Singlespeed & Fixed Gear - The hell that is outside the city

***Disclaimer: this a total rip on the boringness of the 'burbs and how egocentrics grow like chemically fertilzed lawns out here. If you are a staunch supporter of the suburbs and take offense to others belittling these towns, avert your eyes. I hate the 'burbs.***

So I recently relocated outside the beautiful Chicago borders, situating myself 32 miles to the northwest of the Big Onion. The reason are not important, nor are they permanent. Call it renewal, call it time to move.
So fixie and I figure it's time to set our territory. After getting my as **** straight and unloaded as possible, I go for a ride last night. For those of you used to the city, this is something you should experience to hone your defensive reactions whilst cycling. I was brushed twice, given a verbal point value, and it was suggested that my bike belongs on the sidewalk. I caught up with that gentleman and said that in his world, my bike would be on the sidewalk. In MY world, his car would be up his ass. I reminded him that I pay taxes too.
So, not off to a good start in the 'burbs. Not bike friendly at all. ****ty to say the least.
Heed my warning - move to the suburbs if you want boredom, 5x the daily RDA of SUVs a city sees, and impolite, unaware dip****s. These people get scared and swerve/honk if they see you 50ft back in their rearview mirror.
NOTE: Tattoos seem to scare these people, a lot. Funny.
I am sure I can hold out here to get done what I need to do for myself. But that is it. No longer than needed.

I will update this as needed.

I had to ride to the burbs friday - it SUCKED!!! Give me urban assault riding over it any day.

I don't like bike paths much either.

Shane! Come back, Shane!

']These people get scared and swerve/honk if they see you 50ft back in their rearview mirror.


oh yes, i know these kind of people from growing up in arizona. in the winter all the elderly people (called snowbirds) would swarm the city in a procession of slow moving, overly cautious, giant buicks and lincoln towncars.

So ask me how I feel on my burb/city commute when I get back...

Ask me how I deal with it. And you all think I'm just irascable...

Are we talking a cookie-cutter suburb built in the last ten years, with old grumps who haven't ridden since they were eleven, and new-money twits who wouldn't think of riding a bike?

Are we talking a cookie-cutter suburb built in the last ten years, with old grumps who haven't ridden since they were eleven, and new-money twits who wouldn't think of riding a bike?
this is a suburb established some 30 years+ ago.

situating myself 32 miles to the northwest

This sounds vaguely familiar. If you moved where I think you moved...May God help you!

This sounds vaguely familiar. If you moved where I think you moved...May God help you!
moments from your old stomping grounds. but as I said - temporary. I just may have to fixie terrorize Busse

']moments from your old stomping grounds. but as I said - temporary. I just may have to fixie terrorize Busse

You know I'll be up for it!

i live in a tiny little town and i just do what i want, the best defence is a good offence. just go hard and dont let anyone give you ****. i hold up traffic all the time because the old ladies are too scared to pass.

i live in a tiny little town and i just do what i want, the best defence is a good offence. just go hard and dont let anyone give you ****. i hold up traffic all the time because the old ladies are too scared to pass.

I don't know if this would work in the more affluent Chicago suburbs. The drivers are a-holes, driving wherever, whenever they want. They don't drive, often times, as if they have any conscience. Typicaly social-Darwinist attitudes.

I recently moved from Austin to Houston and If I get cut off by one more rich princess in her SUV yaking on her cell phone I'm gonna... Well I hope you have seen Taxi Driver.

"You talkin' to me?"

Roommate and I biked to Wood Dale, her 'rents home, about 26 miles from where we live (two blocks from Wrigley - it's a joy to f@#king tear through drunken chads and trixies post-Game). The ride to the burbs was interesting, rode on the highway past the airport, got honked at, flipped the finger many a time, tried to stay warm (did this for Thanksgiving) in a chilly headwind with the temps about 38. It was a hard two hours.

The ride home was stellar, but I could never do a suburb in America, no sirree.

Wichita is all sprawl. In Wichita 90% of the populations yells get on the sidewalk to each bicyclist that dares invade their space. Then they laugh and grin to each other in some sort of tandem, mindless, hick way. Garn, u showed him, Elmer!

']
So, not off to a good start in the 'burbs. Not bike friendly at all. ****ty to say the least.


