time. You made your decision and I respect that, but I still think it was a bit harsh to turn them away at the last minute.

well I had never even hear of the warmshowers or the Dutch site until this thread so thanks!!!

I have hosted tons of ppl over the years without being a member of any site and I have been hosted by tons.

I always say thanks and send note, or if I can I cook a Hungarian meal for my hosts and I always cook one for guests. This is always a big hit.

I lik the little pins gift, great idea...

Regarding these sites I think you might want to look into servas. it was the original such organization as far as I know and is recognized by the UN.. servas.org

Robi

I haven't had a warmshowers hosting experience yet -- in fact, I just took my name off the list. Why? I got an email from a guy who said he was in town for a few weeks "making money to continue my tour" and needed a place to stay for a few days while he worked.

So, in advance of that email I thought it would be so cool to have someone stay, since I've been hosted before (not via warmshowers, i've never asked) - but in practice, I just started imagining this broke, homeless dude on a bike, showing up and then not leaving, and having to try to get rid of him, and then what about when I'm out, do I kick the guy out or change my plans and stay home or just leave him in my house (with my computer and my bikes and etc), and my boyfriend wasn't home so what if he decides he's a ****** or a thief or.....

So, I didn't host him.

Kudos to all of you who are willing to open your homes to strangers - it's a lot easier to talk about it than to actually do it, as I just found out.

Personally, I like the mode where you meet a person and they invite you into their home (or vice versa) after knowing each other a little bit. The blind internet connection is scary.

Peace.

I haven't had a warmshowers hosting experience yet -- in fact, I just took my name off the list. Why? I got an email from a guy who said he was in town for a few weeks "making money to continue my tour" and needed a place to stay for a few days while he worked.

So, in advance of that email I thought it would be so cool to have someone stay, since I've been hosted before (not via warmshowers, i've never asked) - but in practice, I just started imagining this broke, homeless dude on a bike, showing up and then not leaving, and having to try to get rid of him, and then what about when I'm out, do I kick the guy out or change my plans and stay home or just leave him in my house (with my computer and my bikes and etc), and my boyfriend wasn't home so what if he decides he's a ****** or a thief or.....

So, I didn't host him.

Kudos to all of you who are willing to open your homes to strangers - it's a lot easier to talk about it than to actually do it, as I just found out.

Personally, I like the mode where you meet a person and they invite you into their home (or vice versa) after knowing each other a little bit. The blind internet connection is scary.

Peace.

Its one thing to ride alongside and converse with a tourer for a half an hour or so and then if it feels right offer a room, or the couch, or lawn etc for his use for the night and quite another to commit to an unsolicited request from a stranger asking to stay in your home. It's not even that I necessarily think that the request is from a potential criminal.

It's that I value my privacy and I am not willing to have it violated when someone makes me uncomfortable in my own home. And to feel uncomfortable only after that person leaves because of something they did or didn't do during or after his visit is just as much an affront. I make mistakes in judgment even after chatting face-to-face with someone: if were to allow someone into my home without even that, there would be no basis for a judgment of any kind.