Foo - Housemate Wanted:

Am seeking a housemate to share a beautiful 4 bedroom house in a wonderful neighbourhood.

Rent will include the main floor master bedroom and shared use of the main floor of the house, utilities, cable internet, laundry, and unlimited long distance.

I am close to everything.

I don't mind sharing the cooking duties... I am a gourmet chef.

If you ride a bicycle this will be like heaven as I am an experienced mechanic and won't mind helping you keep your bike in prime condition and am always giving away free schwag.

If I find I can trust you I might even let you ride / borrow one of my bikes.

The successful applicant must like small dogs and children, should be able to pass a security check and lease conditions, should be neat and tidy, gainfully employed,and most importantly should be physically unattractive and perhaps even repulsive, should shun contact with members of the opposite (or same sex), and have no interest whatsoever in "shacking up" with anyone and moving out with a week's notice.

A written vow of celibacy may be required.

at first I thought you were asking for advice on a personals ad.

I thought I would be flooded with applications already...

I should add that women (and some men) may feel strangely drawn to me and want to tear off their clothes and offer themselves so that I might ravish them repeatedly but I am taken with a capital T.

If you are subject to wanton urges or have boundary issues you need not apply.

Seriously... I need to find a nun for a housemate.

Have you tried the local convent?

I will call them tomorrow.

I will want a sister who is firm in her vows and will not be tempted as a novitiate might be.

But then they would probably want to convert me.

I thought of applying, but then I realized I'd only wear skimpy clothing around you.

PM sent. :D

I'd be the perfect candidate but I'm a registered man*****, registered in all 50 states and most countries.

I tore off my clothes while reading the OP. My brother is non too thrilled.
Now I am going to need a new roommate. Thanks. :(

I thought of applying, but then I realized I'd only wear skimpy clothing around you.

So tempting... but no.

PM sent. :D

I don't think your sister wants to move to Canada and she is far from being repulsive.

I tore off my clothes while reading the OP. My brother is non too thrilled.
Now I am going to need a new roommate. Thanks. :(

See ??

This is what I have to deal with here.

I'd be the perfect candidate but I'm a registered man*****, registered in all 50 states and most countries.

But you are hideous.

j/k

I think Botto would fit most of the descriptions you specify.

I think Botto would fit most of the descriptions you specify.

Sure enough... but he is too damn sexy for anyone to handle.

Good luck to you on your post. I am searching for the same here in California. I am nothing but serious however, my "want ads" seem to attract too many that don't have their crap together. Too many flakes around.

Sure enough... but he is too damn sexy for anyone to handle.

perhaps, but most of his posts are off-putting enough to counteract any attractiveness he may or may not have so I think you are safe.

Good luck to you on your post. I am searching for the same here in California. I am nothing but serious however, my "want ads" seem to attract too many that don't have their crap together. Too many flakes around.

Wanna move to Canada ?

who would want to live on the wrong side of the rocks anyway,you get snow over there and can't ride all winter,all ten months of it.:D

I'd apply but I'd have to find some way of getting around the vow of celibacy. Not to mention, ya'll may not like the way I practice on my charango until the wee hours of the morning (not that I'm any good). Huayno (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Huay%C3%B1o) anybody?
Ernest

who would want to live on the wrong side of the rocks anyway,you get snow over there and can't ride all winter,all ten months of it.:D

Wuss.

I ride all winter.

i have terrible habits. i break wind a lot. when can i move in?

Canada is TOO cold for me, even in the summer. I will stay here in California with the flakes and circus clowns.

Are you seriously having a problem finding a platonic housemate, male of female? I've had tons of roommates of both genders and nothing ever happened. It was never discussed as an issue. It was simply understood that we were sharing living quarters in order to save money, and that any "hanky panky" would ruin that arangement. I made a few friends that way, but never got into sex or relationships.

I think Botto would fit most of the descriptions you specify.

looky here! an anklebiter with cankles. :lol:

Are you seriously having a problem finding a platonic housemate, male of female? I've had tons of roommates of both genders and nothing ever happened. It was never discussed as an issue. It was simply understood that we were sharing living quarters in order to save money, and that any "hanky panky" would ruin that arangement. I made a few friends that way, but never got into sex or relationships.

"...and most importantly should be physically unattractive and perhaps even repulsive, should shun contact with members of the opposite (or same sex), and have no interest whatsoever in "shacking up" with anyone and moving out with a week's notice.

A written vow of celibacy may be required."

I have both small children and dogs, am unattractive, a bit overweight, have a small stable of rides and know how to work on them. My tool collection is large and good quality.

I have a basic knowledge of how to navigate in a kitchen, my shot records are up to date and my police record is clean.

I attend church on a regular basis and am involved in scouting. I know how to sail but do not have a boat. I know how to fish and I do have a delicious bass, or can acquire one with relative ease.

I thought I would be flooded with applications already... Maybe if you mentioned where you lived........ somebody might be remotely interested. :innocent:

Maybe if you mentioned where you lived........ somebody might be remotely interested. :innocent:

If I tell people that I live in place that becomes a frozen hell in the winter they may decide not to apply.

Don't tell anyone m'kay ?

I didn't see any mention of a spooning clause.

looky here! an anklebiter with cankles. :lol:

I didn't realize that you have thick ankles and like to bite people. Thanks for letting us know.

I didn't realize that you have thick ankles and like to bite people. Thanks for letting us know.

try again. fail again. fail better.

try again. fail again. fail better.

Come on botto...we've seen your pictures and those aren't calves... those are steers !

:lol:

I didn't see any mention of a spooning clause.

Nor a prohibition against reach-arounds.

Still looking for a nun with no bad habits here.

"...and most importantly should be physically unattractive and perhaps even repulsive, should shun contact with members of the opposite (or same sex), and have no interest whatsoever in "shacking up" with anyone and moving out with a week's notice.

A written vow of celibacy may be required."


Oh, now I get it. :p

Heck no! I wouldn't be giving up the good stuff just for a roommate...in Canada!

try again. fail again. fail better.

incorrect.

pm sent

pm sent

Damn... you are quite the hottie.

Seriously...

Posted my ad on CL and have received a good number of interesting pictures of attractive and nubile young women which is fine if you are into that kind of thing.

And MV... No... I am not sharing.

Whats the medical system like up there?
and i prefer showers, drowning in the bath tube sucks.
and you might have to learn how to work an ativan pen.
past that i am pretty easy to live with don't own much, and can't deal with loud noises or video games.

I have my own bikes, and women seem to dig the southern accent, except of course, when I am in the south.


oh and i like to snuggle.

Whats the medical system like up there?
and i prefer showers, drowning in the bath tube sucks.
and you might have to learn how to work an ativan pen.
past that i am pretty easy to live with don't own much, and can't deal with loud noises or video games.

I have my own bikes, and women seem to dig the southern accent, except of course, when I am in the south.

oh and i like to snuggle.

Medical is free for residents.

Have worked an epi pen before.

I hate too much noise and rarely play video games.

The accent will get you the ladies.

The dogs will love cuddling with you if ou strike out.

sounds decent to me.

no drugs, dont drink.

oh, somewhere to put the sewing machine.

Good luck to you on your post. I am searching for the same here in California. I am nothing but serious however, my "want ads" seem to attract too many that don't have their crap together. Too many flakes around.

Duh!

You live in California. There are flakes around. Obviously someone has not done their math. :D