Singlespeed & Fixed Gear - Call To Arms: Fight For What You Believe

To arms Gentlemen, to arms. To all Chicago Fixed Gear Guerrillas I suggest terror and the time is now. On August 29 the Chicago Triathlon takes place. This means all the Tri Fa**ots will be on the Lakefront down on their drop bars taking themselves too seriously getting in their last bit of training wanting to “peak” just in time. Gentlemen, it is your job, nay, it is your duty to attack and demoralize and to do it now. Here are a few of the things you can do when you’re on the Lakefront and encounter a Tri Fa%%ot

Smoke and Bike: Yea, that’s right, fire up a square (Pall Mall if you’ve got ‘em) and roll the pack in your sleeve, nice and visible. Pass Blaine and slow so he’s in your tail wind and puff like mad. Do not let him pass.

Sit on that Wheel. Like a pest, just stay there. Don’t worry, they race against the clock and aren’t looking for you to take a pull. Sooner or later he’ll notice you’re back there and try to drop you. Stay on there wheel and listen to his anger sizzle.

Can of Pabst. Get a can of Pabst and put it in your bottle cage. Shout like a Punk “On your left, B!tch” and take a swig just as you pass. Do not let him pass.

If it gets Tricky: Remember, he can’t turn, can’t handle his bike, has never ridden in a pack. If you can’t pass him, be patient, sooner or later Little Margie from Ohio will cross the path. You’ll see it and make the slight countermove, Tri-Fa@@ot won’t because he’s in his aero bars, he’ll make a sudden and massive avoidance maneuver which will throw him off his rhythm. Charge here. Go as hard as you can for as long as you can. Don’t look back. Take swig from your Pabst.

Be A Geek. Get right next to him, which will unnerve the crap out of him, and start a long conversation that’s equal parts Milhouse and Grampa. What kind of bike is that? Where did you get it? Did your Mom help you pay for it? Do you like burritos? Shampoo smells nice. On and on, mile after mile Stay within six inches of him.

Sing Out Loud: but nothing cool. Try the Bee Gees. I’ll get you started: “and we’ve got nothing to be guilty of. Our love. Will move any mountain”. Or “Tragedy, when the feeling’s gone and you can’t go on it’s Tragedy.”

The list is endless, use your creatively to do what you like. Your job is to go out there and break his spirit, destroy him. You are the Judge, the Jury and the Executioner, and it’s time to pass judgment. And what is his crime you ask? He’s guilty of worshiping multiple Gods. Guilty of praising many Gods when we know there is only One True and Righteous Lord: The Bicycle. And it will not be diluted or tainted with Swimming or Running. Our Lord: The Bicycle is Precious and True: You are his Soldiers. Now fight.

Be A Geek. Get right next to him, which will unnerve the crap out of him, and start a long conversation that’s equal parts Milhouse and Grampa. What kind of bike is that? Where did you get it? Did your Mom help you pay for it? Do you like burritos? Shampoo smells nice. On and on, mile after mile Stay within six inches of him.



Haha - hilarious.

As for Bee Gees tunes, I'm personally singing, "You win again" - with these haunting lyrics:

There's no fight you can't fight
This battle of love with me
You win again
So little time
We do nothing but compete
There's no life on earth
No other could see me through
You win again
Some never try
But if anybody can, we can
And I'll be, I'll be
Following you

Following that rear wheel alright.

You think you know a guy and then he turns out to be a terrorist. Wow.
I'd love to get some of this on tape..

cool. picking on the last minority that actually moves in their spare time. I am blinded
by your shiny armour, ueberbeeing.
oh yeah, and dont forget your little finger spreading ballet.

what is wrong with you? why do you hate triatheletes?

what's a "Tri Fa**ots"?

what's a "Tri Fa**ots"?

Hey Mayo, ever heard of homophobia? I mean who posted this, Eminem?

I think it's a tri farrot, you know those weasley rodents?

Some people have no sense of humour, irony or..

a general clue.

And some people take @#$# way to seriously and way to far.

For all others, there's reality.

and some people dont have a talent for comedy :)

as long as you're on a bike and having fun; what you're training (or not training) for doesn't matter to me.

Some people have no sense of humour, irony or..

a general clue.

And some people take @#$# way to seriously and way to far.

