Singlespeed & Fixed Gear - Whats the oddest thing you have carried?

This just came to mind today as I was helping my GF get her new classroom all set up for her first year of teaching. (Finally a job, whew)

Anyway, she had bought a rather large rug somewhere that she thought would be great for the classroom - the kids would get a kick out of the colors.

Aside from commuting everyday on my fix, I recently built up a cheapo bike that I leave at her place as this allows me to more easily persuade her into going on a bike ride with me whenever the chance presents itself. Having already volunteered to help with the classroom, I thought maybe I could turn this task into a bike ride opportunity :D .

Needless to say I ended up carrying the rug on my back. I am not a messenger, so I haven't carried anything very weird, but this was interesting indeed. The thing stuck out about a foot and a half to two feet on each side of me, gathering more than one weird look from people, as well as a couple of car mirrors getting clocked.

So what is the largest/oddest/mostuncomfortable/neatest thing you have carried by bike? And I am not meaning with a trailer, although, if it is interesting then post by all means.

-Pete

triple rush ****ing bagel from a deli to ad agency midwinter. I was thinking 'I'm gonna die and they find the bloody bagel in my bag - I died for a bagel"

Other: 2m long cardboard tubes, giant heart shaped balloon to a new mom in a hospital, green plants

12 cans of Guiness on the handlebars..

A pair of aluminum crutches which I fetched for a friend from the hospital.

A vacuum cleaner (those weird little flat self-vacuuming ones) which tucked nicely into my Chrome (messengering days).

A guinea pig (had to take him to the vet a few blocks away).

Pete, I can't believe you rode with that rug horizontally on your back. Did you smack cars along the way? I find it annoying to even ride with my yoga mat horizontally strapped to my bag because my peripheral clearance instincts are thrown off. But then again, I'm riding in narrow Chicago traffic.

Heaviest : Case of beer and a 175 of Jameson w/ all my tools
Biggest : Guitar in hardshell case. Really easy to carry, though, just put it on the top tube then over the handlebars.
Oddest : Me.

..my dacshund a couple of times.. he loved it.. stuck his head out from under the side of the flap and he could look ahead of us :) he's getting a little fat for this now..dont know if my shoulder can take it ;)

an entire bike strapped to my Pac bag. I took off the wheels and strapped the whole thing under the flap. I was without car at the time, and needed to get something fixed on the bike. It was actually very easy to do. The Pac is wondeful with all the extra straps and d-rings. I think I could carry just about anything with it.

So what is the largest/oddest/mostuncomfortable/neatest thing you have carried by bike?
-Pete

I think I qualify as the oddest thing carried on my bike.

Though not considered strange here, My neighbors thought that I was loopy for carrying about 75lbs of groceries on my bike (with panniers and a backpack) through a snowstorm.

Dan

well there were the times I would have to pick up packages with foreskin in them. These we would deliver to a lab that would treat burn victims. Or there were the umbilical cords we would deliver for another lab, the 2 manaquins from the park plaza to the mall. I had to deliver a Cuirious George costume once. I took it upon myself to get dressed in it and ride down Boylston st.

Bowling pin

12 cans of Guiness on the handlebars..

Since guiness tastes like ass this gets my vote!

Among the weirdest things (really just everyday items, but kinda awkward on a bike): watermelon, art portfolio, roll of paper (3'x6"x6"), bowling ball bag (w/10 lb ball & shoes), a chair

13 inch TV (not recommended)
two 25 lbs dumbells (also not recommended).

I always travell with a long bow and a quiver of arrows

One Gallon of liquid latex.

well there were the times I would have to pick up packages with foreskin in them. These we would deliver to a lab that would treat burn victims. Or there were the umbilical cords we would deliver for another lab, the 2 manaquins from the park plaza to the mall. I had to deliver a Cuirious George costume once. I took it upon myself to get dressed in it and ride down Boylston st.

I think we have a winner!

I also had a friend who had to deliver breast implants. The story was that the doctor had forgoten them and the patient was on the table waiting. Or what about the hair peices we would have to get and drop off for cleaning. Ahhh the stories are endless.

This infact has been covered in the past. There was a great photo of a guy with a deer straped to his back I believe. That to me was most impressive.

100lb + cast iron sink and pedestal, in a basket tho. also 2 full sheets of 3/4 birch plywood... what a b*tch

some ball bearings, a Fetzer valve, 3 in 1 oil, some gauze pads, and ten quarts of anti-freeze...Prestone....or was it Quaker State?

A package with a dog's urine, stool, and blood sample. Complete with the biohazard label!
Another strange one was a stuffed mackaw (the big red tropical, parrot looking birds). I strapped it to the outside of my bag so it looked like it was sitting on my shoulder, pirate style!

Nothing near as cool as foreskin tho.

It was definitely an awkward sensation - not at all uncomfortable or unmanageable, but it did require some additional spatial awareness.

My girlfriend lives right near downtown here in Portland and the school is about 130 blocks out in a more casual residential environment. So, getting out of the hectic traffic was sketchy. People were giving me a huge berth and making awful faces. I did hit a few mirrors of cars parked on the side of the road, but nothing moving.

The decision was made to find a much less populated by-way and go by that route. Much improved.


By the way, some definitely interesting stuff out there folks.

I don't know about that. A pirate on the shoulder gives you some serious style. Where as with the foreskins nobody knows what ya got. Oh and s2sxiii, it sounds like you are making some kind of cologne.

A bike wheel. I winded up hitting some guys side view mirror, he screamed at me, and I took off down a side street. I also carried a rug around once, but it was much smaller.

