Books, Movies, Music & Entertainment - BAD!!! Movies thread

My roommates and I like to rent the worst films we can find, then watch them MST3K style. Does anyone else do this? Relish in the glory that is a horrible, horrible film? I thought i'd post the top 5 we've seen. Usually, we stick to newer stuff you can find on DVD at blockbuster. I'd say late 90's and on.

1) The Core (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0298814/) -- this is by far the worst movie i've ever seen. absolutely horrible from beginning to end. from the infamous "hmm, its a good thing these suits can handle the pressure" line to the dude walking in like 4 billion degree heat or whatever, just absolutely god awful. wretched. Our proposed sequel -- The Core 2: Even Deeper

2) Equilibrium (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0238380/) -- i've heard this has been on HBO on demand, if not you can find it at blockbuster. Rent it immediately. Christian Bale (american psycho and next years "batman begins") stars alongside Taye Diggs (everytime he comes on screen, someone has to say aloud "Ladies and Gentlemen...Taye Diggs!!!! Taye DIggs everybody!!!) People actually love this movie, with the hilarious "gun kata. and the pistol whipping scene, where if you watch closesly, you can see no one is being remotely touched, they're just standing in one place shaking.. Equilibrium 2: now with 100% more pistol whipping

3)The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0311429/): Words can't describe how far sean connery is capable of falling. The sad part is, he almost made this movie decent.

4)Deep Blue Sea (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0149261/): My secret guilty pleasure, i actually love this movie and force the roommates to watch it since they hate it so much. LL Cool J makes every film better, especially when he does a song for the soundtrack -- "deepest, bluest, my hat is like a shark fin." Move over Paul McCartney, that kind of songwriting has no rival.

5) up for debate right now -- I say that its daredevil, they want to argue Van Helsing, which i haven't seen. Chronicles of Riddick might fall in here as well. BUT tonight we watch Absolon (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0300902/) -- Lou Diamond Phillips AND Christopher Lambert; this has to be horrible.

Contribute your suggestions

Recently "Zorro" aired on tv, I had never seen it and it was so DULL. It's an action movie and it was so slowmoving.

"Stepmom". I just thought it was the most phoney, sappy contrived, hollywood treacle.Everything just screamed of being manufactured. Another Julia Roberts treasure "My best friends wedding." She has really shown up in some lousy films.

Rented Starsky & Hutch last week. IT SUCKED LARGE!!

I remember watching the original show when I was a kid and thought it was way cool. The movie was a major bore and just plain silly. The closing credits were the funniest part of the whole movie.

Worst movie I can remember recently was Dr T and the Women. I'll watch damn near anything but I could not sit thru this mess. My wife didn't even finish it. I think we watched about 30-45 minutes of it, and turned it off. It was just AWFULLL!!!!!!!!

Manos - The Hands of Fate.
I'll leave each individual here to do his/her own research on this exercise on crapulence.

']Manos - The Hands of Fate.
I'll leave each individual here to do his/her own research on this exercise on crapulence.

no fair using one MST3K already did... but still hilarious

Literally, it means Hands, the Hands of Fate

"In Conclusion....Manos. the Hands of fate...."

had to surface this one...and YOU know why if you've seen this crappy piece of crap

Battlefield Earth - oh god save me.

Ishtar. I couldn't believe it was as bad as they said, so I tried to watch it. It was.

My Big Fat Greek Wedding. It was so stupid and full of stereotypes that I can't believe the greeks didn't boycott.

Any Halloween movie past number 3. Actually, I think 3 sucked monkey balls too, but I'm trying to be kind.

Any Nightmare on Elms Street movie past the first. The others were terrible.

Any Friday the 13th movies past the first one. It was terrible.

Piranha. It was just so bad.

Showgirls. So bad it was good. Good and bad, that is! :D

Mommie Dearest. "NO MORE WIRE HANGERS!" Need I say more?

Flowers in the Attic. Loved the book, hated the movie.

Oh gosh, that's about it for now, but I will of course, think of more later.

Koffee

What me and my buds usually do is get a bunch of the crappiest, most ******** videos ever...play htem on the TV on mute...and we add the words. Keep in mind ******** levels of alcohol is also involved and imbibed on a strong and steady pace.

spiceworld --It was so bad we had some of them leaving till it was done...I think the comment about one of them getting pregnant by a wild pig kinda set him off for some reason....

Joe Dirt -- funny movie, but just about as funny when 8 drunkards basically re-write the script.

