Foo - Hostile takeover of Couchology.....

Well folks....it's been an interesting night, but the end result is that I, KingTermite, am now the Supreme Rulla of Couchology (and there's gonna be some changes).


It all started with Couch_Incident getting an injury. While riding his bike through a mêlée G-20 protesters, Couch was knocked down off his bike (again) and had to be admitted to the hospital because he bruised his banana and kiwis (as he put it).

At the same time, President Obama who was in the area for the summit wanted to meet Couch_Incident because of the great things he'd heard about Couchology. However, I intercepted Obama before he made it to the hospital and convinced him that Couch_Incident needed to be admitted under the Baker Act. Obama agreed.

So.....now with Couch_Incident safely locked away, I was able to forcefully take over the Church. I had Tude's help, of course, so she's still #2 to the Supreme Rulla (me) with a new rank of 1.027. The fate of other high ranking church officials, like Luddite, Hillary and Singing Sabre, are yet to be determined (aka it depends on how they treat me).

So all.....please calm down over the news and know that your beloved Church of Couchology is in good hands.

New Couchology rules to follow....in MY time.

So, you took over Couchology using a hidden group of extremists?

Is this known as a Sleeper Sofa? If so, can I call you Sofa King?

KT. You might want to fix your sig. :innocent:

:popcorn

I, for one, welcome our new termite overlord(s).

KT. You might want to fix your sig. :innocent:

:popcorn

Good point! :thumb:

It was such a long and sleepless night I had no time to dwell on little things like that! :)

I, for one, welcome our new termite overlord(s).

I thank you. There is always a spot in Couchology for strong supporters. I even have some positions of authority open. Would you like to be left pole dancer in my sermon pulpit? Tude will be the right pole dancer.

So, you took over Couchology using a hidden group of extremists?

Is this known as a Sleeper Sofa? If so, can I call you Sofa King?

How very astute of you to realize my tactical method. They were Sleeper Sofas, but went unnoticed as they were disguised as futons.

I'm backing you up .... from way over there.

I prefer being operator of the Most Holy Flamethrower. Am not so good with the poles.

I'm backing you up .... from way over there.

Would you like to take over softball team coaching as I'll be unable to fill that role now?


Or.....you could be a money collector during Saturday Night services.

Your choice.

There are new rules going into effect too, new Supreme Rulah. See I manages the House of Church and the House needs some new items, like some new couches ---- all the ones we have now have burn holes in them from you know who, whose name shall not be uttered aloud.

Purchase Order: 5 new couches. Bright loud colors, one couch all floral prints, none of this dark and dreary stuff.

Signed,

No. 2

I think you should have a right and a wrong pole dancer. chipcom would be perfect for the wrong pole dancer.

I prefer being operator of the Most Holy Flamethrower. Am not so good with the poles.

Sorry, there is no more "Most Holy Flamethrower". After Monty Python stole the idea from us, we had it destroyed. It's now bolted to the bottom of the pool of holy Kool-Aid (which all members drink).

And there must be built-in recliners. Make it so.

I'm still an acouchist.

OK. How about Supreme Distributor of Snacks? Everyone likes snacks.

Sorry, there is no more "Most Holy Flamethrower". After Monty Python stole the idea from us, we had it destroyed. It's now bolted to the bottom of the pool of holy Kool-Aid (which all members drink).

The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch is not too be toyed with. Just saying.

There are new rules going into effect too, new Supreme Rulah. See I manages the House of Church and the House needs some new items, like some new couches ---- all the ones we have now have burn holes in them from you know who, whose name shall not be uttered aloud.

Purchase Order: 5 new couches. Bright loud colors, one couch all floral prints, none of this dark and dreary stuff.

Signed,

No. 2Leather or Lycra?

Whatever...you have signature authority for church purchases. Get the new items as you see fit. When your done, please see me in my office. I lost my pants again and need some help. ;)

I'm still an acouchist.
Shun the Unbeliever (google "Charlie the Unicorn" video for reference).

The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch is not too be toyed with. Just saying.

Antioch grenades are for wussy boys from Europe!!


We have Texas Tornado hang grenades....they were blessed by Tanya Tucker herself.

OK. How about Supreme Distributor of Snacks? Everyone likes snacks.

OK....but in our church, snacks are edible condoms and the holy kool-aid. Just sayin'. :innocent:

coffeecake is now "snack" distributor.

Would you like to take over softball team coaching as I'll be unable to fill that role now?


Or.....you could be a money collector during Saturday Night services.

Your choice.

I need a new profession. I think embezzler would work.

I say you bake up some sheep cookies, so you can have Snackrificial Lambs.

Holy Moly!!!!!!

Just entered the private living quarters of he-whose-name-shall-not-be-uttered. It's knee-deep in pron magazines!!! Now I know why he would disappear for days at a time! And it seems he likes Kool-Aid as well! He has wallpapered his place with the empty packages of Grape and Cherry Kool-Aid - there must be a thousand of them!

Pron and Kool-Aid - who knew!!!!!!

Holy Moly!!!!!!