The 'burbs are all about escape, ego, image, automobiles, comfort, conformity, consumption, property values, getting ahead of the next guy and most of all avoiding other people. The only plus side is that some 'burbs have better access to undeveloped (=undestroyed) land....until it too gets plowed under.

bkr,
raised in the nasty 'burbs, escaped to town/city life

buy a gun

Just watch out for all the coked up little rich 16 year olds that are "fast and furious".

proactively find and kill them. they deserve death

proactively find and kill them. they deserve death

Gee, Wrench, I figured you and your Republican buddies would be at home in the burbs where your conservative beliefs would never be challenged.

proactively find and kill them. they deserve death

And this looney tune SOB.

Boy.. where has the real FG forum gone?

Not to fan the fire or anything, but does Chicago have any sort of conceal & carry law on the books or in the works?

I recently moved from Austin to Houston and If I get cut off by one more rich princess in her SUV yaking on her cell phone I'm gonna... Well I hope you have seen Taxi Driver.
So you're liking it here eh? Where you at in Humble? I'm just up 59 15 minutes. I never thought another fixie rider lived that close.

165, at least in the 'burbs' proper you shouldn't have to deal with drunk rednecks quite as much as I get to out in the sticks. There driving skills are exceptional.

And this looney tune SOB.

Boy.. where has the real FG forum gone?

Ain't he a hoot?... A real special one.

i'll live in a big city, a small town, the mountains, the woods, the moon........ anywhere but the f@#*ing suburbs.

Not to fan the fire or anything, but does Chicago have any sort of conceal & carry law on the books or in the works?

Coincidentally, I had this conversation last night. My drummer has a firearms licence, and our engineer (sound) wanted to get a gun. In Chicago you aren't allowed period. You have to live outside of Chicago to own, buy and get a licence for a gun. When applying for a licence, your address must be in the suburbs.

A friend of mine, who carries around a few G's worth of camera gear on him and shoots abandoned buildings with me from time to time, carries a taser. I suppose I agreed with him since he has all the gear and if you're shooting in the middle of nowhere with all this equipment, last thing you want to do is get jacked. Never thought about it much, but I only carry a few hundred dollars worth of camera gear as opposed to his thousands.

Even better than a Taser is equipment insurance. Let the dude run off with the gear that's easily traceable and get enough cash to replace your stolen stuff and then some. Insurance = win.

I like that plan, Dave. I'm not sure how it works in the real world but it sounds like a way to get new **** relatively cheap. [165] please tell the elk I said hello. :roflmao: that didn't sound right. Damn beer is making me incoherent again. Anyway, I hope you have better luck in that area than I did. I loved the city but I HATED living in Schaumburg. I cannot emphasize enough what a pit of yuppie despair that was.

There is a herd of elk in elk grove village that are surrounded by a multi use path that I used to ride around when I lived there. That's what I'm talking about just so you people know before y'all start in on whatever.

I once hit a turkey with my bike. A wild one. It was funny.

MMMM turkey!

[165] please tell the elk I said hello.
one asked for you by the name "tiny"...whatever that means

Ain't he a hoot?... A real special one.

He's special. Oh yeah. He must be the reincarnation of someone who got spanked off the forum. Some real cool cat with a hair up his 244.

one asked for you by the name "tiny"...whatever that means
Hey, it's better than being called Neal. :roflmao:

I once hit a turkey with my bike. A wild one. It was funny.

a deer broadsided my friend on his bike once. he wasnt injured, just really confused. that was like a decade ago and I'm still laughing about it

I've been in a lot of big cities (burbs included), and of all of them suburban Chicago traffic by far seems to be the most aggressive and dangerous. Why is this??? Even driving in a car, I'm intimidated by it. NYC traffic is nothing by comparison.

cuz everyone out in the 'burbs in a total ****wit, egocentric, gimme-gimme moron. Except me of course.

The people ranting on streetcorners make more sense to me than people in the suburbs.

']cuz everyone out in the 'burbs in a total ****wit, egocentric, gimme-gimme moron. Except me of course.

I hear you man. I was riding my single speed on Shelter Island (a far cry from NYC). Some ***** came up behind me in her big suv Honked her horn and yelled something at me because I was on the street then passes me and thirty seconds after that pulls into a country club. People in the burbs can be real ignorant *******s and the funniest thing is that they are the crystallization of postmodern society and do not even realize it!

