Mountain Biking - How to prevent scrapes to the penis on a fall ?

So, as you may have guessed from the topic title, I took a fall on asphalt on my MTB and my penis got rubbed hard against the asphalt because I landed with the front of my body. The accident caused a little skin towards the top of the penis to split and it bled a little. I went to the doctor to have it checked out. He gave me a pill antibiotic, it's been about a week now and everything seems to be working fine. My penis has recovered pretty well. But now, of course, is the psychological damage that such an accident can cause to a man.

I want to do something to protect my penis from this happening again. I was thinking about slipping a pair of socks into my white briefs, so that would serve as a soft barrier against scrapes. It could be some other item, like foam or something.

What do you all think about this type of protection ?

Do you have any other ideas that could work ?

You weren't biking through a nudist colony, were you?

Seriously, this seems to be a rare injury to me. At least I've never heard of it occurring before anyway. I think taking the precaution of padding your shorts is unnecessary overkill, however I'm sure it will help impress the ladies.

That must have been some spectacular fall - because you are the first, and only person I've ever heard of to manage to do that. As for all the foam and what not, doubt you'd be comfortable riding that way. You could wear a sports cup, that'll give max protection. But seriously, you weren't riding with your willy hanging out were you?

Get a leather jock-strap. And try to remember to wear your pants the next time you decide to go riding.

http://racy.com/faux-leather-lace-up-front-jock-black.html

Your legs and belly should give enough protection. Most of my falls have been on my side, although I went over the bars once and injured my shoulder and back. My shins have taken plenty of pain from the pedals.

Fill your pants with Great Stuff foam insulation.

This has to be a joke, right? At the very least about the socks? Right? Right?

If serious: Padded bike shorts/baggies. Duh. Tuck things safely away, and try not to land on Chucky and the twins. I always try to land with my crotch on something soft and velvety, but that may just be me.

I can only imagine how uncomfortable it might be to ride around with socks shoved down the front of your shorts. I mean, out at the bars in town is one thing, but when on the bike???

That must have been some spectacular fall - because you are the first, and only person I've ever heard of to manage to do that. As for all the foam and what not, doubt you'd be comfortable riding that way. You could wear a sports cup, that'll give max protection. But seriously, you weren't riding with your willy hanging out were you?

Well I'm surprised you're surprised. You hit a speedbump, loose control, slip you're foot from the pedal, fall foward, and masturbate with the road. Not as funny as I made it sound, believe me, it hurts a lot. And you panic psychologically. I was wearing white briefs and MTB padded shorts. However, that pad doesn't reach all the way to the penis, unfortunately for me. It's the baby maker, I gotta protect it.

http://andthecowgoesmoo.files.wordpress.com/2008/08/frank-costanza-meets-the-fusilli-jerry.jpg

"It was a million to one shot, doc. Million to one."

Why the hell were you wearing briefs with MTB shorts?

However, that pad doesn't reach all the way to the penis, unfortunately for me. It's the baby maker, I gotta protect it.

The "baby maker?" How quaint and how not men truly regard this piece of the male anatomy. :D

Why the hell were you wearing briefs with MTB shorts?

Haha. What did you wanted me to destroy it ? Thank god I was wearing underwear.

My money's on this becoming the most viewed thread of the year.

The "baby maker?" How quaint and how not men truly regard this piece of the male anatomy. :D

Are you smelling tr0ll?

My money's on this becoming the most viewed thread of the year.

No bet. It's destined. Quick! Sell advertising for product-placement in this! Ka-CHING!! :p

My money's on this becoming the most viewed thread of the year.

Oh yeah laugh at my pain. You guys must understand. It's the most important part of a man's body. It's well being comes before everything else.

This has to be a joke, right? At the very least about the socks? Right? Right?

If serious: Padded bike shorts/baggies. Duh. Tuck things safely away, and try not to land on Chucky and the twins. I always try to land with my crotch on something soft and velvety, but that may just be me.