• mountain bike frame I was bringing to a LBS across from where I worked downtown. They were gonna switch parts from my current and dying ride to the newer one. I wasn't very mechanical at the time. I strapped it to my messenger bag and rode in from the burbs to downtown which is a good hour's ride.

• a coat and hat rack that I found in the trash on the way home.

• big boxes that were ackward to carry and too big to fit in my bag. Had to carry them by resting them on my bars and top tube/arms. Didn't know why they didn't send a car for the pick up.

Oh and s2sxiii, it sounds like you are making some kind of cologne.

just a movie ref...the weirdest thing i've actually carried was a couple dead, freshly caught fish. Caught at a local park, i didn't want to fillet them in front of the kiddies, nor did i want to put them in my messenger bag unprotected. so i hung them from the end of my rod case, which was 3/4 of the way in my bag. Result was two bass hanging from a stringer out in front of me, like i was riding after them.

Rod case? What the hell is that?

a cylindrical tube that the rods collaps and are placed inside to protect them. The thickness of a big poster tube, maybe about 4 feet long. with the fish on the end, and the case coming over my shoulder, it looked like a dog chasing a bunny at the track or something.

My very first run as a messenger was a headstone, later I wouldn't have taken it but at the time I didn't want to look like a *****. Since then I've carried monkey brains, hiv + blood samples, live fish, postage meters, drugs, food, giant bags of clothing/shoes, all manner and sizes of portfolios, makeup for Liv Tyler, bags of cash for bank deposits, and all sorts of other messenger related crap... Glad I don't do that **** anymore.

drugs -perscription- and such are always interesting runs.
that rug looked like a rel big architectural roll

ive carried a fully built up dirtjumper bmx on my bag...accidentally wheelied with all the weight in back

computer tower was big...ive delivered laptops...dunno, must been other stuff i forget

The future of all of mankind.

Save us, dude!

33 hatchets, one broken hatchet, and a baby

fool!
no one carries broken hatchets anymore

i didn't do this, but i was riding to work one day and saw this guy riding in the opposite direction with a HUGE and i mean HUGE dining room table stapped to his back along with two chairs. the thing must've been at least 5 or 6 feet long and then the two chairs on top of that. it probably wasn't THAT heavy, but the awkwardness of it all, damn. i was in awe to say the least. plus he was on this pos department store mountain bike which probably weighed 50 pounds. i was humbled by that sight and i've never moaned about carrying heavy stuff since.

two end tables, used old inner tubes to strap them to the bike. I think I'm lucky I didn't snap the frame.

drugs -perscription- and such are always interesting runs.
that rug looked like a rel big architectural roll

ive carried a fully built up dirtjumper bmx on my bag...accidentally wheelied with all the weight in back

computer tower was big...ive delivered laptops...dunno, must been other stuff i forget


Yeah, the more I think about it the more I remember how much I hated carrying prescription drugs. They were generally for very old people, many of whom were in nursing homes. Depressing doesn't even begin to describe an inner city nursing home, especially one that's run by the city/state.

A French horn (in a case). Which I dropped. And it rolled down the hill. A long ways down the hill.

I learned two things from that:
1. Never off-road with a French horn.
2. Junior high kids should not be trusted with expensive instruments.

I've also carried, in conjunction with a friend, a full sized christmas tree. We each grabbed a branch on either side, found a balance point, picked it up, and rode one handed side by side down the street with the tree hanging between us.

another bicycle.. i rolled it beside me.. it wasn't fun.

Not the oddest, but certainly the toughest thing I ever carried was SLAYER!

My very first run as a messenger was a headstone, later I wouldn't have taken it but at the time I didn't want to look like a *****. Since then I've carried monkey brains, hiv + blood samples, live fish, postage meters, drugs, food, giant bags of clothing/shoes, all manner and sizes of portfolios, makeup for Liv Tyler, bags of cash for bank deposits, and all sorts of other messenger related crap... Glad I don't do that **** anymore.

yeah, but dontcha love it when you get just IMPOSSIBLE item :D

Client: "Don't know if you can take this... I asked for a car"
Me: "Nah... I can take it, really!"

Mashed potatoes double-ziploc-ed in my bag, a tiny air compressor straped to my rear rack, with a giant plastic Big Boy straped (around his neck of all places) to my handlebars. My boyfriend just carried a bowling bag and ball in his rear basket.

You guys that have carried a portfolio before have the kind with straps to go on your back? Where can I find one of those?

a computer monitor and a 4-foot long skateboard

my friend carried blood samples, another, kitty litter. ive also had a fur headband last winter, and the stupid bîtch had a wrong adress for where shed lost it! the company had moved a year ago (?!?!)

not carring anything, another aquaintancer got run over by a cart of "army of one" flyers at the burnett

Merton,

You shoulda carried it on your back like my friend does (http://oldskooltrack.com/files/jacob-no-hands.frame.html).

I tried this setup once - it works like a champ - just have to watch out for the chainring going into the back tire.

about 60 6-oz. containers of soy yogurt. the co-op was practically giving them away, and i love me some probiotics.

on the final run of moving across town i carried a window fan, a lamp shade, and a toolbox strapped to my full bag while wearing a spare set of 26" tires around my neck. it kind of looked like i was trying to power myself along with the fan on my back...if only that could actually work.

Good Lord. Thats a lot of yoghurt, in fact, just about enough to fill five pitchers worth. Mmmm, live and active cultures.

You guys that have carried a portfolio before have the kind with straps to go on your back? Where can I find one of those?

I think I've seen ones with straps at art supply stores, not sure how pricey they would be. I just wedged mine between my back & my backpack. It really sucked when biking against strong wind.

foldable tv dinner table, can of paint, and a plunger.