Foo - Have you ever broken anyone's heart?

Did you feel remorse? Ambivalent? Hostile or resentful? Justified?

no, i don't think i have...but, i do know the heartache of a broken heart. :o adn, i hope i don't have to experience that again anytime soon.

Yeah, and she's still pissed 30 years later.

Did you feel remorse? Ambivalent? Hostile or resentful? Justified?

Justified when it happened, remorseful today.

It was something that had to happen and we're both better people for it.

So one of my friend's friends REALLY liked me, and since he so clearly had nerved himself up to the hilt to ask me out for supper, I said yes, because he looked like he was going to cry if I turned him down. He then started telling everyone we were going out. I had to whip out the "just friends" line. Everything was OK after that, and he grew a spine and asked some other girls out. Haven't seen him for years, but we parted on good terms.

Uh, so maybe I didn't really break his heart. Maybe for a couple days or so. I've had a couple other guys do it to me, but it was mostly my poor judgment at fault.

Been on both ends of that a couple times each. Each way wounded me. But lovesickness is not a fatal condition, fortunately.

j

Been on both ends of that a couple times each. Each way wounded me. But lovesickness is not a fatal condition, fortunately.

j

very damn true. hurts like hell, but we do survive.

very damn true. hurts like hell, but we do survive.

Barely, as it turns out.

How do you know that you did? Did they tell you?

How do you know that you did? Did they tell you?

I don't know if your asking this of all who replied or a specific member, but I'm going to answer anyways.
I know because the girl in question tried to kill herself three times, and it made me physically ill to hear about it from her parents, I visited her in the hospital (her parents and doctor told me it would be good for her) I cried, she cried, but in the end I had to leave her there, alone and crying, it was horrible and one of the hardest things I ever had to do as I did love her, but not enough to forgive her cheating on me, I heared from her parents that the moment I left she drank a half quart of some kind of cleaning fluid she snatched out of the cleaning ladies cart, she lived, but I never saw her or had contact with her or her parents after that day.

Not that I know of. Pretty much I was always the one who got crapped on.

How do you know that you did? Did they tell you?

i've never been told that i broke a guy's heart. i know for a damn fact that mine has been broke...it hurt's like a mo'fo + 1000000000000. i told the guy i loved him as we were out on his deck holding each other, listening to Crazy Love by Van Morrison and i knew immediately i F'd up with those 3 words. it was over that night. period.

How do you know that you did? Did they tell you?

You can see it when you tell them. It's like you've just crushed them. That is assuming you're not a ****ing ******* and do it impersonally, through email or IM or something.

I remember being crushed in high school. It felt so real and serious. In retrospect, it was very superficial.

I have, and while I felt like the scum of the earth at the time, I had to put myself first in that situation. This was a few years ago, and I occasionally still feel a pang of guilt. :rolleyes:


How do you know that you did? Did they tell you?

It was rather obvious in my case. He didn't have to tell me.


You can see it when you tell them. It's like you've just crushed them. That is assuming you're not a ****ing ******* and do it impersonally, through email or IM or something.

Agreed.

good gawd. that would F'ing suck donkey balls to be ditched like that via email/IM, etc.

good gawd. that would F'ing suck donkey balls to be ditched like that via email/IM, etc.

It was over Skype for me so I guess that's something...

:( well, as hard as it would be, i'd rather do it in person....

in my (very long) experience, i know i broke someone's heart when i felt the same feeling i felt from getting my heart broken. it's like someone is tugging at my heart or like a piece of it is tearing and each tug brings tears. i've experienced it twice.

I've had mine stomped to pieces a time or two, never really done it someone else, except this kid in high school who had it bad for me, all my attempts to brush him off failed. I finally had to be mean to him to get him to quit pestering me. Poor kid.

'Dear John' letters suck, too. That's what led to my first divorce.

I'd guess my ratio of heartbreaking:being heartbroken is pretty even. It's resulted in a lot of caution, and an absolute insistence on honesty and fidelity. Trifle with me in a relationship, and I WILL send you packing... with a quickness.

Yeah, cheating is an automatic GTFO for me, too.

They break much easier if you freeze them first in liquid nitrogen.

Did you feel remorse? Ambivalent? Hostile or resentful? Justified?

I have.

And I felt all the above. And relieved, too.

Never as far as I know. I don't know of anyone who's ever felt strongly enough about me to result in a broken heart. :lol: I've had mine broken a few times, though.

No, very sure I never have as usually I was on the receiving end, of course I probably did some things when I was younger that dismayed my Mom - but other than that - No.

I have no idea. Had mine dashed a few times. I can not stand the thought of doing that to anyone else.

apparently, 2.
i also date men who are the women in the relationship so maybe they were overreacting? :rolleyes:
but seriously, though- I am certain I did break one. But I was 20, dating someone who was 25- who had little (no) direction or aspirations in life; experience-wise was stunted at about age 17 IMHO. I'm constantly pushing myself, and wasn't willing to continue dating someone that didn't know how to support that, or join me on my journey. While he was IN love with me, I simply loved him as a good person, and we were not on the same page.

We have several mutual friends, but I have not seen him in 5 years. He still mouths off about how he does NOT want to see me, and is angry at our mutual friends for being friends with me. I believe he will be at the Halloween party I'll be attending Saturday night and have considered not going, but after all this time he is being ridiculous-- and frankly, I think its more of a wounded pride sort of thing than anything else.

Odd... Over the weekend I received and email from an ex. She was bragging about how great her life was and stuff. Here's part of her email... I took out all of the stupid smiley faces she puts in everything. You would think she would outgrow that after a while. The ending is seriously not a joke...