The day of the triffids -- oldskool horror B movie, we gave it a good butchering...at one point we were singing songs about saving the forests....you have to watch the movie to understand.

any of the child's play series -- I can't even strat with how bad that one got...we had a marathon, first to last, once we sobered up, we were rather disturbed when we figured out what comment came from who...it was just wrong...on at least a few dozen levels....I might have secured my real estate on the river styx that night.

Then we did the good movies:

Braveheart ... a beautiful tale, turned into something about as wrong as gary coleman vs mike tyson.

mission impossible -- trust me, you just dont want to know....really i dont wnat to remeber either.

lord of the rings -- Given we all loved the LoTR series, but we just could not help poke fun at elijah wood and his buddy for looking like they were about to get it on with each other in about every other scene...so we had to put it on mute. This one was rather messed up as well....two words....smeegle, galadriel. Amazingly, I wasn't the one to come up with that one....


All in all, when the movie loses its sound, disturbing thoughts are soon to be abound.

I highly recommend "The Story of Riki-Oh" for those who aren't in the know.

By far the single worst film I have ever seen was a spoof of Rocky called Ricky. The sort of thing you think must be so bad it's funny. But no, it's miles past that. It's bad enough that every copy of it on the face of the earth should be rounded up, burned, the ashes should then be mixed with gasoline and burned again, the second generation ashes mixed with concrete and poured into a mold in the shape of the words "RICKY SUCKS", and the concrete subsequently dropped into the ocean over the Marianas Trench.

Oh yeah, and then they should drop a bomb on it.

what about the Abyss-layer critters that might be able to nibble a bit on the "RICKY SUCKS" project before the bomb hits? Will there be a team of submersible über-bots assembled to proactively hunt down and kill these animals? You really need to think ahead more when developing your sinister plans. Here's one idea (edit - I was extremely bored. This just might make a good movie though...):

Rented "Evil Alien Conquorers" last week. It stars that guy who plays Oswald on the Drew Carry Show. My god, what an awful movie. It looked like it was put together by a 12 year old who will never become the next Spielberg.

If you can find it, "Amazon Women from the Avacado Jungle of Death" is a flick I think is just what your group is looking for.

Starsky and Hutch wasn't great but it wasn't THAT bad!

I can always suffer through Showgirls and Mommie Dearest. I can even take about half of Flowers in the Attic. But Starsky and Hutch? I couldn't stay awake for it when I was on the plane coming home from Europe, and now that it's hit cable, I can't even watch more than a couple of minutes. I really tried.... but it's just terrible!

I thought the second Charlie's Angels was pretty bad too. That's a movie I can't stand to suffer through either, and I've tried to sit through that movie like 3 times now. I give up.

Koffee

Try out 'pootie tang' from about 3 years ago. My god that movie was terrible.

Pootie Tang was pretty bad. I agree. Booty Call was much better and funnier.

Koffee

pootie tang was one of those movies that required the intake of a certain amount of mind altering substances to even watch....I'd rather not try to watch that movie again.

Oh, and undercover brother sucked....it got annoying very quickly....worst part was I watched it at teh theater....i wish i could have said I had too much beer at teh outback next door...but I didn't....i guess even being in the same building as that movie made my IQ temporarily drop by 60 points, thus allowing me to screw up badly enough to pay $10 to watch a movie like that.

Saw it hated it, The Village was a movie I regret paying $7.50 for, what I thought would be a great horror and scare movie turned into nothing more than a drama/love sorta story, sure it had its 'thrills' and a few scares but nothing that threw me out of my seat.

Starship Troopers
Tremors and ALL the sequels on Sci Fi channel
ALL of the "Corey's" (Feldman and Haim) movies except Goonies, Lost Boys, and Stand By Me
Jury Duty (Pauly had played himself out by this point)
I'll think of more later.

I'm surprised Dude! Where's My Car? didn't make it into this discussion so far. At anyrate, as much as I tried to avoid it, Blair Witch 2 appeared on one of my DirecTV movie channels and I caught myself watching... like how people can't take their eyes off a train wreck in progress. You know that movie was so bad that Mr. Cranky had to invent a whole new class of bomb (nuclear blast) to rate it (http://www.mrcranky.com/movies/blairwitch2.html). Luckily (depends on how one looks at it) he was able to reuse that classification for other movies like I Am Sam and Kangaroo Jack.