For all others, there's reality.

And some people are bigots. What a wonderful world we live in!

and some people dont have a talent for comedy :)

Funny you say that.

Apparently over 150 forum members thought he had comedy and writing talent. They bought his book.

Just a thought, but perhaps some people just have a grudge against life in general and look for something to whine about.

I think the term is curmudgeon.

Just a thought, but perhaps some people just have a grudge against life in general and look for something to whine about.


you mean like tri-fa***ts ?

And some people are bigots. What a wonderful world we live in!


Let me be REAL CLEAR with this question, and please, before you go on a tirade, just answer it clear as well. And this goes for anyone here:

Do you think I am a bigot?

many of the fixey's seem to be crumudgens... or whatever karstens said... is that view held only by me?

"Apparently over 150 forum members thought he had comedy and writing talent"

actually, I think at least 100 of those people simply spend way too much time obsessing about 'fixies'

I think the term is curmudgeon.

thanks for the name for my next bike! now i just need to learn to pronounce it.

Let me be REAL CLEAR with this question, and please, before you go on a tirade, just answer it clear as well. And this goes for anyone here:

Do you think I am a bigot?

How should I know if you're a bigot?

I don't think that Mayo's post is f**king funny. Airplane, now that's f**king funny!

I think Mayo's post is funny as h3ll.

Now time for music

if you want to destroy my sweater pull this thread as I walk away

How should I know if you're a bigot?

I don't think that Mayo's post is f**king funny. Airplane, now that's f**king funny!


You said in response to me:



And some people are bigots. What a wonderful world we live in!

So, am I one of "some people" or is someone else or did you just pull that out of your @$$ as an off handed comment. I'd like to know.

i so knew this would happen after finishing the first paragraph. the reaction's funnier than the initial post, though in a much more cynical way. :rolleyes:

thanks for the name for my next bike! now i just need to learn to pronounce it.

I'm not sure I can either. Everytime I say it, it's like a food laden burp..

I think I'll find something else to do that day.

Maybe it would've been funny without the "Fa**ot", "Fa%%ot", and "Fa@@ot". Maybe, but maybe not.

if you want to destroy my sweater pull this thread as I walk away
weezer rocks way harder than this thread

You said in response to me:




So, am I one of "some people" or is someone else or did you just pull that out of your @$$ as an off handed comment. I'd like to know.

I was referring to the original post about "tri fa***ts" which I do think is bigoted, not to your post defending it. Although maybe it's funny to be intolerant. HaHAHAHAHA

if you want to destroy my sweater pull this thread as I walk away

Oh, and Weezer sucks.

Maybe I really am a curmudgeon.

What NO ONE has realized is funny, is that AdBot is advertising Tri stuff right now.

Oh the irony. OH the IRONY.... LOL...

:D

That is funny.

glad I am a paid in full forumeer!

I think I'll find something else to do that day.
me too

"Apparently over 150 forum members thought he had comedy and writing talent"

actually, I think at least 100 of those people simply spend way too much time obsessing about 'fixies'

You know I read some of your past post there Stev O..

And I'm generally not impressed with your
"I'vebeenridingfixedwithoutalockringfor10yearsandwasdoingitbeforeithadanameandsuchsoI'mcoolerthanyou"
line of BS you spill out. You demeanor and wit only slightly edges out bean dip for it's sharp edge. Post after post you do the same thing.

But you waste no opertunity in pointing out the minor faults or shortcomings of others.

You're nor more or less special than any one else of us here, even in your own mind.

Get over yourself.

You know I read some of your past post there Stev O..

And I'm generally not impressed with your
"I'vebeenridingfixedwithoutalockringfor10yearsandwasdoingitbeforeithadanameandsuchsoI'mcoolerthanyou"
line of BS you spill out. You demeanor and wit only slightly edges out bean dip for it's sharp edge. Post after post you do the same thing.

But you waste no opertunity in pointing out the minor faults or shortcomings of others.

You're nor more or less special than any one else of us here, even in your own mind.

Get over yourself.

Well said, though I know nothing of stev o. But he will forever be equated with bean dip as a result of WK.

as long as you're on a bike and having fun; what you're training (or not training) for doesn't matter to me.

Thanks for the hug.

