Foo - Things I have learned

1. Kids have energy.

2. Becoming an instant stepparent is insanely hard.

3. You can get used to feeling overwhelmed all the time.

4. Twins are way more than twice as challenging as one child.

5. Unless you have twins you don't know how challenging it is.

6. Unless you have become the instaparent of twins you don't know how challenging it is.

7. Becoming the instaparent for twins is the most exacerbating, frustrating, overwhelming, maddening, difficult, uncertain challenge I have ever undertaken.

8. I love a good challenge.

Still scared of them, eh? Har.

Still scared of them, eh? Har.
When mom is gone and one of the decides he needs a snack, I don't know how to respond. Does she normally give them one now? Should I tell him to wait? If I give him one now, will he ruin his appetite? If I don't give him one, will he be mad at me? If I tell him to wait until mom gets home, do I look weak, like I can't make a decision? 3 weeks isn't enough time for me to learn all these things. Mom has had 6 years and so have the kids. As a book I'm currently reading said, it's like showing up to a marathon an hour late and trying to play catch-up.

Healthy snacks are never a bad ides IMO. I swear my 14 yo eats about every two hours

All you have to do is ask them what they usually do...trust them to tell you the truth. If you feel that they want to sneak an extra snack, tell them you want to respect their mom and wait until she says when they can have it.

It sets an example.

Offer them something healthy. If they are truly hungry they'll eat it. If they were looking for treats, they'll suddenly become unhungry.

Offer them something healthy. If they are truly hungry they'll eat it. If they were looking for treats, they'll suddenly become unhungry.
They only eat healthy snacks so even if they're unhungry, they'll still eat it. They routinely ask for apples and veggies. :eek:

They only eat healthy snacks so even if they're unhungry, they'll still eat it. They routinely ask for apples and veggies. :eek:

what are you raising? rabbits?

what are you raising? rabbits?
The girl eats spinach leaves like they're going out of style. Carrots, cucumbers, raisins and even whole mushrooms have been devoured.

The girl eats spinach leaves like they're going out of style. Carrots, cucumbers, raisins and even whole mushrooms have been devoured.

yep...rabbits.

They only eat healthy snacks so even if they're unhungry, they'll still eat it. They routinely ask for apples and veggies. :eek:

Well, you know you're doing something right!

Tough gig, and good on you for taking it on. Our twins are 5, going on 6 in March. Gotta be firm, fair, and consistent. If you can't be all of those, at least try to be consistent. And don't let them play the parents off each other. Mrs. Caloso and I have agreed that you have to present a united front. Unless there's an immediate danger to life and limb, never undercut the other parent's decisions on snacks, bedtime, discipline. Take it up later in private, but never in front of the kids.

Good luck!

When mom is gone and one of the decides he needs a snack, I don't know how to respond. Does she normally give them one now? Should I tell him to wait? If I give him one now, will he ruin his appetite? If I don't give him one, will he be mad at me? If I tell him to wait until mom gets home, do I look weak, like I can't make a decision? 3 weeks isn't enough time for me to learn all these things. Mom has had 6 years and so have the kids. As a book I'm currently reading said, it's like showing up to a marathon an hour late and trying to play catch-up.1) kids respect (and need) authority, so don't be afraid to make a decision!
2) watch you some supernanny! abc.go.com

What's a kid?

What's a kid?

Someone you give a lighter too.

Couch

Healthy snacks are never a bad ides IMO. I swear my 14 yo eats about every two hours

Have yuo been to a doctor about this. Loss of appitite in a teen is case for concern.

Kids need snacks! Kids (well, adults, too) aren't supposed to just eat three huge meals a day. Should be three smaller meals and snacks in between.

Although I don't have twins, all of your original points apply to having just one kid, too. And having a kid from birth still has that "instant-parent" feel to it. I am also living all your points exactly as you wrote them, and I am not even a step-parent and I don't even have twins.

Welcome to your new world. I still feel continuously overwhelmed and it's been 16 months for me...!

Have yuo been to a doctor about this. Loss of appitite in a teen is case for concern.
Haha, it took me a moment to get this. This is good.

What's a kid?

baby goat?

baby goat?

that's best known as future BBQ.

Have yuo been to a doctor about this. Loss of appitite in a teen is case for concern.

haha, I hear ya

Well welcome to the club of parenting. You've definitely jumped into the deep end with both feet. If you come across something you don't know how to respond ... remember and ask mom when you get the chance. Worst case scenario is you do it wrong once. Kid says they're hungry, feed 'em. Most important is to be consistent with Mom. It's a challenge but man O man is it ever rewarding. Most important thing I've ever done in my life, being a Dad.

try dealing with someone who is 42 non-verbal and has the mentality of a kid.
every so often thats my friday or saturday night.

dealing with or being? *snikkier*

I'm being facetious, that sounds like a handful

He's really doing a great job. I have had a 6 year head-start on this gig. After 3 weeks, he has found his authoritative voice. :D

And, yes, my kids eat like rabbits. We're big on healthy snacks and healthy food. Tonight's do-it-yourself salmon & spinach salads were a big hit all around.

ETA: and we added in brownies after dinner just to round things out. :p

Damn, twins? That's rough.