Tremors, Oh man don't get me started on that lol, they keep coming out with more sequals and prequels to Tremors and each time they are worse and worse, they made the bad move on the SciFi channel of making a series of the Tremors, that was just a bust.

There was this movie back in the 70's or 80's called "Star Crash". A ripoff of "Star Wars". Truly terrible. Bad writing, bad acting, and bad special effects.

There was this movie back in the 70's or 80's called "Star Crash". A ripoff of "Star Wars". Truly terrible. Bad writing, bad acting, and bad special effects.

Yes... truly bad Italian sci-fi movie. Didn't it have Christopher Plummer and David Hasselhoff in it? Can you believe they actually made a sequel? That movie ranks right up (or down, depending on how you look at it) there with an equally horrible Battle Beyond the Stars which had Robert Vaughn, George Peppard and Sybil Danning.

ARMAGEDDON. That was the first movie that almost made me walk out of the theater. It was the worst attempt at portraying "a group of misfits does something extraordinary, even if they've been losers their whole life" that I have ever seen. If it wasn't for Steve Buscemi, I would have walked out.

DIRTY DANCING. I really hate the "rich society clashes with poor society" movies, but this takes the cake. Couple it with the fact that it is a chick flick and it sucks extra.

SIGNS. To me, it seems like M. Night tried to make the point that everything happens for a reason. Now I know it is just fiction, but in this movie, a woman dies, the son has a severe case of asthma, the daughter has got some freaky phobia of dirty water, and the brother can't seem to get on his feet. But the reason their lives suck is so that they can, by coincidence, find out that water hurts aliens. Good one M. Night.

TURK 182. This movie features everything that was wrong with the 80s.

ALL of the "Corey's" (Feldman and Haim) movies except Goonies, Lost Boys, and Stand By Me


Agree with the good Corey movies but Fast Getaway was a classic.

But heres another one. My roommate loves to spend his money on stupid DVDs, so the other day he got Charlies Angels 2... the first 10 minutes of the movie was just a reminde on how action packed, skin seeking, fire loving people we are. Besides Carman Diaz being in it ( :love: ) it sucked big ones.

I couldn't get through Sylvester Stallone's movie "Over the Top" about a truck driver who tries to win the love of his estranged, pre-adolescent, pre-pubescent, spoiled, surly young son by competing in the world championship of arm wrestling in Las Vegas. Terrible. :-/

Koffee

GI Jane and Waterworld

Hey! I liked GI Jane! I thought Demi looked great!

Giiiiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrl Power!

:D

Koffee

I couldn't get through Sylvester Stallone's movie "Over the Top" about a truck driver who tries to win the love of his estranged, pre-adolescent, pre-pubescent, spoiled, surly young son by competing in the world championship of arm wrestling in Las Vegas. Terrible. :-/

Koffee

That movie was horrible. I agree.

Wasn't the soundtrack by Bryan Adams too?

Demi looks great I must admit. Just didn't like the movie. I think there are other roles that she can play that would show off her body in a more realistic way. She has more talent than she gives herself credit for.

Demi looks great I must admit. Just didn't like the movie. I think there are other roles that she can play that would show off her body in a more realistic way.


Oh, you mean like Demi's academy award winning movie "Striptease"? ;)

Also a bad movie too! If someone told me to pick which one I'd want to watch more, I'd definitely go for GI Jane!

Koffee

I think the only movie I ever walked out of the theatre on was In the Army Now starring Pauly Shore. And this was in a last run $1.00 movie theatre!

Oh, you mean like Demi's academy award winning movie "Striptease"? ;)

Also a bad movie too! If someone told me to pick which one I'd want to watch more, I'd definitely go for GI Jane!

Koffee

Nope! Never saw Striptease. GI Jane was enough for me.

No comments on Waterworld. Total waste of money in producing this film.

I think there are a lot of talented Actors out there and some of the roles that they choose to play are beyond me. Must be desperate for the money .... :p I did go see Manchurian Candidate and I highly recommend it. I know that it was remake of the first one but this one can hold its own.

Thomas the Tank engine and The Magic Railway.

Even my six year old son was raising a quizzical eyebrow at this one. How on Earth did they rope Alec Baldwin into getting involved with this train wreck?

Just saw a Night at the Roxbury; real disappointed in Chris Kattan and Will Ferrell. It's the kind of movie where you almost feel embarassed for the actors for appearring in such a suck-ass movie.