Thanks for the hug.
anytime bro.

on a serious note; why do trialthetes get picked on so much? even if it's all in jest. when i think of a triathlete nothing particularly funny comes to mind, but then again i don't really know any in person. Seems like an okay, albeit serious, group of people to me.

I was over on their forum and they are planning to cruise up to some of the "headbanger, urban grunge, baggie pants, one cog, chain-smokers" and really try to f*** with their little minds. If they catch any close to the water they said something about a Chicago Baptism. Whatever that is... :rolleyes:

I am all for terrorism, but not for homophobia. Yeah, bigotry is way not cool, dude.
As we saw from your "jewish b!tch" story that spawned a brouhaha on these forums, many people
will not idly tolerate such bu..sh..




To arms Gentlemen, to arms. To all Chicago Fixed Gear Guerrillas I suggest terror and the time is now. On August 29 the Chicago Triathlon takes place. This means all the Tri Fa**ots will be on the Lakefront down on their drop bars taking themselves too seriously getting in their last bit of training wanting to “peak” just in time. Gentlemen, it is your job, nay, it is your duty to attack and demoralize and to do it now. Here are a few of the things you can do when you’re on the Lakefront and encounter a Tri Fa%%ot

Smoke and Bike: Yea, that’s right, fire up a square (Pall Mall if you’ve got ‘em) and roll the pack in your sleeve, nice and visible. Pass Blaine and slow so he’s in your tail wind and puff like mad. Do not let him pass.

Sit on that Wheel. Like a pest, just stay there. Don’t worry, they race against the clock and aren’t looking for you to take a pull. Sooner or later he’ll notice you’re back there and try to drop you. Stay on there wheel and listen to his anger sizzle.

Can of Pabst. Get a can of Pabst and put it in your bottle cage. Shout like a Punk “On your left, B!tch” and take a swig just as you pass. Do not let him pass.

If it gets Tricky: Remember, he can’t turn, can’t handle his bike, has never ridden in a pack. If you can’t pass him, be patient, sooner or later Little Margie from Ohio will cross the path. You’ll see it and make the slight countermove, Tri-Fa@@ot won’t because he’s in his aero bars, he’ll make a sudden and massive avoidance maneuver which will throw him off his rhythm. Charge here. Go as hard as you can for as long as you can. Don’t look back. Take swig from your Pabst.

Be A Geek. Get right next to him, which will unnerve the crap out of him, and start a long conversation that’s equal parts Milhouse and Grampa. What kind of bike is that? Where did you get it? Did your Mom help you pay for it? Do you like burritos? Shampoo smells nice. On and on, mile after mile Stay within six inches of him.

Sing Out Loud: but nothing cool. Try the Bee Gees. I’ll get you started: “and we’ve got nothing to be guilty of. Our love. Will move any mountain”. Or “Tragedy, when the feeling’s gone and you can’t go on it’s Tragedy.”

The list is endless, use your creatively to do what you like. Your job is to go out there and break his spirit, destroy him. You are the Judge, the Jury and the Executioner, and it’s time to pass judgment. And what is his crime you ask? He’s guilty of worshiping multiple Gods. Guilty of praising many Gods when we know there is only One True and Righteous Lord: The Bicycle. And it will not be diluted or tainted with Swimming or Running. Our Lord: The Bicycle is Precious and True: You are his Soldiers. Now fight.

And some people are bigots? No, all people are bigots. Every single person in the world. Biased in favor of one thing over the other. Now what is messed up today is that some people are afraid to have any opinions, they are bland, vanilla, the diet coke of Evil.

Indifference is the only real crime today and it's prosaic. There aint no good guy, there aint no bad guy, there's only you and me and we just disagree.

And If mayonaise has a certain attraction to men wearing tight spandex how dare you notice?

As we saw from your "jewish b!tch" story that spawned a brouhaha on these forums, many people
will not idly tolerate such bu..sh..

Are you calling W. a bigot?

After reading this thread I'm left with the same feeling you get when you step in big dogcrap and your trying to scrape it off on the curb and you're just left wishing you had a ******* to help scrape it off your shoe.

fag·ot also fag·got ( P ) Pronunciation Key (fgt)
n.
A bundle of twigs, sticks, or branches bound together.
A bundle of pieces of iron or steel to be welded or hammered into bars.


