Foo - Buy "credit card" with cash? I have slush fund dollars and want to buy online - HELP

I don't know whether to post this inquiry in the 41 under swag-aholics but I figure it is better in FOO.

Like most cyclists, I like to buy bike stuff...and my spouse watches the credit card statements like a hawk.

I put aside 20-40 dollars a week for "off the record" SWAG - but the best deals are not at the LBS where I can pay cash, but online (like probikekit.com) and to buy from them I need a credit card.

Can I just go to a bank or some financial services place, lay down $300 and "buy" a credit or debit card? I don't want to give them my phone number or address since this may come back to bite me if my wife finds out.

I don't want to get into any cloak-and-dagger situations or raise the suspicion of DHS (dept of homeland security) but I am hoping there is a quick and easy way to turn my cash into a credit or debit card that I can use to buy bike stuff online.

Any thoughts or suggestions?

Doug

Hiding things from your SO isn't very healthy.
That being said you could get a prepaid card, po box, and use your cell phone.

Thanks I should just get a prepaid card.

I would love to tell my spouse but she just doesn't "get" cycling.

Hiding things is not good, but... Hiding things is plain sight is just fine. Our joint bank accounts are with BOA. She has a checking account with TDBank, I have one with Chase. Both accounts have Debit cards issued. Both accounts have our individual cell phones as numbers. Each account has our individual work address as the record, and both accounts are wireless, meaining that everything is done on line.

We both know about the other's account, and don't concern ourselves with it. Its worked for 28 years just fine.

I'm not generally for hiding things from one's spouse. That said, just give the $300 to a friend and have them order it on their card. I've did that on Ebay several years ago when I had friends who wanted to buy something but did not want to set up an Ebay account. Alternatively, tell the wife you're buying it, and then hand her the cash from your cash supply to put in to the credit card payment. If she has a problem with you spending your $$ however you want, that's a separate issue.

Get a buddy to buy it online. Then pay him cash for it. Tell your wife you bought it used and saved money.

Dear Mister Datlas,
Allow me to introduction myself. I am the president of a big international corporation, Metzinger INTL. We are hearing about your situation and feel compelled to help. I have instructed my finance department to apply for a credit card on your behalf. You may send me the cash by mail so that we may create a positive balance on the card. Then use the card number however you want. Products will be shipped to us, then forwarded to you. For this we will charge a small fee.
Did I mention that I am also royalty?

Looking forward to your first letter.



But on a serious note... $20-40 per week? That's a spankload of swag!

Won't you need a p.o. box, to keep her from seeing the U.P.S. guy? So, you could open a checking account, with the p.o. box as the address. Then, you'd have a safe place to store the cash, too.

A different way out, maybe: Could you commute to work, and convince her that you have 'earned' the money saved on gas, and the right, then, to spend it on bike stuff? There would be no 'net' cash flow out, and you would not have to sneak around. It would be harsh if she could not go for that.

p.s. I don't think $30 a week is too much. I could easily spend that and still want more.

I don't know whether to post this inquiry in the 41 under swag-aholics but I figure it is better in FOO.

Like most cyclists, I like to buy bike stuff...and my spouse watches the credit card statements like a hawk.

I put aside 20-40 dollars a week for "off the record" SWAG - but the best deals are not at the LBS where I can pay cash, but online (like probikekit.com) and to buy from them I need a credit card.

Can I just go to a bank or some financial services place, lay down $300 and "buy" a credit or debit card? I don't want to give them my phone number or address since this may come back to bite me if my wife finds out.

I don't want to get into any cloak-and-dagger situations or raise the suspicion of DHS (dept of homeland security) but I am hoping there is a quick and easy way to turn my cash into a credit or debit card that I can use to buy bike stuff online.

Any thoughts or suggestions?

Doug

Um, if you pay the bills, don't have debts, have enough food etc, shouldn't you be allowed to spend a little $ here and there on your hobby?

I have tons of debts and still buy stuff.

Dear Mister Datlas,
Allow me to introduction myself. I am the president of a big...

More like an advertisement... :p

I have tons of debts and still buy stuff.

My point is, why doesn't he get some discretionary spending? I'm assuming dude works for a living (maybe his spouse does, too) While I applaud his spouses's efforts to keep their debts minimal (debt sucks) I don't think it's fair OP isn't allowed to spend $ on himself, once household costs are taken care of.

I have some debt, so I try to put a stranglehold on my spending, sometimes too much of a stranglehold.

