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Dave Moulton
08-22-04, 06:01 PM
I used to work at a fire hydrant factory, but you couldn’t park anywhere near the place.

Stacey
08-22-04, 06:03 PM
My mother wanted me to be a seamstress, but I couldn't mend straight.

Moonshot
08-22-04, 06:42 PM
I used to be a fortune teller but I got fired. It's okay, I saw it coming.

Chris L
08-22-04, 10:11 PM
I was going to be a male prostitute at one stage, but I screwed up.

capsicum
08-23-04, 12:35 AM
I was going to be an explosives expert, but I blew it.

Raiyn
08-23-04, 01:14 AM
I used to work on a cannery, but I got canned.

AdrianB
08-23-04, 01:21 AM
Geez, you guys/girls haven't you got anything better to do? :)

. . .

I always wanted to be a plumber, but I was cr*p.

Raiyn
08-23-04, 01:30 AM
I once cleaned toilet's but lost the job because I wouldn't do crap.

AdrianB
08-23-04, 01:34 AM
I once was a garbageman but it was such a waste.

a2psyklnut
08-23-04, 12:53 PM
I was training to be an electrician but the work zapped the life out of me.

Dave Moulton
08-23-04, 03:24 PM
I trained to be an electrician, but ended up Ohm-less and didn't know Watt to do.

AdrianB
08-23-04, 06:02 PM
I trained to be an electrician, but ended up Ohm-less and didn't know Watt to do.

That was a good one Dave! :D

Stacey
08-23-04, 06:23 PM
I wanted to prospect for gold... it didn't pan out

Stacey
08-23-04, 06:24 PM
I tried washing windows, but couldn't take getting high on the job.

capsicum
08-24-04, 04:27 AM
I worked at a laundry, but now I'm all washed up.

hooligan
08-24-04, 06:55 AM
I used to be an idiot but I was too dumb to be dumb.


Hey, it says BEST and WORST jokes here. I'm not a good joker. But people laugh at me anyways.

Stacey
08-24-04, 07:35 AM
Do they point too? :)

Chris L
08-24-04, 07:38 AM
I tried washing windows, but it was such a pane.

Stacey
08-24-04, 07:54 AM
I used to work at a brewery. The forman was a BARREL chested, STOUT fellow, but rubbed me against the GRAIN. He called me a LAGERhead and got HOPing mad and fired me when I charged him VAT on his weekly purchaces. I tried to file for unemployment but didn't have a CASE because of the WORT on my toe. Well, I did ALE I could do.

Stacey
08-24-04, 07:56 AM
I did circumsicions for a while too. The pay sucked, but the tips were great!

hooligan
08-24-04, 09:25 AM
They point.

Dave Moulton
08-24-04, 09:54 AM
They point.

Translate "They point." please.


I worked in a deli; backed into the meat slicer, and got a little behind in my work.

Stacey
08-24-04, 10:07 AM
Groan... almost as bad as, " I worked as an optician until I fell in the lens grinder and made a spectacle of myself/"

"They poin.t" in reply to Post #17

townandcountry
08-24-04, 10:13 AM
I used to work in Chicago, in a record store. A lady came in the door and said she wanted some music. I asked her what kind she wanted. Be-bob she wanted, be-bobbed she got. I'll never work there any more.

Dave Moulton
08-24-04, 10:26 AM
I used to work in Chicago, in a record store.

I worked in a record store back in the 1950s. A lady came in looking for a Big Band number called ‘One Meat Ball.’ The conversation went something like this:
“Young man, do you have One Meat Ball on a ten inch?”
“No, but I have two meat balls on an eight inch.”
“Is that a record?’
“No, but it’s not bad for a fifteen year old.”

foehn
08-24-04, 10:47 AM
I wanted to be a porn star, but I couldn't see the fur-fest for the knees.

foehn
08-24-04, 10:48 AM
Mary had a little lamb and everyone was shocked.

foehn
08-24-04, 11:03 AM
I wanted to have a baby, but I didn't want to belabor the point.

RegularGuy
08-24-04, 11:30 AM
Translate "They point." please.


French: Ils se dirigent.