I can only imagine how uncomfortable it might be to ride around with socks shoved down the front of your shorts. I mean, out at the bars in town is one thing, but when on the bike???

No joke at all. And I do wear padded MTB shorts, but that pad doesn't go all the way up to the penis. And If I tuck it down to the pad, won't that cause pressure against the saddle ?

Oh yeah laugh at my pain. You guys must understand. It's the most important part of a man's body. It's well being comes before everything else.

I ain't laughin' man, I feel your pain. It's just that a title like that is hard to resist. ;)

There's only one solution btw and it doesn't work so well on a bike I'd guess, a good ole cup.

Just tuck it into your sock. Works for me.

Rule of life for men: don't sit on your penis.

I'm not going to have a conversation with you about how to tuck your junk out of the way.

Wow. For the record, this is one of the weirder posts I've seen if it's not a joke. I guess you could probably wear a jock strap that would minimally interfere with your shorts. It'd at least be an extra layer of cloth between you and the sidewalk. Realistically though, what do you think the chances of that happening twice are?

Wow. For the record, this is one of the weirder posts I've seen if it's not a joke.

so weird it's posted in two different forums...

So far, you've used the word "penis" 6 times and "masturbate 1 time. You've called your penis a "baby maker", and "the most important part of a man's body".

Are you an 8th grader? Surely you are not an adult.

so weird it's posted in two different forums...

Yeah sorry about that. I keep saying though, it's not a joke. I just like a lot of replies.

Wow. For the record, this is one of the weirder posts I've seen if it's not a joke. I guess you could probably wear a jock strap that would minimally interfere with your shorts. It'd at least be an extra layer of cloth between you and the sidewalk. Realistically though, what do you think the chances of that happening twice are?

I know the chances are slim, but now I'm gonna be scared when I go out riding.

So far, you've used the word "penis" 6 times and "masturbate 1 time. You've called your penis a "baby maker", and "the most important part of a man's body".

Are you an 8th grader? Surely you are not an adult.

I do believe penis is the most "medical" term for it.

Yeah sorry about that. I keep saying though, it's not a joke. I just like a lot of replies.

I don't see how what you described is even possible unless you've got an erection while you're riding and when you fall you grab the back of your ankles and purposely use your torso and crotch to break your fall.

If it's not a joke then I don't think you're the sort of person advice could possible work on.

It's just that a title like that is hard to resist.

I was reading one of those "numbness" threads where they invent a dozen names for the penis to mask the name. They told the guy to stop masking it and say it how it is. I took my title idea from that.

I want to do something to protect my penis from this happening again. I was thinking about slipping a pair of socks into my white briefs, so that would serve as a soft barrier against scrapes. It could be some other item, like foam or something.

What do you all think about this type of protection ?

Do you have any other ideas that could work ?

Solution: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:LeatherCod.jpg

Hoo boy I stumbled upon a guy thread...

I have a simple solution for you. But it has to be a visual thing.

Don't make me post THE pic....

Hoo boy I stumbled upon a guy thread...

I have a simple solution for you. But it has to be a visual thing.

Don't make me post THE pic....

If it's a leather codpiece, I already posted in the *other* thread he started.

Please don't post THE pic.

Wait, what pic?

Please post THE pic.


Per Dan's request, THE pic.........


http://i123.photobucket.com/albums/o286/Flycrow/jopnpinksx3.jpg

DUCT TAPE FTW!!!

Easiest solution:
Don't fall.

Failing that...Use your hands and knees!

Roll with the fall, land on your side, land on your ass, land on you FACE if you have to.

And aside from that...I don't view my own penis as the most important part of my body. Rather, I regard it as the most annoying. Always in the way, uncomfortable, and the whole area sweats too bloody much.

Seriously though? Learn to fall.

And to think, I thought I had it bad when I got stung in the lip, by a yellow jacket Tuesday night while riding. You sir have made me feel much better! :thumb:

Trolling for the hell of things?

or

speaking of socks, someone using a puppet?