Oh what a tangled web we weave...

If you use Occam's Razor to cut away all the ridiculousness here, you're left with a simple strategy: Tell your wife that you've been saving up for some bike stuff you want or need.
+1, you're both adults.

If you use Occam's Razor to cut away all the ridiculousness here, you're left with a simple strategy: Tell your wife that you've been saving up for some bike stuff you want or need.

Is that better than a Gillette Mach III turbo? I still sometimes nick my head when shaving it.:p

Thanks for the tips, kids.

And no thanks to the ?nigerian scam offer.

My wife and I do have a good marriage, but she is VERY thrifty and watches expenses like a hawk. And that is good. But if I want a new set of pedals (considering Keo 2 max, BTW, anyone try them??) she will give me a lot of grief about spending the money on them. Every relationship, I am sure, has its little idiosyncrasies and this is ours.

I have a bike swag fund. It's a savings account in my name but it's linked to the joint checking account. If I buy stuff online (and that includes race fees), I'll just transfer the sum over to the jt. account as necessary. The family CFO pays the cc bills out of the jt. account and everyone's happy.

Thanks for the tips, kids.

And no thanks to the ?nigerian scam offer.

My wife and I do have a good marriage, .

Incorrect. If either of you is hiding money spending, that is not indicative of a healthy relationship. You should both have equal say in how the money you make is spent. Money is a HUGE issue in relationships/marriages.

Incorrect. If either of you is hiding money spending, that is not indicative of a healthy relationship. You should both have equal say in how the money you make is spent. Money is a HUGE issue in relationships/marriages.

And you should take relationship advice from someone who is not currently in a live in relationship!

And you should take relationship advice from someone who is not currently in a live in relationship!

I was previously married for 5 years, not to mention the fact I was in a live-in relationship last year for several months. Thanks for assuming I don't know what I'm talking about, Mr. Knows All.

I was previously married for 5 years, not to mention the fact I was in a live-in relationship last year for several months. Thanks for assuming I don't know what I'm talking about, Mr. Knows All.

My point was that every relationship is different, and there is no SHOULD that applies to everybody.

My point was that every relationship is different, and there is no SHOULD that applies to everybody.

Incorrect. There are common issues in nearly every relationship. Money is one of the biggest factors in divorce/breaking up etc. Not having consensus on how the money is going to be spent, having one partner being a penny pincher and the other not can cause huge problems.

How many live-in relationships have you been in? Or long term relationships? Why should we believe what you say?

I have a friend, and he and his wife basically each pay themselves an "allowance" in their budget. They can spend it, save it, give it away as they please. Perhaps the two of you should discuss a similar arrangement. Then there will be no need to have a "slush" fund, etc. and no guilt on either part. Perhaps your wife is doing the exact same thing to fund her hobby or recreational activity.

My wife knows what I spend on biking, and it is cheap compared to some of my friends hobbies. I know what she spends on the wine she likes to drink. Or I could easily find out if I was concerned about how much she spent on wine is a more apt description.

That said, I have in the past had a buddy buy biking gear for me and I paid him cash. Did not really hide it from the wife, as she never asked about it. All she has to do is ask.

Incorrect. There are common issues in nearly every relationship. Money is one of the biggest factors in divorce/breaking up etc. Not having consensus on how the money is going to be spent, having one partner being a penny pincher and the other not can cause huge problems.

How many live-in relationships have you been in? Or long term relationships? Why should we believe what you say?

Married to my ONE AND ONLY live in. My wife and I have been married for 15 years, and together for 17. We do things our way, and others do things their way. My marraige is different from someone elses.

Married to my ONE AND ONLY live in. My wife and I have been married for 15 years, and together for 17. We do things our way, and others do things their way. My marraige is different from someone elses.

But since you are male, you are wrong. So am I. Just saying.

Married to my ONE AND ONLY live in. My wife and I have been married for 15 years, and together for 17. We do things our way, and others do things their way. My marraige is different from someone elses.

Are you claiming to have no consensus on how money is spent whatsoever?

Thanks for the tips but I don't really want or need marriage counseling.

Certainly all relationships have their issues, but as long as one partner is not hurting or abusing the other, I generally refrain from saying its unhealthy. Do I wish we could be more open and on the same page financially? Of course. And I am working on it.

In the meantime if I am putting away 20 bucks/week on the sly for bike swag, I don't think that's such a sin.