I just thought I would let you know what I have been up to during the past couple of years. I've been married for three wonderful years! (Ha! I've been married for ten. I got her beat!) I also have a beautiful little girl (Ha! I have three kids. All of them are beautiful. Her kid looks like a troll. I will again!)

Blah, blah, blah....

I also have a job that I love. I am your nephew's school counselor.

I called my sister-in-law and sure enough, she works at his school. We're not talking about people that have never left the town they were born in. We're talking about people who were born in Ohio and moved to Virgina. It's weird how these things happen.

maybe

A few actually. I"m very close to all of them now. It took some time and yes there was remorse at first. Necessity outweighed remorse though.

I had no idea at the time, because I completely misunderstood something of great significance she told me, and took it to mean she had lost interest in me. Consequently, I started dating someone else. I found out years later that she had been rather giddily telling her friends that she was going to marry me, and that she was very much hurt.

Yes, 20 or so years ago.

I was even a little mean about it.....but I felt she deserved it at the time. She was a crazy jealous redneck biggot. She HATED my black friends and had no qualms dropping the "N" word or making very derogatory comments.

She was so jealous of a female friend of mine who used to like me (we both flirted a bit with each other) before her, that girlfriend asked me to ask her out (pretend I was cheating) so that girlfriend could get her in public and "kick her ass". Obviously, I did not comply with that request.

She started getting jealous of another female friend of ours and was almost as aggressive about that. Oh....did I mention this was the friend that INTRODUCED us? Girlfriend still didn't like her and I being friends. I guess men and women couldn't just be friends in her book.

Anyway.....I decided she not only needed to be broken up with, but broken up with 'hard'. So after not calling her for about a week and avoiding her calls, I finally answered the phone and she asks me (through tears), "So.....is it over?"

"You want the truth or a lie?"

"Th...the truth I guess."

"It was a conflict of interest between us.....I lost interest."

At least one. She seemed to be a classical romance girl and would get upset when I did/said something that messed up the knight in shining armor routine (I'm sarcastic). I'd get upset when she was upset... I broke up with her and we both cried. I still feel bad for some things I said, not because they were intentionally mean but because I was inexperienced with breakups and my own feelings. I think it was for the best though. She was the one that pushed me towards biking though :)

At least one. She seemed to be a classical romance girl and would get upset when I did/said something that messed up the knight in shining armor routine (I'm sarcastic).This scenario has got me in trouble more times than I can remember. Sarcasm is a mixed blessing/curse. My feeling is that sarcasm is my sense of humor....if you don't get it or like it....then you aren't with the right person. End of story.

This scenario has got me in trouble more times than I can remember. Sarcasm is a mixed blessing/curse. My feeling is that sarcasm is my sense of humor....if you don't get it or like it....then you aren't with the right person. End of story.
This is exactly what I learned with the girls I dated after her. They were both sarcastic as well and it brought us closer.

Three times. All sucked royally - I felt confused, scared, horrible... but afterward I felt this intense feeling of relief and freedom. It felt good to release myself from these situations. I'd been hurt by each for different reasons, but I knew that none were meant to last. I cried over them, but I was able to quickly move on.

Thank god I did though - I'm now in The Relationship. This is the one I'd been kissing all of those frogs for, and I'm a goner. If this relationship ends, I'M definitely going to be the one getting her heart broken, fo sho.

Yes - I'm ambivalent. Love hurts.

Yes, I have. I broke my 1st wife's heart leaving her for the 2nd, which, ultimately turned out to be the most horrible decision I have ever made.

I still feel ashamed and horrible about what I did, but I take full responsibility. If she's out there reading this, I'm so terribly sorry.

Me? Never. I always give my dates whatever they charge and we both leave happy.

Did you feel remorse? Ambivalent? Hostile or resentful? Justified?

Yes, I have and had it done to me. Felt all sorts of ways about it, but it's a process of life.

Yes. I meant well but hurt her anyway. I know it needed to end, but I never have forgiven myself about it either.

Unfortunately a few times- it never feels good. Fortunately I have been able to remain good friends with a few of my ex's though.

I have no idea. Had mine dashed a few times. I can not stand the thought of doing that to anyone else.

Same here. One advantage of being a total dork was that attracting members of the opposite sex was harder doing the younger years. So put me in the "none that I know of" category too.

no, very sure i never have as usually i was on the receiving end, of course i probably did some things when i was younger that dismayed my mom - but other than that - no.

+1

I don't know if your asking this of all who replied or a specific member, but I'm going to answer anyways.
I know because the girl in question tried to kill herself three times, and it made me physically ill to hear about it from her parents, I visited her in the hospital (her parents and doctor told me it would be good for her) I cried, she cried, but in the end I had to leave her there, alone and crying, it was horrible and one of the hardest things I ever had to do as I did love her, but not enough to forgive her cheating on me, I heared from her parents that the moment I left she drank a half quart of some kind of cleaning fluid she snatched out of the cleaning ladies cart, she lived, but I never saw her or had contact with her or her parents after that day.

No, not asking it of any specific member, just an open question. Everyone has had their heart broken, so I would assume, I thought it would be interesting to see if anyone has any awareness of doing it to someone else. Someone on the ultra narcissistic tip would likely be unaware they had done it, or frankly, not care. For those who have a conscience, I was wondering what it felt like.

Personally, I'm not aware of doing it to anyone else. Sure, there have been unrequited feelings, but as far as I know, I've never broken someone's heart. Hurt feelings, sure.

They are so soft and squishy I can never get them to break, no matter how hard I throw them. Sternums on the other hand, they break.

It's a juicy and satisfying noise too, similar to smashing other people's dreams.

Unfortunately a few times- it never feels good. Fortunately I have been able to remain good friends with a few of my ex's though.

Did the transition from "significant other" to friends take a while? Or was it agreed upon right upon termination?