No trolling people. It happens. You can check, I've been here for a while and made plenty of serious threads. I'm not just gonna come out of nowhere and start trolling.

Easiest solution:
Don't fall.

Failing that...Use your hands and knees!

Roll with the fall, land on your side, land on your ass, land on you FACE if you have to.

And aside from that...I don't view my own penis as the most important part of my body. Rather, I regard it as the most annoying. Always in the way, uncomfortable, and the whole area sweats too bloody much.

Seriously though? Learn to fall.

What this guy said.
Tuck and roll!!!

Zeo, not trying to be a jerk but I keep thinking about this and I just can't imagine how you would land on the asphalt and the first thing to hit was something that is usually protected by the natural reaction of the knees and hands. Why didn't you buckle?

And you said it was split. Did you hit something sharp like glass or something? Or was this a result of abrasion?

We Want Pics! We Want Pics! We Want Pics!

Without pictures - it didn't happen. :p

ouch, this has happened to me before although i was slip and sliding not mtbing.

If it's a leather codpiece, I already posted in the *other* thread he started.

Actually - you stole the idea from me. Or you're being unaware. Scroll back. :eek:

Oh yeah - it happened to me, too. But I was 14 and the asphalt was named Karen and Karen had braces. I bear (NOT bare) the scars today of this catastrophe. You might find rubbing some liniment helps..... ;)

The crossposted threads were merged. So things may seem a bit off here.

Zeo, not trying to be a jerk but I keep thinking about this and I just can't imagine how you would land on the asphalt and the first thing to hit was something that is usually protected by the natural reaction of the knees and hands. Why didn't you buckle?

And you said it was split. Did you hit something sharp like glass or something? Or was this a result of abrasion?

After hitting a speedbump the wrong way, I lost footing on my left pedal, and kinda got dragged because I didn't let go of my handlebars. In that split second, all I could do was steer slightly to the left to break the fall with a slope of dirt on the side of the road, I did that so I didn't continue gaining speed. At the fall I landed belly first. Hence the injury at hand. I also got my handlebars hitting my ribcage, and a severe bruise to my left knee. I was on a group that day, and at the moment I didn't realize how severe the injuries were, so to not ruin everyone's ride, I kept going for about 12 more miles. When I got home and went to the bathroom, I noticed a spot of blood on my underwear. It was a result of abrasion.

Look into some better padded shorts.

Im looking at getting a pair of Fox shorts right now... for Apparel and saftey I've always loved Fox. I find their background in MX and ATV's helps extensively.


Lets try to be somewhat serious folks??

IDK if it's just my job that takes the humor out of this or what.

The crash itself seems funny, the injury and his concerns are different.


-I wouldn't freak out to much about this,99.9879% of the time this will never happen again. Just like those who have broken collar bones, ribs, arms etc. they don't let the injuries stop them from loving the sport.

by the sounds of the crash, maybe something on your bike bit ya?

I'm thinking that a hollowed out gourd with some of those tarp rivets and a medium size bungee cord should do the trick.

You could also get creative with some plaster of paris...or just give Mark Wahlberg a call and rent that "thingy" he used for that one movie.

So the little helmet that Mr. Winky always wears didn't protect him? :eek:


Dude, the odds of it happening again, if it happened at all, are about the same as lightning striking twice, so in the words of 'Dirty' Harry Callahan; "Do you feel lucky, punk?" ;) Just ride your bike and let the lightning strike where it may.

OK, here's what you do, get yourself some Silly Putty, a bungee cord, and a hamster...





Dude, if you're serious about this, ouch. But in all the falls I've ever taken, Mr. Johnson has never been hurt. I wouldn't worry about this happening again. Freak accident.

Everyone is overlooking the obvious issue here. A speedbump threw the guy off of his bike. Dude, better bike handling and this won't happen again.

..Maybe you shouldn't ride bikes anymore..