$20 is chump change. I think it's a giant red flag you can't have $20 a week to spend as you wish a week, especially if you *earned* that $20. Somethin' don't smell right.

I will never allow my relationship to be like that, with hidden spending/lying/shenanigans. There has to be a budget, with discretionary spending included that both parties must make an effort to follow (including me!!!) and accountability. It's supposed to be a partnership, not a roommate situation.

Thanks for the tips but I don't really want or need marriage counseling.

Certainly all relationships have their issues, but as long as one partner is not hurting or abusing the other, I generally refrain from saying its unhealthy. Do I wish we could be more open and on the same page financially? Of course. And I am working on it.

In the meantime if I am putting away 20 bucks/week on the sly for bike swag, I don't think that's such a sin.

Hiding things is not healthy. You can still have a healthy relationship with unhealthy actions in it.
One action does not define a relationship but it can help push it in a negative direction.
My 2 cents.
Personally, I would spend the $20 and tell her to deal with it.

Are you claiming to have no consensus on how money is spent whatsoever?

We share an account and both are responsible. We do not discuss every purchase. As long as there is money in the account, we are OK. We discuss big purchases (ie when I bought a CF road bike) but if <$100, no big whoop. I also hide money once a year to buy her christmas/b-day gifts. Usually she gets mad cause I spent too much if she finds out.


But since you are male, you are wrong. So am I. Just saying.

EXACTLY! :bang:

We share an account and both are responsible. We do not discuss every purchase. As long as there is money in the account, we are OK. We discuss big purchases (ie when I bought a CF road bike) but if <$100, no big whoop. I also hide money once a year to buy her christmas/b-day gifts. Usually she gets mad cause I spent too much if she finds out.





EXACTLY! :bang:
Seems like you guys have $/spending figured out, which is good. Many marriages ultimately fail because of money.

And obviously you have learned that you are always wrong, because you are male lol. Have you learned to say "Yes, dear"?

^^
I have some relatives (happily married longer than I've been alive) who never merged their finances. They both have jobs, neither knows what the other makes. They split the bill when they got their condo. One always pays utilities, and DOES NOT complain when lights are left on/the power bill is too high. The other covers groceries/dinner out together, etc. They know that those two things are not equal, but don't know by how much, and don't care because neither of them is going broke. They neither know, nor care about the others finances. Their relationship is about having someone to curl up with at night, care for them when sick, grow old together etc. You'll note that none of those things (ie what relationships are "really about") requires sharing finances. Until my grandfather died (after 50+ years of happy marriage) my grandmother never knew what the income was, even though she paid the bills from his account #. This never bothered her, and she's doing just fine in her retirement at ~90 years old. Just because YOU have an ideal financial opinion for YOUR relationships DOES NOT mean that everybody else, (who fortunately isn't identical) is wrong.

I personally plan to merge finances when I marry, but that doesn't mean that everybody else has to.

Edit: Uttering "Yes Dear", or an equivalent is grounds for tickling and a temporary ban on ice cream consumption in our apartment, and has been for several years.

^^^
Thanks for saying what I wanted to, but with better articulation.:thumb:

I concur with those who say that hiding is not healthy, especially for a relationship. If you are not willing to tell her, perhaps you should just have a friend order and receive the goods for you. I do it all of the time for my friends and they have for me.

Hiding money is easy enough. Hiding the stuff you buy is much harder -- I can't imagine how you're not going to get busted. Since it is obviously OK for you to have the $20, I'm unclear as to why you can't use it for bike stuff if you're willing to forgo other things? If you didn't ride, you'd be doing something else which would cost something.

People can come around. My wife is very frugal. It wasn't that long ago that she considered $175 a lot for a bike and she ordered the cheap stuff on the menu. Now, she is totally cool with me buying a bike for a couple grand, ordering what I want and she doesn't flinch when I more than double the bill with my bar tab. The whole point of money is to allow you to enjoy life. You need a financially sound plan, but if you already have that, you should be able to spend for your hobby. A biking allowance seems appropriate, and you should be willing to trade something for that if the money is an issue.


How many live-in relationships have you been in? Or long term relationships? Why should we believe what you say?
Couldn't help but smile when I saw this. The reasons people have for high or low numbers may or may not be good...

I like jsharr's suggestion of budgetting spending money with the only requirement being that you can spend it on what ever you like.

That is one of the few things my ex and I did correctly.
No one had a say in the others spending cash. It went to our personal accounts or wallets and that was that.