']cuz everyone out in the 'burbs in a total ****wit, egocentric, gimme-gimme moron. Except me of course.

and of course except me, if I lived in the 'burbs, but we just rule the world instead. :D

Hahaha....you moved the the burbs........haha......HAHAHAHA!

and of course except me, if I lived in the 'burbs, but we just rule the world instead. :D

and me too of course.

Now, GET OFF MY LAWN!!!!
:)

i'll risk further offense, as i know many here are from chi-town. but that sounds exactly what i would expect from chicago's suburbs-- a bunch of uninformed, unprogressive, reactionary midwestern yahoos. i went to college out there, and the amount of provincial reactionism out there was suffocating. this is also a place where people get spooked driving on any road without 90 degree angles and totally flatness. to avoid full flaming, however, riding along Lake Michigan is really uniquely a great ride.

and me too of course.

Now, GET OFF MY LAWN!!!!
:)

Unless you're gonna cut it for me!

i'll risk further offense, as i know many here are from chi-town. but that sounds exactly what i would expect from chicago's suburbs-- a bunch of uninformed, unprogressive, reactionary midwestern yahoos. i went to college out there, and the amount of provincial reactionism out there was suffocating. this is also a place where people get spooked driving on any road without 90 degree angles and totally flatness. to avoid full flaming, however, riding along Lake Michigan is really uniquely a great ride.

Ah... there is some of that element here, but on the whole, I prefer the Midwest to the general provincialism of the NE. People work here and are more down to earth. This seems a bit strong: "a bunch of uninformed, unprogressive, reactionary midwestern yahoos." Keep in mind that here in Chicago, and through many Midwestern states, most vote Democrat. We ain't the Bible belt. Not that I hold any sort of love for the suburbs but I'd take Chicago over any other big city in this country, any day.

Ah... there is some of that element here, but on the whole, I prefer the Midwest to the general provincialism of the NE. People work here and are more down to earth. This seems a bit strong: "a bunch of uninformed, unprogressive, reactionary midwestern yahoos." Keep in mind that here in Chicago, and through many Midwestern states, most vote Democrat. We ain't the Bible belt. Not that I hold any sort of love for the suburbs but I'd take Chicago over any other big city in this country, any day.

yea, i was just blabbing. i know chicago's got a deep-rooted working class, democrat foothold, it's not the bible belt, and, plus, house started there. been to some of the greatest parties in chitown back when people used to go nutty. so i got respects for y'all. i just wouldn't live there, personally. IMHO. sorry for being stupid

We ain't the Bible belt.

What's wrong with the Bible Belt?

...oh right. Sorry, I forgot.

Unless you're gonna cut it for me!

I never cut it. Some group comes by the house once a week and cuts it. I don't pay them, but they just mow it. Lawn Ferries I guess. Used to have a tanbark front yard until I found termites, so I dug it out and planted grass. I hated grass, but my kid loves to play on it.. and all I really do is put water on it at night once and a while.

Course my back yard is free of plants that require constant care. Fact I bricked the hole dam thing so I could put a bike or two back there when I want to.

Oh come on I love the suburbs. When I lived in Fairfax Virginia I used to love to get up at 5:30 AM so I could make it to work by 9:00. Work hard all day and then sit on the highway listening to cd's till 7:00 get home flip on the TV drop some valiums and have a few beers, and wait in a dreary state till the morning and start it all over again. And then on the weekends mow and fertilize the lawn go to F'in Home Depot blah blah blah. (I did play in a punk rock band there and it was the only thing worthwhile.)

I determined after one year of that sh1t that I would rather sleep on a hot street vent in a cardboard box in the city rather than a 500 thousand dollar central air-conditioned jail cell in the burbs. Geese the garages they have out there for their cars are like holy temples to the automobile. It takes forever to get anywhere and everything and everyone is made out of plastic and if you looked real hard you could see it all melting into oblivion. From now on it's either the city or the country for me, currently the ladder

Some people lead quite lives of desperation

']NOTE: Tattoos seem to scare these people, a lot. Funny.

That's funny because I get the same reaction when I go sleeveless and they see my tattoos!