German: Sie zeigen.

Italian: Indicano.

Spanish: Señalan.

Dutch: Zij richten.

Greek: Δείχνουν.

Japanese: 彼らは指す。

Portugese: Apontam.

Russian: Они указывают.

Chinese: 他們指向。

Dave Moulton
08-24-04, 11:36 AM
French: Ils se dirigent.

German: Sie zeigen.

Italian: Indicano.

Spanish: Señalan.

Dutch: Zij richten.

Greek: Δείχνουν.

Japanese: 彼らは指す。

Portugese: Apontam.

Russian: Они указывают.

Chinese: 他們指向。


Now c'mon Regular Guy; nobody likes a smart ass! :D

timmhaan
08-24-04, 11:50 AM
Translate "They point." please.


if you read post 16,17, and 21 you'll figure it out.

Stacey
08-24-04, 12:15 PM
Now c'mon Regular Guy; nobody likes a smart ass! :D


Yeah, but everyone likes a little :D

Stacey
08-24-04, 12:24 PM
I worked as a photographer for a spell... until I ran afoul with the law. I was charged with indecent exposure. I was framed, I tell you! Someone ran in to meter but filter up instead and they were off in a flash. You need to know the backround befote you shutter out. Thankfuly, nothing ever developed from this, save for the Detectives incident with Iris and the enlarger.

Dave Moulton
08-24-04, 12:32 PM
if you read post 16,17, and 21 you'll figure it out.

Yes I figured it out; I thought at first it was some new ‘street’ language I should know about. Now thanks to Regular Guy I have it in ten different languages which is way more information than I need.

Can we get back on the thread now?

RegularGuy
08-24-04, 01:52 PM
Now c'mon Regular Guy; nobody likes a smart ass! :D

:roflmao:

Kestrelman
08-24-04, 02:23 PM
When I was studying to be an optometrist I fell in to the grinder and made a spectacle of myself.

Dave Moulton
08-24-04, 02:41 PM
When I was studying to be an optometrist I fell in to the grinder and made a spectacle of myself.

Actually you’re the second one today to make a spectacle of themselves.

Personally I like to go into a Craft Store and ask the ladies, “Where can I get felt?”

Kestrelman
08-24-04, 02:52 PM
Oh - didn't realize that. But, I find it interesting when talking w/ a woman on the phone at work and they ask for my extension. :o

Jeepbikerun
08-24-04, 03:00 PM
Bill Gate's wife just left him..........She doesn't "do" windows!

MsVicki
08-24-04, 03:28 PM
Now c'mon Regular Guy; nobody likes a smart ass! :D

Actually, I LOVE smartasses!

:roflmao:

jrt1990
08-24-04, 03:39 PM
ya how much time did it take u to do all that regular guy?

RegularGuy
08-24-04, 03:48 PM
ya how much time did it take u to do all that regular guy?

Eh, just a few minutes. Babelfish rocks and DSL rolls.

jrt1990
08-24-04, 03:52 PM
o babelfish.com? never been there before, ill check it out

foehn
08-24-04, 03:56 PM
. . . and DSL rolls.

But do they taste good?

Dave Moulton
08-24-04, 03:57 PM
Actually, I LOVE smartasses!

:roflmao:


I see you're a teacher; I would have thought you preferred smart classes!

foehn
08-24-04, 04:00 PM
I used to be a vintner, but I whined about it.

I used to be a swineherd, but it was boring.

I made money as a shepherd, but then I got fleeced.

RegularGuy
08-24-04, 07:40 PM
I worked in a bakery because I kneaded the dough.

I can't believe no one had said that yet.

Stacey
08-24-04, 08:28 PM
My favorite job was in the candle factory. I only worked on wick ends!

ChipRGW
08-25-04, 12:41 PM
I had to give up my job at the Firestone plant, I was just two-tyred.
or,
My bicycle mechanic background didn't help much in my new job at the Toyota dealer. Apparently I was two-tired.

?
Hey, I'm trying here.

We've done these all before, if I'm not mistaken.

foehn
08-25-04, 02:29 PM
I used to be a hitman but the job was a killer.