That being said I'm not getting into this conversation. I thought about it but then decided it wasn't worth it. Words in themselves are not offensive, rather it is the meaning we give them.

No, I'm calling mayo a bigot. Homophobe, loser, bigot, whatever.


Are you calling W. a bigot?

After reading this thread I'm left with the same feeling you get when you step in big dogcrap and your trying to scrape it off on the curb and you're just left wishing you had a ******* to help scrape it off your shoe.

fag·ot also fag·got ( P ) Pronunciation Key (fgt)
n.
A bundle of twigs, sticks, or branches bound together.
A bundle of pieces of iron or steel to be welded or hammered into bars.


That being said I'm not getting into this conversation. I thought about it but then decided it wasn't worth it. Words in themselves are not offensive, rather it is the meaning we give them.

Why don't ya'll go to the RNC instead and have some real fun?


To arms Gentlemen, to arms. To all Chicago Fixed Gear Guerrillas I suggest terror and the time is now. On August 29 the Chicago Triathlon takes place.

No, I'm calling mayo a bigot. Homophobe, loser, bigot, whatever.

Chris Rock (and 99% of all black comedians) are racist as f*uck and still hilarious. If Mayo was a homosexual, I'm sure no one would have a prob with him using the F word (as it is). Just like its acceptable for the brothas to drop the N word.

Oh, and you're ********, the RNC is in NYC.

165 -- is that a unertil scope? Fanciness.

What, chicagoans can't get out of their own stinkin town?

No, _you're_ differently able in the brains dept, dude, I know where the f-ing RNC is.



Chris Rock (and 99% of all black comedians) are racist as f*uck and still hilarious. If Mayo was a homosexual, I'm sure no one would have a prob with him using the F word (as it is). Just like its acceptable for the brothas to drop the N word.

Oh, and you're ********, the RNC is in NYC.

165 -- is that a unertil scope? Fanciness.

Hey s2sxiii, you don't have to read Foucault to understand that you are talking about completely different relationships of power. There's a reason why Chris Rock can drop the N word and not be a racist. Whereas if Strom Thurman drops it he is a racist. And you look kind of like a racist with this post, dude.

Blah, blah, blah, blah........
I may not have went and used that particular word to describe the many colored spandex crowd but then again Mayo thinks and types for himself. And what he thinks is not for us to decide for him.
So anyways, I really liked the Pabst in the cage idea. You could one up that with a big ol' Fosters oil can or maybe slam a giant 40 and smash the bottle on the pavement in front of them. But then again you would probably be damned with flats every single time you went out for a ride for such an action.

Hey s2sxiii, you don't have to read Foucault to understand that you are talking about completely different relationships of power. There's a reason why Chris Rock can drop the N word and not be a racist. Whereas if Strom Thurman drops it he is a racist. And you look kind of like a racist with this post, dude.

ooohh a little finger pointy. Yeah, that's gonna stop me. Did you make a point in this post? It sure doesn't make any sense.

Blue Comedy relies on foul language and socially riske (need an accent there) themes to be funny. Perhaps Mayo was just being blue. Which, admittedly, could be considered not PC. So don't read it, ignore it like you would some guy shouting it on the street, and move on.

I didn't say chris rock could drop the N word -- I said he was racist. Says Blue things about white people in his act -- see bigger and blacker (calls someone a cracka ass cracka, for a MILD example -- Hell go back to eddie murphy and his "kill the white people" skits back when he was still funny. that's not black on black commentary, that's black on white, which is just as racist as white on black my friend.

The second point i made was that certain words that my make for a social faux paus when said by someone outside a given "group" are often acceptable by members of that group. Not knowing what mayo is, we can't say for certain whether he's bigoted or not. It may offend you, but as always, no one cares about that. :cry: :cry: :cry:

lala-- yeah, they'll head to NYC on their fixies. Hell, they can meet you and I in Youngstown, we'll all ride together. We leave now we'll be there in plenty of time.

Rock on Mayo.

You think you know a guy and then he turns out to be a terrorist. Wow.
I'd love to get some of this on tape..

I'm bringing my new digital video camera. It could be like bloopers.

Isn't it just sparky how ugly we can all get towards eachother?

We share common goals, problems, ideals and hobbies.

With that, we still get bent up and up in arms with eachother.

From there it devolves into really ugly ****e.