Jokes & Humor - Jesus and Satan

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View Full Version : Jesus and Satan


cujet
10-23-09, 05:20 PM
Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was
better on the computer. They had been going at it for days, and frankly
God was tired of hearing all the bickering.



Finally fed up, God said, 'THAT'S IT! I have had enough. I am going to
set up a test that will run for two hours, and from those results, I
will judge who does the better job.'



So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away.



They moused.



They faxed.



They e-mailed.



They e-mailed with attachments.



They downloaded.



They did spreadsheets!



They wrote reports..



They created labels and cards.



They created charts and graphs.



They did some genealogy reports.



They did every job known to man.



Jesus worked with heavenly efficiency and Satan was faster than hell.



Then, ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed
across the sky, thunder rolled, rain poured, and, of course, the power
went off.



Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in
the underworld.



Jesus just sighed.



Finally the electricity came back on, and each of them restarted their
computers. Satan started searching frantically, screaming:



'It's gone! It's all GONE! 'I lost everything when the power went out!'


Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from
the past two hours of work.


Satan observed this and became irate.


'Wait!' he screamed. 'That's not fair! He cheated! How come he has
all his work and I don't have any?'


God just shrugged and said,












JESUS SAVES....


gerald_g
10-23-09, 05:32 PM
Sing this song (author unfortunately unknown) to the tune of Yesterday, The Beatles:


Yesterday,
All those backups seemed a waste of pay.
Now my database has gone away.
Oh I believe in yesterday.

Suddenly,
There's not half the files there used to be,
And there's a milestone
hanging over me
The system crashed so suddenly.

I pushed something wrong
What it was I could not say.

Now all my data's gone
and I long for yesterday-ay-ay-ay.

Yesterday,
The need for back-ups seemed so far away.
I knew my data was all here to stay,
Now I believe in yesterday.

lhwj
10-30-09, 08:24 PM
Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was
better on the computer. They had been going at it for days, and frankly
God was tired of hearing all the bickering.


I read this joke about a decade ago.. but nice one ;)


Sing this song (author unfortunately unknown) to the tune of Yesterday, The Beatles:


This one is new.. nice ;)


I hate bicycles
11-03-09, 09:01 PM
I chuckled.

elcraft
11-03-09, 11:26 PM
Jesus Saves; but Moses invests.......

Bob Ross
11-07-09, 06:49 PM
jesus saves; but moses invests.......

"schmuck! Walk on the rocks!"