Just entered the private living quarters of he-whose-name-shall-not-be-uttered. It's knee-deep in pron magazines!!! Now I know why he would disappear for days at a time! And it seems he likes Kool-Aid as well! He has wallpapered his place with the empty packages of Grape and Cherry Kool-Aid - there must be a thousand of them!

Pron and Kool-Aid - who knew!!!!!!

I think the pr0n magazines are safe....but be careful of the kool-aid packages. I noticed a lot of them were sticking together.

Too much grape kool aid turns a certain bodily "by product" green. This can have an unsettling effect on some. Other find it really cool and post about it on bike forums.

So all.....please calm down over the news and know that your beloved Church of Couchology is in good hands.

New Couchology rules to follow....in MY time.

YouTube - ConAir - Whole World In His Hands (HD)

I think the pr0n magazines are safe....but be careful of the kool-aid packages. I noticed a lot of them were sticking together.

Too Late!:cry::cry::cry::cry: <grabs clorox wipes and runs>

I need a new profession. I think embezzler would work.

Hmmmm......I have an idea. You could be an embezzler and a spy all in one. Would you go and be a spy as an accountant in Scientology and embezzle their money for our church?

As a new money-making venture for the church, we are instantiating a new policy. All female members are encouraged to give lap dances to any other members who desire them. Charge whatever you will, but 50% proceeds go to the church.

Luddite....I'll know if you are trying to cheat us.

Hmmmm......I have an idea. You could be an embezzler and a spy all in one. Would you go and be a spy as an accountant in Scientology and embezzle their money for our church?

Judging by my crappy finances I would be a perfect fit. :p

Judging by my crappy finances I would be a perfect fit. :p

:thumb:

Naked volleyball Friday Night is almost here......is everybody coming tonight?

Dear Most Beloved Supreme Rulah:

Purchase Order No 2:

Enough paint for the church! Gone are these dreary blah blah off white, light gray, beige colors. I likes bright colors!!!

Bright Orange, Neon Yellow! Wear yer shades in these rooms cause you'll need them!!

Signed,

No. 2

Naked volleyball Friday Night is almost here......is everybody coming tonight?

whoa -- I didn't know this was going to happen.

But hey - I dig it! Can I practice now though!

Tude will be the right pole dancer.

It's stuff like this that could almost make on think of converting... whoah !

But hey - I dig it! Can I practice now though!Yes. Let's go practice in the secret back room in my office. Rawr!! :innocent:

It's stuff like this that could almost make on think of converting... whoah !

Wait until you here Tude's new plan for outreach. She'll be heading up the outreach committee.

Hey, condoms are cool. I am all in favour of condoms. You can never have too many of them. Unlike babies.

As a new money-making venture for the church, we are instantiating a new policy. All female members are encouraged to give lap dances to any other members who desire them. Charge whatever you will, but 50% proceeds go to the church.


Lap dances ?

This goes against the prime tenets of Bedologism... we believe that it is the men who should be giving the lap dances, administering long backrubs, and giving foot massages to the ladies.

It's stuff like this that could almost make on think of converting... whoah !

As part of the NEW COC - the Outreach Center is converting one of the massive rooms into ....

The New Churchology Topless Bar!!!

Oh what fun will be had there, The Bar over looks the nekkid Volleyball court where much fun is going on there too. Bar is well stocked, as well as the bartender <wink> and of course, there will be Kool-Aid shots every hour.

Lap dances ?

This goes against the prime tenets of Bedologism... we believe that it is the men who should be giving the lap dances, administering long backrubs, and giving foot massages to the ladies.

We are an equal opportunity religion. All genders can give services to whichever genders they desire too. All allowed to give all allowed to receive.

If you want to lapdance and massage a lady in Couchology, I'm sure you can find one who will enjoy and appreciate it. Just remember 50% proceeds go to the church.

I am all for equal opportunity pole dancing and lap dances. We must not alienate the females as they are the source of future Couchologists. Nobody likes a sausage fest....well, almost nobody.

I am all for equal opportunity pole dancing and lap dances. We must not alienate the females as they are the source of future Couchologists. Nobody likes a sausage fest....well, almost nobody.

Agreed!

BTW......the video of your last sausage fest was fantastic! You looked like you were enjoying yourself. :thumb:

Oh, I forgot to ask you KT, do you want those sausages back?

Another new tactic I'm working on folks.....I'm dealing with top government official to sanction off the land owned by the church to make us our own country similar to other well known (but false) religions!

If this makes it through congress, Couch City will be formed and we can make our own laws without worrying about the laws of any other country of government. Because here in Couchology, our mind is not for rent....to any god or government!

Oh, I forgot to ask you KT, do you want those sausages back?

Just the links (and only German ones). You can keep the patties. :innocent::rolleyes:

Just the links (and only German ones). Plus I'll accept the patty's as well. :innocent::rolleyes:

ROFL - fify

ROFL - fify

Wondered if you'd think that....

We also need an initiation ceremony. I propose making a "What's so great about Roadies" thread in RC. All aspirants to the Holy Order of the Couch must post and endure the cleansing flamage.