Just saw a Night at the Roxbury; real disappointed in Chris Kattan and Will Ferrell. It's the kind of movie where you almost feel embarassed for the actors for appearring in such a suck-ass movie.

And you didn't see this coming? Had you not watched the SNL skits? Most SNL skits lose their entertainment value after about 5 minutes. The idea of dragging it out to 90 min should have been discarded as soon as the person conceiving it walked out of the restroom stall.

That is too true. I saw Stuart Smiley Saves the World (or whatever the name of that movie was with Al Franken). Terrible. I just can't see how they could have thought a movie like that would work. So was that movie with that chick who played the catholic school girl nerd. Terrible. What was the terrifying one..... oh, I can't remember, but there was another one they did with the SNL and it was so bad, I think I've blocked it from my memory. Seriously.

It would have been funny to see a whole movie with Baba Wa Wa, though. Gilda Radner was hysterical, God bless her!

Koffee

And you didn't see this coming? Had you not watched the SNL skits? Most SNL skits lose their entertainment value after about 5 minutes. The idea of dragging it out to 90 min should have been discarded as soon as the person conceiving it walked out of the restroom stall.

Any SNL-based movie sucks. Notable exception: The Blues Brothers.

Anybody see Krull? Terrible.

Anybody see Krull? Terrible.

Yipes! You had to remind me. That was on one of the movie channels last night. And to make it worse, my TiVo unit decided that I somehow liked that movie and recorded it for me! It could not have been more wrong.

Bad Tivo, BAD! BAD BAD TIVO!

;)

There must be something you're in denial about. Isn't Tivo supposed to track what you watch and make the recommendations? It was only following the lead of its master.... :D

Give it up, dood. We're onto you.


Koffee

Bad Tivo, BAD! BAD BAD TIVO!

;)

There must be something you're in denial about. Isn't Tivo supposed to track what you watch and make the recommendations? It was only following the lead of its master.... :D

Give it up, dood. We're onto you.

I think it's the direct result of me having it record old Doctor Who episodes. I also watched Saturn 3 (now there's another bad movie) the other night... that definately would have done it. What really confuses me though is that it's recording a lot of stuff off the Spanish stations too. I'm not sure how that happened.

Hah! If you feel bad that TiVo recorded it for you, imagine how I feel about having spent my hard-earned lawnmowing cash to see it in the theater! We do a lot of stupid things as teenagers, don't we?

ok im very surprised no one here has mentioned torque or bikerboys, bikerboys was just a huge ripoff of the fast and the furious, more ricers but this time there on bikes, and torque was absolutely terrible, anyone else see that/them movie(s)?

That is too true. I saw Stuart Smiley Saves the World (or whatever the name of that movie was with Al Franken). Terrible. I just can't see how they could have thought a movie like that would work. So was that movie with that chick who played the catholic school girl nerd. Terrible. What was the terrifying one..... oh, I can't remember, but there was another one they did with the SNL and it was so bad, I think I've blocked it from my memory. Seriously.

It would have been funny to see a whole movie with Baba Wa Wa, though. Gilda Radner was hysterical, God bless her!

Koffee

Wasn't there a movie about the androgynous "Pat"?

Also there was "Night at the Roxbury" right?

Wasn't there a movie about the androgynous "Pat"?

Also there was "Night at the Roxbury" right?

My wild prediction is that a movie entitled Weekend Update will eventually show up.

Not unless they do a Brian Fellows movie first. "That's crazy!"

Try out 'pootie tang' from about 3 years ago. My god that movie was terrible.
It was bad, but David Cross was pretty hilarious in it.

But besides that, all of these movies are awful. My friends and I prefer our MST3K-ing to be centered on stupid animal horror movies, particularly the reptile kind. Let's see, there's Anaconda, Lake Placid, Raptor (possibly my favorite), Python, Komodo (this one was too bad to even laugh at), Mosquito... There are so many more whose titles I just can't remember. But you know you're in good shape when the movie was made with no-name actors for only a few thousand dollars.

I saw "The Grinch Who Stole Christmas" with Jim Carey. It was so bad I almost cried, but my nephews just LOVED it, and it was the only thing I could use to keep them quiet. They would watch it all the way to the end, then insist on watching it from the beginning. It was terrible. <NOTE TO SELF-DR. SUESS DOES NOT TRANSLATE WELL INTO A FULL LENGTH MOVIE> Strange, because they are pretty intelligent little kids, but I guess we all have our weaknesses! :D

Koffee