I jumped into parenting with my wife. Before we got married, I had to watch her 3 kids when she was at work. A few things I learned:

-If you get on the floor, you will become a playground.
-If you get weary of being a playground, do not throw a child from your back onto a bed/sofa. They will insist on going on that ride again.
-If you lose track of the youngest one while dealing the other, and discover the kid in the bathroom brushing their teeth, make sure that it was with toothpaste and not Vagisil.
-Since having two more of my own, I now understand how kids can be so energetic. They suck the life force out of the parents.

Twinkies... :)

Looks like mom has come to save the day and I really admire the fact that many men would have run away screaming at the sight of those bookends despite how wonderful and attractive their mom is... but UA is a better man thatn that.

I think many women would have the same reaction to the thought of dating / seeing a man who had younger children.

Mine are not twins but my youngest has the energy of two kids... The Girl adores them and they adore her and she has such an amazing technique for dealing with them...

She talks to them... like they are real people... and they respect that.

And if a six year old wants a healthy snack I would not deny them that unless it was going to spoil their dinner or they had an eating disorder.

I used to say I would not date a guy with kid(s) as the majority of men will not date women with kids (so I hear, anyway.) Plus I will probably never have children of my own...

anyway, totally changed my tune on that "rule." :)

... never have children of my own...

anyway, totally changed my tune on that "rule." :)

Is there something you're not telling us? :innocent:

Luddite's PREGNANT!! Dang DJ your boys can swim!!:beer::ride:

UA, two words for you: DUCT TAPE. That will seriously slow them down.

UA, two words for you: DUCT TAPE. That will seriously slow them down.
Authorities may frown on that. However, velcro wall jumping should have the same desired effect. That will slow them down. You get to figure out how to shut them up. I'd suggest ball gags, but the authorities might frown on that as well.

Yup, kids have energy; that brings up the theory I developed with the first go-round (adopted 1st wife's two daughters) -- everyone has the same amount of energy on any given day. But kids are so much smaller, more limber, that they use up less of it to accomplish their devilment! Once puberty hits, the energy goes wacko, focusing on the obscurity of sex (which EVERY generation thinks, stupidly, that IT INVENTED), and begins to fade from the no-longer-limber frames. Thus it stands as they 'grow up', which few in society actually do until they realize that their lives are more than half-over, and they have less to show for it than they expected at 20.

3. You can get used to feeling overwhelmed all the time.

You think this is bad? What about when they only slept about an hour or two at a stretch? Overwhelmed? Pheh.

UA, two words for you: DUCT TAPE. That will seriously slow them down.


Authorities may frown on that.

On the other hand..... "Silence is Golden, but Duct Tape is Silver." :D

You think this is bad? What about when they only slept about an hour or two at a stretch? Overwhelmed? Pheh.
UA was smart. He joined the party late. Missed all of the midnight, 2 a.m., 4 a.m., ... feedings. And he totally ditched diaper duty.

Is there something you're not telling us? :innocent:

You idiota, I meant I changed my mind about dating men who have children, ie: DJ has a son. Get yer brain outta the gutter, or something.

siu blue wind's pregnant!!! dang Dan your boys can swim!!:beer::ride:
fify

:P

We are going to have a bouncing baby bike in March or April.

I was an "instaparent" once a long long time ago...just relax. Mom should be the disciplinarian and you are kind of like a full time babysitter. I made my wife an instaparent and she is doing fine....yeah I know too many kids. There is an adjustment period in every relationship. If all else fails give them sugar and lock em in the basement;)

We are going to have a bouncing baby bike in March or April.

Holy ****...that's gonna hurt.

I won't put the pedals on until after the delivery.

I won't put the pedals on until after the delivery.

What about the kickstand? :eek:

I had it genetically modified to remove the kickstand gene.

I had it genetically modified to remove the kickstand gene.

lol can you modify it's genes to make it grow up to be a Cervelo, too? :D

That extensive of a modification can result in a huffy.

Rut roh!

Well, you know you're doing something right!

Tough gig, and good on you for taking it on. Our twins are 5, going on 6 in March. Gotta be firm, fair, and consistent. If you can't be all of those, at least try to be consistent. And don't let them play the parents off each other. Mrs. Caloso and I have agreed that you have to present a united front. Unless there's an immediate danger to life and limb, never undercut the other parent's decisions on snacks, bedtime, discipline. Take it up later in private, but never in front of the kids.

Good luck!


Excellent advice for any parent. Seriously (unlike what follows).

And remember - up to two kids, play man-to-man; three or more, go to zone.


As for the duct-tape-and-tennis-balls method of controlling kids, remember - duct tape comes off with lighter fluid.

Foo<> serious
Foo<>on topic

Last night I made sure they cleaned up their messes before helping us cook dinner. They love peeling veggies and we're starting them on knife duty but I was the one that cracked down on the mess before dinner. It felt good to take charge and not have to rely on mom. I want to have fun with them but I also want them to realize that I'm the adult and they need to follow my rules even when mom isn't around.

As for the snack thing, I really like Siu's suggestion of asking them. It's just really difficult for me to gauge what they're capable of doing and what they aren't but putting that sort of stuff onto them seems to be the right answer.