Clydesdales/Athenas (200+ lb / 91+ kg) - backsliding

I can't seem to get back to it like before. I started at 389# got down to 268# then some bad thing happened in my life over the last year. Now I'm 294# steadily gaining weight. I just don't have the motivation anymore. PLEASE HELP

Unfortunately, nobody can give you motivation. You have to do it yourself.

But, I'll share my motivation with you. I have promised myself a new bike when I hit my goal weight (199#). I can get it now, but I'm using it as motivation to reach my goal.

You have to have that carrot dangling out there if you want the horse to chase it.

Just think back to how good you felt about dropping all that weight. Bad stuff happens. That's nothing new. Just remember bad stuff is only temporary. And sometimes you have to take a step backwards to be able to go forward again.

I rewarded myself with a new gunnar crosshairs at 100# lost so another new bike, my wife will kill me

What were the bad things which happened, aj? I'm really sorry to read of your troubles...

You made the first step forward by admitting to yourself that you are having trouble. You made the second step forward by posting and asking for help. The third step forward will be getting on the bike for just a short ride to make sure everything on the bike is working properly.

Don't let the bad stuff keep you off of your bike for 5 years like it did me.
Good luck to you. I know you can do it.

Hi AJ,
I have been trying to get motivated to do some kind of exercise for quite some time. I just couldn't find it in me to do it. But something about commuting to work appeals to me. There's a guy at work who does it and he is super nice. He has offered advice and support to me despite my looking so out of shape. He believes I can do it. But that's not what made me get the bike and start riding. First it was getting the bike. I couldn't afford to buy one--kept looking and looking on CL but everything was either just wrong for some reason or too expensive. Then I found out about the collective. They were closed at the time--moving to a new location. Another stumbling block. But I kept checking up on them until I found out where they had moved. So it was really the pursuit of the bike itself that got me geared up. Then it was working on it and feeling the pride of doing it myself (with help of course). After all that how could I not ride it. And I have kept up working on maintainance and fixing it up. I changed the grips, I added lights, I put on a rack bag. Then we got my partner a bike and that was a whole ordeal of looking everywhere and finally finding it on CL. So, now I have a partner to ride with. It's just all been a progression. I don't know that any of this will help with your motivation. But it was finally there for me. I wanted it for a long time and then there it was.
Don't beat yourself up. That's the worst thing we do to ourselves. Just accept. When the time is right, it will be right. I will keep you in my thoughts.
Kate

I'm Aj my wife's Becky. My wife and lost our baby 6 months into the pregnancy we both took it extremely hard and I had surgery on my rear end which keep me off my bike for 6 months or so PS were pregnant again which were very happy about but also scared to death at the same time because of last time

Motivation, Focus on the good, don't dwell on the bad. You are pregnant, (you as in you and your wife) focus on the joy that your new child will bring. Plan on getting healthy so you can enjoy every-moment you can with your child. A person can crush themselves dreading everything bad that could happen. It is better to plan for the best and your future with your child. congratulations.

P.S. right now is the moment, not later, now.

I'm Aj my wife's Becky. My wife and lost our baby 6 months into the pregnancy we both took it extremely hard and I had surgery on my rear end which keep me off my bike for 6 months or so PS were pregnant again which were very happy about but also scared to death at the same time because of last time

My condolences to you and your wife for the loss of your child. I'm very sorry to read of it.

You've done the most important steps with your weight gain - noticing it and deciding to take action. Now it's a matter of following through.

Go ride. If anything, just to clear your mind and get some fresh air. Get a bike for your wife and you two roll out and have some fun together. Despite your terrible hardship, life continues on. You need to find something to do together to strengthen your bond. You will have another chance, my mother lost 2 children before she had me. Best wishes.

I have found my bike to be the greatest form of therapy for what troubles the world may bring. The bike will also help you become more fit and healthy for your new family member when he/she arrives. You have grand children to look forward to.

Might as well take some steps to make sure you are around and able to enjoy those special years that are headed your way.

Thanks for all the kind words. I went out for a 16 mile ride yesterday evening which was great.

Get yourself in shape so you're still around to raise your kids and see your grandkids and their kids. That should be a motivation.